by Rula Sinara
Okay, so maybe he shouldn’t tell Zuri yet. He wasn’t sure. He cranked his neck to the left and right to unkink the knot that was forming in his muscles.
“Um, yes. You do. Same for marines and most special ops.”
“That must mean you made good grades in school. Right?”
“Caden, I don’t think you like the water enough to join the navy, if that’s where this is going,” Zuri said.
Is that what the line of questioning was about? His kid wanted to follow in his footsteps? Damon’s chest swelled. They were going to have to get Caden in swim lessons first thing after the holidays and even then, only time would tell. The swimming endurance tests used to weed out applicants were brutal when he went through the process. Did Caden have it in him?
“He’s twelve. I’m sure he has a long time to think about it.”
Damon wanted to ask when his birthday was, but not in front of Caden. He didn’t want to highlight the fact that he didn’t know his own son’s birthday. He made a mental note to ask Zuri later. He took one of the decorative balls and hung it on a branch.
“That can’t go there, Damon. You put two balls of the same color next to each other. The reds and golds should be spread out,” Zuri said.
“I told you,” Caden said, rolling his eyes at Damon.
“Your aunt’s methodical approach helped me in school, so we’ll give her a pass on the tree.”
“How’d she help you?” Caden asked.
“I survived my science class because of her tutoring.”
“You struggled in school?”
No, he didn’t in general. At least not until senior year. He had always had a high GPA prior to that, but Zuri didn’t know that and this was a chance to prove he wasn’t trying to come between her and her nephew. He wanted Caden to respect her. He wished his parents had focused more on teaching their kids to respect the other parent, rather than bringing each other down in front of their children. He’d learn from history all right.
“I struggled a lot my senior year,” he said, evading how he’d done prior to that. He didn’t give details about why he struggled. The homework help with Zuri started when his grades started dropping because tension between his parents at home had become too distracting. It was hard to study around parents who argued all the time, and those disagreements about the most mundane things made them both irritable. Irritable parents had a way of snapping at everything their kids did.
As the oldest, that left Damon feeling like he’d never be good enough. He was expected to be an example for his brothers. The burden was on him, and every time his siblings messed up, their parents had a tendency to blame him or look in his direction. He loved his mom and dad and now knew that his mother had been doing the best she could at the time, but that fact didn’t change the past or what he went through. How it had affected his focus and will. He simply didn’t care about how well he did in school or college applications anymore. None of it seemed to matter.
His parents had also tended to unconsciously draw their kids into the relationship battle, complaining about each other to them, making them feel caught in a tug-of-war and forced to take sides. It wasn’t healthy.
God, he didn’t want his son to get caught in a custody battle between him and Zuri. Don’t let history repeat itself. Just don’t. His mother was wonderful. She really was. His dad was a good man, too. They both were when they weren’t together. His parents had simply gotten lost in their relationship, a fact that his mother realized and apologized for after Damon had reconnected, about a year into the navy. She had been trying to make up for it since then.
“You struggled in school? Like bad grades?” Caden asked.
“Yeah, for one semester my senior year.”
“Why only senior year?
“Senioritis,” Damon said. “Spring fever.” He wasn’t about to tell Caden about how his parents had been. “But I got back in gear and worked hard after that.”
Caden nodded.
The truth was, all it had taken was a few study sessions with Zuri and he had pulled his act together at school because, for some reason he couldn’t put his finger on at the time, he didn’t want her to think he was stupid.
She had intrigued him with her matter-of-fact, down-to-earth way of looking at things. She had been quiet and caring and he had needed that to balance him against the arguments at home. She didn’t judge. So even when his grades improved, he said he still needed help. He kept going to the tutoring clinic and they kept meeting at the library on their own time so that she could give him extra help. He just wanted to spend more time with her but needed an excuse because she didn’t fit his image. She didn’t fit in with his cool crowd.
He hadn’t realized at the time that he was leading her on. It hadn’t occurred to him that someone like Zuri would actually fall for him. That she’d ever see him as more than the school jock who wasn’t her type. On some level, he must have thought he was safe, enjoying her company and their connection without the responsibility of it ever becoming more.
Until the day she had asked him out.
And as if that hadn’t caught him off guard and scared him enough, others had overheard. People he didn’t want to share anything about his private life or thoughts with. Just like now. Haven’t changed much, have you? D. L. Dylan. Hiding behind a name. He put his hands in his back pockets and pretended to inspect how the tree was coming along.
“But I thought you said you had to be smart to become a navy SEAL,” Caden pointed out.
Checkmate. Not much got past the kid. Damon looked over to gauge Zuri’s expression. She pretended not to pay attention, but he saw her drying the corner of her eyes before continuing to decorate. This conversation was bringing back a bad memory for her, but he couldn’t ignore Caden. He needed to make things right.
