by Mia Madison
“I’m sorry you got hurt because of me,” he murmured against my skin, his breath causing goosebumps to rise on my legs.
It was on the tip of my tongue to argue that it wasn’t his fault, but it would have been a lie. As surprised and elated as I was by his behavior, I couldn’t help but be a little pissed about his reaction to James and his total lack of reaction to me before any of this went down.
“I don’t understand,” I said helplessly, begging him for an explanation with my eyes. “Why are you so mad about James? Do you not want me to be happy?”
“He wouldn’t have made you happy,” he argued. “We both know what you want—who you want—and it’s not him.”
Well, that answered that. Confirmation from the man himself that he knew how I felt about him—he’d probably known for a long time—and he purposely ignored it until I dared to go out with another man. The only reason he was with me was over petty jealousy. As soon as the threat of me being with someone else lifted, he would go back to breaking my heart by calling me ‘kid’ and acting like he didn’t know how I felt.
I couldn’t stand the thought of it. As his touch left my skin and he left the ice pack in his place, I could already feel him withdrawing back into his old ways. He brought the food in without a word and we ate wordlessly while the movie played in the background.
Everything I ate was tasteless. I forced as much down as I could before I turned my upper body toward him on the couch and waited for him to acknowledge me. When he refused to turn away from the screen, I found the strength to say what I knew I needed to say.
“I think you should go.”
That got his attention. He angled his body toward mine, searching my face for… something. I had no idea what he was looking for, but he narrowed his eyes a little as he slowly said, “The movie’s not over.”
With his eyes staring directly into mine, it was a lot harder to force out the words I needed to say. So hard, in fact, that I could feel my eyes beginning to water as I whispered, “I think it is. Please go.”
David waited for any indication I was joking. When a traitorous tear slipped out and ran down my cheek, he let out a heavy sigh and shut his eyes. His blurry form eventually stood and slowly walked to the doorway, pausing briefly to glance back at me.
“Promise me that you’ll call if you need anything.”
“I promise.”
He lingered for another brief moment. I looked back at the screen, staring at the movie blankly as his heavy footsteps faded and the sound of my front door opened and closed.
For the first time, I truly felt like following David was the biggest mistake of my life. With that thought in mind, I pulled the throw blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around myself. I laid down as much as I could—mindful of my ankle and the ice pack—and cried silently for what felt like hours until I finally fell asleep.
Chapter 5
“I think you were right. It’s not sprained, just sore from the twist.”
“So you’re feeling better?”
Well, my ankle was feeling better. My heart? Not so much.
“Much better. The ice helped a lot.”
James’s sigh of relief was audible over the phone. “I’m glad to hear that. You sure you’re okay? Because I don’t mind coming over to take a look if you need me to.”
“I’m sure, but thank you.”
“Thank you for checking in with me. I was worried.”
He didn’t say it, but the real meaning behind his words was clear. I was grateful he left the ball in my court, and while I didn’t really want to talk about what went down with David, I knew I owed him at least a partial explanation. I figured that getting a man’s perspective on the whole situation might also be a good idea.
“I’m really sorry about David,” I said with a sigh. “He… We… It’s really complicated. I’m kind of in love with him, but he was my father’s best friend for a while until he moved away and I moved out here to be closer to him and it’s just… God, I messed up so badly. I never should have come here.”
James was quiet for a long stretch of time. I think he could hear me breaking down, and he was polite enough to give me a chance to pull myself together before he spoke again.
“He cares about you.”
I couldn’t help it—I snorted. “Yeah, I can tell by the way he calls me ‘kid’ all the time. It’s so obvious.”
James chuckled. “Judging by the things he said to me last night before we almost came to blows, I really don’t think he sees you as a ‘kid’.”
“What did he say?”
“It’s not important. Just… Fuck, I really hate that I’m going to go to bat for this jackass. But since you care about him… put yourself in his shoes for a minute, Emily. Maybe he just wants to keep seeing you as a kid because it feels wrong to be attracted to his friends’ daughter. Maybe he’s putting up a front because he isn’t sure how to handle the blowout that’ll happen with your dad if he were to make a move.”
It’s not that I hadn’t thought about that, but I never placed much emphasis on it. I mean, we didn’t even live in the same town as my parents, so it felt like a non-issue to me.
“My dad doesn’t need to find out,” I said, my voice wavering so hard with uncertainty that even I could hear it.
“No? What if the two of you got married? You’re just not going to invite your parents to the wedding? Or what if you got pregnant? Having a baby in secret sounds like it’d be a huge pain in the ass. You going to get an on-call babysitter for when your parents come to visit, or just have him take the kid and hide? You might have a hard time explaining the crib and the bottles and shit in your house. Wait, wait. You can tell them that you’re an on-call babysitter! It’s a flawless plan. You’re welcome.”
“Damn it, James! Would you stop being so logical?” I scolded, rolling my eyes when he laughed in response. “Okay, yes. I never really gave it that much thought. Though I have…”
“Have what?”
“I have thought about having children with him. Like, a lot.”
“I can see why. He’s very charming,” he said dryly.
