by Tara Lain
“Uh, Mark?”
She glanced over her shoulder. “Yes. He came by to see if I’d heard from you and how you were doing. When he saw I was struggling, he gave me some ideas. It helped a little.”
Don’t talk about Mark. Don’t talk about Mark. This is Gran’s crisis. Don’t make it about you. “Well, first off, you don’t have to write another blog if you don’t want to. Hell, Christasy’s great, but you’re not obligated to make Granny in Jammys a big deal.”
“You’re right of course.” But her voice sounded strained and she seemed to be stirring the eggs like something out of Sweeny Todd. So, what does she want to hear?
Red said casually, “And, of course, you’re totally capable of being an internet sensation and wowing millions of readers if you feel like it.”
Like someone hit her start button, Gran turned from the stove with a huge smile. “Oh, do you think so?”
“Heck yes. Just be you. Don’t try to make anything different or better. Christasy fell in love with your blog just the way it was. Go back and read some of your old stuff. You’ll get it, no problem.”
“Yes. What a good idea.” A sizzle came from behind her. “Damn, your omelet.” Quickly, she grabbed a plate from the cabinet and plopped a slightly overdone omelet on it.
He chuckled because Gran never swore, got up, and got a glass of water, then settled in to eat his eggs.
Gran gave them both a cup of tea from the always hot water she kept in her kettle. “I almost forgot. I made you a treat.” She produced a covered plate from the back of the refrigerator and placed it in front of him, then pulled off the napkin. “Your favorite.”
“Lemon scones! Thank you, Gran.” As he sunk his teeth into one, he grinned because Gran hadn’t completely forgotten his homecoming.
She sat again. “I really want to succeed at this, Red.” Staring into her tea, she went on. “You never knew my husband, but he was one of those people who couldn’t ever see the good. Anything I wanted to do, he’d scoff, ‘You don’t have the brains to do that. You can’t do that. That’s for talented people.’ Sadly, he did the same thing to your mother. Of course, he felt that way about himself too. He was a foreman at the processing plant over in Franklin County. He just wanted to go to his job, come home for meat and potatoes, and watch TV. And he was a young man.” She shook her head. “I didn’t want to believe him about how talentless I was, but sometimes a part of me did. Then he died suddenly and I was left to solve my own problems. I figured out I could and didn’t look back.”
Red had never heard this before. Gran virtually never mentioned the husband that had vanished from her life so early. To Red, she’d always been capable and strong. “But then you were saddled with me and never got to do anything for yourself.”
She frowned fiercely. “Saddled indeed. You’ve been the joy of my life, Red. But I don’t like to think I can’t succeed at something. Plus, when you marry and move away, it would be good to have, uh, a supplement to my social security and savings.” Weirdly, she gripped her hands together so tight, her knuckles were white. How badly did she want to succeed at this?
But he knew how miniscule her savings were after eighteen years of raising him. “I’ll always be there for you.” But it gave him a chill to think how little she had after so many years of working.
“Thank you, dear.” She patted his hand. “Here I am hogging the conversation when what I really want is to know about your trip. Tell me everything.”
Swallowing a big mouthful, Red plunged in. He told her about Elbey and Jacond and learning to walk all over again. He described getting the photos taken in the beautiful suit, going to dinner in that suit and all the weird people, and then he did an imitation of Coyoten with his stony face.
Gran was smiling, but she said, “It sounds like you met a lot of strange people. Did you like any of them?”
He took another big bite, though the eggs were mostly cold. “Um-hm. I liked Elbey a lot. They were really nice to me.”
“Oh, is Elbey more than one person?”
“Nonbinary. They use the pronoun they.”
“Oh my, I’m so far behind.” She sipped her tea.
Red grinned. “You’re a fast learner. Oh, and I especially liked Mr. Merlinson. He was great. He reminded me of you.”
She leaned forward. “Oh, who was he?”
“Brock’s chauffeur.”
