His father looked from her to Ivo, his expression astonished but then fading to what almost looked like sadness. ‘I’ll look forward to listening to the interview in that case. Maybe I’ll learn something.’
Ivo frowned. ‘You’ll listen to it?’
‘Of course I will.’
Ivo worked his jaw, looked down at Gabriela, who was staring up at him with rapt attention, and said, ‘We still have material to record.’ He held his father’s gaze for a long, steady beat. ‘Given that the purpose of the podcast is to raise mental health awareness, it’s my intention to speak about Mother and the impact her death had on me.’
The air around them seemed to evaporate, a tight tension replacing it.
‘That’s private family business.’ Ivo went to say something but his father waved away his interjection. ‘But... I understand why you would want to.’ Looking down towards Gabriela, he added, ‘It’s time we dealt with some of the past.’ Shifting his attention towards her, Ivo’s father added, ‘I may not have always taken the correct decisions when it came to family matters and my children possibly paid the price.’
With that Ivo’s father stood and walked away from them.
Ivo stared after him, his expression furious.
And then he stared at her, his expression darkening even further. She had done nothing wrong. Why, then, did he look as though he’d happily lock her in the dungeons beneath the palace and throw away the key?
* * *
‘Care to tell me what’s eating you up?’
Ivo gritted his teeth and pushed even harder down on the accelerator. Minutes passed, words bubbling inside of him, some words years old, others more recent. He gripped the steering wheel tight, pulling the car around corners.
Everything was changing. And he didn’t know how to react. He prided himself on being cool and detached, thinking things through logically and burying anything he didn’t want to confront. But all of a sudden he was feeling emotions that weren’t part of him. Mostly anger.
‘Can you slow down, please?’
He inhaled a breath and, though he wanted to press the accelerator even harder he eased back. ‘I wasn’t driving fast.’
Even to his own ears he knew he was being unreasonable, but he felt an unnerving need to be defensive and cranky...and to push Toni away.
‘Why don’t you let me drive?’
He let out an exasperated breath. ‘No.’
‘You’re obviously upset about something.’
‘I’m not upset.’ He swallowed hard, aiming to say no more, but Toni’s hand as it came to rest on his seat beside his thigh, the solidarity of the gesture, made him realise that he was bone-tired of leading a life of silence, of constantly keeping his emotions in check.
‘I’m an outsider. I’m an outsider in every part of my life.’ He paused, his words taking him by surprise. And yet he could not manage to contain them. Instead they spilled out of him like blood gushing from a wound. ‘It feels at times that I’m standing outside my own life and observing it from a distance. How can I be so detached, even from myself?’
He let out another angry breath, frustrated with himself. Why was he telling her all of this?
‘Has it always felt that way?’
What was the point in this conversation—what could answering her question achieve? Her hand moved closer, the warmth of her fingers touching his thigh. In response, the need to explain himself shunted his default setting of silence right out of the picture. ‘Before my mother died, I didn’t feel that way...at least, I don’t think so. It was such a long time ago. After she died I didn’t know who to turn to, who to trust, and it felt safer to withdraw and rely only on myself.’
‘You didn’t feel safe with your father and brothers?’
‘They had their own stuff to deal with.’ How could he explain the suffocating guilt he had felt after his mother’s death? Why he hadn’t wanted to be a burden to anyone? How he had been terrified of crying in front of the thousands who had lined the streets for her funeral? Displays of such emotion would have horrified his family. And worse still he would have been letting his mother down by indulging in his own emotions instead of respectfully maintaining a dignified bearing.
‘It must have been a very lonely time for you.’
He shrugged, a heavy weight forming in his chest, remembering the days when he couldn’t bring himself to leave his bedroom, watching his family come and go from the palace, desperately wishing someone would come and sit with him. But instead his father would send an aide to try and persuade him out of his room.
‘Maybe, given what your father said earlier, you can now work on your relationship with him.’
‘Perhaps.’
‘Why are you so afraid to talk, to express what you need and want from others?’
He was thrown not only by what she said, but also by the soft emotion in her voice, and his cranky side reared its head again. ‘Maybe because I don’t want to.’
She waited until he had negotiated around a group of cyclists before she replied, ‘I get that you are an intensely private person, but you need some connections in life, safe connections. You need to learn to trust people, know that they won’t intentionally hurt you.’
He flicked a glance in her direction. ‘Can I trust you?’
She blinked at his question and he cursed silently at her disappointed expression. ‘I’d have hoped you’d know the answer to that already, without needing to ask me...but yes, you can trust me.’ She inhaled a long, deep breath. ‘But it’s with the key people in your life, your family, that you need to open up. I know it’s not going to be easy and that there’s a lot of complicated history there, but I saw it in you tonight... I know that you want to be a part of your family. Maybe you’re all in the right emotional place now for things to change.’
They were approaching the gates to San Jorbo. His anger had now turned to frustration. ‘I wouldn’t even know where to start.’
Not waiting to exchange some words with the security team at the gate as he usually would do, he drove straight through.
