by Chase Connor
Jason was growling again, his shoulders raising up as heat poured off of him, and his eyes started to glow red. I lowered the envelope arm calmly and raised my other, the flame already visible and ready.
“I’m not kidding,” I said evenly. “Your life means nothing to me. I’ll burn you and this whole piece of shit house down.”
His house wasn’t a “piece of shit.” It was small but fairly nice. Looked well-kept and clean. But I find it best not to pay compliments to people whose lives you are threatening. Takes the sting out of it, really.
Jason’s eyes caught the flicker of the light, and he backed up marginally, his shoulders no longer looking like hackles. His eyes got stuck somewhere between their usual shade of brown and the red color of werewolves. I didn’t lower the hand with the flame, but I pulled it closer to myself and held the envelope out to him once more.
“Do you want the money or not?” I asked. “Because if you don’t take it now, I won’t offer it again. No matter what my grandmother promised to you.”
“You’d defy Esther Jean Wagner?” Jason was amused.
“A lot has changed. I’m a new man, Jason.” I grinned widely. “Actually, I’m my old self again.”
He considered me for a moment, his eyes boring into mine as I held the envelope out towards him, not breaking his stare. Suddenly, he reached up and snatched the envelope away from me. Lowering my arm slowly, so as to not look as shocked as I was by the sudden movement, I kept my eyes on Jason. I didn’t want him to get any sudden ideas that he could take me in a fair fight. I hadn’t gone to Jason’s house with the money, hoping he would attack me so I could set him on fire. That wasn’t my plan at all.
“That all you wanted?” He snarled at me, his eyes now back to brown.
“That’s about the size of it.” Jason just glared at me. “Now you have your money for your puppy, and you can leave us alone, right?”
Jason didn’t respond, but his eyes continued to bore into me—eyes he wisely controlled and kept their usual brown color. For a few moments, I stared back, but then I realized it was like staring into a painting. There were a pair of eyes to stare into, but there was really nothing behind them. Jason didn’t have a thought in his head other than he hated me—even if he had no idea why. Of course, he didn’t have a real reason to hate me. Only orders. Instead of continuing our stalemate, I turned to leave.
“I remember you, ya’ know?” He spat when my back was turned.
I smiled wickedly to myself, feeling justified in the things I’d said to Oma about Jason and his pack.
“Prancing around school.” He snarled. “Always thinking you were so much better than everyone else with your stupid fucking plays. Choir. Your fucking guitar you carried around like you were the next coming of Springsteen. Everyone thought you were such hot shit, but you’re no better than any of the rest of us, ya’ know.”
Damnit.
Jason didn’t really remember me.
My hope had been that he remembered everything and would give me a reason to provoke him into a fight so that I could hurt him.
“Better than you.” I turned my head to answer him over my shoulder.
Before I knew what was happening, Jason had rounded me and came to stand face-to-face with me, his eyes glaring into mine. I could feel the heat coming off of his bare chest as his eyes bore into mine. Somehow, I wasn’t afraid. I didn’t feel like Jason wanted to harm me. He just wanted me to know that I wasn’t better than him.
“Lucas wasn’t like you, ya’ know.” Jason spat in frustration. “He was going to be one of us until you got in the fucking way.”
So…maybe he remembers a little bit.
“Is that what you think?” I had to look up to stare into his eyes with his body so close to mine. “Because he was on the football team with the rest of you Neanderthals you figured he’d be chomping at the bit to join the pack? He’d beg you to bite him, initiate him, and demote him to being a total loser?”
God, he was tall.
He smelled like pine and musk.
Wild dog smell.
“You think that I stole Lucas from you and your litter of puppies?” I scoffed.
“No.”
“Good. ‘Cause, not to burst your bubble or anything, Jason,” I laughed lowly, “but I didn’t have to steal Lucas away from you guys. He never would have wanted to be one of you. Even if I wasn’t around. But I didn’t steal him.”
“You’re a liar.” He stated through clenched teeth.
