Marianna took another step into the tent. “He must be making you uncomfortable. I’ll take him now.”
“No!” The ravin’s arm tightened around Alex. “It’s my good shoulder. He just fell asleep. Leave him alone.”
“If you are not uncomfortable, then he must be. He needs to go to bed.”
“Does he look uncomfortable?” the ravin challenged. “It is you who are uncomfortable with him being here.” She nodded toward the low stool beside the pallet. “Sit down. We must talk.”
“I don’t wish to talk. We’ll wake Alex.”
“Nothing could wake him but the horn of Gabriel. He was up all of last night tending my wound. Jordan could not get him to rest. He would not be asleep now if he had not dozed off from exhaustion.” She looked at Alex, and her hand gently stroked his curls. “He does not look like you. He is dark, and you are fair.”
Marianna reluctantly moved to the stool and sat down. “He favors my mother.”
“He’s a handsome boy. She must have been beautiful.”
“Yes.”
Her attention shifted to Marianna. “You are jealous. You do not like him being here with me.”
“I’m not jealous. I know you’re ill, but he is only a child. He has no business tending—” She broke off and nodded wearily. “He is all I have. I don’t want to lose him.”
“You won’t lose him. You have given him love and performed your duty through all his life. It will bind him to you.” She smiled without mirth. “Believe me. It is a truth I know well.”
“But you chose to cut that tie with Jordan.”
“Because I was young and selfish. I had married a weak man who thought he could steal my strength. When he found I was not going to let him do it, he made my life a misery. I was a stranger and alone in that cold land. I had to escape.”
“And leave your child.”
“Do you think I wished to do it? I loved him. He was my salvation, but I could not bear it there.” She shrugged. “If I had stayed, he would have lost me anyway.”
“I cannot see that.”
“No?” Her eyes glinted. “My husband had started to beat me. I have a terrible temper, and I would not have tolerated that for very long. I would have killed him.” She smiled sardonically. “I preferred fleeing England to being hanged for murder. You, no doubt, would have stayed and meekly borne any abuse for duty’s sake.”
“No, I am not meek, and I probably would have left Cambaron as you did.” She paused. “But I would have found a way to take my child with me.”
“As I should have done,” the ravin whispered. “I’m not denying my guilt. Do you think I have not regretted it? It seemed impossible at the time, but I should have found a way.” She looked down at Alex. “But I have been punished enough for it. At first I was only happy to be back in Kazan, but then I began to think of Jordan. Every time I saw a child, I realized what I had given up.” Her finger tenderly traced the line of Alex’s brow. “I am not a monster. Even if I could, I would not steal moments like this from you.”
Marianna felt tears stinging her eyes. She did not want to feel sorry for this autocratic woman. She did not want to be drawn any deeper into Jordan’s and Ana’s lives.
The ravin continued in a low voice. “But perhaps you would permit me to borrow a few? I never had them with Jordan, and now he will not even give me understanding.”
The humbleness of the request touched her, and she deliberately hardened her heart. “Sleeping children are endearing. It’s when they’re awake that the challenge comes.”
“I could meet the challenge. If you permit me.”
Marianna stared at her, torn with indecision. The woman was asking for what she did not want to give. She needed Alex more now than at any time in her life.
But maybe Alex did not need her, she thought suddenly. It could be that during this period of healing, he needed to help heal another’s wound. Perhaps she was being selfish to him as well as the ravin. It was difficult to know what to do. No, she realized sadly, it was only difficult to admit what she should do. “I won’t have you shouting at him.”
A flicker of relief crossed the ravin’s face as she recognized her victory. “You think he minds? He is tougher than you know. We understand each other.”
Marianna experienced another wistful pang. She wished she understood this new Alex as well as the ravin did.
“You must become reacquainted,” the ravin said, as if reading her mind. She grimaced. “But I don’t suggest you be shot in order to accomplish it. It is very painful.”
Marianna smiled faintly but firmly insisted, “I won’t have you shouting at him.”
The ravin made a face. “Oh, very well. I will try to curb my tongue. Though it is not my nature.”
“I agree.” Marianna rose to her feet. “I will let you sleep now. Do you wish for any help with your wound?”
The ravin shook her head. “You’re not going to wake the boy?”
“No. He appears comfortable enough for the night.” She moved toward the entrance. “Tell him I will see him in the morning.”
“Wait.”
Marianna looked back over her shoulder.
“I thank you,” the ravin said haltingly. “I know you are not happy about this.”
“No. I’m angry and hurt and, yes, jealous.” She smiled without mirth. “And, like you, I want my own way.”
“Then why are you doing it?”
“Alex. You may be better for him right now than I am.” She paused. “And when you have the responsibility of a child, you must always do what’s best for him, not yourself.”
The ravin flinched. “That was a cruel jab.”
“Yes, I wanted to hurt you.” She shrugged. “I thought it would make me feel better.”
“Did it?”
“No.”
She went outside and stopped to draw a deep breath of cold air. She wanted to go back and snatch Alex up in her arms and run away with him. In many ways this was worse than the night Costain had taken her brother. Affection could be a dangerous enemy, and the ravin had stored up years of love to lavish on a child. And there was the added bond of shared danger between them.
