“I really, really, really don’t want to go home,” he said with his hands stuffed in his pockets. He looked up at the sky and sighed.
“Well, you always have a place here.”
“I know. ‘Night, Fen.”
As soon as I was in my bedroom I called Tru. He answered on the first ring.
“If you had to choose a favorite Joy Division song which would it be?” he asked.
“That’s like making a mom pick a favorite child. I couldn’t possibly. Why?”
“No reason, but I was realizing as I listen to them that picking would be impossible.”
“I have had the strangest evening.”
“Tell me,” he said, and I could hear him shifting his position.
“I had two unexpected dinner guests. Now that I say it out loud it doesn’t sound so strange, but trust me when I say it was.”
“I trust you. I hope it was at least pleasant.”
I thought about this for a moment and realized it was. “I didn’t realize how late it is. I should let you get some sleep.”
“Not before I tell you I love you.” My heart skipped a beat at hearing his sleepy voice say it.
“I love you too Tru.”
I headed back to the kitchen to make sure my mom didn’t need anymore help, but I found her relaxing at the kitchen island with a slice of pie.
“Sorry I bombarded you with extra people tonight.” I took a seat across from her.
“Don’t be. It was fun. I enjoyed a houseful of teenagers,” she said. “Senior year seems to be the start of big changes for you.” I thought about this for a moment.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Here,” she said, sliding her plate over to me. “Finish this for me. It’s strawberry rhubarb.”
“Thanks mom.”
Monique almost knocked me down when she found me at school the next morning. She seemed more excited than usual and it showed in the way her ponytail was bouncing around on top of her head.
“I have a question for you and it’s weird,” she started.
“Good morning to you too,” I grumbled.
“Okay, um...wow, how do I ask this?” she said to herself. Before she could go on we were joined by Hunter. “Never mind,” she said in a rush. “I’ll see you in class.” She scampered off before I could say anything.
“What was that all about?” he asked.
“No idea.”
“What are you doing after school?” he asked as he stuffed books into his locker. I involuntarily stepped away from him when I spotted Jessica watching us from the end of the hall. I reminded myself that old habits die hard and took a step back in his direction.
“Nothing. Why?”
“I told my parents I was hanging out at your place, but I really want to go check out an info session for an art class the community college is offering to high school students. If you came with me I wouldn’t be technically lying.”
“Hmm. You do have a point there. Sure, I’ll go. I’ll see you later.” Even as I walked away I could feel Jessica’s eyes on my back and I wondered if she would ever let it go.
Monique was waiting at my desk when I walked into french. We had a few moments to spare and I could tell she was eager to talk.
“What is Hunter like?” she blurted out.
“Hunter? Um, he’s a huge geek, but you would never know it. He’s really into sports but not as much as he’s into drawing and comics.”
“Comics?”
“Yeah. Super hero stuff, ya know? Why do you ask?” The grin on her face answered my question.
“Are he and the dumpster fire done for good?”
“I think so and now I will only use that term when speaking of her,” I said with a laugh. “So, you’re interested in him?”I watched her blush.
“I never noticed how long his eyelashes are. A perfect frame for those deep brown eyes.” Her voice was far away and dreamy. A few months ago this conversation would have completely upset me, but I was just amused. My gut told me that Hunter and Monique would be a match made in hell, but it wasn’t my place to interfere.
“What am I supposed to do here? Do I tell him for you, or...”
“Of course not!” she practically shouted. “I will tell him when it’s appropriate. He hasn’t been broken up with D.F. long enough.”
“D.F.,” I said to myself. “Huh, those are the same initials as her pet name for me. Sort of ironic.”
“Good, we’ll turn the tables a little,” she said with a smirk. As much as I hated to admit it, Monique was growing on me.
Half of my lunch period was spent listening to Monique asking me to promise her over and over that I wouldn’t say anything to Hunter. About fifteen promises later she finally seemed satisfied, but she ditched me for the second half of lunch when Hunter joined us.
“Where is she off to in such a hurry?” he asked as he opened a bag of chips.
“Who could tell,” I said with a shrug. “So, tell me more about this art info session.”
“I started using the art room after school sometimes. Like, if I had to wait around for a practice to start I would go in there and doodle. Mr. Fields suggested it when he saw one of my drawings. He sort of knows what’s up with my dad.”
“Well, I’m looking forward to it.”
We dropped my car off at home and Hunter tried to give me a chance to back out one last time, but I had no intentions of staying behind. We wandered around the campus until we finally found a conference room filled with information tables. Each table had a representative from each of the arts departments and there were people gathered around each one to ask questions.
“Oh, I think that’s your table,” I said, pointing to table that said “Visual Art”. I looked around again and found a refreshment table. “I’ll be right over there if you need me.” He nodded and nervously made his way over. I watched him from where I stood and I was excited and terrified for him. A few moments later he came over and I handed him one of the cookies they had on the table.
“Well, so much for that,” he said with disappointment in his tone.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing. Let’s just go.” He started storming off before I could say anything.
