by AR Colbert
“Why are you following me?” Raf asked. The intensity in his eyes ignited a flame within me. He had me pinned to the wall with one arm propping himself up against the door over my shoulder. My breath caught in my throat as two opposing reactions warred inside me. I didn’t know if I wanted to push him away for being so dramatic or yank him down and kiss him senseless. He leaned in an inch closer, the storm in his eyes telling me he was facing the same dilemma.
I shoved down my attraction for him and allowed common sense to win out for once. “Why am I following you? You’re the one following me! What are you doing here in Louisburg?”
“Why are you surprised?” He flashed his crooked grin and leaned in closer, effectively making my knees go weak. I hated it when people responded to my questions with more questions. But Raf got away with it. Maybe it had something to do with his intoxicating scent, or the way his full lips sent my pulse racing. “You should know by now I’m no good at saying goodbye when it comes to you.”
“You’re also no good at following instructions.” I ducked under his arm and spun around behind him. “I told you it was time for me to move on. I asked you to stay behind.”
His shoulders sagged. “I know. I’m not here to convince you otherwise. I’m actually here on official business for the Embers.”
Alarm bells were ringing in my mind now. I didn’t get the sense he was being completely honest with me—but he wasn’t lying either. “What kind of official business? Did something happen? What’s going on?”
Someone banged loudly on the door beside us before he could answer. I froze, panic-stricken until a man’s voice called out, “Are you almost finished in there? My son is about to wet his pants!”
“Just a minute!” Raf responded in his deepest, most intimidating voice.
“Daddy?” I heard a small voice ask.
“Let’s wait over here. I’m sure he won’t be long.” The man’s voice trailed off as he walked his son away from the door.
“This isn’t the time or the place,” Raf whispered frantically.
My mind raced with possible scenarios that would require his presence here. None of them were good. “I doubt we’ll run into each other again. Just tell me now.”
“Oh, I’ll run into you again. I’ll make sure of it.” He gave a half smile. “But I’ve got to get out of here before anyone catches us talking to each other. I’m not supposed to set foot in any New American territory—not without explaining my disappearance first, anyway.” His eyes traveled down and back up my body before he met mine again with a smile. “And you have a way of drawing attention. I’ll leave first. Wait thirty seconds before following me out.”
“But Raf—” he stole a quick hard kiss from my lips, interrupting me mid-sentence. “Thirty seconds, Clar.” And with that, he unlocked the door and swung around the corner.
The bathroom was empty aside from me and my loud breathing from the sheer shock of our short interaction. I inhaled deeply and released the air slowly through my mouth, trying to calm my nerves before deciding thirty seconds had probably passed and turning toward the door. I watched his silhouette disappear through the front door as I stepped back into the hallway.
A fidgeting little boy and his scowling father brought me back to reality as they squeezed around me to the now empty bathroom. Joy sat in a chair near the entrance, arms crossed, watching me with a quirked eyebrow and a knowing half-smirk.
“Actually,” I said, approaching her. “Maybe you’re right. Pasta does sound better than sandwiches.”
I pushed open the doors and glanced both directions on the street, but Raf was nowhere to be found.
“Care to tell me what that was all about?” Joy asked as she joined me on the sidewalk.
“No,” I sighed. “I’m not so sure even I know what that was about.”
CHAPTER 9
Asher picked us up after lunch, and Joy took care of my things when we returned to the mansion that afternoon, leaving me time to reflect on my conversation with Raf. If he was here on official Ember business, did that mean the movement had already spread to Louisburg?
It was nice to get to know Joy a little better. I wouldn’t mind asking her to take me back into town, even if I didn’t particularly enjoy shopping. I had to find some reason to get back out there and run into him again. Ultimately I decided a more official excuse might work better. Later that evening during dinner, I asked Everett if I might be able to go out and meet some of the Peacemakers in the city.
“The Peacemakers won’t be of much interest to you in your position here,” he replied.
“While that may be true, I’d like to meet them anyway. I think it will be good for me to get a feel of the culture in Louisburg. The Peacemakers are very much a part of that.”
He frowned. “I don’t prefer mingling with them, but if you insist then I suppose we can invite them to your party next week.”
Well that didn’t work. I’d have to come up with a different reason to get out into the city again. “I forgot about the party,” I said, switching gears. “I guess we have some planning to do.”
Everett grinned widely and waved my words away. “Don’t you worry about that, dear. I’ve already assigned the staff to handle all the details. All you have to do is show up with that beautiful smile of yours, and it will be a smashing hit.”
The rest of the meal consisted of me nodding along to Everett’s plans for my upcoming birthday party. When he suggested we plan it together, what he really meant was that he was going to use this opportunity to throw the grandest event possible for any Leader he deemed important enough to attend the swanky soiree. I got no input whatsoever.
But the more I learned about Everett, the more I understood my time with him would be easier if I held my tongue on most things, and only spoke up when it really mattered. He was used to getting his way, and I wouldn’t ruffle his feathers unless it was something important. I had to play my cards the right way with him. I had to let him feel as though he was in control at all times, even of me.
I escaped back to my room the first chance I had after the meal and collapsed backward on the bed, staring at the ceiling in a much welcomed silence. But the silence didn’t last long.
A rapping sound coming from the balcony made me jump and roll quickly to the opposite side of the bed, where I dropped to the floor to hide from whatever intruder may be standing outside. But I didn’t sense any fear or anger or determination coming from the doors. Instead, I had to fight the urge to laugh. It started softly, a giggle threatening to escape. But the longer I hid, the funnier the situation seemed. I peeked hesitantly over the top of my mattress, though by then I already knew who was standing on the other side of the doors. I just didn’t know what he found so funny.
