by Sophie Blue
“Fuck, Belles!” He groans, tightening his hand in my hair and making me smile at how I can affect him. There is nothing hotter than being on your knees for a man. Massaging him with my tongue, I pull back before taking him in all the way. He lets out a string of expletives that I take to mean he’s enjoying himself. I move a hand to massage his balls as I continue to bob up and down.
“I’m close,” he groans, and I speed up. Taking him a little deeper, squeezing his balls a little harder. Just when I feel him about to explode, I pull back and push my breasts up, letting him release all over my chest. “Fuck!”
Looking down at the mess he’s made of me, and seeing the satisfied look on his face, I feel on top of the world. When he catches his breath, he helps me to stand, turning me so I’m in the water and helping to wash his release off of my skin. I revel in the feel of his fingers on my skin and lean into his touch. He kisses me behind the ear and whispers into my ear, “You are something else, you know that?”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Singing along to the country song blaring out of the car’s speakers, I forget I’m not alone. This trip has been so healing for me. I feel lighter than when I first started the trip, although I’m sure the scales will disagree with the way we’ve been eating!
Tyler joins in with the chorus and we sing our crazy little hearts out. When the song comes to an end, he turns it down and we laugh.
“Look who is letting go of her fear,” he teases, but I know what he means. A week ago, I wouldn’t have dared let myself go in front of him. Now I feel like life is too short to worry about the little things.
“I feel stronger, if that makes sense? Like I won’t break if someone sees I’m less than perfect,” I admit, pushing my sunglasses onto the top of my head and looking over at him.
“You won’t. Your Gramps knew that. Why do you think he nicknamed you sunflower? You may appear delicate, but you’re strong. So bloody strong and resilient.”
Blushing at his words, I run my fingers over my sunflower locket. He’s right. I am strong.
“So where’s this tattoo shop?” I ask, ready to put a permanent reminder of Gramps and this trip on my body.
“Not too far from here,” he smiles over at me. “What are you going to get?”
“That little sunflower on my ankle in memory of Gramps that I told you about,” I say, thinking of the cute design I found online. Simple and dainty, I think it will be perfect. “What about you? Are you getting one too?”
“I’m thinking of getting ‘Carpe diem’ on my ribs.”
“I love that idea,” I say, picturing it perfectly in my head.
Lying in the chair in the tattoo shop, I take a deep breath and hold onto the hand Tyler has offered me. I can do this. I picked a cute sunflower tattoo, with a dainty green stem, a couple of leaves, and bright yellow petals. It’s small enough that I can cover it with socks, but it stands out and will remind me of Gramps every time I see it.
The whirring of the needle makes my eyes shoot open, as the tattoo artist gets into position.
“You ready?” he asks, and I squeeze Tyler’s hand, thankful he’s here with me.
“As ready as I will ever be.” I close my eyes and try to focus on anything other than what is happening. Tyler does his best to distract me, asking about what I want for dinner and how much money I think I’ll lose in Monaco. I try really hard to focus on him and not on the hideous pain the other man in the room is inflicting on me.
“All done,” the tattoo artist says, turning the needle off and sitting back. Tyler helps me sit up and I look down at my new tattoo. It’s perfect. Vibrant and elegant, it’s exactly what I wanted.
“Looks good, Belles,” Tyler says with a proud smile as the other guy wraps it up and explains the after care. Tyler is up next and I sit back and enjoy the view as he pulls his t-shirt off of his ripped chest. I will never tire of seeing him shirtless—or naked but we’re in public so maybe later. Lying back in the seat, he grins over at me. “You going to hold my hand?”
“Are you scared?” I joke, taking his hand in mine and watching as the tattoo artist gets the template ready.
“Terrified.” He winks at me. “But that’s what this trip is about, right? Facing our fears.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
As we walk through the streets of Monaco, I can see why Tyler wanted to stop here. It’s like something out of a film. With the flashy cars, elaborate hotels and yachts in the beautiful harbour, this place is something else. Tyler suggested we stay in Nice, as it’s much cheaper, and just drive into Monaco for the day, so that’s what we did.
