by Ludwig Tieck
CHAPTER VII.
Some days had elapsed and the Counsellor of Parliament had not seen hisson. Franz, the old domestic, had in the mean while set out on ajourney, and Joseph, as well as the female servants had not ventured todisturb Edmond. The father was deeply concerned, for his son had neverbefore so pointedly avoided him. His grief lay principally in thefeeling, that he could not simply take the shortest and most naturalway, with all a father's authority, to force an entrance into his room,which was always locked, and to question him about his condition. Helearned from Joseph, that his son always locked himself in, that he washeard to sigh, nay, to weep, and that at night he would steal out towander about on the mountains, and then would as secretly return in themorning, and avoid every body, in order to go and shut himself up againas before. He seemed also to observe a rigid fast, for he took no foodand sent away every thing that was offered to him. "I no longerunderstand him," said the old man to himself, as he was left once morealone; "his high-wrought feelings destroy him, and I, his father, mustsee him go to ruin without being able to do anything to save him. Atlength the dark spirits are roused, that I have so long heard in theirslumbers; they have now assuredly taken possession of his soul."
It was late, and the night was still and dark; he dismissed theservants, in order to be able to converse uninterruptedly with his son,for it appeared to him an indispensable duty to make himself acquaintedwith his condition, the uncertainty of which weighed more painfully onhis heart than the conviction of an actual misfortune would have done.He took therefore the master-key, in order to ascend the greatstaircase, when he heard the door of his son's room opened; he stoodstill, and a ghastly pale figure in a dusky green coarse doublet,descended towards him, his gun was slung over his shoulder, his hair inwild disorder, his eyes dim, "Oh heaven!" exclaimed the father, "Ithink I see a spirit, and it is you my son!"--He tottered, andtrembling was compelled to sit down on the stairs. "Is it you inreality?"--"It is myself," answered Edmond in a hollow voice. "How?"said the old man, "thus, in this figure? thus ill? in this dress? youlook though as like a Camisard, as if you were one of them."--"It is sotoo," answered the son, "I am now going up into the mountains to them."
The father started up violently, he seized his son powerfully in hisarms, and thus carried him with supernatural strength into the saloon;he placed him in an armchair, took the candle, looked at himscrutinizingly and examined his whole figure, seized him by the breastand cried out vehemently: "Wouldst thou act thus to me, unnaturalson?"--
"Yes," answered Edmond coldly, "I cannot do otherwise, I must!--leaveme! I thought, however, for once that I should win your approbation."
"As a rebel?" cried the Counsellor of Parliament in a vehement voice,"as a murderer? that I must see die under martyrdom at the gallows? tooutrage my grey hair? one whom the father must deliver up into thehands of the executioner?"
The son looked at him fixedly, but coldly and collectedly; the fatherwas deeply affected at it, but, at this ghastly look, had lost thestrength which supernatural terror had lent him for a moment, andweeping aloud, he fell upon his son, who threw his arms round him,embraced him, and by his caresses sought to console the afflicted oldman, "Oh, my son!" began the father, after a long pause, ofteninterrupted by sobs, "for many years I have not experienced thesetokens of affection in you, and now in this terrible moment, in whichmy whole life vanishes as in a dream, in which you have so violentlytorn my heart!--I cannot recover myself, I cannot question you, andwhat shall I experience if my entreaties, my love, if nothing willbreak your stubborn, enigmatical will? Oh, God of love! is there, inall the feelings thou hast created, one more fervid than that of afather to a child? and do we know the tremendous affliction we implore,when we entreat heaven for children?"
They remained long clasped in each other's arms, at length Edmond said:"Let me depart with your blessing, my father."
"That I cannot give to your dreadful designs," replied the Counsellor;"It is so fearful, that I must still look upon you and myself as twospectres."
Both were silent for a long time. At last the father said: "I will notentreat of you to go to rest, for I greatly fear that you will not obeyme, it is fruitless also that I should seek for repose in sleep, forslumber would flee from my shaken brain; what I may learn to-morrow, Imay as well hear to-day; if I can conceive, if I can comprehend thatwhich is incomprehensible, perhaps, it would terrify me less, perhaps,I shall yield to grief and sorrow, and necessity, as to the storm,or the earthquake; but from this spectral terror, from this almostmask-like enigma, which threatens to drive me mad, deliver me at leastfrom this by speech and narration."
"Can it be expressed, my father?" began Edmond, "will you comprehendwhat I myself cannot understand with my common knowledge? We should notindeed comprehend, if this hall round us were suddenly turned intoHesperian gardens, but we should enjoy the fruit, we should live andexist in the miracle, even though by that means we should forget thatyet some other knowledge were wanting."