“Hey, hang on,” I said as I tried to catch up. “What happened back there?” He stopped walking and turned around, almost causing me to crash into him.
“The class is four hundred dollars.” I didn’t have to ask to know why this was a problem. His parents would never give him the money to go.
“I’m sure there’s a way to make it work.” He only laughed a bitter laugh.
“Seriously? It’s hopeless, Fen.”
“Hunter, nothing is hopeless,” I said, hoping to reassure him.
“How can you say that? How can you be so fucking positive all the time? Especially you?” At this point he was almost shouting and all I could do was stand there stunned.
“What do you mean especially me?” I bit back tears because I knew exactly what he meant.
“All the shit you got and the way everyone...the way I treated you and you still come out with a smile on your face. We can’t all be the better person all the time. I can’t be like you.”
“No one asked you to be,” I whispered. “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” My words surprised him and he stared at me. I could tell the he regretted his words, but it was too late. They were out there for me to hear and now they were ringing in my ears. “I’m finding a different ride home.” I walked away as fast as I could and he didn’t chase after me.
I rode home in the back of a strangers car and I was thankful that I never deleted the ride-share app I used in New York. I knew in my heart that what happened with Hunter wasn’t about me. It was about his parents and I was there on the receiving end of his anger, but his words still stung and I decided it would be a good time for us to spend less time together.
I didn’t tell Tru about what happened when I talked to him that night, but his voice was a co
mplete comfort to me. I crawled under the covers and got as cozy as possible as we chatted about nothing in particular.
“If you were in the city right now, what would you be doing?” he asked in his sleepy voice.
“Hmmm. I’d probably be at the bookstore because it’s open late and I would be holding your hand as we wandered around. And maybe we’d sneak in some french fries after.”
“Interesting,” he said. “That’s completely different from what I picture us doing.”
“Enlighten me.”
“I’m a gentleman, so no. What I can tell you is that your lips would be very, very sore because there is no way I would stop kissing them.” I immediately broke out into goosebumps as his dreamy voice put the image into my mind. “And with that thought I am going to tell you to have sweet dreams.”
“You too,” I whispered.
25.
I got out of bed dreading school because of my weird fight with Hunter. I understood why he was upset, but I didn’t need to be in the crossfire. I decided I would steer clear of him as much as possible, but he had other plans. He was waiting for me at my locker.
“I’m sorry,” he said the moment he saw me.
“For whom? You or me?” I snapped, not meaning to sound so short. Hunter’s eyes grew in surprise.
“To you, Fen.” I could hear the frustration building in his voice.
“Look, I get that you’re disappointed with a lot right now, and I’m here if you need a friend, but not a punching bag.” I saw him cringe when I said it and I felt a little bad for my assertive side coming on so strong. I opened my mouth to soften my words, but I was interrupted by something cold splashing all over my back. I stood, frozen, as the shock wore off and when I looked down I saw something cola colored all over the floor. I turned slowly when I head muffled laughter from behind me. “What. Is. Wrong. With. You?” I asked Jessica between gritted teeth.
“Oh, so sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going,” she said mockingly.
“Tell me, how does it feel to see everyone around you grow up and evolve when you haven’t changed since middle school?”
“Shut up, Fugly,” she snapped.
“You’re not worth my time,” I said before I turned my back on her. Hunter stared between us, clearly horrified at what just happened. I shook my head at him as I walked to the bathroom to get cleaned up. I could hear Monique asking what happened and moments later she was with me as I tried to wipe sticky soft drink from the back of my clothes.
“Here,” she said as she offered me a clean gym shirt. “She’s lucky you didn’t kill her.”
“She’s not worth it and thanks. I’ll get it back to you tomorrow.”
“Why does she hate you so much?” she asked as I stood in a stall and changed.
“It all boils down to middle school and Hunter.” I stepped out and started to rinse the sticky soda from my shirt. “This is a mess. I’ll just go put it in my car. I’ll see you in class.”
I ran out to my car and when I came back inside Hunter was there again, asking if I was okay. My frustration was growing and I knew if I spoke to him I would probably start crying. I pushed past him and got in my seat just as the bell was ringing, but my head started to pound and I wasn’t able to concentrate on anything that was going on.
“Are you okay, Fenley? You look really, really pale,” Monique pointed out after class.
“I’m fine. I just need some aspirin for this headache. I’m gonna head to the nurse.”
As soon as I got there she had me sit down. “Fenley, have you eaten today? You don’t look well,” she explained when she saw me. Before I could protest she had a thermometer in my mouth and a blood pressure cuff on my arm. “Just as I suspected. You are running a fever.”
“I am?”
“Yes. Take this,” she said, handing me two capsules. “Did you drive yourself? Do you feel dizzy?”
“I am a little light headed.” I hated to admit it.
“Is anyone home that can come and get you?”
“I can take her home,” Hunter said from the doorway. The nurse looked at him for a long moment.
“What class are you in now?” she asked.