“You can feel however you want to feel.” I shrugged, my right hand starting to feel warm, ready to produce fire in the blink of an eye. “But that doesn’t make it so.”
Quicker than a human can blink, Jason moved towards me. Sensing the movement, I threw my hand up, the palm of my right hand coming to rest right over his heart. There was barely room between us for my hand to fit there, but Jason stopped when he felt my hand land against his bare chest. Once again, we were staring into each other’s eyes as I felt my hand getting warmer against my enemy’s hairless, bare chest. Jason wasn’t snarling. He didn’t even appear angry; he just looked curious. My face was a blank slate as I stared back at him. Moments ticked by as we froze in this position.
Jason’s head tilted back slightly as he sniffed the air.
“You smell like cinnamon and citrus.” He sighed. “Spicy.”
“So I’ve been told,” I stated evenly. “Back up.”
“You smell delicious.”
“Been told that, too.”
“I want to taste you.”
Immediately, I wanted to ask if Jason meant that in a threatening way…or some other way. With his face so close to mine, my hand on his chest, and the lack of space between us, the pushing against my lower stomach let me know the answer. I didn’t dare look down.
“Back up,” I whispered.
“Will you burn me if I don’t?” He smiled wickedly.
“Ah.” I sucked at my teeth. “Lucas isn’t the only fella you’d like to see in the doggy-style position.”
That made Jason’s grin broaden so that every last one of his teeth was bared to me. He seemed to have more than any human I’d ever met, and he hadn’t even tried to shift.
“In totally different ways. Jacob.”
I stared into Jason’s eyes. He wasn’t as stupid as I thought. Or, at least, he wasn’t blind.
“I’m so glad you came back.” He sighed hungrily.
“Yeah?” I said lowly. “The feeling varies for me from day to day, honestly.”
“Maybe you need me to help you remember what’s so great about being back in Point Worth?” Jason’s eyes lit up—but not in a wolf-red way. “Because if you’re not sure you like it here, Lucas isn’t doing his job.”
“Back. The. Fuck. Up.”
“Burn me.”
“I will.”
“No, you won’t.”
“You wanted to kill me the other night,” I glowered, “and now you want to fuck me? How many brain cells does being a werewolf kill, Jason?”
“I didn’t want to kill you.” Jason sighed. I could still feel lower parts of him pushing into me. “Just punish you.”
His grin got even more wicked.
“You’re disgusting.”
“You have no idea.”
“I’ve got a pretty healthy imagination.” I snapped. “And, luckily, a pretty strong stomach. Get the hell away from me. Last warning, Jason. I told Oma I wouldn’t attack you unless you gave me a reason and—”
“You’re even more enticing than you were in high school.” Jason’s voice was guttural. “God, I hated you then, and I hate you now. It makes me so fucking hard how much I hate you. I’m betting that you hate me the same.”
“Oddly, I’m flaccid.”
Jason laughed throatily, undeterred.
“You are an odd duck.” I shoved my hand against his chest harder. “You’re like the kid who throws rocks at the girl he likes in second grade.”
“Something i
s like a rock.” Jason bit his bottom lip, and his pelvis moved against me.
“Back up, or I will make you back up.” I snarled, suddenly very angry.
All I could think about was the fact that Lucas was my boyfriend. I loved Lucas. I didn’t give a damn about Jason. Actually, I cared a lot about Jason—but none of those feelings were good. Or sexual. They all involved pain, and not in a ‘pull my hair and spank my ass’ kind of way.
“You gonna burn me, witch?” Jason taunted. “I think you want to do something besides burn me, Rob.”
Unless I was willing to burn Jason, make the first real aggressive move towards a fight, there wasn’t a way to respond.
“Two people who hate each other usually have the most fun in bed, ya’ know.” He said. “And I hate you sooooo very much.”
