Chapter Thirteen
Charly stopped at the yellow light heading out of Georgetown. The last day of school was a long time coming. Her mental list of things to pick up rattled through her mind, along with the to-do list that she had completed for closing day. Her room was inventoried, her desk cleared, and it was ready for next year’s students.
Thankful didn’t begin to cover what Charly felt. She was blessed, and she knew it. A great house, a great family, amazing best friend, and Rance. Where did he fit in? She wasn’t sure yet, but the more time they spent together, the more she felt comfortable with him. He seemed to enjoy her company, too.
Moving in to the pink beach house took little more than an afternoon. Now all she and Lydia had to do was tweak and organize, and they would be done.
Done in time for summer classes to start and the wedding season to start. She sighed. She was so close to getting her master’s degree she could taste it, but it would be so nice to have a summer off for a change. She went from graduating to starting her master’s last summer and took classes during the school year as well. Three more classes and she’d be done. This time next year . . . wow. The quicker she finished, the more time she could give to her mom and living her life.
When she crossed the rivers into the Pawley’s Island zip code, she smiled and waved at this and that acquaintance, her mind racing the whole time. It had been a busy week.
Maybe that’s why she’d had this little knot of anxiety in the pit of her stomach. Everything was going well. Nevertheless, she felt a little empty inside. But why? She was getting things done according to plan, her family was well and healthy, and she was dating a great guy. What was the big deal?
She hadn’t spent much time with her Bible lately. God understood. Didn’t He? Her prayers were more off-the-cuff while driving than getting into the Scripture and then listening to what God had to say about it.
What was it Paul had said? In Romans? Oh yeah. It was something about the things I know are right, I don’t do, but the things I don’t want to do, wrong things, these things I do. So confusing. It wasn’t as if she were doing anything wrong. She was doing all the right things. Wasn’t she?
What day was it? Wednesday. She heaved a deep sigh. Church night. She had hoped to have an evening, especially this first evening of school being done, to continue settling in. In the summer months, Lydia worked at the shop until seven on Wednesday evenings. Rance was working the night shift, so she knew he wouldn’t call. Mom would want to go to prayer meeting. No choir for the summer, so forty-five minutes of prayer and the usual “organ recital.” That is, everyone sharing the latest in physical maladies for themselves or their loved ones or anyone else they may have met once.
She would go. It would disappoint her mom if she didn’t. Her phone buzzed on the seat next to her. She glanced over to see “Rance” on the ID.
She pushed the Bluetooth button on her steering wheel to connect to her phone and answered. “Hey!”
“Hey, yourself. Are you driving?”
“Yes, speaking to you hands-free, so we won’t get pulled over.”
He chuckled. “I thought it sounded like speaker. I won’t keep you. Looks as though I’m free tonight. Want to grab a bite? I could help you move furniture around if you need me.”
She laughed and then sighed. “Sorry, I’m tied up with church tonight. Prayer meeting is at six, and I take Mom.”
There was a moment of silence on the phone. “Hmmm. Okay. Mind if I tag along? We could get something to eat afterward?”
“Are you sure? I mean, it’s not a regular service or anything.”
“Hey, I’m at loose ends this evening. I got a great nap this afternoon, and I’m raring to do something. Anything is better than sitting around here or studying for the licensing exam.”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it. How about I meet you at the church. Calvary?”
“Yes. I’ll try to beat six and get there ahead of you.”
“Is that unusual? Being early?” His teasing tone made her smile.
“Very funny. Sometimes, yes. It happens when I’ve had a busy day, week, and year. You get the idea?”
“I do. Last day of school?”
“Yes, and I’m so relieved I can’t stand it. My summer classes don’t start until next week, so I have a week to get settled in.” She sighed again.
“You need a break, young lady.”
“Thank you, I didn’t realize.” Her sarcastic quip came out before she had time to rein it in. “Sorry. I think your saying that is kind of a takes-one-to-know-one remark.”
“Very true. We’re a little alike in that respect.”
“Hey, I’m at home. See you at six?”
“See you at six. Go in and put your feet up for a little bit.”
“You, too, Dr. Butler.”
She ended the call, listening to his laughter as he hung up.
As of now, the evening looked a lot brighter.
“I wondered why you wanted to get here early for a change.” Her mother laughed when Charly told her that Rance was meeting them at the church.
She huffed. “I’m early sometimes.”
“Not in recent days which makes me late as well.” It was obvious her mother was trying to reprimand her daughter without embarrassing her. “Not that I’m complaining. Tom doesn’t have room for me in their vehicle with all those car seats.”
“That’s true. I don’t mind a bit coming to get you. It’s not that far out of my way. I’ll try to do better.” She sighed as she turned in the drive of Calvary Church. “I’ve been really tired lately.”
“How come? Something bothering you?”
