by Marie Medina
Petyr hesitated, his gaze on the floor. “I won’t stay because of fate. Or good sex.” He looked at Rollo again. “We’re together. A couple. But I’ll only mate you, or marry you, if I love you. Not because it’s easy or because you love me.”
Rollo didn’t look completely satisfied, but he nodded and hugged Petyr closer. “As long as you won’t leave without us talking about it. And if you do leave, I won’t tolerate objections to any help I offer. You sold your home and all your possessions. You’ll need help, and I won’t let you refuse.”
Petyr’s stomach pitched. He hated seeing the worry and disappointment on the other man’s face. “I know I’d need help, if I did go. And I promise I’d let you.” He brushed his fingers over Rollo’s cheek. “I know I can’t begin to understand what it was like for you to walk away and let me marry Nora. And I can’t understand what you’re going through now. But now, I’m right here in your arms.” He rose and drew Rollo up with him. “And we both need a bath.”
Rollo’s gaze wandered over him slowly. “We do.”
Petyr drew the bath, sitting on the edge of the enormous tub. When he felt Rollo watching him, he said, “I thought last night would be far more awkward. And painful.”
“Did I hurt you? Honestly, you became pretty aggressive.” Rollo sat beside him, brushing his hand up Petyr’s arm.
“I’m sore now, but last night?” He shook his head, smiling. “It was amazing.”
Rollo drew him closer. “You’ll have to tell me where you’re sore. I could massage some of the ache away.”
Petyr smiled and leaned in. “There is one place in particular,” he said as he guided Rollo’s hand.
****
Rollo walked at Petyr’s side, with Adam in his arms, as they went out to see Jonah off. When Rollo noticed the man hadn’t departed yet, he’d been tempted to find something to keep Petyr occupied. But in the end he’d been the one to suggest taking the children down so Jonah could see them. Petyr’s smile told him he’d done the right thing. Being jealous and petty would get him nowhere.
Jonah looked up from securing his saddlebag when they approached.
“Rollo saw you were still out here and thought you might like to see Adam and Ellie,” Petyr said. “It hadn’t occurred to me that you’d never even really met them.”
Both men looked down for a few moments, seemingly embarrassed, but then Ellie reached out and grabbed Jonah’s sleeve.
“Hi, there,” Jonah said. “You both have daddy’s hair.”
As Jonah fussed over them, Rollo realized he felt proud. They weren’t his children, but he loved them. That thought set others off in his head. Petyr hadn’t questioned Rollo saying he loved the children already. In fact, he couldn’t imagine anyone objecting to that sentiment. Why was it so simple just because they were children? He glanced over at Petyr.
I love him, too. I loved him when I first met him. Why isn’t it all right to come out and say it? Why is it too soon or too sudden?
Rollo blinked as he realized Jonah had spoken to him. “I’m sorry. My mind wandered. Could you repeat that?”
Jonah said, “I was thanking you for being so gracious.”
“Think nothing of it. I’m glad you can take news back to the village for Petyr.”
Jonah glanced between Rollo and Petyr. “Will you write when a date is set?”
Rollo hesitated so Petyr could say whatever he wanted his friend and those in his village to know. If Rollo had his way, they’d be ordering jewelry and talking to a priest that very afternoon.
“I’ll write when … well, when there’s any news,” Petyr said, shifting Ellie in his arms.
Jonah nodded. “Of course.” He extended his hand to Petyr, and they shook. “You look so much better this morning. I’m very happy to take good news back.”
“Do tell everyone I’m sorry they worried. And sorry I wasn’t completely honest with everyone. I wasn’t myself at all.”
“They’ll understand, I’m sure. And be happy to hear all of you are all right.” Jonah nodded to Rollo and then mounted his horse, setting off at a quick trot and not glancing back.
“You can breathe now,” Petyr said.
Rollo turned to his mate. “I think I did better than most vampires would if their newly turned mate was talking to someone who had once pursued them.”
