by Ally Vance
I know it’s not what he meant, but since I didn’t really know him anymore, I couldn’t be sure.
“What did you think of the show, kid?” he asked distractedly as he leaned his elbows on the table and began to peer at the selections.
“It was loud.”
Knox smiled, his crystal blue eyes still searching the options, but didn’t say anything. He didn’t even look up at me. It was almost like he was on stage again and I was just another face lost in the crowd.
“It happens,” he finally said as he sat back and flipped his menu closed. I glanced up nervously to see him arching his neck and looking for a server. When he cut his eyes toward me briefly, I immediately lowered my eyes toward the menu again and tried to make sense of the sudden blur of lines in front of me.
“What’s up, Jules? You seem almost scared of me,” he quipped, giving my dirty, old canvas shoe a gentle shove with his shiny new sneakers.
I shrugged yet again and he let out a loud sigh. “I really hope you aren’t here as a fan, kid. That would bum me out.”
“I’m not a fan, Knox,” I shot back heatedly. “I’m your brother.”
Half of his mouth curled up into a grin and he raked a hand back through his hair. “I’m teasing you.”
Just like when we were kids, I thought ruefully. Knox had games he would like to play with me when we were younger, and I can’t help but wonder if they were a primer for the man he became today.
Of course, a lot of those games would hinge on “not telling Mom or Dad” and while I had a feeling they weren’t right, my heart told me they weren’t wrong.
I guess I missed those games more than I thought and that’s the main reason I set off to find my brother.
Not that I would tell him.
I’d seen enough articles online to know that he only dated top of the line models—big, fake, store-bought tits, long blonde hair more than likely given length by some form of weave, and the slim, tight little bodies.
He was a typical rock star in a way.
A womanizer.
Probably a closet misogynist too.
Sex, drugs, and rock and roll, though I never read anything about him being an addict.
Unless you count pussy.
And I was still the kid that looked up to him wanting to be loved more than anything else by the man that made me feel special in a way that no one else could.
“What can I get for you guys?” a young girl asks brightly stopping by our table.
Knox places his order for a beer, some nachos, and a burger.
Me?
I silently hoped for a backbone to tell my brother why I really set out to find him.
Chapter 5
“...so I guess that was when I knew I had to break up with her, you know? She talked this huge game but couldn’t keep up with my appetite.”
Knox used his napkin to wipe his mouth as he finished yet another story of another model he had broken up with. It always seemed to be for the same reason. Apparently, his libido was in overdrive these days and all of these women had sworn that they would be able to feed it, and they all failed.
“Uh huh,” I mumbled into my half empty glass of water. I hadn’t ordered much for this late night dinner, early breakfast because I didn’t have much money on me. I had to save as much of it as I could for gas on the drive back home.
“Do you live around here?” he asked, mercifully changing the subject.
“What?” Oh. Um, no.”
“How far did you come out for the show?” he pressed curiously.
“Three hours,” I admitted as I pushed my plate of half eaten nachos away.
“Can I get you guys anything else?”
The cheerful server asked suddenly, almost causing me to jump out of my skin. I looked up at her and shook my head, watching as she looked at my brother, waiting patiently for his reply. But when he didn’t say anything I glanced over at him and noticed that his eyes were on me instead of her.
“Just the check,” he finally said after a few moments of tense silence.
While we waited for the server to come back with the bill, Knox reached for his jacket and fished out his phone. I felt envious, then immediately like shit for the feeling. Lennox had the brand new iPhone and while I knew he worked damn hard to be able to afford all of the luxuries that he had, I was starting to feel less and less of a human being in his presence.
“Have a nice night, y’all!” Impossibly Cheerful Server said as she dropped the bill on the table. I reached for it to figure out my portion, hoping that with the tip included, I’d still have enough for a half tank of gas, but Knox slapped my hand the moment I rested it on the square piece of paper, and slipped it out of my reach.
“Save your pennies,” he said breezily as he fished out a thick wad of cash from his pocket.
I was sure that it didn’t come out the way he meant it to—at least, I hoped not. But when he grinned at me again as he got to his feet and pulled his jacket on, I forgave him.
And when I got to my feet as he patiently waited—when he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and gave me a firm, but gentle squeeze as we walked out of the diner … I found myself needing him.
“What year is this fucking thing?” Knox teased as soon as we got back to my car. It took a little longer than it should have because there were still a few teenagers hanging around outside the venue. He stopped to sign some autographs, took a few more pictures, then told them to get home.
“It still runs,” I said defensively, to which my brother laughed good-naturedly.
“Lighten up, Jules,’ he replied as he settled into the passenger seat and reclined the back. After he secured his seatbelt, he closed his eyes for a moment before turning his face toward me and smiling as he peeked through an open eye.
I shook my head and chuckled softly as I put the car in drive and pulled out of the lot that sat adjacent to the venue.
It cost ten dollars to park in here, but Knox paid for dinner so that leaves me with twenty five dollars. Hopefully that’ll be enough to get us back home.