Staring into Jason’s ravenous eyes, eyes that told me all of the awful and depraved things he had planned if I even gave a hint that I’d allow it, made me go very still. It chilled me to my core. Jason needed to burn until there was nothing left but the ashes of his bones. The nagging voice in the back of my head that reminded me I had promised Oma I would not attack Jason without a good reason kept me from doing it. Technically, Jason had not attacked—he was just an unrelenting, disgusting pervert. I found myself wishing he had hit me or changed into a wolf instead of telling me all of his depraved thoughts. Then I could have set him on fire and felt perfectly reasonable about it. However, since that wasn’t an option, I used my magic for something else.
A loud “popping” sound came from within Jason’s house.
Then the roar of water gushing sounded from the open doorway.
“What the—” Jason shifted his stance to look over my shoulder through his front doorway.
“I think you have a leak.” I smiled up at him.
Jason growled in my face before he was dashing around me towards his house. I turned to watch him race into his house towards the kitchen area at the back of the main room where the kitchen and dining area were. Water was gushing from the broken faucet in his sink, hitting the ceiling and falling to the ground, creating a giant puddle.
“Shut off valve should be under the sink,” I stated just loudly enough to be heard.
“Fuck you, witch!” Jason bellowed as he dropped to his knees and started ripping open the cabinets.
Smiling to myself, I turned quickly and headed to my car. Oma had said before that I was no witch. That I could have been, but I wasn’t. Well, sometimes you can change the past. Especially when magic is involved.
Chapter 10
When two people finally find each other—maybe it is different for closeted gay teens—but when they find each other, everything happens at the speed of light inside a bubble. Whenever they are together, they are each other’s world. They are the only two people that they can be themselves with all day long. Things happen at an accelerated pace. What might take years to learn about each other happens in the blink of an eye for two gay teens. It is a microcosm of first love that only LGBTQ people can fully understand. Two boys may seem to fall in love too quickly to some, but to others, it is understandable that they fell so deeply so quickly. Their relationship was accelerated due to conditions beyond their control.
Because two gay teens in a rural town in Upper Ohio find it difficult to announce to their community that they are, in fact, a couple, their world goes askew. Two people, afraid to say something as simple as “I have a boyfriend” are often reluctant to speak up about anything that is dangerous. One of the teenagers might not talk about being pressured to try drugs or alcohol. The other might not tell his parents that he is engaging in risky behaviors, such as unprotected sex, drunk driving, or illegal activities. Both teens may not tell their parents or guardian that a gang is trying to recruit one of them as a member.
Not that any of these things happened to Lucas and me, but we often found ourselves in situations where a parent or guardian knowing what was going on would have kept us out of trouble. Even though I had told Oma about liking Lucas Barkley, Lucas made me promise not to tell her anything else about us. He wasn’t ready to face his own parents, his grandparents—and neither of us was prepared for any of our friends to know about us. Two gay teens trying to figure out their sexuality and their love for each other shouldn’t have to worry about acceptance. But that was forced upon Lucas as well.
Lucas and I were laying down on our stomachs in the rowboat on Lake Erie. The sun had been setting when we started rowing back to shore, but now the moon was out, shining down on our backs. One Saturday afternoon, after Lucas had come to my house after football practice in the early fall, and we had hopped into the boat and paddled far from shore. Being away from shore, out on the middle of the lake, away from everyone else, we could talk about anything, kiss, just be ourselves. We didn’t have to worry that anyone would see us and make Lucas more uncomfortable than he already was at figuring out his sexuality at that age.
The afternoon had been spent holding hands in the boat, talking about our deepest wishes, dreams, and desires. Talking about school. Laughing about our idiot friends and the stupid things they said and did during class. Music, movies, what we were going to do once Point Worth was a distant memory—because we were obviously not going to live in the town our entire lives. We had kissed. A lot. It had been a perfect afternoon. But as the sun began to set and I lounged in the boat as Lucas rowed the boat towards shore once more, things fell apart. Jason and his friends were walking along shore, just far enough away that they didn’t see us before we saw them.
Lucas had pulled me down in the boat, and we huddled there on our stomachs, waiting for them to walk far enough away that we could get to shore and run for it before they saw us. As we laid there, the sun setting incrementally with each passing minute, I had turned my head to look into the eyes of the boy who meant everything to me. What I saw in those eyes wasn’t fear of being called “fag” or “queer” by guys who had only recently become his teammates on the football team. It was something else.