“He never really pursued me.”
“He was in love with you.”
“Maybe. He had feelings, but now, it doesn’t matter. I’m with you, remember?”
“Oh, I’m not going to forget.”
“Or let me forget,” Petyr said with a chuckle before kissing Rollo’s cheek. “Let’s take a walk around back. I’m so tired of being indoors.”
The warmth of the twin suns did feel good as they followed a path around the main house. Adam kept bouncing in Rollo’s arms, and Ellie wanted to touch every single thing they passed.
“Do you have any other affairs to settle back home?”
“No. I took care of everything, sold it all off except for what I brought with me. Didn’t want to burden anyone.”
“You can depend on someone, need them even, without it being a burden.”
Petyr looked up at him. “I’d rather be criticized for worrying too much than be called thoughtless or ungrateful.”
“I doubt anyone would ever have any reason to call you that.”
They strolled the path through the small garden in silence for a few minutes. Petyr took a deep breath and pushed it out slowly. “I wouldn’t really say I feel different. And yet I do.”
“Have you noticed a difference in your appetite?”
“Which one?” Petyr asked softly.
Rollo smiled and said, “Either one.”
“I’m certainly not hungry, though I haven’t had much of an appetite for weeks. I don’t feel much of a craving for blood. Should I?”
“By tonight, you may feel it. But it won’t be like a food craving. Wanting the taste or anything. You’ll feel tired. Perhaps anxious.”
“Does drinking my blood change things for you?”
“My desire to feed?”
“Yes.”
Rollo shifted Adam to his other arm and inched closer. “Well, I can’t say there’s a single moment in the day when I’d turn down the chance to drink from you. But my appetite itself hasn’t changed.”
Instead of smiling or laughing, Petyr stopped short. “If I leave, you won’t just be disappointed. It’ll affect your health, won’t it?”
Rollo paused in what he’d been about to say, taken aback by this reaction. “I wouldn’t die, if that’s what you mean. Or get sick. The Dissolution isn’t caused by losing a mate. I’d be fine physically. No one else’s blood tastes as good as yours does, but it wouldn’t hurt me in any way.”
Petyr looked a little relieved, but he still moved toward a bench and sat down, clutching Ellie close.
“You all right?” Rollo asked.
Petyr didn’t look up so Rollo knelt in front of him, waiting.
After a moment, Petyr said, “You’re going to laugh, after the number of times I’ve told you not to get your hopes up.”
“What if I promise not to laugh? I want you to tell me when things are troubling you.”
Petyr held his gaze. “Thinking of you suffering if I left sent a chill through me. I’m scared of what that might mean.”
“What it might mean? That you’re a good person who cares about others?”
“That maybe I already love you.”
As elated as Rollo felt at those words, he didn’t like Petyr associating the idea with being scared. “Why does that scare you?”
“Never loved anyone before. Except my parents. And these two. Nora was different. It was infatuation and lust and then necessity. I don’t understand how I can feel so certain and uncertain at the same time.”
Rollo rose and sat beside him. “Does sound a bit like love.”
“You don’t think I could just be confused by all that’s hap
pened? Being sick and needing help? Seeing you again? And what’s happened between us?”
“I’d say it’s normal to be confused by all of it. I was just thinking how stupid it is that no one would question me saying I already love your children and yet they might lift an eyebrow if I said I loved you.”
Petyr went completely still, his gaze fixed on the ground.
“See? Exactly what I mean. When I said yesterday that I already loved Adam and Ellie, you didn’t even blink. But I suggest I love you and you look terrified.”
Petyr shook his head furiously and turned to Rollo. “No. Not terrified. Surprised. I’ve never been afraid of you or of being your mate. Nervous, yes, but never scared.”
“But loving me is still scary?”
Petyr ignored the question. “Are you saying you love me?”