“I liked you a lot more without all the sarcasm, James.”
“Wow. We didn’t even have one date and you still sound like every woman I’ve ever gone out with. ‘I liked you so much until I got to know you.’ You know, I’m starting to think that it’s me.”
It was clear that he was joking and we both ended up laughing like hell for a bit. After I got myself under control, I admitted, “I was really scared to call you today. I was so sure you’d hate me.”
“Oh, come on. I could never hate you.”
“You don’t know me very well.”
To my surprise, he didn’t laugh. He just softly said, “I don’t have to. I think I know you well enough to know you’re a good woman. You deserve to be with whoever you want, and I’d be happy to just be a friend.”
“I’m so glad to hear that. I would have missed our conversations at work.”
“So would I. Luckily, it won’t come to that.” Just as I was about to reply, my doorbell rang. James must have heard it over the phone, because he added, “I don’t know how you ended things last night, but it sounds like he’s back for more.”
“Badly,” I grunted as I stood and gingerly hobbled toward the window. “It ended badly. It can’t be him.”
“Twenty bucks says you’re wrong.”
I gasped as I peeked through the curtains and saw him standing on the porch, staring directly into the window I was looking out of. Our eyes locked and he raised his brows, a silent question.
“It’s him.”
“Of course, it is,” James said incredulously, like he couldn’t believe I ever doubted him. “And now you owe me lunch.”
“What—What do I do?”
“Whatever makes you happy.” James sounded so sure of himself, and so patient with me, that my eyes started to sting. Until he added, “And tell him I said to go fuck himself
. I’ll see you Monday, Emily.”
“Oh my God,” I mumbled as the line went dead. I started to laugh until the doorbell rang again and the laugh turned to a huff of annoyance. “I’m coming!”
I opened the door and immediately had a bouquet of roses thrust toward me. David was standing behind them, dressed in a black button-down shirt and a pair of dark jeans. His dark hair was slicked back and his jaw was freshly shaven. His blue eyes bore intensely into mine as he offered me the red roses.
“What are these for?” I dumbly asked as I took them in the hand that I wasn’t using to prop myself on the doorframe with.
“Our first date.”
“Wh-What?”
He stepped forward, gently cupping my waist for support as he guided me backward. Without breaking eye contact, he reached behind him and shut the door, twisting the lock into place and leaving us in yet another pregnant silence.
Why had it felt so easy to taunt him with skimpy clothes, but so impossible to navigate the waters once I captured some kind of interest? He didn’t seem keen on breaking the silence right away either. I blushed hard as he looked me over and the smirk that formed told me he knew exactly what he was doing to me. Bastard.
“Where’s the dress?”
“I’m sorry?”
“The dress you wore last night. Where’d you put it?”
“In the laundry. It got dirty, remember?”
David hummed, regret flashing through his eyes so quickly I almost missed it. My eyes fluttered when he leaned in and I caught the potent mixture of his cologne and his natural scent. My heart started pounding hard in my chest—I was certain he was going to kiss me.
I gasped when he suddenly leaned back and went stalking toward my bedroom. I’d given him a tour of the house not long after I moved in, and he wasn’t shy about making himself right at home. I hobbled after him, frowning when I finally caught up and found him rummaging in my closet.
“What the hell are you doing?” I asked incredulously.
“Helping you get ready for our date,” he said as he flipped through my clothes. He must have found something he liked because he took a sharp inhale of breath and said, “Perfect. Put this on.”
What he chose was the tightest dress I owned—not to mention incredibly short and fire engine red. It was an impulse purchase that I never had any intention of wearing outside the house, but David was insistent as he pushed it at me.
“I-I don’t think I should be going out,” I said nervously, searching for any excuse I could find to not wear the dress. “My ankle still hurts.”
“Do you really think I’d let you go out in public in this dress?” he asked with a raised eyebrow and a humorless laugh. “No man would be able to keep his eyes off you. This is for me alone. We’re staying in.”
He laid the dress on the bed, waiting patiently as I made my way toward it. I gulped as I touched the fabric and looked back to find him watching me intently. I was about to snap at him to at least give me some privacy when I noticed his lips twitching at the corners.
He was messing with me! My teasing over the years had obviously gotten to him and now he was trying to call my bluff. His intention was written all over his face. He didn’t think I’d do it. He thought this was all a game—the crush of a little girl who didn’t know what she wanted.
Raising my chin in defiance, I turned around to face him directly and lifted my oversized t-shirt over my head, leaving me standing before him in only a pair of beige panties. I only had a brief moment to revel in the victory of his wide, shocked eyes before David let out a growl and surged forward, smashing his lips against mine in a wild frenzy.
I moaned and closed my eyes, wrapping my arms around his neck as a single thought echoed through my head: Finally!
Chapter 6
His lips were addictive. Firm against mine, he led me through the motions of how to kiss with ease, despite my inexperience. When he slowed his pace seemingly out of nowhere, I wondered if he knew it was my first kiss. If he knew I was a virgin.