"Has that delirium also taken possession of you," cried the old man,"in its peculiar way and wrapped you in the folds of its darkvestments? now I would have sworn that you were free from that! and yetI should have done wrong, for all fanaticism is but the twinborn of theapparently most improbable and inimical."
"You speak what your mind prompts," said the son, "and I understand youperfectly, but you do not understand me."
"Well, Edmond, you may be right, only speak, relate to me, perhaps Imay be able to approach nearer to your soul."
"How much I hated these Huguenots," began Edmond, "how much I abhorredtheir war against the king, their fanaticism and prophets, that Idespised the gross deception of those people, I need not tell you, formy irritated feelings made you unhappy and it seems that I am destinedto cause your misery, I may place myself now as then on whatever side Ilike.--"
He stopped for a short time and then returned; "with these sentiments Idressed myself in the peasant's clothes, which were so hateful to me,our friend quitted me, as you know, and I went with his son up into themountains. Florentine jested about our expedition, I was much vexed atand ashamed of my purpose. When we advanced farther into the mountains,some figures glided before us on the solitary footpath, we followed thedirection they took, and arrived with them in about half an hour at alonely barn. They knocked; it was opened to us. I cannot describe thefeeling with which I entered into this rustic assembly. It was aloathing of mind and body. Some were kneeling, others were standingpraying, I approached the latter and tried to imitate them. Everythingwent on quietly, all eyes were bent on the ground, a few old women onlymuttered their psalms between their teeth. All at once a boy abouteight years old fell down as if in convulsions. My repugnance was atits highest pitch, for now I saw before me the deformed spectacle, therelation of which had for many years previously excited my liveliestindignation. The child's breast heaved, he leaped up, and threw himselfdown again, and I thought to have distinctly perceived the voluntaryexertion. All the faithful, hoping and comforted, turned upon him theireyes. Never in my life had I more self-possession, never was I sorock-firm in my conviction; my thoughts became more and more irritated,I only wished myself back again, in order to give free vent to my hatred.Suddenly the child exclaimed in a hoarse voice: 'verily I bless ye,ye shall be blessed!'--Now in the stream which flowed incessantly,came innumerable prayers and exhortations as well as passages from theholy scriptures and their explanation, all in reference to existingcircumstances. I was still more astounded, when the boy cried out:'Beware my brethren; for two traitors have made their way into theassembly, who intend you evil.' I looked up, young Vila turned pale, hewas standing at the door, and slipped out, when it was opened to newcomers. 'One is escaped,' groaned the child as he still lay with hiseyes and senses closed, 'but the second mocker is still present, heknows not that I, the Lord, have led him hither, that he may become oneof mine.' I was terrified, my inmost soul was moved and emotions rosein my heart, which I had never experie
nced before. They began to singpsalms, and however discordant they may have sounded, they made nounpleasant impression on me, my mind followed the glorious words? themisfortune of these desolate creatures, their contrition before theLord, the fearful haughtiness of their adversaries, vibrated andshrieked heartrendingly in this unharmonious lamentation; it appearedto me absurd that until now harmony had been necessary to me when Iwished to raise my heart in prayer. Does not the universal lament ofcreation strike on his ear? Do not praise and thanksgivings with tearsand cries of sorrow rise equally to his throne? To this feeling wereadded many more, and weak, poor and unintelligible did the whole courseof my past life appear to me. Do these statues, lights and temples thenmake any difference, said I to myself, with all this pomp of riches andsplendour? will the Lord who walked bound as a slave among us, andsuffered himself to be illtreated, will he not be mocked through it? Donot these wretched beings represent him anew before our eyes? can I notin each one of these persecuted ones greet himself? feed, clothe, andprotect him?--Then I felt as if all the sorrow and strife, which thesemountains have endured for years were piercing in countless multitudesthrough my own wounded breast. Another boy now fell down and cried, 'goout into the wood, Elias, Marion, and some of the faithful areapproaching, they have strayed; induce them to come with psalms, forto-day, you have no persecution to fear.' Some went out from theassembly, and sang with loud voices, and soon afterwards returned witha great number of enthusiasts, among whom a tall man advanced, who wasrespectfully saluted by all. 