by Lynn Landes
“Which first?” She chews her lip as she thinks aloud. “The open tarts are the quickest to make.” She mixes the dough and then grabs a large bowl and begins peeling and slicing plums and apples. Once that is complete, she rolls out the pie crusts flat and slices it into small hand-held sized portions. She tops each with plums, or apples, being careful to keep the fruit in the center. A quick egg wash and she rolled the edges up around to form the tarts crusty edges. Anika is elated to find that one batch of dough will make two dozen small tarts. She slides them in the hot oven and returns to the counter.
“That means I will have four dozen German Tarts?”
“Sounds delicious.” Glenn almost laughs when she startles and whirls around until he sees the fear on her face.
“Damnit, I didn't mean to frighten you, Anika.” He steps towards her, and she laughs nervously.
“I didn’t hear you come in,” she glances at him and is shocked by his gaunt appearance. A thick, full, beard covers his face and shaggy hair, but it is the haunted expression in his eyes that cause her to pause.
“We saved you a plate, sit down, and I'll get it for you.”
Glenn stares at her retreating back, “Something smells amazing, please tell me that I get to be your taste tester?”
“We’ll see,” she teases softly, “but first you have the finish your dinner.” Anika places a big bowl of Brunswick stew in front of him and a dinner roll. “Coffee?”
“Thank you,” he avoids further eye contact with her and digs into his soup.
Anika pulls the first patch of pastries from the oven and slides the second one in before turning to begin working on the German tarts. The kitchen fills with the scent of baked pies, and Glenn sits back to sip his coffee and watch her work.
While the first batch cools, she grabs the dough from the icebox and begins the process of rolling it and slicing. Each is sliced into long strips about six inches long.
“I haven’t seen you lately, how are you?” He asks.
“I'm doing well. I must thank you for hiring Mrs. Henrietta, she's a dream come true. It gives me time with Delaney, and the boys love her.”
“I’m glad to hear it.”
“How are you?” She asks as she dusts the table with flour and sits to begin the long process of twisting each strip. Once they are twisted, she swirls them in a circle and places them on the baking sheet.
“Tired.” He sips his coffee and steals a tart from the cookie sheet.
“Hey,” she laughs as he smirks.
“But not too tired to swipe one of these.”
“It’s not finished yet, I will dust them with the glaze just before serving.”
“Don’t mess with perfection, Anika,” he says taking a huge bite.
They stare at each other before she breaks away with a stammer, “They won’t be perfect if I burn them.” She hurries to the oven to pull the second batch out.
Glenn notices everything about her, from the healthy sheen to her hair, to the blush on her cheeks and even the smooth way she moves. Her wounds have healed well. Anika is a beautiful woman, and he's been purposely avoiding her. The first three weeks he spent a great deal of his nights with her and the twins, but it only made his attraction towards her grow stronger. After the cellar incident, he stopped them all together. He doesn't trust himself to be alone with her and not touch her.
“I’ve missed you,” he murmurs.
Anika freezes and her eyes jump to his. They both jump when Savanna walks into the kitchen holding a fussing baby. “Look who woke up.”
Glenn smiles and reaches for his son. He calms as soon as he’s lifted to his chest.
“He smelled the amazing pastries, no doubt,” Glenn says.
“Pastries? Anika, please tell me I can have one,” Savannah pleads.
“Okay, but only if you promise to walk with me tomorrow.” Glenn’s eyebrows lift in surprise.
“Deal,” she chooses her tart and sits at the table.
“Walk with you where?” He grumbles and pats his son.
“To the homestead, we’ve been cleaning it out for the past few weeks,” Anika replies and carefully applies a teaspoon of jam to the center of each cookie sized pastry.
Savannah watches the expressions on Glenn’s face carefully. “Let me do that, and you start the next batch,” she offers.
“Thank you, Savannah. I thought I’d have more time before they woke, but Quinton has decided to play catch up with his brother. He’s getting so big.”
