by D. M. Burns
All the secrets I’ve compiled over the years, no matter my reasoning, came to a head that day with that one lonesome lie. I needed to respect his request. This is where that mind over matter is supposed to come into play, huh grandpops? What about my heart though gramps? You never told me how to handle the blowback. I’m tired of suffering too.
I pray for that numb aftermath, so I don’t have to deal with the way I feel anymore. It comes and goes. Sometimes hitting me harder than others. Tipping my glass back, I down my liquid love while washing away that sour taste of hate from those reflections. It’d be nice if the next round could be laced with vodka but that’s not happening either.
“Asia, that dress is stunning, but you work it like a fashion icon queen.” That deep voice is familiar and safe.
Breaking my crowd surfing stare, I swivel around, and my lips tip up with a smile. “Hey, you.” Deke’s black hair is slicked back tonight, and the Italian perfection of his flesh is wrapped up in a tailored suit that would make the boss of his family envious. He’s looking every bit like a mob boss baller instead of a bodyguard. “You look like you’re ready for the flashing lights yourself Deke.”
“I clean up well babe. Ashlin talked you into coming, huh?” He smirks at me.
“It’s good networking but yeah.” I shrug. “Are you working tonight?”
“Nope. I’m here for an entirely different reason.” He nods his head toward the dance floor. “Come on and dance with me, beautiful.”
Deke reaches out and takes my hand. I barely have time to set my glass down before he leads us toward the dancing bodies of glitz and glamour. When he stops, he tugs me into his wall of muscle wrapping me in those bulky arms, secure. I let out a sigh and smell him. Weird, huh?
It’s the little comparisons that make me want to kick my own self. Deke’s scent smells like a woodsy-refined, all alpha type of man. Renegade is expensive spice with a fruity aftermath, my favorite. I curl my arms around his neck and dip my chin into his shoulder. Staring off at the people around us not really seeing anything at all, blurred details in the atmosphere.
“What are you waiting for babe?” Deck whispers as his oversized hand drapes across my lower exposed back. His question catches me off guard and I tilt back and stare at him.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Why are you waiting to live, Asia?” There’s no edge to his voice. He’s not passing judgment. He’s genuinely interested.
“Well… I’m cautiously getting there, big guy.” I smile and he shakes his head then lifts his chin.
“You ready to give me a shot?”
“You really like damaged goods, huh?” I tease.
“If your damaged goods then recycling is going to become my new hobby, baby girl. I’ll have you know that my families been in that business for generations over.” I can’t help the giggle that escapes my lips. He’s good.
“Yeah, well why did you stray from the wolf pack?” This guy's family is known for their mob ties but it’s a taboo subject.
“I’m the black sheep of the fam babe. You didn’t know?” He chuckles.
Deke pulls me in, and I wrap my arms around his shoulders slowly moving to the music surrounding us. Allowing my eyes to roam over the people in attendance until they come into sight, I’m deadlocked. I actually hear my heart's engine sputter and stop. Then in slow motion, it crashes to the pit of my stomach then imploding up through my chest. It was bound to happen.
Gulping down the flames, I let out a long sigh as Renegade’s hand inches up the side of his curvy blonde companion. Coincidently, it’s the same chick that was deep throating Ren’s dick like an Olympic sport a few months back in his office. Fucking great. Free and clear break, not. I’m not going to lie this burn’s deep.
Renegade is in a black suit with a gray button-down shirt and his hair is styled in his signature ponytail at the back of his neck. He looks good, damn good. He looks happy as he smiles down at the beautiful blonde tuck into his side. Emotional suicide.
In my peripheral, I see the Grim Reaper’s cloak and dagger trademark style. His skeletor ass is wielding that large scythe while mutely laughing. This asshole loves his job. Pieces of my bloody heart are flying all around the Porsche Center’s exquisite marble floor. Nightmare madness.
Renegades face peers up and hunts the room as if he senses me eavesdropping on him. I clutch Deke’s shoulders when those silver slots touchdown on mine. Ren drops his hand from around his blowjob buddy and pushes away from her leaving the circle of bodies behind in his pursuit. The blonde is staring at his back like she just lost her puppy. Boo-hoo bitch, not.