She would not go back. She had made the choice. At least she would not have to worry about Alex while she fulfilled her promise to Mama.
And the sooner she fulfilled it, the better. Now that there was nothing to keep her here, it was time to make plans to leave.
The horses were being sheltered a quarter-mile away from camp, where the grass was abundant enough for grazing. Gregor had assigned only two men to guard them. With so many horses to watch, it should not be difficult for her to avoid detection and slip her own mare away from the others.
She glanced across the camp at the shadowy shape of the wagon containing the panels. It was located near one of the large tents, possibly Gregor’s or Jordan’s. No guards were in sight, but Jordan was too clever to leave the Jedalar unwatched. He knew her very well and would be prepared for her to make an attempt.
It would not be easy, she thought wearily.
But difficult or not, it must be done.
Jordan strode into her tent the next morning. “Where is it?” he demanded.
She whirled to face him, then flinched as she saw his expression. “Where is what?”
“For God’s sake don’t pretend ignorance. I know it has to be somewhere in your tent. You were seen last night.”
“You mean you had me watched?” She moistened her lips. “Then your spy must have told you I went to the ravin’s tent to see Alex.”
“And immediately afterward you went to the wagon and took something from it.”
“Did I?”
“You know you did. Where’s the Jedalar, Marianna?”
She glared at him defiantly. “I don’t know what you mean.”
He grabbed her shoulders. “Tell me.”
“Why should I? So that you can steal it from me as your mother stole Alex?”
“I’m not res
ponsible for what the ravin does or says. No one has stolen Alex from you. What the hell happened in that tent last night? Is that what this is all about?”
Her jaw set, and she did not answer him.
He drew a deep breath and tried to control himself. “Dammit, why didn’t you wait? I was going to talk to you about the Jedalar. Why did you have to do this now?”
“We’ve talked about it before. We don’t agree.”
“Thousands of people could die if Napoleon gets that map.” When her expression didn’t change, he went on. “I’ve seen you talking to Niko. Do you like him?”
“Of course I like him.”
“Did you know his family lives near the Russian border? They would be the first to be slaughtered. You’ve seen what Nebrov’s army did to the towns in Montavia. Do you want to see that happen here?”
“Napoleon won’t find the tunnel. None of you will find the tunnel.”
“Gregor says that Nebrov knows about something called the Zavkov. If you don’t help us, he may find the tunnel.”
“He can’t find it without the panel.”
“And, by God, he’s not going to lay his hands on it.” Jordan’s expression hardened. “Because you’re going to give it to me.”
“I am not. The panel is mine, and I won’t— Put me down!”
He was carrying her out of the tent. “I didn’t want to do this.” Still retaining an iron hold on her arms, he set her down before Gregor. “Search the tent.”
Gregor shook his head sadly and disappeared inside.
“No!” She started to struggle, her gaze fixed desperately on the entrance of the tent. “Let me go.”
“Stop fighting me. Do you think I like doing this? Goddammit, you forced me.”
“I didn’t force you. I only took what was mine.” She butted her head against his chest. “I won’t let you do it.”
He pinned her arms to her sides and held her immobile. “Marianna, don’t …” His voice was thick with pain as he looked down at her. “Don’t you see? I’ve got to take it.”
She suddenly stopped fighting. “Please …” She looked up at him with glistening eyes. She had to make him understand. “My promise. I have to keep my promise.”
“I found it,” Gregor said from behind her. “She cut a slit in her sheepskin pallet and slipped the panel inside.”
They had found the panel. It was over.
Through a veil of tears she watched Jordan examine the panel. It was a complicated work depicting a bed of yellow flowers at the apex of the panel where three winding streams joined paths. “Daffodils,” he said. “I should have known.…”
He remembered the story she had told him of the first panel she had made. So many memories, so many ties, and now all to be forgotten, broken.
“I’m sorry, Marianna,” Then he burst out violently, “No, by God, I’m not sorry. I’m glad this damn battle is over. Now, forget about it. Let me worry about the tunnel and Nebrov.”
“I can’t forget about it,” she said. “I’ll never be able to forget about it. I promised my mother, and you’re making me break my word.” She blinked and quickly lowered her eyes to the ground. “You’ve got what you wanted. May I go back into my tent?” Her voice shook. “I don’t want to look or talk to either of you for a very long time.”
He nodded curtly. “Go on.”
She walked heavily into the tent and closed the flap.
It was over.
• • •
You’ll have to ask her about this Zavkov,” Gregor said.
“I’ll talk to her after supper. She’s had enough defeats for one day.”
“Yes, she took it very badly.” Gregor looked down at the panel. “Do you think these three streams are branches of the tunnel?”
“I don’t know.” And at the moment he didn’t care. All he could see was Marianna’s drained face in that moment before she had gone into the tent. He thrust the panel at Gregor. “Study it and see if you can make any sense of it. I don’t have the stomach to look at it right now.”
“This is only half the answer to the puzzle. What if she won’t tell us about the Zavkov?”