'Triumph!' said the child aloud, stillprostrate on the ground, 'the disbeliever is overcome, he will enterinto the kingdom of the Lord.' Then I felt the blow of a great hammersuddenly against my breast. I struggled with this feeling, andconquered it. The humble divine worship of this poor pitiablecongregation was continued with psalms, and calmly uttered inspireddiscourses. Marion spoke the word of life, which penetrated through allmy faculties; in what dreadful error I had been wandering untill then!All contingencies vanished, it was granted to me to look upon the Lord,and the strength of his miracles in their simple glory, and to beholdhis meek and lowly form. If until then my soul had been onlyovershadowed by pomp, legends, false emotions and artificialelevations; as splendid hanging of silk and gold only confine the purerays of celestial light, and give but a false brilliancy to its glory.My heart was contrite and as a wound of sorrow and emotion; my spiritwas like that of a child. The Most High stood by my side, and stretchedout his bleeding hand to me, which had been now again pierced by usmiserable wretches. The glance from his tearful eyes went to my soul,then I was filled with wrathful melancholy and joyful sorrow, and inthis emotion, I was smitten again when the assembly dispersed. What isnature? this question I had often asked myself when I rambled withenthusiasm through wooded mountains and verdant valleys magicallylighted and covered with the breath of morning, embalmed by the freshzephyrs, and filled with all the lovely presentiments which inspire uswith such pleasing dreams. Oh, my father! now I understand the deepwailings in the woods and in the mountains, in the gurgling stream, theword of the Eternal himself and his almighty compassion on us unhappy,lost creatures, was murmured to me from every wave and from everybough. With a million of tongues the countless foliage reproached mynegligent tardiness. My eye pierced through the past and future, mythoughts were adoration, my feelings holy devotion.
"I plunged into the thickest woods and gave a free course to my flowingtears, I now received the third summons and I no longer resisted it. Inthe solitude of night, my whole being was absorbed in prayer andthanksgiving, wonderously the strongest words poured forth without theslightest exertion, as tears flow without design, as wave follows wavedown the stream, as the wind puts in motion the numberless foliage ofthe forest, thus led by a higher and invisible spirit, my speech waschanged into prophecy. A new being arose within me, I no longerrecognised that of yesterday. In the mirror of my inmost soul anothereye, different from my own, met mine, nevertheless this was reallymyself. Now resting, now walking, I found myself in the twilight ofmorning in the district of Sauve among the recesses of the mountains.You know, my father, the lofty situation of the dreary landscape there,no tree, no shrub, scarcely a solitary blade of grass upon the barren,white chalky waste, and as far as the eye extends, trunks of trees,heaps of lime stones in all shapes, like men, animals and horses,dazzling and fatiguing the sight, spread about, and at intervalsrolling stones, and a little lower down, the small, gloomy, solitarytown. Here I threw myself down again and gazed upon the waste ruinaround, and upon the dark blue sky above me, strange how my spiritwandered there! I cannot explain by any human language, howinstantaneously my heart was impressed with every feeling of belief,with every noble thought, how creation, nature, and the strangestmystery, man with his wonderful energies and his common dependance onthe elements, how vain, how contradictory and ridiculous all thisappeared to me now. I could not collect myself, I was compelledincessantly to follow this train of thought and to find relief in loudlaughter. Then there was no God, no spirit, nothing but puerility,madness, and deformity, in all that creeps, swims, and flies,especially in this ball that thinks, reflects, and weeps, andunderneath devours and masticates. Oh, let me be silent and not againdiscover the maddening images that took possession of my mind,annihilation, dead, cold non-existence appeared to me alone desirableand noble. I was utterly undone, and painful was my return to life, butI at length found it with the help of the compassionate one." Thefather seized his son's hand, "Mark my child," said he mildly, "as soonas all these wonderous sensations shall in wild controversy havetraversed your soul, you will assuredly be yourself again and return tous entirely. Your lacerated heart will resume its tranquility andrepose after these commotions, and then will your understanding andfree will abandon your fearful purpose."
"Never! my father," exclaimed the youth with sudden vehemence, "thiswas my temptation in the wilderness, which the All Merciful shortenedto a few hours, and then opened his paternal arms to me again. It mighthave lasted for weeks and months, had he not been willing to shewcompassion to my weakness. You believe me not, you doubt, but what willyou say if I give you the most undeniable proofs, that this myenlightening is no false, or artificial one, if you will even becompelled to own to me, that I not only know myself by this, but alsoall that is unconnected with me."
"What do you mean by that?" demanded the old man bewildered, "I do notunderstand you, my son."
"When I resumed my human feelings and had refreshed myself, I wanderedagain to the green wood that extends towards Florac, there, where therocks assume a grand character as far as the mountains of Lozere. Theplace pleased me and I passed the night in the open air.