It feels like a tiny victory when he doesn’t even bother to give her an explanation. In the back of my mind I know I shouldn’t feel this way. But I do and I can’t help how my heart reacts. If I could, I’d have turned it off years ago. Sadly enough, it doesn’t work that way. He’s moving in my direction with gallant posture and a sure stride, confidence overflowing.
Deke moves us fluently breaking my view of Renegade. His grace on the dance floor is a nice distraction but not for long. Yeah, let’s pretend like this little peek-a-boo bullshit wasn’t a sinister bloodbath to the middle of my chest. Jesus.
“Is there a reason why Renegade Carter is moving people out of his way to get to us? Eye’s locked on you might I add.” Deke asks with humor lacing his voice.
“Uhmm. Well…” I stumble over my words. “It’s complicated.”
“Oh… That’s your guy, huh?” I wished that were true. Deke draws me in close. “Let’s give him a motivational kick in the dick then.”
With those words, he leans in and kisses me deeply. I have no time to process his actions. I’m just going to keep it real, he’s a talented Italian. It makes me rethink my shit decision to brush him off. This is worth investigating at a later date, much later. That is if Renegade doesn’t kill us first.
When I lose the warmth of his lips Deke whispers in my ear, “Better than I imagined. It’s also an effective wake-up call for your boy. If he doesn’t come for you after this, I’ll steal you away. Make no mistake about that.” He winks at me with a devilish grin playing on his face. When I hear Ren clear his throat, my head snaps to the side. He’s standing in front of us, fists clenched and jaw ticking.
“Well hell. Renegade Carter… Long time no see. How’s it going, man?” Deke’s voice is light and amused.
These two men are equal in bulk and destruction. Deke tucks me into his side protectively. Ren’s eyes are glued on his hand at my side and he doesn’t even acknowledge Deke’s comment. Those silver bullets inch up to mine. I can see the Renegade wants to come out and play in a dirty south kinda way.
“Dance with me, Asia.” He says.
It’s not a request. It’s an order. Ren’s voice is dangerously low and the strain in his tone is telling. He wants to throttle Deke but out of respect for this event, he’s hanging onto his Ruthless Tendencies. This is the calm before the hailstorm. Deke squeezes my side and I look up at him. He quirks his eyebrows in question and I nod in answer.
“If you need me, I’ll be right over there.” Deke points off to the side.
“We don’t need a god damn chaperone, Garrison.” Ren cuts his glare over to Deke. His jaw has stepped it up a notch to constant twitching now. “If I want security, I call my fucking office, yeah?”
“Wasn’t talking to you, Carter. And fuck your security.” Deke growls.
“It’s okay Deke,” I whisper while patting his back. Hopefully, that’ll coax him into finding a safe distance away from us. Enough space where these two aren’t likely to throw blows.
“In other words, get the fuck on,” Ren nudges his head off to the side with a glint in his eyes that begs for Deke to say another word.
Ren looks back to me and wastes no time stepping up and taking exactly what he wants, me. He wraps his large arm around my lower back and moves us away from Deke. If I’m not mistaken, I hear Ren growl. Deke barely stifles his laughter as
he walks to the side of the dance floor where he said he’d be.
“I didn’t know you’d be here Ren,” I say. It’s the truth. Had I known; I would’ve stayed home.
“You didn’t take the contract on the space you wanted. Why?” His jaw is clenched tight, but his body never misses a beat keeping up with the tune that doesn’t even register in my mind.
“It was nice of you to offer that but it’s not a good idea Ren.” I see the faint evidence of lipstick smeared on his collar and I look off to the side. Shit, that stings too. I clear my throat.
“It’s your dream.” He says.
“Yeah, my dream Renegade. Not yours. Please go back to your date.”
“It’s not like that Asia.” He clasps onto my chin gently and pulls my attention to his silver stare.
“It’s none of my business Ryice.” I hiss through gritted teeth. He tucks me closer to his body and leans down into me. So close that I can feel his breath across my neck.