“Why?” Glenn demands louder this time and pats his sons back causing a large burp.
“Wow, he sounds just like you, Daddy.” Savannah attempts to lighten the moment.
“Why what?” Anika quips ignoring Savannah as she slides another pan in the oven.
Glenn glares, “Why are you working at the homestead, you have two years before that is an issue.”
“One year and nine months, actually.” Anika stands up and stretches before grabbing her dusting sugar to top the first pan of cooled pastries.
“So, your counting down to when you can leave us?” Glenn snaps.
Anika stops moving and turns to glare at him.
“You can’t have it both ways. You’ve made your position clear, Mr. Ward.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Glenn barks.
“Ridiculous,” she hisses. Anika slaps the canister on the table and faces a startled pair of eyes, Ignoring Savannah, she snaps, “First you try to decide what I need in a man and now I’m ridiculous!”
“There is no need for you to be working on the homestead. Why are you so dead set on working out there?”
“Well, Mr. Ward, I happen to need the exercise, I enjoy the sunshine and because I want to. Why are you being such a bully?”
“Bully? I merely asked a question. You shouldn’t be working there alone.”
“Who said I was alone?” Glenn’s mouth drops open in surprise.
Savannah smothers a smile and reaches for a sleepy baby, “I’ll just lay him back down.” She hurries from the kitchen.
They ignore her as they face off. “Who have you been seeing?”
“That’s not the point, Mr. Ward.” He steps closer to her and is quietly pleased that she doesn’t back away from him.
“Dr. Parker cleared me weeks ago to return to regular activities. Which you would know if you were around more. I’ve been helping your sister.”
“It's not safe for you to be traipsing all over the countryside unescorted, Dr. Parker would agree with me.”
Anika pokes his chest and snaps, “Maybe you should see him, Glenn. It looks like you are working yourself thin.”
Glenn grabs her hand, and they both stop moving. “Did you just poke me?”
Anika’s lips curl into a small smile, “Yes, I did.”
The trust she shows humbles him. ‘I’ve missed you,’ he thinks and almost says it out loud, again.
“You've been avoiding me,” Anika murmurs and pulls her hand away. Turning away from him, he catches a glimpse of the hurt. She grabs a bowl and mixes a glaze of sugar, vanilla, and juice. Glenn moves so close behind her that she can feel the heat of his body warming hers. The pounding of his heart is thumping in his ears, and he struggles with the need to touch her. Her bravery and kindness pull at him.
“It’s better this way,” Glenn murmurs and leaves swiftly before he fails them both.
“Better for whom?” Anika doesn’t turn to watch him go, she continues working until the final pastries are baked. Two hours later after cleaning the kitchen, she finds her way to the nursery.
Widows remarry often and as quickly as possible, but she is not in the same class as the Ward family, she reminds herself. He was right about one thing, they are both broken, but she refuses to live the rest of her life in fear. With the pastor's guidance, she has been studying her Bible and attempting to heal.
Anika set the lantern down on the dresser and steps over to the walnut crib, expecting to find both boys asleep. Quinton is s
taring at her, and the moment she smiles at him, he grins and starts kicking his feet.
“Hi, little man,” her eyes fill with tears as she picks him up and cuddles him to her. Images of Rosie fills her mind and heart. She lets the tears flow freely as sits in the rocker to nurse him. Her tears don't seem to want to stop. Quinton sleeps as she places him gently back in his bed and repairs her dress. Moving to the window Anika stares out into the star-filled night, October is almost over, and the cold is a welcome relief. She wipes at her tear-stained cheeks and takes a deep breath, sleep will not come easy this night.
Glenn steps inside intending to apologize but finds Anika in tears. “What’s wrong?” He demands and hurries to her side.
“If you’ve come to shout at me, don’t.” She turns her face away from him and sits on the window seat.
Glenn squats down next to her, “Talk to me.”