“Just study lab. I’ll be back in time for chemistry.”
She started to fill out two passes. “Saturday detention if you’re not,” she warned. My head hurt too much to argue.
“You don’t have to do this,” I said as we walked to his car.
“Yeah, I kind of do. You can’t even walk a straight line. Plus I’ve been a dick, so it’s the least I can do.” I didn’t respond because talking hurt too much.
“Oh man, Fen. Let me help you inside,” Hunter said after he looked at me holding my head in pain.
“I’m okay,” I insisted as he followed me inside, but almost as soon as I said it I was over come with nausea and running for the hallway bathroom. Even after I was done, I was afraid to move in case I got sick again.
“Fen, everything okay in there? Can I get you something?” he asked.
“Get back to school. I’ll be okay.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. Don’t get in trouble.”
“I left two more pills and a cup of water by your bed. Make sure you take them.”
“Thanks Hunter.” I gave myself a few moments just to be sure I was done being sick, then I stumbled to my bedroom and crawled under the covers. I was completely disoriented when I woke up. My head was slightly better, but I saw the pills on my side table and took them before I got out of bed. It was a little dark in my room and I was surprised to see that it was already evening when I looked at the clock.
I decided to see if my parents were home, so I walked toward my kitchen, but stopped in my hallway when I heard Hunter and Monique’s voices coming from in there.
“So, you have a key to her house?” Monique asked.
“Yeah, our families go way back. I called her mom to tell her what was going on and she asked me to hang out until she got home. She’s stuck doing something she can’t get out of and her dad is out of town.”
“Hunter, why does Jessica hate her so much?” Monique asked. Hunter let out a bitter laugh before he answered.
“Honestly, she’s jealous. She has been since middle school. Fen and I were inseparable when we were little. She’ll tell you I only hung out with her because our mom’s made us, but that was never the case. It bums me out that she thinks that. Jessica is a bully. She bullied Fen out of the way and got everyone to do it with her. Damn...I hate thinking about it because it makes me feel so stupid.”
“You don’t seem like that... like her. You seem like a nice guy.”
“Thanks. I’m trying to be. You wouldn’t have thought so a couple of months ago.”
“Why not?”
“I’m the reason she left all summer. She heard me being just like those people Jessica brainwashed. What’s weird is that she always brushed the insults off. Never got her down, or at least she didn’t show it, but that day was different and she took off without telling me.”
“You guys really are close,” Monique said.
“She’s my best friend and I don’t deserve her.”
I felt a tear roll down my cheek, but wiped it away when I heard the front door open. I rushed back to my room as I heard my mom thank Hunter for handling things. A few minutes later I heard a knock on my door, then my mom poked her head in.
“Hi mom,” I said in a groggy voice.
“Sorry I took so long. I was stuck at a city council meeting. How are you feeling?” She sat down beside me and felt my forehead.
“Like trash.”
“Well, your sweet friend Monique brought over some chicken noodle soup. Are you up to it?”
“That was nice of her. Maybe in a bit.”
“She and Hunter just left. That boy is a god send. Let me heat up your soup and I’ll bring it to you.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled. My brain was still trying to register what I had overheard in my o
wn kitchen. Hunter was never one to share feelings and even though he and I had talked about how he was trying to change, I still partly believed he had only said it for my benefit. Hearing him say it to someone else drove the message home.
After I managed to eat a few bites of soup I picked up my phone and sent Monique and Hunter each a thank you text, then a voice chat call came through from Tru. I looked terrible and contemplated declining the call, but I missed him and decided his voice would be good medicine.
“Why are you hiding under your pillow?” he asked. I had the pillow covering half of my face.
“I’m sick and I look like hell.”
“Sick with what?”
“I don’t know exactly. Probably the flu. I feel like I have been hit by a truck.”
“Not good. I’m sorry love.”
“It’s okay. You’re helping.”
“Have you taken anything?”
“Yeah. I got some stuff from the nurse this morning and just took the pills Hunter left me.”
“Hunter? He was there?” It was almost imperceptible, but I thought I heard just a hint of jealousy in his voice.
“My head was hurting so much that it was making me dizzy, so he just drove me home from school.”
“That was cool of him.”
“My friend Monique brought me chicken noodle soup,” I said in an attempt to change the subject.
“Good. I’m glad you’re being looked after.” He sounded completely sincere, but I sensed a tiny bit of bitterness.
“Well, so far you have been the best medicine.”
“Rest is also good medicine, so I’m going to let you get some. Same time tomorrow?”
“Please. Love you and miss you.”
“Love you and miss you too. Goodnight.” My heart sank when his picture disappeared from my phone screen, but he was right. I needed to get some sleep.
My sleep was restless. I fought a fever most of the night and felt too exhausted to move.
“Sweetie, how are you feeling?” my mom asked as she cracked open my door. I only groaned in response. “I’m going to get you some of that nighttime flu medicine so you can get some sleep. I already called your school. I’ll be back soon.”
Fugly: Book One of the Fenley East Series Page 9