“I hope she doesn’t. Then I’ll have an excuse for going after Nebrov now instead of later.” He smiled savagely. “Extracting information from that bastard will bring me infinite delight.”
The sun was setting when Jordan strode into the ravin’s tent. He glanced at Alex, who was sitting by his mother’s pallet. “Run along to your sister. She needs you.”
“Marianna?” Alex frowned. “Why?”
“Just go to her.”
Alex looked uncertainly at the ravin. “Will you be able to do without me?”
Ana nodded, her gaze on Jordan’s face. “I will be fine.” She added with irony, “I have my son here to care for me.”
Alex ran out of the tent.
“You’re angry with me,” the ravin said. “I admit I’m puzzled. It’s difficult to commit any heinous acts while lying flat on one’s back.”
“I’m not angry.” He paused. “Marianna needs to have the boy with her. I know you’re ill, but from now on I want you to do without him.”
“Marianna asked you to intercede?” the ravin asked slowly. “Why didn’t she come to me herself?”
“She didn’t ask me. She just said …” Jordan stopped. “Last night after she left you, she took the Jedalar from the wagon and hid it in her tent. This morning I took it away from her.”
“And now you’re filled with guilt and want to give her everything in your power to take away the pain.” She smiled faintly. “We are very much alike. I had a similar reaction quite recently.”
“We’re not alike,” he said. “I don’t run away and leave the people who belong to me.”
She stiffened. “Ah, at last it’s out in the open. No, you run away before they belong to you. That way you never have to risk them leaving you.” She shook her head. “But it doesn’t help, does it? There are always those who slip under your guard. I think this belka did.”
“Keep the boy away. You don’t need him.”
“Keep him away yourself. Do you think I’m chaining him?”
“Yes, it’s what you do to all of us.”
Her eyes widened. “What?”
“You keep us all chained to you. Ask Gregor. He’s been at your beck and call since you were children.”
“We’re not talking about Gregor. You said us. You?”
He was silent a moment and then said slowly, “From the time I was a child, they told me I was like you. I thought about you a good deal when I was growing up. I had precious little in common with my dear father.” He smiled crookedly. “Did you know that for a while I actually hated him because I blamed him for driving you to your death?”
“No, I didn’t know that.”
“It was quite a shock when I found that I had blamed him unjustly. I felt cheated and foolish, and I thought I hated you as much as I did my father. I fought Gregor about coming here, but he made me come anyway.”
“I told him to make you come.”
“Then I met you, and you were exactly what I imagined you to be. All the force and fire and strength. I’m sure you’ll feel very triumphant to know it was you who drew me back here until I came to love Kazan.”
She started to raise a hand as if to reach out to him, but then let it drop when she saw the hardness of his expression. “You didn’t want to tell me this. Why did you?”
“Because I know that you’ve always wanted it from me. Now I’ve given it to you. You don’t need another captive at your chariot wheels. Release the boy and give him back to Marianna.”
“Christ, you do think I’m—” She closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them. Her voice was trembling when she spoke. “Marianna knows that she could take the boy, if she wanted to. She chose not to do so.”
“I don’t believe you. She said you had stolen him.”
“Then she had her own reasons for telling an untruth. I wish you woul
d go away and discover them. I believe I’m very tired.”
She was pale and drawn, and for the first time since he had met her he became aware that she was no longer a young woman. He had been filled with frustration that he had been forced to come and bargain with her, and he had deliberately tried to hurt her. She had such strength, he had not thought he would succeed to this extent. “If I’ve been mistaken, I apologize,” he said. “Marianna was upset. Perhaps she said things that—”
“I cannot find Marianna,” Alex said from the entrance to the tent. “Did she go for a ride?”
Jordan stiffened. “She’s not in the camp?”
Alex shook his head.
Jordan turned and moved quickly toward him. “Go find Gregor and tell him to meet me at Marianna’s tent.”
“Her own reasons,” the ravin repeated from behind him. “Gregor said she was not the usual sort of woman. Poor Jordan, and that painful confession for nothing. You put her in a cage, and she refuses to stay there. I’d wager your belka has flown our auspices.”
“And left Alex? There’s only one thing that would have made her do that.”
“Ah, the tunnel. But you said you had the Jedalar.”
“That’s what she wanted me to think. Christ, she played me for a fool.”
He strode out of the tent.
Gregor was waiting for him when he reached Marianna’s tent. “She is not here. There is a slit in the back where she must have slipped out.”
“Is her horse gone?”
“I have not had time to question the guard. I would assume it is.” He paused. “I did go to the wagon and counted the panels. Three are missing.”
“The one Nebrov destroyed, one to practice her little trick on us, and the real Jedalar. She must have taken two panels from the wagon last night and hidden one outside the tent.”
“And is now on her way with the real Jedalar to get this Zavkov.” Gregor gave a low whistle. “You have to admire the dove. It was well done.”
“I don’t have to admire her,” Jordan said through his teeth. “I want to throttle her.” He turned away from the tent. “Get Niko and at least twenty men. One of them has to be a good tracker.”
The Beloved Scoundrel Page 29