“Rosie,” the word is laced with love and pain. Glenn bows his head to her knees as if unable to bear the sound of her name.
Anika touches his hair, running her fingers over his head and neck. Glenn looks up at her and grabs her hand gently. “Glenn, in my mind’s eye, I can imagine all her firsts. Her first smile, her first laugh, even her first fit and it torments me.”
“I understand.”
Anika glances quickly away from him. “How could you possibly understand. God blessed you with two healthy sons.”
Glenn stands up quickly and stares at her.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” she whispers swiping at her tears.
“Don’t be sorry, you’re right. I wish I could help you.” His anger boils at the thought of her in pain. “It shouldn’t be this way.”
“You help me every day, Glenn. I’m not sure I could find a better listener.”
“At least I can do that.” He sighs and stands up to leave, but her words stop him.
“You’ve done more than that, Glenn. You’ve given us a safe place to call home, restored my dreams and been a friend when I needed one. Don’t take my tears for weakness. I miss my daughter, but when I hold your sons, they make the pain more bearable.” She steps to the crib and looks down at them. Glenn joins her and smiles down at the identical dark-haired babies.
“Allen rolled over today, and Quinton is right with him.” Pride has her laughing softly, before looking up at him. “Is it wrong to love them so quickly?” She whispers.
Glenn drapes an arm around her shoulder and tugs her into his side. “No, they need your love,” and so do I, his heart says.
He presses a kiss to the side of her head and leaves quickly. “Good night, Anika.”
His anger pulses through his body forcing him from the farmhouse and into the barn. The nightmares won't leave him be. Last night Sue was holding the babies and running away from him, through a bloody field of dead soldiers. A severed hand grabbed her foot, tripping her and she fell screaming and tossing the babies into the air. He woke up shouting and covered in sweat. Glenn stomps through night to the empty barn stall where he begins punching on a curved wall that has seen too much blood and fury. Anika is a temptation that is driving him to distraction. Guilt at having lost his wife and anger at his circumstances eat at his soul.
Savannah follows her brother into the barn and watches in horrified silence as he beats out his rage. When his blood begins to cover the wall, she steps behind him.
“What in God’s name are you doing?”
Glenn stops beating the wall but doesn’t turn around, his head drops, “Go away, Savannah, you wouldn’t understand.”
Savannah ignores him and grabs a clean towel from a cabinet in the cold barn. “Anika didn’t tell you the truth, about the homestead.”
His head snaps up at that bit of information. “What are you talking about?” She gently wraps one hand and then the other, only to flinch when he hisses in pain.
“She wasn't alone at the homestead.” His eyes fly open wide and he glares at her. Savannah chuckles, “That's what I thought. You two have feelings for each other, but she deserves better than this display, and so do you.”
“My feelings don’t matter.” Glenn jerks his hand away and snaps, “You wouldn’t understand.”
“I understand more than you think. Sometime soon, you and I will take a ride and I'll show you what Anika's been up to.” She stomps out of the barn and prays that this the right thing to do.
Chapter 13
Anika holds Delaney’s hand and smiles down at her in excitement. “I’ve never worked a bake sale before. This should be fun, right Delaney?” In her other hand is a carpet bag.
Glenn carries her pastries in a wooden box and walks beside them, listening.
Delaney shrugs her shoulders, “I guess.” Anika glances at her in surprise.
Allen, Daisy, and Savannah are walking ahead of them carrying the trays of baked goods, and the twins are with the housekeeper. “That doesn't sound like my girl. What's wrong?”
“I don’t know,” she mumbles.
“Delaney, did you know that we will be joined at the sale by some of the church families and that includes boys and girls your age,” Glenn explains.
“That’s nice, Mr. Ward.”
Anika glances down at her and squeezes her hand gently. “Mrs. Clara will be there, and you look so pretty in your new dress. Today is a chance to make new happy memories, Delaney.”
Delaney stops walking, surprising them both. “Mama, when we’re done, can we go see them?”