Walking up to the casino, I’m nervous. They have people on the door making sure you’re dressed appropriately. I’m in a floral summer dress, it’s nice but not dressy. I didn’t exactly plan on stopping at a casino on this trip. My new ink is proudly on display on my ankle. I’m over the moon with how it came out. Tyler’s looks great too, though his is currently hidden under his pale blue polo shirt. The man on the door waves us in with no problem and Tyler takes my hand, leading me to the casino floor.
“What do you want to play? Poker?” he jokes, with a sexy grin that has me giving him a shove. I can feel the blush spreading across my face.
“No, thank you. You’re the expert. Lead the way, Mr. Bond,” I tease, following as he walks toward the roulette table. In navy cargo trousers and a pale blue polo shirt, he looks delicious. It’s almost a shame we had to leave the hotel. No. Stop it! You’re just finding your feet. No emotions. Just a hook up. Plus, I’m sure he is holding something back. I don’t need the drama.
“Belles?”
I startle at his voice in my ear, so lost in my own thoughts that I didn’t notice we had reached the table.
“Sorry, I was in my own world there for a second,” I say, trying to laugh it off. Turning to the table I see people placing bets, ready to watch the wheel spin. Watching the scene before me unfold, it’s easy to get caught up in it all.
After excusing himself for a moment, Tyler comes back with some chips. Smiling, he hands me a couple.
“Figured you’d feel more comfortable using my money, penny pincher,” he winks as he teases me and I roll my eyes at him. He goes first, choosing to put a chip on red 24. We watch, mesmerised, as the wheel spins. It lands on black 5 and Tyler just shrugs, “Can’t win them all. Otherwise you wouldn’t appreciate the ones you did.”
Smiling, we play a couple more games before we head out. Across the road is another casino, with slot machines and electronic games, it’s much more my style. Sitting at a machine, I feed it a note and try my luck.
“I’ll get us a drink,” Tyler says, making his way to the bar across the casino floor. I’ve never been good at slot machines and today is no different, I’m quickly out of money and with nothing to show for it. Sighing, I stand to find another machine. Spotting an Elvis Presley themed one, I smile and make my way over to it. Let’s see if the King is lucky for me.
A couple of hours later, and unsurprisingly, I’m out of money and have nothing to show for my time spent here. Deciding to call it a day, we make our way out of the casino and start to head back to the car.
“Guess you weren’t meant to win big in Monte Carlo,” I tease Tyler as we walk hand in hand through the street.
Looking over at me he smiles and squeezes my hand in his. “I don’t know, I feel like I won the jackpot right now.”
I roll my eyes at his cheesy line but that doesn’t stop my heart from skipping a couple of beats, nor the heat from making its way through my body.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Back at the hotel, I excuse myself to have a quick shower, while Tyler makes us some coffee. Walking back into the room, I see him perched on the edge of the double bed, scrolling through his phone. He looks tense and I don’t like it.
“Everything ok?” I ask, moving to the table and picking up the freshly made coffee he left for me.
“Yeah, just work crap. Nothing I can’t handle.”
He smiles, schooling his features and grabbing his own cup.
“Are you sure? You seem tense,” I say, sensing he is glossing over something and frustrated that I’ve been so open with him but he isn’t doing the same. But why should he? We haven’t known each other that long really; it’s not any of my business.
“So how was your first casino experience?” Tyler breaks me out of my thoughts and unsurprisingly changes the subject. I decide to leave it for now and focus on the fun we’ve been having.
I laugh. “Considering I lost every penny I gambled, pretty shocking I’d say.”
Chuckling, he pulls me to sit next to him. “You did good today,” he says, sipping his coffee and looking at me with a smile that makes me warm inside.