Her face kind of fell. Right, after all the exotic people, he said the chauffeur was like her. Red rushed on. “He was incredible. Like having Gandhi in the front seat. All full of wisdom and good advice. You know, like you.”
That made her smile. “Thank you, dear. So, what else happened?”
Oh crap, he didn’t really want to tell her the next part. “I walked for this guy named Giuliana.”
“The designer?” She looked big-eyed.
Red nodded. Oh crap, oh crap. He rushed ahead. “Brock says Giuliana wants to sign me to this contract to be his ‘face’ and even walk in his Fashion Week show in the fall and I have to be back in New York on Monday.”
Not just a figure of speech, her mouth fell open. A funny mix of emotions flashed across her face. One of them might have been like sad or something. Then she leaped from her chair and yelled, “Yes! Yes, yes, yes! I knew it.” Dancing over to Red, she grabbed him by the arms, pulled him up, and hopped around the kitchen with him.
Red wished he felt as happy.
Chapter Twenty
Fifteen minutes later, Red sat in the living room with Gran, sipping tea. Really, he wanted to go lie down and think—a lot—but he didn’t want to leave Gran alone while she was celebrating. Besides, he had to tell her about his date with Mark. Gag. Sometimes, she seemed to like Mark and others she didn’t.
He sipped and glanced up at her. For the first time that night, he got that Gran was worried about the future. She had Medicare and all, plus the house, but how was she going to live on so little? Hell, he’d take care of her to the day she died—and he didn’t even want to think about that. But earning more than enough money for both of them would sure make things easier.
Gran smiled. “You’re very reflective for a young man who should be bouncing off the ceiling with joy. I honestly can’t believe you let me sit there and moan about my little problems when you had this great news to share.”
“I care about you.” That was the truth as far as it went.
“Are you scared?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll repeat back to you what you said to me. You’re a fast learner.”
“I know.” He sipped. “It’s just—I really like Ever After. I mean except for a few things.”
“You’re not leaving Ever After.”
He looked up and couldn’t help the frown. “Yes, I am. Those guys are regular beck-and-call boys. They need to be there when the agency has a job for them. I don’t think I can live here and be a top model in New York.”
A crease popped between her brows, but then she smiled. “Oh. I guess I didn’t quite think that through. But I’m sure you’ll have lots of chances to come home.”
He didn’t say he doubted that except in his head.
“Where will you be living?” She stared into her tea. She just seemed to accept that he was going to move to New York and that made him sad and a little sick.
He lifted his shoulders and dropped them. “With Elbey, I guess. I imagine I’ll find out everything on Monday.”
“Is leaving home all that’s bothering you?”
“The people are pretty—” He spread his hands. “I don’t know—materialistic.” That was a nice work for craptastic.
“It’s the center of the modern world. You have to expect people to be a bit more grasping than you’re used to here. And I’m sure that Mr. Wolfe will take good care of you.” She said it with such confidence.
Suddenly, he wanted to scream. Everything was just too much. “Will you excuse me if I go to bed early? I’m pretty tired and I have to work tomorrow.”
“Of course, dear. It’s selfish of me to keep you talking. So, you’ll be telling Mom and Pop tomorrow that you’re leaving.” It wasn’t a question.
Nodding, he stood. “I guess so.”
She stood beside him. “Change is always hard, darling. Once you get settled in, imagine all the excitement and fun you’ll have. I’ll bet you even get to travel the world.” Her eyes glowed when she said it.
He gave her a good-night kiss on the cheek and walked toward the stairs, then paused but didn’t turn to her. “Oh, by the way. I’m going out with Mark tomorrow night. Dinner and a movie. I’ll be leaving straight from work.”
There was a pause. “Lovely, dear. Have fun.”
Red trudged up the stairs, stopped in the bathroom for a pee, wash, and toothbrush, then went in his room. After he closed the door and plugged in his phone next to his bed, he yanked off his clothes, put on sleep pants and a T-shirt, and climbed under the covers.
I’m not afraid of going to New York. I’m afraid of making the wrong choices.
