by Tillie Cole
SICK FUX
TILLIE COLE
Contents
Copyright
Quote
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Epilogue
The End
“SICK FUX”
Playlist
Acknowledgments
Author Biography
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Copyright © Tillie Cole 2017 All rights reserved
Editing and Proofreading by Kia Thomas Editing
Cover Design by Hang Le
Formatting by Stephen Jones
Ebook Edition
No Part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photography, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system without the prior written consent from the publisher and author, except in the instance of quotes for reviews. No part of this book may be uploaded without the permission of the publisher and author, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is originally published.
This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, actual events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters and names are products of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.
The publisher and author acknowledge the trademark status and trademark ownership of all trademarks, service marks and word marks mentioned in this book.
Dedication
For the supporters of the Dark Romance Revolution.
I adore your black hearts!
“If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would become a mighty stranger.”
Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights
Prologue
Ellis
The first time I met Heathan James he was picking the wings off a butterfly. When I asked him why, he turned his light gray eyes my way and said, “Because I want to watch it die.”
I watched as his gaze rolled back to the squirming wingless insect in his hand. Watched his lips part as the sad creature withered and died in his palm. A long, soft breath escaped his parted lips, and a victorious smile tugged on his mouth.
I once heard of the theory that the simple flutter of a butterfly’s wings, a tiny perturbation, that merest whisper of movement in the air, could start the process of building something much bigger; a tornado, devastating thousands. A tsunami crushing iron-heavy waves onto sandy shores, obliterating everything in its path.
As I looked back on the moment we met, this introduction to Heathan James, the man who became my entire world, the pulsing marrow in my bones, I wondered if his deadly act of ripping the wings from the bright blue-and-black butterfly started such a perturbation in our lives. Not a tsunami or a tornado caused by a simple flutter, but something much darker and more sinister, caused by stripping a beautiful creature of its ability to fly, to thrive. A path of destruction no one saw coming; the sweetest, most violent deaths carried out with the gentlest of smiles on our faces and the utmost hell in our hearts.
Heathan James was never the light in my life, but instead a heavy eclipse, blotting out the sun and anything bright, bringing with him endless, eternal night and murderous tar-black blood pumping through my veins.
Heathan James was the genesis of my soul’s reawakening . . . a soul not meant for peace, but one handcrafted for death and murder and blood and bones . . .
Soulmates forged in fire, under the watchful gaze of Satan’s mocking eyes.
Heathan.
Ellis.
Just a couple of sick fux . . .
Chapter 1
Ellis
Age seven
Earnshaw Estate
Dallas, Texas
“He’s weird.”
I gripped my doll in my hand as I stared at Heathan James sitting on the grass. He was dressed all in black—black shirt, black pants . . . and strangely, a black vest with pockets. I’d never seen anyone but a grown-up wear one of those before. His hair was black—short at the sides but long on the top. It kept falling into his eyes. His eyes that looked silver in the path of the sun. They were actually light gray. I’d never seen that color in a person’s eyes before.
“Ellis.” Eddie pulled on my arm. I yanked it out of his grip.
“He’s new. And he doesn’t know anyone.” I leaned in close to Eddie, my best friend and next-door neighbor. His Stetson shielded his eyes. He always wore a Stetson. Said he wanted to be a Texas Ranger one day like his uncle. I thought he’d make a good one. “I heard my papa talking to my uncles last night. I snuck out of my room and listened at Papa’s office door. I heard him say Heathan’s mummy didn’t want him anymore. Said he scared her. So she gave him to his papa—Mr. James, the grounds keeper.” I shook my head. “I heard he didn’t want him either but had no choice. His mummy’s nowhere to be found. She ran away and left him all alone.”
Eddie’s blue eyes widened. “His mama gave him away? What did he do to scare her?” I looked back across the grass at Heathan. He had a magnifying glass in his hands. He was burning ants. I shrugged in answer to Eddie’s question. I didn’t know what he’d done.
“He doesn’t look much scary to me,” I declared, studying him hard. “I think he’s older than us. I heard one of my uncles say he’s already nine.” Eddie was eight. I was seven.
“When you met him yesterday, he was killing a butterfly.” Eddie looked over his shoulder at Heathan. “He’s killing ants right now. He’s really weird, Ellis. Why does he keep killing things?” He paused. “I think he’s too strange to be friends with.” He took a deep breath. “My uncle says to stay away from kids like him. That they’re the ones who will end up getting you in trouble one day. You know I can’t get into trouble if I want to be a Texas Ranger.”
“I wanna go talk to him.” I pushed past Eddie and ran down the slope of warm grass. I ran until I was out of breath and came to a stop beside Heathan. I made sure my headband was still in place and my hair was smooth.
Heathan didn’t look up at me, so I peered over his shoulder at what he was doing. A pile of dead ants lay under the magnifying glass in his hands. Smoke rose from their little black broken bodies. “Watching them die too?” I asked, and his back bunched under his shirt.