“Hardly, I lost it all,” I laugh back at him, shaking my head.
“Maybe. But you took the gamble anyway. I know that wasn’t easy for you. Letting go of control and taking a chance. But you rose above the fear and did it anyway. And didn’t you say that’s what you wanted from this trip? To forget your fears and just live.”
He’s right, I did. God, this guy gets me. Really gets me. It’s both unnerving and comforting. No one has ever understood me the way he does.
“Yeah, I guess I did,” I agree with a smile.
“Then I think you won pretty big tonight,” he grins at me and I know I’m in trouble. Just like that the last of my walls come crashing down. I lean forward and kiss him, pouring all of my gratitude into it, letting him know how much he has come to mean to me.
He pulls back much to my disappointment, but it’s just to take our mugs and put them on the table. He’s back before I can voice my displeasure and devouring me like I’m the last drop of water in the desert. He releases my lips to pull his shirt over his head and throw it on the floor. Looking at him, I grin wickedly and say, “You know what, I think I did win pretty big tonight.”
With a laugh, he pushes me down on the bed and continues what he started.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Driving on the motorway, Tyler points into the distance and I’m speechless, Yellow. So much yellow. We may not be close, but we don’t need to be to appreciate their beauty. I squeal in delight and Tyler laughs as he turns off the motorway and in search of the sunflowers.
Tuscany is stunning. Driving down back roads is frightening at the best of times, but distracted by my search for sunflowers, I’m too busy to freak out. The closer we get, the more breath-taking the view is. The vibrant colours in mass are truly a sight to behold. Tyler pulls off the road and parks out of the way so we can jump out.
Reaching for my hand, he pulls me toward the yellow maze. The flowers that represent love and happiness. That represent strength and hope.
“Come on, Belles. Let’s go exploring,” he says, smiling down at me. Smiling back, I think to myself that for the first time in a long time, I do feel strong and hopeful. Maybe there is something healing about these beautiful flowers.
Hands clasped, walking through the field in the glorious sunshine, it’s hard to find anything to bring me down. Pulling out my phone, I snap a few selfies of us with the sunflowers.
“I wish I could grow sunflowers like this in my garden. Have my own personal sunflower field. How cool would that be?” I say, thinking out loud while weaving my way around the tall beauties.
“Have you ever tried? You can probably buy giant sunflower kits online,” Tyler says, slipping his arm around my waist and leading me further into the yellow maze. I remember something and giggle.
“Gramps once ordered a plant online to finish his front garden. He’d redone it all and wanted a plant to finish it off. He thought he’d found a bargain and was really pleased with himself. Until it arrived and it was only 3 inches tall and made of plastic.” I laugh, before I continue. “He thought it had said potted plant, but it hadn’t. It had said pond plant.”
Tyler cracks up at this and we both stand in this field of flowers representing happiness, laughing like a pair of lunatics.
“Man, I wish I’d met him. He sounds like a right character,” he laughs, moving a stray strand of hair out of my face and putting it behind my ear.
“He was,” I smile up in response and lean forward to kiss him. He cups my cheek and deepens the kiss. It’s the perfect kiss in the most perfect location.
Pulling back, far too soon in my opinion, he asks, “What about your nan? What was she like?” We continue walking amongst the flowers, enjoying the sun and the view.
“Nan, she was a force to be reckoned with. She kept Gramps in check.” I laugh at that thought. They were such fun and so good for each other.
Tyler laughs too, “I bet. It takes a great woman to capture the heart of a great man. What was her name?”
“Ann. They were the perfect pair. They met when they were sixteen. Nan had another boyfriend at the time, but Gramps was smitten. He wrote letters to her. When her boyfriend found them, he broke up with her, and the rest was history.”
“Sounds like they were soulmates,” Tyler says, squeezing my hand and smiling down at me.