He grabbed for the phone as he stared at the ceiling. Hans always had good advice. Red punched the phone.
“Hey, man, I thought you’d vanished, and then I heard you went to New fucking York. How was that?”
“Strange. Okay. I mean, this big designer offered me a contract.”
“No shit?”
“No shit.” Red sighed.
“Uh, so this isn’t good news? I shouldn’t be cheering and looking for your face on, uh, Big Fucking Fashion or something?”
“Try Vogue.”
“I’ll try it if you’re on it.”
Red chuckled, but it didn’t reach his heart. “It’s just that, I’m not sure I want to go.”
“Seriously? Don’t those models make bank?”
“Not as much as you think, I’m told, but yeah. More than I make now, but…”
“But what? You don’t want to be rich and famous?”
“Honestly, I’m not so sure I do.” It felt good to speak the truth.
“If you don’t like it, come back.”
“And let everyone in Ever After think I’m a failure?” Red flopped on his side.
“Hell, man, what do you care?”
Man, he wished that were true. Somehow, having Gran cast big predictions for his future for so many years meant if he quit, it would seem like she was a liar and Red was a loser. “I guess.”
Hans chuckled. “What will Mr. Hung Up on Red do if you leave?”
Red sucked a small breath. Shit, I never told Mark I have to leave Monday. “If you’re talking about Mark, I don’t know.”
Hans’s snarky tone got serious. “Does he know?”
“Not exactly.”
“I’m telling you, man, he’s gay for you. This is going to be hard on him. Who’s he going to stalk?”
This wasn’t working. “Hey, man, I gotta go. I work tomorrow.”
“For the designer?”
“No, dumbass. For Mom and Pop.”
“When will you know what this designer person wants you to do?”
This sigh came from his feet. “Monday.”
“You mean he’s going to send you some kind of offer on Monday?”
“No, I start on Monday in New York.”
“Holy crap.”
“No shit.” Red wiped a hand across his face.
Hans inhaled noisily. “I’ll really miss you, man.”
“Yeah. I’ll miss you too.” He dropped an arm over his eyes to block the heat. “Talk to you soon.” Red clicked off.
He flipped off the light, but his eyes wouldn’t close. He’d really wanted to look forward to his first date with Mark, something Red wanted so much he’d been afraid to hope.
Now, the date was all about saying goodbye.
* * *
Oh shit, I only have half an hour. Red rushed to the back room, flopped on the bench, and dropped his head in his hands. Why did he feel like he’d been here before?
“Oh God.”
It had been one helluva day, starting with telling Mom and Pop that he’d be leaving. They said all the things he’d ever want—how much the restaurant would miss him and even more, how much they would personally. They all hugged and cried, and it broke his heart.
In the middle of the crying part, Kimmie had walked into the restaurant for her shift, and Red wanted to go screaming out the door and never stop running. How could he leave Kimmie?
Finally, he’d met her eyes and she was already crying. She’d guessed, just from Mom and Pop’s faces—and his. She’d dragged him back to their locker room and sobbed all over him, and they’d promised to Skype every day—a crappy substitute for seeing each other in person. But they’d had to start work and had been running ever since, so he hadn’t had the time to tell her he was going out with Mark.
The door burst open and Kimmie ran in. “What’s wrong? Are you sick? Did you catch something in that big dirty city?” Kimmie was a bona fide small-town girl, which didn’t work well with being a big-time chef.
He shook his head but kept holding it.
“What? Crap, I’ve got five tables. Tell me!”
Red looked up. “I didn’t have time to tell you. I’ve got a date tonight.”
“What?” She looked confused. He didn’t date girls.
“With Mark.”
“Holy, 24-carat, 360-degree spherical shit!”
“He asked me last night.”
She clapped a hand over her mouth. “My God, he’s trying to talk you out of going.”
“No. He doesn’t know.”
“What?”
“He asked me outside my house and Gran called me in, so I didn’t have time to tell him.”
“Oh Red.”
Yeah, she knows how awful I feel right now.