“You fucking Garrison brown sugar?” He snarls. I almost trip over my own feet. Damnit. He steadies me in his arms.
“And that’s none of your business. Jesus.” I whisper.
“You’d be wrong about that Asia.” He chuckles. “I came by your apartment, but the new locks were my hint that the welcome mat is no longer rolled out for me.” He tilts his head to the side. “I’ve come by almost every fucking day and you know it. You changed your number too, huh? We need to talk.”
Yeah, I cried from behind my door every time I saw him too until I stopped looking through the peephole. Slowly, I shake my head from side to side pinching my nose with my thumb and forefinger.
“Ryice, I can’t play the hate games with you anymore. It’s not healthy and sorry but sex constitutes commitment for me now.” I arch my brow. “I’m completely thrown off by the fact that you’re even talking to me. Our last conversation was, well… Supposed to be our last.”
We stop moving but he doesn’t release me. Nervously, I look off to the side and wonder what kind of idiots we must look like. Standing still in the middle of the dance floor, Christ.
“I was pissed the last time we talked. Were both god damn liars Asia. Me for saying I was done with you when I’m anything but fucking done. And you for continuing to protect that sick motherfucker that raped you. Save your shit too. I know the truth.” He whispers out in aggravation while those silver lasers bounce between mine. “Maybe you did what you thought you had to five years ago, but now this shit that your pulling is by choice. And this just in brown sugar, new locks won’t keep me out when I get ready to come the fuck in. You’ve been warned.”
“Renegade don’t okay.” My voice is rising so I calmly breathe through my nose, control. “This is not the time nor the place. We’ll have to talk at some point but not tonight Ren. Not here, not now.” I turn my shaky ass around leaving him on the dance floor while I move in Deke’s direction.
“You okay?” Deke asks.
“Yeah. I’m going to head home. I’m tired.” I say.
“I’ll walk you out.” Deke hugs me tightly.
I inwardly cringe knowing how this must look to Renegade. Even though he’s clearly here with blowjob barbie. I hate that I even care but I do, too much. When I feel Deke’s frame shaking, I tilt back and stare at him as the laughter rolls off his body.
“What?” I ask.
“He just flipped me off.”
“He comes by it honestly. That’s the Rage in him.” I smirk and shake my head.
“You put those beautiful lips on me again, he’ll probably purpose at the stroke of midnight.” I slap Deke with my clutch while smiling from ear to ear as we head for the exit.
chapter 31 - renegade
Another successful commercial property purchase is underway, and my snarky mood prompts me over to my in-office bar to celebrate. This most recent strip mall steal that Asia was looking at has me climbing the ranks of a property hood rich warlord extraordinaire. Which reminds me, I need to call Rampage. Pull him in to handle this bankable business transaction too. This financial shit is his specialty, not mine.
Purchasing these commercial properties is the best investment I’ve ever made. It’s smart and lucrative. The rent alone will pad my bank account. In a few years’ time, if I choose to, I can sell and easily turn a profit.
The only downside to this method of my madness is quite chilling though. When Asia finally gets her fill of my bullshit, she’ll show face. Which is my ultimate goal but damn. In my mind, I’m visualizing a red-eyed mortal gorgon of Medusa that’s sure to materialize at any given moment, without warning. Snakes and all. In the flesh. Ready to attack. My little ninja demon will be hellbent on slaughtering me. The only thing she’ll be turning to stone is located down south, in my briefs. That shit has me laughing out loud.
One way or the other she’s going to have to relent and come to me. To be honest, I look forward to it. I can wait her out. Hell, I’ve already waited for five years. I’m a patient motherfucker. This should be a walk in the park.
After Rebel confirmed what I already knew in my heart, I moved my ass. Only to find out that she cut off all routes of verbal and physical communication that I had to her. Every-fucking-thing. Changed her locks. Changed her number. I’m relying on the surveillance around her apartment and tracker on her car for any insight. Grasping at anything.