Toni twisted in her seat so that she was looking directly at him. ‘Spend time with them. Invite your father here. Visit Gabriela. You’re so natural and comfortable with her. A new generation can mean a new start for you all. Things can change, people can change.’
‘Even me?’
‘If you want to, you can. I guess it’s down to what you actually want in life. Do you want to be part of your family and all of the positives and negatives that come with that? Or are you happier being alone, reliant only on yourself?’
He glanced at her and asked, ‘Couldn’t I be asking you the same questions?’
She shrugged. ‘I have my mum and my friends.’
Pulling the car to a stop at the finca, he asked, ‘And that’s enough for you?’
‘For now, yes, it is.’ Reaching down to pick up her handbag from the footwell, she grimaced and on a sigh said, ‘Can I be frank, just so that we are both straight on all of this?’ She waved a hand to emphasise she was talking about what was going on between them. ‘Even if I was looking to be in a relationship, you would be the last person I would want to date. Yes, you have a long list of incredible attributes—you’re hot, successful, intelligent, et cetera, et cetera... But you’re too complicated, too deep for me. You’d drive me nuts with your silences. I need someone who’s upfront, who wears his heart on his sleeve. I’d be an emotional mess around you, I’d never know what you were really thinking, and quite frankly you’d exhaust me.’
How was he supposed to respond? Should he be pleased, insulted, relieved? Instead he went with puzzled. ‘Why are you telling me this?’
‘So that we both know where we stand.’
‘Stand?’
‘With us sleeping together... Why did you pull away down at the beach earlier?’
&n
bsp; Irritated that she was so easily dismissing him as nothing more than a passing fling, he answered, ‘Based on what happened last night, I wasn’t sure we’d make Gabriela’s christening in time if we continued...but I’m happy to make amends now.’
* * *
Oh, crikey. What had she started? Ivo looked seriously hacked off...and ready to pounce. She leapt out of the car, her heart hammering. She bolted for the front door and had to wait for Ivo to unfurl himself from the car, stretch as though he had all the time in the world and eventually saunter towards her, his expression giving zero away.
Her heart was now a loud drum in her chest, her breathing so shallow she was growing increasingly light-headed.
He came to a stop before her and considered her. She tried to keep up her pretence of nonchalance but with her head thrown back to meet his intense silver gaze, her body alive to every perfect detail of his formidable body, his silence truly unnerving, she had the ridiculous urge to run.
The next thing she knew, she was lying firefighter’s-lift-style on his shoulder, and he was carrying her down the path towards the beach, jettisoning her sandals in the process. ‘What are you doing?’
‘I think we could both do with cooling off.’
Down at the beach he carried her to the waterfront, where he dropped her onto the golden sand. Without a word he twisted her around, to face the lights of Laredo, the thrum of far-off music and the break of waves the only sounds. He drew down the zip of her dress. She gasped as he twisted her hair away to kiss and caress her neck, his hands slowly running the length of her spine.
He pushed her dress down to the waist, his hand circling over her stomach, hugging her to his body, while his mouth continued its tender assault.
She arched into him as his hands captured her breasts, his thumbs skimming over the lace edges of her bra. His mouth moved to her earlobe, gently biting as he lowered her dress to the sand.
She inhaled a shaky breath. ‘Will we be seen?’
He gave a teasing chuckle. ‘It’s much too dark. Are you having second thoughts?’
She gasped when his teeth bit down on her earlobe again, an erotic thrill almost cutting her in two. He didn’t wait for her to answer but instead turned her around to face him, unbuttoning his shirt, flinging it to the ground, his shoes and trousers soon following. His white trunks were moulded to his body like a second skin.
He dropped to his knees. She stumbled backwards but he grabbed her by the hips and eased her back towards him, his lips touching her belly. He moved across her skin with a painful, reverential slowness, her heart giving way to a tenderness, a wash of affection overwhelming her. He eased the band of her panties down an inch, his lips grazing over her hips.
She dropped to her knees and her hands roamed over the warm solidness of his chest, down over the steel strength of his stomach.
She parted her lips, wanting his lips on hers. Wanting him to take the lead. His hands cradled her head and his mouth found hers, the kiss light and teasing, his teeth nipping against her bottom lip, building up the tension pitch perfectly.
On her moan he gave her what she wanted. A full-on, deep and penetrating kiss, his mouth controlling hers, the pressure and passion a prequel to what was to come.
When he pulled away, breathing deeply, he stood, pulling her up too, his gaze raking over her body. ‘Strip for me.’
She hesitated but his passion, his long, appreciative gaze on her breasts, on her hips, had her reach around and unclip her bra. She edged the straps over her shoulders, drew the fabric down inch by inch, her nipples hardening at the night air and Ivo’s rumbling exhale of approval.
* * *
He cupped her breast in his hand, desire throbbing through his body at its firmness. His thumb passed over the tight bud of her nipple, smiling as she gasped.
He wanted to take her now. Push her down onto the sand, whip off her panties, which he hadn’t given her the chance to remove, blown away by the sight of her gorgeous breasts. He had never desired someone so wholly.
