by Sophie Blue
“Night sweetheart,” Mum says, ending the call and I start to look in my duffel bag for my pyjamas. With the shower still running, I quickly change into them, opting to shower in the morning.
I hear the shower turn off as I switch the TV on, searching for something to watch. I find an English channel and leave that on, while grabbing my notebook to start scribbling again. I’m still determined to write a poem for Gramps, but I can’t find the right words.
Hearing the bathroom door open, I look up and my eyes widen. Tyler is stood in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. My eyes travel the length of his body and I can’t help but appreciate how ripped he is. He’s towel drying his hair and looking at me apologetically.
“This ok? I wasn’t expecting to share a room, and I don’t own pyjamas,” he admits, with a goofy smile.
“Yeah, of course,” I say, averting my eyes before I shamelessly ogle him again. He really is an attractive man. Toned in all the right places. You’re not ready to start dating again. You’re focusing on you, remember? Pulling myself together, I add, “This is the only channel I could find, hope you like cooking shows.”
Laughing, he says, “Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll probably crash as soon as my head hits the pillow. I figured we’d get an early start tomorrow if that’s ok? It’s a six-hour drive, if we leave by eight am we should get there for two-ish.”
“Yeah, that sounds like a plan. We can grab breakfast here before we head out. We still have plenty of snacks left too.”
“Great, I’ve set my alarm for six. Gives us plenty of time to get sorted and have breakfast and coffee.” He pulls the duvet back on his twin bed and climbs in.
“Sounds like a plan,” I say, heading to the bathroom to sort myself out before bed. Once I’ve done what needed to be done, I head back into the room and notice Tyler is already asleep. Laughing softly to myself, I take his phone from his hand and set it on the bedside table.
Turning the lights off, I climb into my bed and shut my eyes. What a day! Even though I was just a passenger, I’m exhausted. So much more excitement than I’m used to, but I’m looking forward to tomorrow and what lies ahead.
Chapter Fourteen
As we drive through Provence, I’m in awe of the beauty around me. This place is incredible. Tyler and I got an early start after breakfast as planned and made it here in good time. With the sun still shining down on us, I’m feeling optimistic about the road ahead.
We pull into a small car park and decide to explore on foot. Grabbing my handbag, I put my sunglasses on and follow Tyler’s lead. Walking through the village, I’m charmed by the architecture and the beautiful flowers. It feels magical. As we turn a corner, I stop with a gasp. Ahead of me I see hundreds of sunflowers. A golden field sits basking in the sun. I’m in awe. It is truly breath-taking and I pull out my phone to take a picture.
“They’re amazing,” I whisper, enchanted by the sight in front of me. Grabbing my hand, Tyler pulls me forward and we approach the fields. I feel a spark from his touch and heat travels up my arm. I try to shake it off and focus on the beautiful surroundings. That’s what I’m here for.
So many flowers! All stood tall and proud, savouring the heat of the sun and dancing gently in the breeze. I reach out to touch one as we get closer, feeling the silky petals under my touch and once again surprised at how something can be so fragile yet so strong all at once. Maybe I’m like these flowers? Feeling fragile but really strong and able to weather the storms life throws at me.
The sun is out in full force, giving the field an almost ethereal glow. A part of me feels like it’s Gramps, shining down on us and showing me that he is here in spirit too. I open my bag and pull out the photo tucked into my notebook. Smiling down at his grinning face, I so wish he could have seen this. He would have loved it.
“Pass me your phone, I’ll take a photo of you both,” Tyler says, motioning for my phone. Passing it to him, I stand in front of some of the tallest flowers and hold Gramps in front of me, smiling. Tyler takes a couple of photos and hands the phone back to me.
“Thanks,” I say, slipping the photo safely back into my notebook and then my bag. I look around and smile. Pulling up the photos Tyler just took, I quickly send one off to my mum.
“This is truly something,” Tyler says, walking through the field and taking in the view. I snap a photo of him walking through the field in awe.