Warm palms caressed my bare back and I arched out of instinct, pulling a groan from David that I could feel where his chest met mine. My gasp against his lips must have broken the spell because he turned his head away and sucked in a long breath.
“Fuck, Emily,” he breathed. He swept the hair from my neck and bent to brush his lips against my shoulder, making me shudder. “I didn’t want to rush this. I wanted to take it slow.”
“I’ve been waiting years for this,” I said with a pitiful whine, sliding my hands up the back of his shirt and smiling when I heard him grunt in approval. “I think we’ve taken it slow enough.”
David hummed and reached back to remove my hands, making a tsk-tsk sound when I tried to continue. “Hold up,” he said with a chuckle as he dragged my hands to my front and stepped back. The smile fell from his lips as soon as he saw my breasts. “Shit, bad idea. Get in bed and cover yourself for a minute. Please.”
He turned around and I followed his directions, sliding beneath the covers and pulling them up until the majority of my skin was out of view. When I announced that I was decent, he turned back around, a hand scrubbing roughly at his jaw.
The seconds ticked by in silence until he finally asked, “Why me?”
“What do you mean?”
David sighed and sat on the foot of my bed, gazing back at me with a helpless look that reminded me of how I usually felt around him. It was so familiar it was almost eerie.
“Out of all the guys you could have picked… Why me? Why not someone closer to your own age?”
“It’s not like I did it on purpose,” I admitted softly, looking down at my comforter and picking at a stray string as I added, “You can’t really pick who you fall in love with.”
“Emily—”
“Did you move because of me?” I demanded, trying to fight back tears as I mentally ran through all the horrible things he might have said in response to my declaration. “Tell me the truth, please.”
“No. But… I will admit that it was part of the reason I took the job out here. A very small part.”
“You were attracted to me back then? Then why—”
“You were too young for me,” he said with a tight jaw. “You’re still too young for me, but at least you’re a damn adult now. Do you have any idea what kind of position you put me in back then? I never would have touched you, Emily. Never. But everything you did—every time you came around to taunt me in those little shorts—you made me feel like a fucking pervert. I hated myself for my attraction to you and it had nothing to do with your father.”
“Oh.” The thought of what I was doing to him as a grown man never occurred to my adolescent mind. Now that he laid it all out in front of me, I felt tears springing to my eyes as I considered how horribly I acted. “I’m sorry. I never once thought…. God! I’m so sorry. Please, please forgive me.”
I covered my face with my hands and sobbed, crying harder when I felt David crawl up the bed and wrap me in his arms. He held me close to him, burying his face in my hair.
“Don’t cry, baby. It was a long time ago. And for the record—I do remember what it was like to be a teenager. You don’t really think about shit like that. I know you didn’t mean anything by it.”
“I-I knew—” I stopped to hiccup, wincing a little when he rubbed my back. God, I was beyond mortified. “I knew you wouldn’t have—I wasn’t trying to—I just wanted you to notice me. I-I never wanted you to… I’m so sorry.”
“I know. It’s okay, Emily. Things are different now.”
My voice wavered as I asked, “Are they?”
David’s fingers wove into my hair and he tilted my head back. He wiped away my tears with the pad of his thumb and stared into my eyes. The expression on his face made me gulp.
“They can be. When you first showed up, I thought for sure you’d eventually realize that what you felt for me back then was just a crush. Hell, I thought I’d realize the same thing.” David shook his he
ad with a sad little smile that made my heart ache. “But that’s not what happened—at least not for me. Tell me how you feel about me, Emily.”
It was the most terrifying moment of my life. He was patient. He wiped at the tears that were still slowly falling, giving me a chance to pull myself together while he gave me a hopeful, tender smile.
“I love you.”
His eyes closed briefly and he took in a long, deep breath. I followed his lead, smiling a little when I felt his forehead rest against my own.
“I love you, sweetheart.”
My eyes flew open only to close again when he brought our lips together. The kiss was slower than the first. Deliberate. I vaguely registered the sound of shoes hitting the floor beside my bed just before the mattress started to dip under our combined weight. David eased himself beneath the blankets, sliding his body atop mine and molding us together.
I moaned against his lips and slid my hands over his chest, blindly undoing the buttons of his shirt. When it opened, I tried to run my hands over his bare skin only to be stopped by David’s lips leaving mine and moving downward.
“You saved yourself for me, didn’t you?” he asked breathlessly against the column of my neck. I nodded and he groaned. “That’s what I thought. You’ve always been mine, haven’t you?”
“Yes,” I hissed as he licked and sucked at my neck, a large hand splaying wide across my stomach before it slid up to the underside of my breast. “David, please.”
My expectations of what his touch would feel like were nothing compared to the real thing. His mouth moved down to capture my nipple between his lips while his hand pinched the other. I arched under his ministrations, feeling myself growing slicker by the second. His tongue flicked rapidly over my stiff peak while he sucked at the same time. It felt so much better than anything I’d ever done to myself.
“More,” I gasped as my hips started moving on their own accord, desperate for friction. “I need more, David.”
“I know, baby,” he murmured before placing a parting kiss to my breast and moving toward the other. “I’ll take care of you.”