“Yes, Petyr, I am. Let’s be plain about it. I love you and your children. I want us to be joined by the mate bond, officially, and even get married, if you like. I want to celebrate and have a huge party to show everyone how happy I am and how perfect these two are.” He paused, looking at them. “I swear, they are perfect. Just sitting here while we practically ignore them.” Rollo kissed them both on the forehead.
Petyr laughed. “You never know. They might be saving it all up. I hear trouble starts around age two.”
“Well, you won’t be alone when that day comes.”
Petyr reached over for his hand. “I know.” He glanced up. “Can we wait a few days to tell everyone?”
Rollo tilted his head, trying to retrace the conversation. “Um … what are we telling them? Everyone’s sure to notice you’ve been turned.”
Petyr looked confused, but then he blinked and shook his head. He groaned before smiling. “I’m saying yes. Fuck, I didn’t even say yes. Just carried on talking.”
“Well, it wasn’t a formal proposal. A formal declaration, I guess, but…” He trailed off. “Wait. Yes? You’re saying yes to the mate bond?”
Petyr nodded. “Yeah. What’s the point in acting like the gods got it wrong? We’re a good match. Don’t you think?”
“Yes, I do, but you do realize Helen will know you’ve accepted me the moment she sees my face, don’t you?”
Petyr’s eyes gleamed with a hint of mischief. “But your mate asked you to wait a few days. Shouldn’t you control yourself to comply with his wishes?”
Adam grunted and began trying to wiggle out of Rollo’s arms.
Rollo let him down but kept hold of his hand. “I can try, but no promises.”
Petyr put Ellie down and stood to walk beside her.
Rollo rose as well, and they plodded along slowly, guiding the children and trying to keep them out of danger on the gravelly path. “If I could’ve looked into the future a week ago, I’d never have believed this,” he said.
“Hmmm, you might not have that smile on your face when I’m writing pamphlets and demanding the king’s attention,” Petyr said, that gleam in his eyes again.
“Oh, I’m looking forward to it. My life’s been boring far too long,” Rollo said, happy when Petyr laughed in response.
****
Petyr flipped back to the index of the large book yet again. He quickly turned to the appropriate page and began reading, his eyebrows rising more with each sentence. Rollo sat on the floor with the children at the other end of the library, and Petyr sat back and watched them as he tried to absorb what he’d just read.
Adam had learned that Rollo would immediately retrieve anything he threw and seemed to have turned this into a game with the blocks and stuffed toys spread before him.
“Something interesting?” Rollo asked when he looked up about a minute later.
“Did you know that vampires used to sell their blood to demons?”
“No. Was it outlawed or did the vampires come to their senses?”
“Outlawed. Took decades to truly put a stop to it.”
“As if demons needed more help to do mischief. Were they drinking it?”
“Yes. And using it for spells. According to this, the Blood Clan acted as go-between when the law took effect.”
“Really? Up until recently, I couldn’t imagine them doing business of any kind with vampires.”
“Is there really that much animosity?”
“For centuries, yes. But under the present leader, things are improving. I hear she’s making lots of changes. I don’t think the Blood Clan will be breaking up their little tribes and settling down in villages and cities in the near future, but I’ve heard news of progress.”
“I guess it’s different for vampires. Living so long, I mean. You always see things change. You have more of a chance.”
“True, but it’s still proportionate, I think.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. I think sometimes the long lifespan can make vampires too stoic. I think people will listen to you because of your passion.”
Petyr flipped back to another part of the book. “And did you know about the blood brothels?”
“I’ve heard of them.”
“I sort of thought they were just rumors. But it says there used to be several in almost every city. Even some in smaller towns and villages.”
“People have always liked sex.”
“But paying to be bitten? To be in orgies? Letting multiple vampires just…” He turned the page. “I mean, if you like that, it’s your business. But seeking it out that deliberately seems a bit much.”
“I imagine many humans hoped to be accidentally turned. Or find out they were a vampire’s mate. And there was the appeal of the taboo factor. Ordinary brothels were tolerated up until the last century, as long as you paid the right person. Blood brothels were always illegal.”