“Isn’t it?” The vibrant colours surrounding us are so inspiring. Snapping some more photos, I follow Tyler deeper into the field. Losing ourselves among the flowers, with the sun beaming down on the scene before me, I smile and feel freer than I have in a long time.
We spot a small sunflower shop on the other side of the road, so make a beeline for it. Selling more sunflower mementos than you can imagine, it makes me smile. Looking at the grow your own sunflower kits, sunflower mugs, sunflower scarfs, and sunflower alarm clocks, I smile at how there are people out there as obsessed with sunflowers as I am. Tyler excuses himself to find the restroom and I continue exploring the shop.
Turning the corner, I spot a wall of sunflowers. Each flower is made of card and has a note written on it. I walk closer and read a few of them. They range from just having names and dates on, to having people’s aspirations on them. The hopes and dreams of hundreds of people are laid out before me and it’s so inspiring.
“Beautiful isn’t it?” I hear a voice behind me ask, and I turn to see the shop owner standing there. Looking over the rim of her silver glasses, she smiles at me.
“It is. What is it?” I ask, in awe of the sight.
“It’s the Wall Of Hope. Sunflowers have long since been associated with hope and luck, so people who visit write their hopes on a flower and put it on the wall. Or even just their names. Hoping they will grow into something strong, like the flowers outside.”
“That’s beautiful,” I say, smiling up at the messages. So many hopes and dreams. The world truly is filled with an abundance of hope and it warms my heart. How can things be hopeless when so many people around the world have so much hope? So much belief in the goodness in the world.
“Here,” she says, passing me a sunflower shaped card of my own. “Write whatever you like and add it to the wall.”
With one last smile, she walks away. Leaving me and the Wall Of Hope. Taking my time, I read some of the many messages already on the wall.
“What are you going to write?” Tyler asks; I didn’t realise he’d returned. Must have been lost in thought.
“I’m not sure yet,” I say, smiling up at him. Grabbing a pen from the table next to the wall, I think for a few minutes and then let the words flow.
May our hopes grow,
And our dreams soar,
Like the field of flowers,
Where we found more.
Beautiful flowers,
Please weave your spell,
Let us shine bright,
Tyler and Isabelle. xo
Taking it from me, with an approving smile, Tyler pins the flower to a space high up on the wall and we stand back to admire our addition to the beautiful golden display.
“Look at that, now we’re famous,” he jokes and I smile, thinking back to my childhood.
Chapter Fifteen
Age Eight
Sitting on a plastic chair in a large village hall, I scribble furiously in my diary. Writing my thoughts down in my lockable notebook. Looking up I smile when I see Gramps. He’s building a set for Nan’s amateur dramatics group. Their upcoming play opens here in two weeks, and Gramps is helping make the set. My nan is an actress and I love helping her run her lines. She’s at the other end of the hall practicing with some of the other cast members.
Locking my diary and pocketing the key, I jump down from my chair and run over to Gramps.
“Can I help you build?” I ask, eager to help. He has tools everywhere, screwdrivers, a drill, a spirit level.
“You can if you want to, Sunflower,” he replies, smiling up at me from where he’s
drilling into a piece of timber. “Can you pass me those screws please?”
I pass them over and sit next to him on the floor, watching him intently and taking it all in.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“I’m making the frame for the doors. There needs to be two doorways where the cast can enter and exit from. This is the frame,” he says, pointing to the pieces of timber he is lining up. Taking a pencil from behind his ear, he writes something on the wood.
“Are you signing it, so everyone knows you made it?” I ask curiously, as he laughs.
“No, Sunflower. I’m writing the measurements on it so I don’t forget. Do you think I should sign it?”
Nodding, I say, “Then whenever anyone sees it, they’ll know it was you who made it.”
“Ok, I’ll sign it for both of us.” I watch as he writes his initials on the wood and then draws a little sunflower underneath, and I giggle.
“There you go. We’re famous now,” he jokes and I smile, sliding closer to the tools to help him with whatever he is going to do next.