“Why are they always looking for you?” I had whispered.
“I don’t know.”
“What will they do if they find out we’ve been hanging out? Why do we always have to hide?” I asked. “I mean, guys hang out. We can tell them we’re friends.”
“They don’t care that I’m hanging out with you, Rob,” Lucas whispered.
“Then…why are we always hiding?” I asked gently. “Are they mean to you or something? Do you think they’ll be mean to me?”
“They wouldn’t even care if they caught us kissing.” Lucas croaked. “They don’t give a shit about that stuff.”
I stared at him for several moments.
“I don’t stay in the closet to protect me.”
There was nothing to say to that either.
“I stay in the closet for you.” He added. “To protect you.”
“You staying in the closet protects me?” I was confused. “I thought you didn’t say anything because your family and friends would…I don’t know…like disown you or call you names…or worse?”
“I don’t want anyone to know how much you mean to me.”
That touched my heart but confused me more.
“Are you ashamed of me?” I asked, the bottom of the boat hurting my sternum as we laid there.
“No.” Lucas insisted immediately. “I would never be ashamed of you, Rob. I just…I don’t want you to get hurt.”
This statement I found to be even more confusing than any of the others. For the entirety of my relationship with Lucas—once it had become romantic—I had assumed Lucas kept me a secret due to shame or fear of what his friends and family would do. But he was afraid for my safety?
“Why would I get hurt?”
“You’ll call me crazy.”
I did look at him like he was insane then.
“I would never call you crazy.”
Lucas swallowed hard, his eyes burning with fear.
“They want me to…they
want me to be like them.”
“Like…well, I mean, you’re already a football player, Lucas.” I whispered back.
“They want me to be part of their pack.”
“They’re a gang or something?”
“No.” Lucas looked green. “They’re werewolves.”
Then I was submerged, gulping in water, and flailing for my life.
Jerking up to a sitting position, frothy bubbles covered my eyes, and my hands reached out to grip the slick sides of the cast iron tub as I sputtered and tried to fill my lungs with air. I was still coughing when I reached up to wipe my eyes clear of the lavender bubble bath Oma always kept in the bathrooms. I had sloshed water over the side of the tub and created a fairly impressive puddle that would need to be sopped up before one of the Kobolds saw it. If Oskar or Lena saw the mess I had made, they wouldn’t curse me out, but I would be getting the stink eye for an entire week at the least.
Sputtering, I dunked back under the water again to get the rest of the bubbles out of my hair and off of my face before I sat upright again. I pulled my knees up to my chest in the still warm water and looked out at the bathroom with stinging eyes. I had fallen asleep. Smart move, Rob. After leaving Jason’s house, giving him the money for Katie’s funeral expenses, and somehow managing to avoid his sexual advances, I had wanted a bath. I wanted to wash the smell and thought of Jason off of me. Oma’s lavender bubble bath seemed like the perfect way to do that.
I shivered, though I wasn’t cold, as I looked out at nothing from my spot within the deep tub. The old claw-foot tub was so deep that the water came up to mid-chest on me as I sat there holding my knees against my torso. It felt like having someone give birth to me, half in and out of the womb. If I sunk back under the water, would I feel safe, warm, and insulated from the dank, dark ugliness of my world?
For a decade, I had spent so much time being Jacob Michaels—A-list movie star and international rock star—and forgetting who I really was that even getting my memories back hadn’t really reformed me as Rob Wagner. Memories are not trustworthy all of the time. Perception and our own wants and desires help mold them, and as time passes, those wants and desires shape them even more. I had remembered that Jason and his pack had actually wanted to recruit Lucas to be part of their pack before I had jumped into the well when I was sixteen-years-old. But my mind had pushed out the peripheral information, the things I hadn’t realized were important to the story at the time I made the memories. Things like Lucas telling me that Jason didn’t care if he caught us kissing. That didn’t matter to him.