“True.” He sat down on an armchair near the tree and leaned forward. “But nothing in life is unforgivable or the end of the world, if a person can prove themselves. If you bomb a quiz or test, you study harder for the next one. If you can only do five push-ups, you practice daily until you can do more. And if you ever say or do something that hurts someone’s feelings, you apologize sincerely, and prove you can do better. Life’s never perfect, but when you fall, you get up again and again and keep walking. Being smart isn’t only about information or facts, it has to do with doing what’s right and doing it with heart and soul.”
Zuri was now staring at him, her eyes watering and her hand holding a decoration but stalling in front of the tree. The second his eyes met hers, she ducked behind a branch and pretending to be looking for a better spot to hang the ornament. He hoped she understood that he was truly sorry. So much so that he couldn’t find the right words to do it justice.
“Are you hungry yet, Caden?” Zuri asked. “Or do you want to finish the tree first?” She was trying to change the subject. He couldn’t blame her. He was grateful for it.
“We can finish first,” Caden said. His brow furrowed and he hung another ornament but with much less excitement.
Damon pulled a stocking hook out from the box and set it on the table, then rummaged for the Newfoundland dog ornament he’d seen in the gift shop.
“You don’t have a fireplace,” Caden said, when he saw the holder. Zuri, face dried, came around to get another ornament and to see what Caden was talking about. Damon thumbed at the roughhewn, wooden shelf that hung over his television.
“I have that. It’ll work for stocking hanging. Only, I didn’t get a stocking for you yet.”
“I did,” Zuri said. She bit her lower lip and came around to the couch for a break. “I forgot yours in Boston, but I bought one today and was going to surprise you and hang it at the foot of your bed. If you’d like to hang it here, I’m okay with that. Unless, you want to get one yourself,” she said, looking at Damon.
“The one you got works for me. Bring it over anyt
ime,” he said. Her gaze lingered on him a few seconds, then she cleared her throat and got up.
“Uh, I’m going to borrow your restroom,” she said.
“Don’t forget to give it back,” Caden quipped with a lopsided grin.
“Huh?” Zuri didn’t get it.
Damon chuckled and stood to work on the tree.
“You don’t borrow a bathroom. You use it, Aunt Zuri.”
“Oh. Okay, smarty-pants. I’ll be right back.”
“She’s really gullible when it comes to jokes by the way,” Caden said.
“I’ll remember that.”
Her nephew had her pegged. Damon used to get a kick out of teasing her in a friendly way. She always fell for his jokes. Caden’s face turned serious again. He glanced over toward the hallway where his aunt disappeared, then fiddled with the stocking hook.
“Can I ask you something man to man?” His voice was lowered so that Zuri wouldn’t hear.
Man to man. Damon’s chest pinched at how sincere Caden sounded.
“You bet. What is it?”
“Woman problems.”
Damon kept a straight face. He rubbed his chin.
“I see. Woman problems can be the worst. This have anything to do with Sara?”
“Yeah. I guess. I think she’s mad at me. I might have said the wrong thing. I didn’t know she was adopted.”
“I see.” Damon didn’t either. This was the first he’d heard of it. “Well. The fact that you recognize that you may have upset her means you’re a good guy who pays attention. Being a good listener is important. Just say sorry and be honest about how you feel. Sometimes the stuff we worry about gets worse when we let it fester in our heads. Don’t keep it bottled up. Make sure she gets the message.”
“Like those ships they stick in bottles I saw at the gift shop, except some people stick notes in them and toss them out to sea? That happened in a story I read once when the main character was shipwrecked on an island.”
“Sort of like that. Why don’t you tell her that her friendship is important to you, then hear her out without getting defensive and, come to think of it, since Christmas is around the corner, you could make or give her something as a gesture.”
“I could do that. I already got her a stuffed turtle yesterday and had Aunt Zuri hide it, for Christmas, because Sara loves turtles. But I know something else she’d want that doesn’t cost anything.” His face brightened. “Thanks for the advice.”
“Anytime, kiddo.”
Zuri reappeared and they both smiled up at her.
“What?” She looked down to make sure she was zipped and buttoned and they started laughing. Gullible indeed.
“Can I plug it in?” Caden asked.
“Light her up,” Damon said. Caden stuck the cord in the nearest outlet and the tree came to life. Caden sat on the floor and leaned back onto Duck, who curled around him like a pillow.
“It’s beautiful,” Zuri said. “It makes the place feel like h—Christmassy.”
She was going to say home. He was sure of it. She was right. It did. But it wasn’t just about the decorations. It was the fact that his dog, son and Zuri were here. Family. They weren’t exactly a family, but he...wished...
He moved the box and set it by the door and brushed his hands together.
“Let’s eat,” Damon said.
He stood there and watched Zuri and Caden head to the kitchen with Duck at their heels. Family. Was it possible? Could he build one that was strong, loving and right that would last forever? He scrubbed the stubble along his jaw and rubbed at the pounding in his chest. He was a dad. He’d just had his first father-son talk and he had quite possibly learned more from it than his son had. Maybe it was time he listened to his own advice. Maybe all he had to do was tell Zuri the truth and say he was sorry. Maybe it was time to uncork the bottle and set his feelings for her free.