‘Are you okay with all of this?’
She pulled back. ‘Why...aren’t you?’
‘I want to make sure that you are happy to continue.’
She let out a shaky laugh. ‘I never thought I’d say this to you, but can we stop talking?’
He lowered his head with a chuckle, drew her breast into his mouth and sucked, the clasp of her hands on his head, her gasps for air confirming that the carnal pulses of pleasure pounding through him in tasting her, in having her nipple pressed against the tip of his tongue, weren’t one-sided. He sucked deeper, a ravenous desire that was different to anything he had ever experienced making him lost to everything but the wonder of worshipping her body.
But after a while he reluctantly broke away, wanting her to know him, wanting her to know that all of this was not the norm for him...that this was different. Struggling to breathe, he panted out against her skin as he trailed kisses over her collarbone, ‘I’ve always held a fantasy of having sex on this beach, but up until now I hadn’t met someone I actually wanted to do it with.’
She gave a soft laugh. ‘Should I take that as a compliment?’
‘Yes, you should.’ He paused, trying to find the right words for what he was trying to express. ‘This is different for me...this is not the norm. I want you to know that.’
Dio! Did any of that make sense?
Clearly not, given her puzzled silence. He drew in a breath. ‘With you...the need to be with you is different...it’s real and raw and essential.’ Pausing, he added, ‘I hope this is making sense to you.’
Nodding as though it made perfect sense, she whispered, ‘It does.’
His heart turned over and he kissed her again, this time with all of the tenderness and care he could muster.
And then he stood and led her into the sea, keeping hold of her hand as they waded through the tepid water until it was at his chest level. Wrapping her legs around his waist, he kissed her, the taste of her mouth and the salty water mingling, her breasts pressed against his chest. He deepened the kiss and she squirmed against his stomach, tightening her legs around his waist.
Still kissing her, he eased her legs down, his hands caressing her bottom, moving between her legs. She bucked hard against his fingers, groaning into his mouth. She pulled away, dragging him to shallower water, and once there she kissed him hard and swiftly before her hands edged down to his briefs.
He kissed her again, needing the warmth of her mouth, the sweet taste of her skin, every inch of him wanting her. His hand went to her hips, pushing down her panties, removing them, before he pulled her back against him, lifting her off her feet so that his arousal pushed into the hard bone of her pelvis, both of them rocking in unison, desperate for release as they exchanged brief, tempestuous kisses, both of them too short of breath, too desperate for anything longer.
‘I should take you to the finca.’
She shook her head. ‘No, I want to be your fantasy. I want to do it here...where it’s raw and real...and beautiful.’
On a groan he left her for a few seconds while he found protection in his wallet and sheathed himself. Back in the water he carried her out into deeper water. She gasped when he pushed forward, her head falling against his shoulder when he eased all his length into her. Her body countered his movements, her kisses ever more passionate and desperate. He clasped her bottom, lost to the push of her nipples against his skin, their soft femininity, the endless curves of her entire body.
Her movements grew ever more frantic, driving him down a narrow tunnel of bittersweet hunger for fulfilment, but he clung to the desire to stay at this edge for ever.
She pulled back, her eyes glazed, her lips parting. She made a tiny noise.
Dio! She was beautiful.
His climax edged ever closer.
She let out another sound. One of pure wonder. A
nd then, her head tipping backwards, her back arching, her hair cascading down into the water, she found release. Her sounds, the rhythm of her body bringing him to a long and hard climax, his body convulsed into the sweetest pleasure he had ever experienced.
CHAPTER EIGHT
SHE WOKE WITH her legs entangled in his. It should seem strange to wake in his bedroom but it just felt right. Just as it felt right to turn and find him staring at her and to return his grin.
He touched the whorl of her ear, his movement as considerate and thoughtful as his lovemaking had been throughout the night...well after what had happened down at the beach. Had they really done that? It had been wild and unpredictable. But in its aftermath they had returned to the finca, showered and made love in his bed, time and time again.
‘You have sand in your ear.’
His voice was soft and groggy with sleep, his hair tousled.
She was flying too close to the sun. But so what? It would all be over in twenty-four hours. She wasn’t going to overthink any of this. Instead she was going to stubbornly remain in this cocoon of pleasure.
She pushed him onto his back, lying on top of him, delight coursing through her at his groan when she nuzzled his neck, inhaling his rich, musky scent that spoke of exertion and freshly laundered cotton.
His hands explored her back with long caresses that instantly turned her to liquid. ‘Your hands are incredible.’ She lifted her head, her eyes rolling as she gave a tiny, carnal groan. ‘If you ever need to give up your day job you’d make a wonderful masseuse.’
Pulling her down so that their mouths touched, he nibbled her lips, muttering, ‘Your body is one sensitive point after another... I’ll never get enough of you.’
She deepened their kiss, her heart jolting at his words. She knew not to pay too much heed to them—things were said and felt in the heat of lovemaking that bore no relation to life outside of the dream world woven within the confines of a bedroom.
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