"What did you do on this second night of my absence? where did Franzremain? do you think that I do not know all?" The father looked at himwith fear.
"What do you know?" asked he stammering. "When I again turned mythoughts on the Saviour," said the son, "and endeavoured to account formy bewilderment, in order to assist my researches, I felt compelled tothink on you, on my sister and on our house, thus will it assuredly beafter death, the soul will still cast lingering looks after itscherished old nature and be unable for a length of time to comprehendits new thoughts and strange existence. Suddenly, when my ardent desirewas accomplished; I saw you; all was still in the house, you went withFranz more quietly than usual and with great caution into the library,the window shutters and doors were closed, there was only one taperburning. With the help of Franz you removed the folios, and at the sametime drew back the first bolt of the by chest, the pressure of a springyou opened the pannel, which slid back into the wall and threw lightinto the little enclosed recess. I saw several small chests standingthere, jewels of costly value were in them, that I never knew of andwhich you never mentioned to me, but Franz seemed to know all. Youopened the cases, arranged them and added some others to them. Franzwept and said: 'So now my wish will be at length accomplished of livingat Geneva in future and openly acknowledging the faith that I have beencompelled to deny here.' Thi
s also was new and unexpected to me. Thenyou embraced the old servant heartily, kissed him on the mouth and saidwith emotion: 'You are now no longer my servant, but my friend, my mostconfidential friend, for to you I confide my entire welfare, myproperty, and my children. God protect you on your way there and back,give these letters into the right hands at the same time with thislittle treasure; steal as you can over the frontiers, then we are safe,and return directly with favourable answers.' That very night, heaccomplished fifteen leagues."
The old man trembled violently; he examined his son doubtingly, hisface was pale. "Where have you seen all this?" demanded he at length."Yonder in the mountains of Lozere, fourteen leagues from here." Therewas a pause. "I must believe you," said the father. "Be it a miracle,delirium, an undiscovered strength of nature; I see, but I understandit not. All is in reality as you have said, but your manner is terribleto me. Do you not then believe, that as you have fallen, in sounusually strange a manner, into this disposition, conviction, andmiraculous gift, there may be also means, which heaven, if you in faithand humility call upon God will open to reconduct you into the ordinarywalk of mankind, far from these fearful rocks upon which you mustinevitably founder."
"You understand me not, I tell you once more," cried the youth,"although I quite understand your meaning. You do not trust the tokenthat I have given you. Yet," added, he smiling, "you are not quite sohardened just now, better thoughts steal over your soul, though alsofrom the region of unbelief."
"And what is it?" asked the father, "you will otherwise make me believethat you are able to penetrate into all the hidden depths of theheart."
"You were thinking just now," said Edmond:--
"Let him take his course, the evil must now have reached its height,perhaps God wills that he should find at length by this more thanwonderful means, his salvation, and that he may learn later to cool byreason and true christian humility, the fanaticism, that now transformhim into a lunatic. Thus do you think of me, thus do you deny thespirit." "My son," said the old man with uplifted looks, "is it a goodspirit that prompts you? is it not perhaps the wild wandering of natureherself in you that transports you beyond her own limits?"
The son cast again that terrifying look on his father, which renderedhim mute.
"You are free," said the old man, "affection alone, not force shouldretain you. Go then and follow the dictates of your own heart. Myprayers shall accompany you, and, may be, they will have the power tomitigate, or ward off the worst."
"Surely you are not opposed to my taking to my poor brethren my smallfortune," said Edmond perfectly tranquillised, "they are more in needof it than we."
"Take also this purse from me," said the father, "I desire not to knowto what purpose you destine it, but the unfortunate men yonder are inwant of it."
"Franz is coming!" exclaimed Edmond; "Where?" enquired theCounsellor:--"He is still far behind the mountains, I see him only withmy inward eyes. The over-cautious old man! he has hidden the letter inhis boot, there he is leaning against an old tree, and is pulling itout. I could read the letter to you if I liked, but I perceive that itcontains good news for you, let that suffice. Permit me now to go,before the old man returns to oppress my heart anew with hislamentations, or to excite my anger."
Father and son long held each other closely embraced; the old Lordseemed overpowered with grief and tears; Edmond gently disengagedhimself from his paternal arms, returned once more and kissed hisfather. With hasty steps he traversed the garden and ascended thevineyard; there he stood still once more, and from thence waved ahandkerchief downwards in salutation, while Franz issued from the woodou the opposite side and held up the letters exultingly in thedistance.