Chapter Sixteen
After an amazing day exploring Provence, we find a hotel and book a room for the night. It’s been a long, but wonderful, day. Dropping our bags on the twin beds, I sit on mine and Tyler starts making us both a coffee.
“Where do you want to go for dinner? I think I saw a couple of restaurants over the road if you fancy it,” Tyler says while filling the kettle and putting it on to boil.
“Sounds like a plan. I’m shattered, so the less walking involved, the better,” I say, rubbing my feet now I’ve taken off my shoes. I don’t regret it for a moment though. Walking for hours through the fields and admiring the natural beauty was a perfect way to spend the day.
Tyler hands me a mug of coffee, and I thank him before taking a sip. Regardless of the time of day, nothing is better than that first sip of caffeinated bliss.
“Cool, well I’ll jump in the shower after this and we can head out. Did you want a shower?”
“Yes, but you go first. I’ll give my friend Alice a call so she stops badgering me,” I joke, even though that is exactly what she’s doing. She’s a nightmare, but I love her.
“Cool. Was it what you expected?” he asks, and I look over at him in question. “The sunflower field.”
“It was better.” Smiling at the thought of it. All the photos we took, the fun we had walking amongst the golden flowers in the sun. I even bought a little sunflower keyring as a keepsake to remember this day. “Gramps would have loved it.”
“He was there today. With the sun shining down and all those flowers, there’s no way he wasn’t.” Tyler grabs a clean change of clothes and heads to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
His words hit me in the chest. Not just because I believe him, Gramps was there. But because they’re so thoughtful. I need to take a step back. This trip is about finding myself, not finding a man. It’s been a couple of days; I’m just enjoying having someone to lean on. Nothing else.
Reaching for my phone, I dial Alice’s number as I take another sip of coffee. She answers after one ring.
“It’s about time you called!” I can hear the teasing tone to her voice and smile.
“Hello to you too.” I laugh, sitting back against the headboard, balancing the phone between my ear and shoulder, and cradling my mug of coffee.
“How are you? How’s the adventure with Mr. Hottie?” she singsongs and I laugh.
Rolling my eyes, I say, “It’s amazing. We saw the most beautiful sights today. The sunflower field was incredible, Al! I’m having so much fun.”
“Aww, I’m so glad! You deserve it.”
“We’re heading to Spain tomorrow. We’re going to stop overnight in Barcelona.” The excitement in my voice is almost embarrassing. But I never expected to be having this much fun or to see so many amazing places.
“That sounds amazing! Have you and him hooked up yet?” And there it is. Typical Alice.
“Alice!” I shriek, shaking my head at her forwardness. This girl is something else. We may be complete opposites, but I wouldn’t change her for the world.
“What? He’s hot, you’re single. Spending all day, every day together… I’m wiggling my eyebrows, just so you know,” I roll my eyes at her and laugh. She truly is ridiculous but that’s why we get on so well. She’s the silly to my serious. We balance each other out perfectly.
“No Alice. We haven’t, and we won’t. You know I can’t,” I say, closing my eyes and sighing to the ceiling. I wish it were that easy. But it isn’t. I can’t lose my focus again; I don’t want to go back to that dark place I found myself in after I lost Gramps. My focus has to be on healing myself from within. No matter how attractive, fun to be around, charismatic and witty Tyler is, now is not the time to develop feelings.
“Hooking up and a relationship are two different things. I’m not telling you to marry the guy! Just let your hair down; you deserve to have some fun, Belly.”
“I can’t,” I say, hearing the shower shut off and wanting to change the subject before Tyler overhears our ridiculous conversation, I ask, “How’s work?”
She sighs. “Same as always, overworked, underpaid. But what’re you gonna do?”
“True story,” I say. “I’m going to go, we’re heading out to dinner in a bit, but I’ll call you soon, ok?”
“You better! I miss you.”