There goes Mom’s antenna again. “No, end of the year stuff, and classes starting next week, and moving. The usual.” She laughed, hoping to throw her mother off the scent. “Did I tell you I’m going to be working for Lucy and Emma part-time, while Lucy’s on maternity leave?”
“Are you sure you have time? You do know that you don’t have to get your master’s done all at once, don’t you? You have three more years to finish it.”
“I’ll be fine. I know I have plenty of time. I want it done.”
“I think you’re pushing yourself too hard. You always have. Between making close to a 4.0 in college and watching over me like a hawk and now having a full-time job and a part-time one, you haven’t left enough margins in your life.”
“I learned it from the best, you know.”
“I often wish I had slowed down a little bit while I could and enjoyed life more when I was younger. Now I have no choice.”
Charly’s heart dipped. The last thing she wanted was for her mother to worry about her. But if she didn’t talk to her mother, who would she talk to? Except for Lydia, she had lost that close contact with friends that she had before everything changed and her mother went blind. When that happened, Tom was working, doing the same thing she was, which was spending all her time working or planning to work. She didn’t want to be thirty and still single, and for some reason she felt as though she had to hurry and get it all done, just in case.
Just in case what?
She put the car in park and turned to face her mother. “I’ll be fine, Mom. Don’t worry about me. Hey, at least I’m dating. When Tom was my age, he still lived at home.”
“That’s true. So Rance is meeting us here?”
“Yes, and there he is now. See? We’re not that early.”
“I didn’t want to have the preacher faint on us.” Her mom’s laugh tinkled across the parking lot, making Rance smile as he walked to them.
“Good evening, Mrs. Livingston, Charly.”
Mary Ann extended her hand to him. “How are you, Dr. Butler? Welcome to Calvary Church.”
“Thank you, ma’am.” He turned to Charly. “Did you get to put your feet up?”
She rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. “What is this, worry-about-Charly day? And yes, I put my feet up whil
e I scrolled through Facebook and checked my email. How’s that for recreation?”
Her mom spoke up. “A little sad, if you ask me.”
Rance laughed out loud. “You took the words right out of my mouth.” He squeezed her mother’s hand. “Somebody has to keep her in line.”
“We’ll make a pact to make sure she has fun this summer. How’s that?”
Charly looked at the clock on her phone and shook her head in disgust. “Excuse me, I’m standing right here, and it’s time to go in, or we’ll be late as usual.”
Rance twisted his lips in a mischievous grin. “Yes, ma’am.” He held his hand out to them as they approached the door. “Ladies first.”
This was different. Rance hadn’t been nervous about his first visit to Calvary Church, but he wasn’t expecting a group of twenty-odd people, all of whom turned to look at them as they walked in.
He saw Sarah at the piano, playing a soft hymn melody, and Jared stood and shook his hand as they passed him in the aisle.
They took their seat and were asked to stand and sing a hymn. At least it was a familiar one. Who hadn’t heard “Amazing Grace” at least once in their lives? Elvis even sang it in his concerts.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
Not considering himself a singer, he accepted his side of the hymnal Charly offered but did not sing. He smiled at her and read along as she sang.
’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.
He had a vague recollection of hearing the song when attending church with his grandparents. A pang hit him when he realized they weren’t his grandparents.
Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my Shield and Portion be,
As long as life endures.
The verses continued. The last one. Was this true? Did God promise good to him? He expected good out of life, if he worked hard enough for it. This seemed to be his dad’s philosophy. And what had Clifton Watson said? “God’s in control, if we let Him.”
When we’ve been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Than when we’d first begun.
No less days than when we’d first begun. Infinity. Eternity. It wasn’t something he spent much time pondering. Science had never done a good job explaining it, and he figured it was off in the future, so why worry?
Emma closed her eyes as the next verse seemed to wash over her.
The Lord has promised good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my Shield and Portion be
As long as life endures.
The Lord was her shield and portion. He promised good. He promised hope. She opened her eyes and looked over at Sophie, sitting with her friends in the “amen corner” where the youth seemed to congregate. She caught her eye, and Sophie winked.
She sat there, alone. Was she lonely? Sometimes. Sometimes it would be nice to have a man around to reach high shelves, to crack a silly joke, or, if she were honest, to hold her.
Where was this coming from? She held an infant, and all of the sudden she wanted the last fifteen years back?
No, God’s amazing grace had buoyed her from the beginning. When Daniel was gone, it had been herself and Sophie. Both sets of parents helped as much as they could, but they had trials of their own. She had leaned on God. It never occurred to her, until now, that God’s “good” for her might include personal happiness and fulfillment as well. Maybe someone needs a helpmeet they haven’t found yet. Maybe she needs support she doesn’t yet know about. And Sophie? What did she need?
“God, if You want me to dip my toes back into the dating pool, You’re going to have to give me a clear sign. I’m not putting a time limit on it, but I’ll be available for what You want, not what I want. Otherwise, I’m happy the way things are.”