Wait—
“Where are you guys headed tomorrow?” I asked nervously. I had beaten my car to shit chasing them around and I knew I wouldn’t be able to drive him to his next destination any time soon.
“Nowhere. It’s our day off,” he replied though a wide yawn.
Thank fuck.
“I messaged Mick and let them know that I’d probably fly to the next stop so they don’t have to wait for me,” he said, which explained why he flashed the latest, greatest in Apple products. “So, tell me little brother. Which way is home?”
“South,” I replied quietly as I pulled onto the almost desolate road and made my way toward the highway.
Chapter 6
Four and a half hours later, we finally reached my front door. I had to stop for gas and Knox took the time to stretch his legs and smoke a cigarette, which honestly surprised me. I remember that I had once stolen a cigarette from Mom’s pack and he caught me hiding in the small wooded area behind the house with it. I’d never seen him so angry. He slapped it out of my hand, sat me down on ground and lectured me on the dangers of smoking.
Needless to say, when I saw him light one up, I had to fight the urge to repeat the past in reverse.
But we were home now and that’s all that mattered. I couldn’t wait to shower and then climb into bed. I felt sticky, sweaty, and gross from both the show and the damn menu diner.
“That’s a small couch,” Knox doubtfully pointed out. “I don’t know how comfortable I’d be on that, kid.”
“Then you can have the bed. I’ll sleep out here. I’ve done it loads of times,” I replied with a shrug.
His eyes lingered on me for a moment—long enough for me to wonder what it was he was thinking, but his next suggestion is what floored me.
“Hey, remember when we were kids and Dad used to get drunk and shit?” I nodded and waited. “Well, remember how we used to sleep in the same bed after on
e of us got the belt to make the other one feel better?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, how big is your bed?”
“Knox, no one is going to belt you,” I replied with an eye roll. “I’ll take the couch; it’s fine. I promise.”
He shrugged and walked out of the living room. I assumed he was going to look for my bedroom, but since I was renting a small two room house, he wouldn’t have to go very far.
With a loud sigh, I walked the three steps toward my couch and laid down. A shower could wait for a few hours—I was beat from driving for so damn long and all I really wanted was some damn sleep.
The moment I got comfortable and closed my eyes, I heard the shower turn on and I groaned inwardly. The knobs were hard to turn and sometimes they made loud, creaking noises—far from the finer things in life that my brother was used to.
It’s only for one night, I reminded myself as the sudden realization of how low in the food chain I was started to creep over me.
I was one foot into the world of dreams when I suddenly felt like I was being watched. It unnerved me enough to open an eye and I jumped when I saw my brother sitting on my old coffee table, watching me with a curious smile on his face.
“Um, can you not sit on that please?” I began groggily, “It might break.”
Without a word, Knox moved from the coffee table to sit on the floor next to me. He raked a hand back through his hair before he let his eyes wander toward the small table, then back to me.
I didn’t understand the meaningful look he was giving me until I relented and glanced over.
And there it sat.
The way most of our games started as children.
A black leather belt, with a silver buckle.
Just like the kind Dad would use to punish us with as kids when he felt we needed to be disciplined.
“Wanna play?” he asked me softly as he got to his feet.
Knox pulled me to my feet and wrapped an arm around my waist, his breath hot on my neck. My body began to tremble. I never in a million years imagined that he’d remember the games like I did or that he would want to relive those moments if given the opportunity.
“Wait,” I protested as I put my hands on his chest and gave him a gentle shove. But he didn’t loosen his grip and gave no space between us.
“I missed you, Jules. I never forgot about you—about us. How we used to take care of each other when that bastard would have one too many, or how Mom would leave us with him when she was afraid he might hurt her again.”
Knox leaned his head down and brushed his lips against my neck and I could feel my dick becoming hard. It was a strange feeling because no matter how many women I had tried to be with to forget about him, it was always a chore for any of them to get me erect.
Yet, all it took was a simple touch from my brother to start the blood flowing.
“None of those women meant anything to me, you know? Not like you—never like you. They only see what they think I am, but you’re the only person that’s ever known me for what’s on the inside. You suffered with me, you saw me at my lowest, and you never turned away from me. I … I’m sorry I ran away without you when I got the chance. I never should have abandoned you, little brother,” he murmured against my skin as he reached a hand down for the belt.
I tried to take a step back, but again, he held me tightly against him.
“Come on, Jules. Let’s play,” he damn near begged as he looked into my eyes.
I bit my lower lip, reached up and took his face in my hands. A slight tremble went through Knox; I felt it at the tip of my fingers and it made me realize that my touch affected him almost as much as his affected me.
With a nod, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his, as he gently ran a hand down my back. I felt the leather of the belt in his hand as he looped his thumbs into the waistband of my jeans and began to push them down.
Chapter 7
I grunted as the wide leather lashed against my bare ass. I was leaned over the couch, my hands firmly gripping the top as Knox laid the belt across my flesh again. Each time he lashed me, he would follow it immediately with a gentle caress.