“I couldn’t stand to tell him over the phone.” No way he’d risk Mark canceling the date. Maybe they could get in one kiss before the fit hit the shan.
“I understand, but poor baby.” She looked over her shoulder. “I probably have screaming customers. I’ve got to get out there. But call me tonight, okay?”
He nodded and she ran. Two tables were waiting for him to close out before he could leave, so he had to force himself to stand and smile too.
The key word here was force.
Twenty minutes later, Red stood at the front door of the restaurant with Kimmie adjusting his jacket. “You look great. You need to have fun. Hell, how long have you waited for this? And speaking of waiting, I’ll bet he’s willing to wait for you. Now you decide if you want to resist the temptations of Sin City and wait for him.” She stretched up and kissed his cheek. “Go get ’em, Tiger. And don’t forget to come in early tomorrow for the, uh, meeting.” She made air quotes and winked. They both knew the meeting was an impromptu party organized by Mom and Pop for Red. She patted his chest, currently covered in his best white sweater, and then she trotted back to her tables.
Well hell, this is it.
With Kimmie’s advice ringing in his ears, he walked out into the cool evening air and couldn’t keep from smiling when he saw Mark’s truck at the curb.
Mark jumped out and walked around the truck, opened the door, and stood holding it. Talk about announcing his intentions to the world. Forget the two bros going out for pizza. This was a date!
Red walked up to him, feeling some mix of shyness and lust with a dose of dread for the confession he had coming. Still, Mark looked so frigging handsome standing there, Red would have bent over the hood of the truck and found out what the shouting was about.
Mark swept a hand toward the truck in a small bow.
Red pressed a hand to his chest. “Thank you, kind sir.” He glanced back toward the restaurant and saw Kimmie peeking out the window. She was too far to see clearly, but he knew she was grinning like a fool.
The inside of Mark’s truck might be old, but it gleamed, and he had soft music playing on his phone. There was a red rose in one of those little water doohickeys lying on the pass
enger seat. Holy crap!
When Red was buckled in and Mark had circled the truck and gotten into the driver’s seat, Red sniffed his rose and said, “Isn’t this pretty romantic for Ever After, New York?”
“We’re establishing new benchmarks.”
Red laughed as Mark drove away from the curb. “I can’t live up to the standard. I’m just barely out of my apron and probably smell like burgers and fries.”
“You look great. I love you in that sweater. The white’s so pretty against your skin and hair and—” He took a quick look toward Red. “—it sure fits nice.”
Red wanted to say “Who are you and what have you done with silent Mark?”, but he didn’t want to make Mark uncomfortable. Still, wow. From a guy who hadn’t said a word to Red for a year, to red roses? Now that was a transformation.
It was a ways to the restaurant. Mark commented on the songs that came on a couple times and Red told a story about a customer at work, but mostly they were quiet. For once, that quiet was nearly comfortable.
When Mark turned into the parking lot, the butterflies dove into Red’s belly. The few other times he’d been in Mark’s truck, he’d been uncomfortable but fine. After all, they were just acquaintances, and Red had a reason to be with Mark. Now he had a reason too. A date! The hugeness of what he was doing fell on his head like an Acme safe in the old cartoons. When he stepped onto the parking lot, he was coming out of a lot more than Mark’s truck. He was coming out of the closet, almost before he was sure he was in it.
Red practiced breathing until he heard the crunch of Mark’s feet on the gravel and the passenger door opened.
Mark cocked his head. “You okay?”
“Uh, yeah. I mean, I just realized…”
Mark chuckled, low and deep. The sound vibrated through Red’s nether regions and he shifted on the seat. Mark said, “I know. I’ve been psyching myself up for it all day. Having people look at me like, ‘So you’re gay.’ Never had that before.”
Red gave a little laugh that sounded slightly hysterical. “I was so crazy busy today, all I thought about was how fun it would be to go out with you. Not what that would mean to other people. Of course, most people think I might be gay anyway, because of my girlie looks. It’s gotta be a lot worse for you.”