* * *
ZURI CURLED UP on the chair in the corner of the bedroom and turned on the small bedside lamp. She didn’t want to wake Caden up, but she couldn’t sleep and figured she could read the copy of the science journal she’d brought along. This time, dinner at Damon’s had been wonderful. She didn’t know how else to describe it. Decorating for the holidays like an ordinary family who wasn’t suffering, watching Damon and Caden connect in a way that seemed to infuse her nephew with a level of confidence she hadn’t seen in him before and doing mundane, normal things like washing and drying dishes with Damon as Caden played in the living room with Duck was...indescribable. It was as if she and Damon had recaptured the comfortable, unguarded feeling and dynamic between them that they used to have.
The only problem was that she liked it too much. And that scared her a little. Hoping for more was asking too much.
The rhythmic sound of waves crashing on the shore had lulled Caden to sleep pretty quickly. He’d had a long day and was exhausted. He had complained a little about his leg muscles aching, but he didn’t have a fever earlier. She hoped he wasn’t coming down with anything. They had been doing a lot of walking that he wasn’t used to, so that was likely all it was.
She got up and tiptoed over to his bed and touched his forehead gently, just to be sure. Nope. No fever. The book he’d fallen asleep reading was slipping from his fingers and half-covering his face. She picked it up slowly, so as not to wake him, and almost set it on his nightstand.
Chase Falcon: A Spy Amongst Us by D. L. Dylan. She was curious. If she hoped to understand her nephew better and if she wanted to keep from losing the relationship they’d had since he was born, she needed to make an effort to get where he was coming from.
Look at Eve and how she seemed to understand kids. She gave off a Peter Pan vibe that Zuri never could, but there was something to be said about grown-ups not losing their inner child. She had always been the responsible one and she saw so much of that in her nephew. Children who suffered trauma, like losing a parent, tended to grow up far too quickly. She didn’t want him jaded. She wanted him to embrace life.
Was Damon right? Was she partly at fault for being overprotective? She needed to give him some space to grow up or she was going to lose him altogether, whether it was to his father or not.
She read the blurb on the back of the cover. Interesting. It wasn’t the first book, but it was in her hands. If Caden knew she jumped into a series out of order he would go ballistic. To him, spoilers were criminal. But she just wanted to know why he loved the series so much.
She took the book, went back to the chair, and pulled the afghan around her shoulders. The wind picked up, rattling the screen on the window as it did every night. The rumble, smash, swoosh of the waves attacking the shore, only to retreat in defeat, added to the ambience. And less than one page in, she was swept away.
* * *
CADEN TRUDGED BACK from the beach with his prize in hand. He’d gotten up before his aunt and the only person awake downstairs had been Mrs. Biddle. He’d almost called her Grandma Mel, because he’d heard Sara say it so much, but caught himself just in time. He told her he was going for a walk on the beach and she made him promise not to go near the water’s edge and to be back within ten minutes or she’d start worrying. She also made him put a jacket on because the windchill that morning had dipped into the upper forties. It still felt like early spring up north to him and he didn’t get cold easily, but he obeyed anyway and put his jacket on. He didn’t zip it up though.
He had hoped he’d run into his dad walking Duck or even that veterinarian walking his dog, Laddie, the one who had been at Castaway Books, or even Duck’s son, Shamu, but no one was out other than two guys he could see with surfboards much farther down the beach—too far to see details—and someone in red from the patrol team talking to them. He couldn’t tell if it was his dad, though he assumed it wasn’t since Duck wasn’t in sight.
He made his way up to the low dune that shielde
d the cottage from the beach and took the pier-style walkway past the firepit, then jogged up the steps to the deck. He could see Sara walking into the kitchen. She yawned and accepted a cup of juice from her grandmother.
He held his hands behind his back. He needed to talk to Sara, but not in front of anyone. He looked around. Maybe he could hide what he’d gotten her and give it to her later. He started for a ceramic pot in the corner of the deck but the glass door opened and Sara stepped out, closing it behind her. Her expression was neutral. He wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.
“I was told to let you know that breakfast is ready if you want some.”
He nodded.
“Okay.”
Come on, man. Say something that isn’t stupid. She’s gonna go back inside and you’ll lose your chance. Channel your inner Falcon. Better yet, be brave like your dad.
Sara started to reach for the patio door handle.
“Wait,” Caden said. Words turned on his tongue and he struggled to set them straight. He was feeling really hot and wished he hadn’t put the jacket on after all. “I, um, I have something for you.”
Sara cocked her head at him.
“Why?”
Why? He tried to recall every word of his dad’s advice.
...if you ever say or do something that hurts someone’s feelings, you apologize and prove you can do better.
His dad was right. He needed to tell Sara he was sorry. He needed to get up and keep walking instead of giving up, so to speak. He remembered the scene in book one of the Falcon series where Chase had admitted he’d made a critical mistake and everyone thought it would put the world in danger, but in the end, his being humble enough to admit when he was wrong led to him working with others and discovering a truth that saved them all.