“I miss you too.” I smile as I say goodbye and hang up, as Tyler steps into the room, washed and dressed. He really is gorgeous. Freshly trimmed facial scruff, with wet, messed up hair that he is running his fingers through, I have to look away so I don’t blush.
“It’s all yours,” he says, pointing over his shoulder. “Nicest shower I’ve had in a long time!” Lucky shower.
“Thanks!” Grabbing my change of clothes and toiletries, I make my way into the bathroom and shut the door, leaning back against it and sighing.
Hooking up is a terrible idea, right?
Chapter Seventeen
Sitting outside a little restaurant in Provence, we gratefully accept our drinks from the waiter as we watch the sun begin to set. The pinks and oranges light up the sky and it’s stunning. Tyler ordered a beer, and I have a small glass of rosé. We placed our food orders and are now enjoying the view.
Lifting his pint glass and holding it out to me, he says, “Cheers. Here’s to your gramps.”
My heart warms at his gesture and I clink my glass with his. Glancing up at the sky and thinking of Gramps, I hope he and Nan are enjoying being reunited.
“And to new friendships,” I add, smiling at him. Taking a sip of my sweet wine, I sigh in bliss. It tastes fruity and fresh. It’s the icing on the cake today.
“So what do you want to do tomorrow in Barcelona?” I ask, putting my wine down and sitting back in my seat, admiring the view. The landscape view, obviously, not the attractive male view in front of me. Nope.
“I don’t mind. I’ve never been before; I’m sure we’ll find something touristy to do.” Grinning, he points to his phone on the edge of the table. “We could make a list, plan it out.”
“I love it when you talk planning to me,” I joke, taking another sip of wine. He winks in return and our waiter comes back with our meal at the perfect time to distract Tyler from my traitorous blush.
Tucking into the burger and fries, I’m surprised at how easy it is to be around Tyler. We’ve only known each other a few days, but I feel like I can trust him with anything. The banter is flowing and we are genuinely having a good time. Days like today remind me of how far I have come. A few months ago, the thought of being out in public would have me fighting off a panic attack. Now here I am, sitting in another country, completely at ease in the company of a relative stranger.
When the waiter brings the dessert menu, I try to politely decline, but Tyler tells him we’ll have a look.
“Come on! When in Rome and all that,” he says, waving the menu at me to tempt me.
&nb
sp; “I know I said I wanted to grow as a person on this trip, but I didn’t mean outwards!” I say, motioning to my already full belly. He lets out a loud laugh that attracts the attention of the couple next to us and I grin.
“We can split one?” he suggests, and I find it hard to resist. So Tyler tells the approaching waiter that we’ll share an ice cream sundae.
“So back to your bucket list, you wanted to go to the casino in Monaco, right?” I ask, before taking another sip of my refreshing wine.
“Yeah, I’d love to experience it if we’re passing through anyway. Might be fun,” he shrugs his shoulder as he takes another slurp of his beer.
“Definitely! I’m rubbish at gambling, but I’ll give it a go.”
“How can you be rubbish at gambling? It’s all luck,” he laughs, as the waiter sets down our sundae and two spoons.
“I know but I’m too money conscious to gamble. I hate the idea of throwing money away,” I admit, sheepishly, picking up a spoon and digging into the dessert.
“Ah, so you’re tight,” he nods in understanding, with a grin on his stupidly handsome face. Picking up his own spoon, he helps himself to the sundae.
“Shut up! I’m not tight. I’m just sensible, thank you very much,” I say, batting his spoon away playfully with my own.
“Spoken like a true penny pincher,” he mocks, waggling his spoon at me.
I laugh and roll my eyes. “Whatever. I said I’d give it a go, so let’s see who wins,” I tease back, enjoying the ease of his company.
“Game on.” He grins, and I smile in return.
“So tell me about you. I feel like all we’ve done since we started this trip is talk about me,” I say, scooping some more of the sundae onto my spoon. I notice Tyler’s demeanour change when I try to steer the conversation his way again. It’s only brief, but I notice it nonetheless.