Are you?
Was that her own mind, or was it one of those God-whispers?
Charly was surprised when the pastor, Bro. Bill Macintosh, stood and had Ben, the song leader, hand out a half-sheet of paper.
“I know this is unusual for our Wednesday night prayer time, but rather than go through taking prayer requests, I’ve printed up the prayer list for you. If there are any additions, let me know after the service, and we can add them. I wanted to have a little more time tonight for our devotion.”
No organ recital? She felt a giggle bubble up and glanced over at Rance to see him raising an eyebrow at her. She shook her head and whispered, “Later.”
After several called out additions to the hospital and prayer list, Bro. Bill opened his Bible and placed it next to his hymnal. “Tonight I want to talk about grace. I asked Ben to sing ‘Amazing Grace’ to get us kicked off and wanted to take one hymn verse at a time, looking at what the hymn writer was talking about when he talks about this amazing grace we have through Jesus Christ, our Lord. I’ll be expecting participation from the congregation, as well.”
He looked over his glasses at the people in the pews and grinned, garnering a few chuckles.
She had heard this hymn all her life. She’d watched a movie about it. She had done sign language to it. What more could she learn about “Amazing Grace?”
Her sigh garnered a poke in the ribs from her mother, so she set her lips in place to sit through the message, planning instead to complete a mental to-do list. The first verse irritated her anyway. The last line, “was blind, but now I see” seemed to rub in her mother’s blindness. If God was so gracious, why did He take her mother’s sight? And was nobody else angry about that little fact?
She found herself stewing, wondering at the anger she was feeling. She glanced over at her mother. She was smiling and nodding affirmation. How could she sit and take this? Grace hadn’t brought her mother “safe thus far.” She was blind, she was a widow. And where was the “promised good?”
She felt Rance shift in his seat. Was he uncomfortable? Was this too much for a first-timer? She glanced over at him, struck by the intensity of his gaze on the pastor. A nudge of guilt wafted through her soul. She didn’t know what was going on in his heart, and what hit her was that she hadn’t asked.
An infant’s hiccup caught her attention. Jared was bouncing baby Beau on his shoulder, and tears filled her eyes. Jared and Sarah looked as if they had the perfect life. Money was no object, they had a good marriage, and all their parents were still alive, but they had suffered their trials as well. Jared was critically injured in the hurricane the year they got married. The stillbirth of their first child a few years later was devastating. Beau was part of their healing. God’s grace had brought them through. It was nothing they did. It was all God.
She closed her eyes. Thank You, God. And forgive me, God. Help me to be better. Help me to trust more. Help me to depend on You and not myself. It’s not easy, and I’m still a little angry. Help me to not be angry. Please?
She looked up as the pastor was wrapping up.
Bro. Bill looked over at Ben. “Brother Ben, could we sing the last verse of ‘Amazing Grace’ without any music?” He waved at Sarah as she began to rise. “Keep your seat, Sarah. I want us to listen as we sing. When we’ve been there ten thousand years.” He paused. “Ten thousand years. Sounds like a vast amount of time, doesn’t it?”
Nods and amens from all around made Charly smile.
“And to think, after ten thousand years, we’ll still have that many more years, and more, and more. God’s grace is what gives us eternity to praise. Am
en? Let’s sing, considering this our prayer, and then you’ll be dismissed.”
The congregation rose to sing the last stanza. The voices were beautiful, the message more so.
Chapter Fourteen
“Do you want to grab something to eat? I’d love to treat you both.” Rance held the door for Charly and Mary Ann as they exited the church, his hand resting on the small of Charly’s back.
“You two kids go ahead. This old lady needs to get home and into her pj’s.” Mary Ann laughed.
Rance lifted his eyebrows and looked around. “I don’t see any old ladies around here, do you?”
Charly laughed. “I do not.”
“Well, thank you for the invitation, but, Charlotte, if you’ll drop me off by home, I’ll take a rain check.”
“Then I insist on escorting you to the car.” Rance took her hand and placed it on his arm. “And I plan on honoring your rain check.”
Mary Ann inclined her head and bestowed a smile that looked for all the world like Charly’s. Easy, loving, genuine. “Thank you kindly.”
He looked over at Charly. “Want to meet at your house? Then we could decide what to do?”
She tilted her head. “Sounds good. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
“Make it twenty and drive safely.”
“If you want to go in, there’s a key under the pot of geraniums on the porch.” She laughed when he shook his head. “I know. Original, huh?”
“I’ll be waiting for you.”
“Thanks, Rance.”
He caught her gaze again before he swung down into his car. She looked tired and a little emotional. Maybe a walk on the beach instead of a round of putt-putt golf? Maybe a little fried chicken? That would do it. Drive-thru chicken and a walk on the beach. It would be good for both of them.
Carolina Grace (Southern Breeze Series Book 3) Page 9