A bird sang in the nearby tree as I waited for him to respond. “They died slower than the butterfly yesterday,” he said eventually. “They tried to survive, tried to escape, run away . . . but they couldn’t. I had them trapped. They fought hard . . . but I had to kill them.”
I wanted a closer look. I crouched down opposite him and smiled when he moved the magnifying glass away from the dead ants. He was watching my face, I could feel it, so I lifted my eyes and smiled really big. “I’m Ellis Earnshaw. I never got to say that yesterday. I live here too.” I pointed to the main house. My house. My papa’s estate.
Heathan didn’t smile back. He didn’t move, didn’t say anything. He just watched me. His eyes moved to the black headband in my hair, then down my blue dress, over my white apron and long white socks to my black shoes. Last of all, he looked at the china-faced doll in my hands. “This is Alice,” I announced and held her out for him to see. She was dressed exactly the same as me. She even had long blond hair and blue eyes too.
“No.” Heathan shook his h
ead.
“No what?”
“You’re Dolly.”
I looked at my doll again. “I don’t understand,” I said, crinkling up my nose. I was so confused.
He pointed at me. “You’re not called Ellis. Your name is Dolly. I decided on it yesterday. You look exactly like your doll. I named you Dolly. I don’t like Ellis. It’s a stupid name. It doesn’t suit you.”
I stared at him in shock, then looked down at my doll. I smiled again. “I like that.” Heathan quickly looked away. “She’s Alice. From Wonderland.” I pointed down at my blue dress, white apron and white socks. “It is my favorite book ever. My mummy got me this doll last year. My papa got me the clothes so I would match.” I hugged my doll close to my chest. “I wanna be just like Alice when I grow up. Go to new places, fall into a strange new world. I wanna meet the Cheshire Cat and the Mad Hatter.” I shook my head. “But not the Queen of Hearts. She’s a monster! She . . .” I leaned in closer. “She scares me.”
“Why do you say ‘Mummy’?” he asked.
My shoulders dropped. “My mummy was English. It’s what they call their mamas in England.” Heathan’s eyes narrowed. I tipped my head to the side. “Well? Do you know that book? Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland?”
Heathan shook his head. A piece of black hair fell forward and covered his left eye. I reached up to push it out of the way, but his hand snapped out and grabbed my wrist. I gasped and stared at his fingers on my skin. His hold didn’t hurt me, but . . . but when I looked into his eyes, my heart started beating really fast. “No one touches me,” he said through his teeth.
“Okay.” I swallowed.
Heathan stared at me and stared at me, then he let go of my arm. I pulled it back and rubbed at the spot he had held. Heathan picked up his magnifying glass and brought it back over the pile of dead ants. I never took my eyes off him as the rays of the sun hit the thick glass and began sizzling the black insects once again.
“Why do you wear a waistcoat?” I asked.
Heathan’s hand froze. He looked at me out of the side of his eye. “A waistcoat?”
I pointed at his clothes.
“A vest?”
I laughed and shook my head. “A vest. Silly me. I get the two names confused sometimes.”
“Why?”
My heart suddenly felt heavy, and I dropped my head. I played with my doll’s hair so I wouldn’t cry. “I told you. My mummy was from England. She was from a place called Oxford. I’ve never been there. But she would call things by different names sometimes.” I pointed at his vest. “She called vests ‘waistcoats.’ Called the hood of a car a ‘bonnet.’ Silly things like that.”
“Where is she?” Heathan asked, and I felt the tears in my eyes get bigger.
“She died last year.” I hugged my doll tighter. “Before she did, she told me she would see me in Wonderland someday.” I held up my doll. “She gave me this. She told me it would keep me safe.”
“From what?”
“Bad people.” I stared at Heathan. He didn’t say anything. “She said there were bad people in the world. Some who were close by. She told me that Alice would keep me safe.”
“Have you met any bad people yet?”
I shook my head. “No. I only see my papa and uncles around here. Oh, and my nanny, Mrs. Jenkins. There’s your papa too . . . and now you!”
Heathan looked at my doll, then he looked away from me. He let go of the magnifying glass and ran his hand over the pocket in his vest.
“What’s in there?” I leaned forward to get a better look. Heathan’s hand slammed over the pocket to keep it closed. I looked up into his eyes. Whatever was in there, I didn’t think he was gonna let me see. But he breathed out deeply and reached inside. I waited, holding my breath as he pulled out something shiny and gold. I leaned in closer and closer, until my head was hovering above his hand. My face was only an inch from his. Heathan met my eyes, then slowly opened his hand. Finger by finger.
“Heathan.” My heart started racing. “It’s a pocket watch?”
“It’s getting late.” He stared at the face. I frowned when I saw that the glass was smashed and the hands weren’t moving. A long chain dangled from his pocket.