Petyr turned a few more pages. “I’m learning so much but still not finding exactly what I’m looking for. Laws governing medical practice are a bit convoluted.”
“It may take a while.”
“I know.” Petyr turned to the index again, but then he sat back. “Is it a problem? Humans coming on to you, I mean.”
“I’ve never had much of a problem, but it happens.”
“Never? I don’t believe that.”
Rollo laughed. “And why not? I lead a pretty ordinary life. Don’t meet many new people at all. And I’m not rich. Well off, but not like most vampires.”
“But you’re so handsome. I bet some people come to the inn just for you.”
Rollo shrugged. “Occasionally it’s obvious a guest is interested in that.”
“Is it hard not to give in to temptation?”
“I don’t think anyone else will ever appeal to me again. I’m quite pleased with who I have in my bed now.”
Petyr shook his head. “Not fair. You know what I mean.”
“Maybe. Do you mean people throwing themselves at me because they think sex with a vampire will be ten times better than any sex they’ve ever had?”
“Exactly.”
“It’s more annoying than anything.”
“Sex with you was ten times better than any I’ve ever had. More than ten times, I’d say.”
Rollo’s eyes darkened. “Then we’re well matched. And very lucky.” He smoothed the blanket on the floor beneath him and said, “I gave in to temptation, as you put it, once. She was beautiful and sweet. And I didn’t regret it, even though it was brief.”
“She came here to seduce you?”
“I don’t think so. She seemed a bit startled to meet me, at first. But then she was fascinated. It was about five years ago.”
“Did she stay long?”
“No. Four nights. Two of them spent with me.” Rollo shifted to his knees when Adam pushed to his feet.
Petyr stood and walked over to Adam, bending and picking him up when the little boy reached for him. “We should take these two out for some air and sunshine.”
Rollo stood and picked Ellie up. “Any reason you were asking?”
“Just curious. I’ve read so much today about the way vampires are fetishized.”
/>
Rollo laughed. “Not sure I like that word, but it is an issue. Like those girls you mentioned in your village. Dreaming of being a vampire’s mate. As if they’d suddenly be whisked off to a fantasy world.”
“It is a bit of a fantasy, I think.”
“Is it?” Rollo asked, moving closer.
“Oh yes. Someone to help change diapers. Someone to poke in the middle of the night when I don’t feel like seeing who’s crying. Someone else to feed this one and get covered in food,” Petyr said, tickling Adam’s belly and laughing along with him.
“Watch it. He had a little snack before I brought them in here.”
Petyr stopped. “What was it?”
“Half a banana.”
“That’ll cause trouble from the other end. Which I’ll let you handle.”
Rollo smiled and leaned over to kiss him. “You were trying to be cute and funny, but this is like a fantasy for me. I never pictured children in it, but now I can’t imagine being happy without them around.”
Petyr kissed him back. “Good. They’ve gotten very attached to you.”
“Have they?”
Petyr nodded slowly. “Oh yes. And you’ve given me some pretty good reasons to stay as well.”
“Reasons that don’t involve diapers?”
“They definitely do not involve diapers.” Petyr reached for Rollo’s hand and led him out into the hallway and then through the back door. When he turned back, the smile on his vampire’s face rivaled the brightness of the twin suns overhead.
Chapter Seven
Two Weeks Later
Rollo read Jareth’s letter a second time before refolding it, and then he opened one from his brother, Noric. His brother’s enthusiasm surprised him. Both of his brothers could be so serious, and he’d worried they might be a bit skeptical about his reunion with Petyr. Noric hinted that he might have some news by the time the ceremony came, and that had Rollo’s mind racing. Working as a steward would bring Noric into contact with lots of people. He smiled as he wondered if his brother had found his mate as well. His parents had written back immediately and were already on their way, if nothing had come up to delay them. Rollo had tried to prepare Petyr for his mother’s enthusiasm and hoped he’d done a good job, as they’d be arriving soon.