Her schedule and roadmap whereabouts are key for me. At this point, my obsession has exceeded the boundaries of fucking healthy. I’m worse than Reese’s Pieces ever was with her Shirley Holmes stalker bullshit. That’s another story altogether though. #Rage
I felt her before I saw her last week at the Porsche Center. That sixth sense shit’s nothing new when it comes to Asia. It’s been that way since high school. And just to clear the fog out of the room, I did not show up or leave with the French-Portuguese chick. She slithered up to me while I was in conversation. But the explosion of a fucking plot twist revolves around that motherfucker, Deke Garrison. That was new territory for me. It felt like my heart exploded in my fucking chest, deadly shrapnel connecting with all other vital organs.
When his god damn lips touched hers, I pictured myself taking the bastard down in an epic tackle that would rival any collision throughout my entire peek football career claim to fame. Her lips belong to me, god damnit. She is mine. I wanted to break his ass in half. He knew it too. Little fucker. I’ve already got a plan for visiting Mr. Garrison later in the week. His ass won’t be happy to see me but fuck him.
Watching Asia and Deke the dickbag leaving the gala together had your boy tore the fuck up. Needless to say, I followed her ass straight to her apartment. And that’s where shit got interesting. The asshole in me was curious. If I’m honest, he was also desperate. To see her. Be near her. Talk to her. Any-fucking-thing her.
Keep in mind that Mr. Sensible was nowhere to be found, figures. That motherfucker apparently went on vacation and took all my damn common sense with him too. So, the asshole in me was left unsupervised, bad mistake. That guy had questions brimming over and he went out on his own without permission demanding answers.
After I cornered Asia at the front door, she politely told me that she was too tired to talk. The first and notably only inquiry I had was about her depleted state. So, I asked if her exhaustion was from extra time spent riding Deke’s dick? That was the only question I had time to ask because she slammed the damn door in my face. Without answering me of course. That asshole in me is hardcore. Wood chips literally bounced off my forehead from impact.
Could I have forced my way in? Abso-fucking-lutely. But Asia was done with my bullshit for the night. When she gets like that, it’s best to leave her alone. Poking the angry side of Asia will have your ass laid up in a hospital room wondering how the fuck you got there in the first place. There was no need to go through all that trouble or at least not right then. I’ll simply do what I do best, wait her out. Those brown sugar eyes will find their way to me eventually.
My phone vibra
tes in my pocket and I pull it out to see an active alert for activity outside of our little ninja’s apartment now. As I’m opening the app to view the surveillance feed, Reese’s Pieces busts her way through my door. Yeah, she didn’t knock.
Normally, the lovely little chick name after sweet chocolate always knocks and waits for permission before entering. Not too long ago she walked in on Rebel in his office with a lady friend. I’m pretty sure your thinking, big deal, huh? Well, that might be so if Rebel hadn’t tied the bitch submissively to his chair, ball and gag style. All the while fisting her hair and pounding that pussy out from behind to a tune that resembled a silent cry for 911 emergency services.
Apparently, it marred her sweet docile image of Rebel and scarred her mentally. After that episode of rope-and-romp with Rebel, she made it a rule to never barge into our offices anymore. Not today though. Surprisingly she looks fucking pissed too.
Reese doesn’t say a single word to me. She prowls in my direction with an irate expression. I’m going to be honest here. I feel fucking corner off with a mini Rage in heels set loose in my domain. It’s a fucking good look for her husband to exploit. Keep in mind, I’m not the husband here. Fuck.
When she’s in reaching distance, she prods hard at my chest with that built-in switchblade and it doesn’t stop there, no. It’s at this moment that I decide to set my drink down because it looks like this is going places. Notably, at a fast pace to Fuckville.
“You.” POKE.
“Leave.” POKE.
“My.” POKE.
“Best.” POKE.
“Friend.” POKE.
“The.” POKE.
“Fuck.” POKE.
“Alone.” POKE.
“Asshole.” POKE.
“Whooaa. Damn. Reese’s Pieces. What did I do now?” I rub at her little God-given finger blade sustained injuries that are multiplying at a fast rate. While cowering away from any other possible damage to come my way.
“What the fuck Renegade Carter.” She squeals. Her little face is flushed with anger.