Anika stoops down eye level with her daughter, “See who?”
“Daddy and Rosie,” she whispers.
All the color drains from her face as the words strike home. “Oh sweetie, of course we can.”
Delaney throws her arms around her and wipes her eyes. “Thank you, Mama.”
“I’d do anything for you, Delaney.”
Delaney skips to catch up with Savannah, and Glenn stares at her struggling to compose herself. “You're one hell of a woman, Anika Coltrane.”
Anika blushes and smiles, “Thank you.” She hurries to catch up to her daughter and put some distance between them. It is better if they aren't seen together. Delaney needs to find peace, and she will do whatever it takes to help her find it. Even if that means visiting the cemetery.
Today is an essential part of reclaiming her life. Joining the Ward family at church will give them a fresh start. Delaney needs to meet children her own age. She straightens her blue velvet dress and matching overcoat, wondering how the other church members will react to her. So many young women are without husbands or widowed with children. It is best if she is not seen as a threat to them. The money from the bake sale goes to help the widows and orphans from the war. Unfortunately, too many are still struggling with the daily needs of food and shelter.
First Baptist Church is beautiful from the outside. It is unusual in that it is an all brick building. The churches steeply pitched roof, and simple red brick façade accentuates the pointed, arched stained glass windows, but it is the tall, thin spires which draw the eye to the crowning glory. The bell house is surrounded by the spires, with its large cast bronze bell gleaming in the morning sunlight.
It is too cold to set up tables outside, but the news spread quickly through the town, and it is expected to be a busy day. Inside the sanctuary, the pews have been moved to a storage building for the day and tables have been lined up all around the walls. Families are busy laying out their items and excitement hums.
Pastor Donegal welcomes them and directs Daisy to the tables for them to use. Anika will have a table to herself as well. Daisy and Allen move to the table next to hers and begin setting up, while Glenn helps stack her wooden trays on the floor behind her table.
“Did you bring the quilt?” Pastor Donegal asks.
“I did, but we left it in the wagon.” Anika looks to Glenn who quickly offers to retrieve it.
“I would like to hang it on the entry wall, coming into the sanctuary. To make sure everyone entering will be able to get
a good look at it.”
Dr. Parker and his wife, Clara wave and walk over. Delaney runs to them for her hugs. “That’s a wonderful idea, Pastor Donegal! I hope it’s well received.” Anika smiles and glances around the room.
“Anika, do you need any help?” Clara offers.
“Yes, please. Could you help me get my table set up? I’ve never set up at a bake sale before.”
“You'll do fine.” Pastor Donegal waves at Glenn and points to the hall to show him where to take it. Anika watches him go and her eyes catch Martha watching her. Of course, she is wearing the new dress from Mrs. Flannagan's shop, and not a single hair is out of place. Anika quickly turns away and looks for Delaney.
Clara nudges her, “Don’t let her bother you. Savannah and I will help run your table. I’ll walk Delaney to the children’s room where she can play and have a snack.”
“Thank you,” she smiles softly watching the excitement on Delaney’s face. Savannah walks up and glances at the table.
“I have just the thing to make this table stand out from the rest, besides you, of course,” she teases and pulls out a brilliant blue table cloth.
“Where did you get that!” Anika gasps.
“I can’t reveal my secrets, but the white doilies on top will just be beautiful.” They begin to set up and place the trays of pastries across the table. “Do you want all of them out?” Savannah asks.
Martha marches over with her Mother, and they stand back watching them set up. Anika ignores her and continues working.
“No, I think I will save the jelly pastries for last. They have to be dusted with the glazing sugar before serving.”
Savannah turns to glare at Martha who sniffs saying, “I can’t imagine anyone will want to buy from the two of you.” Her Mother giggles. “If I remember correctly baking isn’t one of your strong suits, Savannah.”
Rhemi walks up behind them. “I imagine quite a few will want to taste Anika’s wares,” he laughs at his crude joke.