“Heathan,” I gasped. I had to hold my hand back from touching the broken glass. “It’s broken. It doesn’t work,” I said sadly.
Heathan looked confused. He held the watch up to his ear, tapped the side and said, “Tick tock.” He held it out toward me. “Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.” His head tilted to the side. “It works just fine. Can’t you hear it? Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Can’t you see it?”
I stared at the watch. I studied it really hard. I couldn’t see or hear anything. Then I realized Heathan was playing pretend. Just like I did with my tea parties. He wanted me to play along with his game.
“I can hear it!” I smiled. Heathan froze at my words, then his lip started to tug up at the corner and I thought I saw him smile too.
Kind of, anyway. It was sort of a smile.
I didn’t think Heathan smiled all that much. He seemed sad. Different to Eddie. They were both serious. But with Heathan, it was different. I wanted to know why.
Then I froze. My hand flew to my mouth as I realized something. “Heathan,” I whispered eagerly as I looked down at my doll. At my clothes. I looked at his waistcoat, then down at the pocket watch . . . “The White Rabbit.” I scrambled forward and sat right in front of him. Heathan didn’t move. “The watch . . . You’re just like the White Rabbit from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.”
I laughed and I laughed.
“Rabbit.” I pointed at his chest. “Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock . . . you’re Rabbit!”
“Dolly.”
“Rabbit!” I agreed and smiled at our new names. “Dolly and Rabbit. Alice followed the rabbit down the rabbit hole. He took her to Wonderland. He took her from her dull world and into one of bright colors and magical creatures.” I squeezed my doll. “And now I have met you. Have you come to show me a new world?”
I waited in excitement for his answer, then a shadow suddenly blocked out the sun.
“Ellis.”
I peered up and saw Eddie standing tall above us. His arms were crossed over his chest. “Eddie!” I pointed at Heathan. “He’s Rabbit and I’m Dolly! Can you believe it?”
“What?” Eddie asked, eyebrows pulled down real tight. “What do you mean?”
“From Wonderland!” I threw my head back in happiness. “Like that thing my mummy always said . . .” I tried to think. “Fate!” I shouted, remembering her words. “It’s fate!”
Eddie’s face screwed up. “Why have you never made me one of the characters from that book?”
I screwed my face up too. “Who would you be?” I hadn’t ever seen Eddie as anyone from Wonderland.
He shrugged, then his face lit up and he tapped his hat. “I could be the Mad Hatter! I always wear my hat. So does he.”
I studied his hat. I shook my head and laughed at his silliness. “You could never be the Mad Hatter.”
“Why?” Eddie crossed his arms over his chest again.
“Because the Mad Hatter is mad, silly! You’re not. You’re ‘sensible,’” I said with air quotes. “Mrs. Jenkins always tells me how you’re a ‘good boy’ and very ‘sensible in the head.’” I shook my head. “So you can’t be the Mad Hatter, Eddie. It just doesn’t suit. You don’t belong in Wonderland.” I looked back at Heathan to see him staring at me. “But Heathan and I . . .”
Heathan whipped his head around to look at Eddie. Then Heathan moved right beside me, almost in front of me, and glared at Eddie. Eddie swallowed. He went very pale as Heathan scowled at him.
“I’m going home now,” Eddie said slowly, backing away. “You wanna come with me? My mama said you can come for supper. Maybe take a ride on our newest colt.” Eddie lived next door—well, on the next estate over. The Smith estate was a ranch. He snuck in through the hedges separating the properties to come s
ee me. I didn’t ever go to his house. My papa never ever let me. I’d never left our estate’s grounds in my whole life.
“No,” Heathan answered for me, and Eddie stepped back again. “She’s staying here.” Heathan held out his arm so I couldn’t get past him. “Go home.”
I slapped his hand and shook my head. “Silly Rabbit! You’re being so naughty and rude!” I giggled, then looked up at Eddie. “I’m staying here, Eddie. You know Papa doesn’t let me leave, yet you always ask.”
“Fine.” Eddie stormed away, arms crossed over his chest again. “Eddie!” I called out, seeing he was upset, but he didn’t turn around. I sighed and sat back down. I didn’t want Eddie to be sad or angry at me. It wasn’t anyone’s fault if he didn’t belong in Wonderland.
Heathan turned to face me. “I don’t like him.”
“Rabbit. Stop that. He’s my friend.”
“Friends?” he asked. “I don’t have friends.”
My mouth dropped open in shock. “You do now.” Heathan didn’t reply, so I pointed at my chest. “Rabbit and Dolly, remember?” I laughed again when his forehead creased in confusion. I, for one, loved the sound of our new names. “You wanna see my favorite things?” I asked, changing the subject.
Heathan still looked confused, but he eventually shrugged. “Stay here,” I said and leaped to my feet. I ran all the way back to my house and grabbed my sack of favorite things. I was out of breath by the time I got back to Heathan. He hadn’t moved. Not a single muscle.