“They were. Married at eighteen, together their whole lives. I’ve never met a pair so perfect for each other. Nan was really into fitness. Ran half marathons for charity, was always down at her local gym. She also loved amateur dramatics. Such a drama queen.” I giggle as I think about her.
“Is that where you get it from?” he teases and I give him a playful shove.
“Not the love of fitness, that’s for sure,” I joke back. “I wouldn’t even run for a bus.”
We both laugh at that and continue walking through the endless flowers, laughing and chattering away.
“Where’s the photo?” he asks, stopping and getting his phone ready to take a picture of Gramps amongst the sunflowers. I rummage in my bag and pull it from its safe place.
Tyler wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me in close and I hold the photo up, so we can take a selfie of us all. Smiling, I take in the sight reflected back at me on the phone screen. I look happy, truly happy, and Gramps is smiling back at me.
Is this what you meant, Gramps? When you asked me to meet you here? Did you want me to meet Tyler?
Chapter Thirty
Brushing my hair, I put the kettle on to make a coffee while I wait for Tyler. He popped to the supermarket down the road to get some snacks. We decided we’re going to have a relaxing evening in the hotel tonight, some junk food, coffee, and Netflix.
Washing the teaspoon in the sink, I hear a phone vibrating. Moving back into the main room, I see Tyler’s phone beside the bed. He must have forgotten to take it with him. I ignore it and go back to making a coffee. It finally stops only to start ringing again. The third time they call I answer it, deciding that it must be important if they need him that urgently.
“Hello,” I say, down the phone, lifting my coffee to my lips and taking a sip.
“Who is this?” a woman asks in an indignant tone.
“I’m Isabelle, a friend of Tyler’s. Who is this?” The hair on the back of my neck stands on end, almost as if it knows this isn’t going to end well.
“I’m Tyler’s wife,” she spits and I feel like the world stops turning. I don’t hear what she says after that. I don’t feel the tears falling down my cheeks or feel the impact of the floor when I fall to my knees. The coffee mug hits the floor as it falls out of my hand, spilling its contents but I take no notice. Time stands still.
His wife?
Hearing the door open, I don’t even look up from packing my bag. Moving to unplug my phone from the charger and tucking it safely into my handbag.
“Sorry it took so long, it was surprisingly busy. I did find… What are you doing?” he asks, freezing by the bed when he notices I’m packing.
“What does it look like? I’m leaving,” I say, with my tone completely devoid of emotion. It’s a lie though. My emotions are overflowing inside.
“What? Why?” Tyler asks, dropping the shopping to the floor and coming closer to
me. I stop him with one hand, holding it out. Then I point to his phone on the bedside table.
“Your wife called,” I say, turning and zipping up my bag. Those words taste bitter in my mouth.
“OK.” Ok? Is he kidding me? That’s all he has to say?
“Ok? OK?! You’re married! You didn’t think that was worth mentioning? You didn’t think while we were sharing memories and stories and our dreams, that you should have mentioned that you have a wife?” I shout, livid at his lack of remorse or even a reaction. He’s given me nothing.
“It wasn’t important,” he says and I throw my head back in disbelief. Is he serious? Does he hear himself right now?
“Not important? Jesus, Tyler! I let my guard down with you. I slept with you. I trusted you!” I can feel the tears starting to fall and I wipe them away furiously, he doesn’t get to see me cry. I may have had my heart ripped from my chest, but I am a stronger person now than I was before. I won’t let him take that from me. “I shared things with you I haven’t with anyone else.”
“I know, and…”
“No. Don’t. Just don’t. I’ve got a flight booked. I’m going home.” Grabbing my bag, I take one last look around the room, making sure I picked everything up. I’m done.
“So that’s it? You’re just leaving? You’re not going to wait for my explanation, you’re just going to run?” He sounds angry and that gets my back up. I’m not the one in the wrong here. I’m not the one who was hiding another life.
“What else is there to say? Are you married?” I ask, looking him straight in the eyes.
“Yes, but…” I hold a hand up and shake my head.