After care in the middle of foreplay, and in a way, it was making me feel cheated.
I wanted the full sting of the belt. I wanted to be punished for trying to forget about him by using others to do so and I wanted him to make me repent for that sin.
No one should have ever tried to take the place of my brother—in my heart or in my bed.
“Harder,” I commanded through grit teeth. Knox chuckled as he slapped my ass with his hand, before lashing me harder than before. In fact, he did so with such force that I heard the sound barrier break before the leather kissed my skin.
“Ugh,” I lost my footing on the last lash and buckled onto the couch. I heard the dull sound of the belt as it was dropped onto the old carpet, then followed by the heavy breathing of my brother as he climbed on, pressing his toned body against mine.
“Did I hurt you, Jules?” he whispered into my ear.
“I deserved it,” I replied as he wrapped his arms around my waist, his hand finding its way down to my erection. I sucked in a breath as he wrapped his hand firmly around my dick. When he began to stroke me, I bit down hard on my lip and leaned back into him. I wanted more than just a belt lashing and a hand job.
I wanted his cock inside of my mouth and my ass.
“I missed this,” he whispered hotly into my ear. I turned my face toward his and when he kissed me, his tongue probing the inside of my mouth with precision, I pulled away from his arms. I lost myself in our hungry kiss for as long as he would allow it before I pulled him down on the couch next to me.
His eyes were wild, carnal, and full with a lust I hadn’t seen since childhood.
Knox didn’t hesitate. He reached down and pulled his jeans off the rest of the way, kicked them off his legs, then reached down and palmed his hard cock. When I positioned myself on my knees in front of him, he gently rested a hand against my forehead as he stroked his length and made me watch.
I had forgotten this part of the game.
He liked to be watched sometimes. He said it always made him perform better if he knew I was enjoying the game as much as he was.
But this wasn’t a game to me anymore and I wasn’t a child. I was a young man with needs and he was withholding the one thing I had been desperate for, for years.
I angrily shoved his hand away from my face and leaned forward, taking the head of his cock into my mouth. He sucked in his breath as he fisted my hair roughly and I glanced up at him for a moment. I hadn’t moved yet—I was too busy savoring the look in his eyes, the salty taste of the pre-cum on the tip of his dick, and the feeling of knowing that he wanted this as much as I did.
“Come on, Jules,” he begged in a thick voice. “No one has ever been able to do this the way you do.”
With a low growl, I began to move my head up and down. My tongue swirled around his girth, my hand trailing closely behind, as I began to suck him off. The moans, the shifting on the couch, the way he pulled on my hair—it all told me that I still had it when it came to my brother and I refused to let him forget it ever again.
Moving my free hand down, I gripped his balls tightly in my hand, giving them a gentle squeeze then a tug, before I let his dick free from my mouth. Knox pushed my face down and I smirked as I took one of his balls into my mouth. I kept a hand firmly wrapped around his dick and I stroked him as I sucked them desperately, but careful not to hurt him.
Not that he would care—Knox was always into some pain with his pleasure, but like I said, we weren’t kids anymore and this was different now.
“You’re gonna make me come, Jules,” Knox breathed as his breathing became labored. I gave his balls one last, hard suck, a popping sound accompanying his breathing like a salacious serenade as I got to my feet and let go of his dick.
“What the fuck? Why did you stop?” he barked in confusion.
I smiled, “Because you know what I want now.”
With a laugh, he reached up and pulled me down onto the couch, positioning himself over me. He didn’t enter me right away, instead he used his knees to push my legs open, then began tugging on his dick rapidly. I reached up and pulled his face down toward mine, licking his lips before sliding my tongue into his mouth.
As we kissed, Knox came between my ass cheeks and let out a tired laugh as he rested his forehead against mine for a moment. He kissed me gently, almost lovingly, before he got back on his knees and positioned the head of his cock at my hole.
I closed my eyes, crossed my hands behind my neck and braced myself. He took his time, using the cum that coated my ass as a lubricant, sliding gently in and out of me until he was all the way in and I wasn’t grunting in pain.
The pain.
That was what he always wanted.
Me?
I wanted the pleasure.
Chapter 8
The sound of his balls slapping against my flesh was something I had always been fond of when we were kids. It happened far and few in between, and almost always after punishments, but Knox always did his best to make sure that I got the pleasure I wanted while he reveled in the pain.
It was a give and take.
A push and pull.
A suck and a fuck.
And it always worked.
He had a hand wrapped firmly around my neck as he fucked me without mercy. I didn’t complain and passed the groans of pain for pleasure.
Something that would keep us both happy while we shared this moment because who knew if we would ever have it again.
“I missed you so much,” Knox breathed as he moved his hips a little faster, and pushed himself into me just a little deeper.
I reached down and grabbed my cock, stroking it quickly. I could tell that he was going to come soon and I wanted to be right there with him. I wanted to show him what he meant to me and that would mean shooting my load at almost the exact same time as him.