I stood to find Raf’s handsome face leaning in toward the glass, his hands cupped around his eyes to help him see better through the glare of the light. His smile was wide, amused at my clumsiness no doubt. His breath fogged the glass, cold from the chill in the early spring air.
Looking over my shoulder to make sure we were alone and my bedroom door was tightly shut behind me, I strode over and opened the balcony doors for him. The situation wasn’t funny to me at all anymore by the time I got to him.
“Get in here before someone sees you out there,” I scolded. “What are you doing in the Center after dark anyway? Are you trying to get exiled?”
“I told you I would run into you again. Here I am.” He was still smiling. “Nice moves by the way. I’m sure you would be totally safe from any real intruders.”
I hit him playfully on the arm. “I can’t imagine any real bad guys would be dumb enough to scale up to a second-story balcony on the District Director’s home!”
Raf laughed. “Love will do crazy things to a man.”
My eyes widened. Did he just say love? He continued talking, changing the subject before I could ask. He grew more serious as he moved to take a seat on the edge of my bed. I’d have to shelve his slip of the tongue
until after I learned the real reason he was here.
“I’m happy to see you again,” Raf said with a frown. “But that’s not the only reason I’m here.”
“I know. What happened with the Embers?” I asked, joining him on the bed.
“Nothing... yet. But you were right. Something is coming. Your dad pulled me into a meeting with Frank and a few of the others when I got back to camp after dropping you off at James’ house the other night.”
I turned to face him better, hunkering down for the bad news that was certainly about to come my way.
“They saw the men on the motorcycles. Well, Tim did. He was leaving camp around the same time we did, and he said the men were circling the perimeter. He suspects they were looking for ways to access the camp without being caught. I’m afraid the Exiled aren’t done with us yet.”
I shook my head. “No. I hate to say this out loud because I don’t want it to be true, but I’m afraid it’s even worse than the Exiled. When we saw the men, did you happen to notice the blue band tattooed around the taller man’s neck?”
Raf shook his head. “No. What does it mean?”
“I think he might be associated with the Supreme Leadership. I never would have believed it either,” I added quickly after feeling Raf’s skepticism shift into place, “but then I saw another man with the same tattoo at the municipal building. Or maybe the same man? I’m not sure. There’s definitely at least one of them in Classen City on official business. I don’t know how many others may be in the area as well.”
“That makes no sense.” Raf’s brows pulled together. “What would the Supreme Leadership want with us?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.
He shook his head again, unbelieving. “Frank was so certain it was the Exiled. We all thought it had to be them.”
“Well if it is the Exiled, you know you can handle them.”
“And if it’s not? If you’re right about it being the Supreme Leadership?”
“Then I’ll get to the bottom of it.” I just didn’t know how, yet. I sat thinking it over for just a moment before I turned to Raf again. “You said you were here on official Ember business. Did Frank send you to tell me this, or was there something more?”
Raf’s eyes softened, and he placed his hand on mine. “Honestly, I was planning on coming to check on you anyway.”
I pulled my hand out from under his. “But you said you wouldn’t follow me any farther. I asked you to stay behind.”
“I know.” He dropped his gaze down to the coverlet between us. “But I swore to your dad back when you first saw him again that I would keep you safe. So in a way, me following you here is official business.”
I stood. I didn’t need him to babysit me. He was only making the inevitable goodbye more difficult.
“No, you and my father have both made it very clear that you’re okay without me. And I need to learn to be okay without you, too. I appreciate the information, but you can go back home and let them know that I’m fine. And then you can stay there.”
“I’ll leave first thing in the morning.”
“No, you’ll leave now!” My voice was louder than I’d intended, and we both looked quickly to the door as footsteps approached.
“Is everything alright in there, Ms. Greenwood?” Joy called out sweetly.
“I’m fine, Joy.” I held my breath waiting for her to walk away, but the sound of her footsteps never came. “Was there something else you needed?”
She dropped her voice to a whisper, turning the knob and opening the door just a crack so I could hear her. I tripped over my feet in my hurry to stop the door from opening any wider, but her pale face was already inside, looking surprisingly... unsurprised. “Would you like me to show your guest to the room I have set up for him across the hall?”
My jaw dropped as I looked back and forth between her and Raf. She flashed an innocent grin.
“I, uh—”
“Never mind. It’s the second door on the left...when he’s ready.” She smiled again before pulling her head back out of the room and retreating back down the hall.
“What is going on here?” I asked, turning furiously to Raf.
He closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I thought you’d be a little more... amenable to my being here.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “How did you get in here anyway?”
He cringed. “I paid the guards to let me into the Center.”
“You paid them? With what? You’re an Outsider. You don’t have any money!”
“James gave me some valuables. Tobacco, alcohol, and some old jewelry. He knew the guards in Louisburg could be bought.” He pulled the blue backpack he’d been wearing around to the front to show me how he’d smuggled the goods inside. I knew that bag looked familiar. I watched James hand it to him just a couple of nights earlier, I just didn’t realize it was Raf at the time.
“So James is in on this, too?!” I threw my hands in the air. Wasn’t there anyone who trusted me to take care of myself?
“I went back to him after I said goodbye to you that night. I had barely started back through the tunnels before I realized I couldn’t actually let you go. I knew I had to see you again. I had to make sure you were okay here. So I went back. I told James I was going to follow you to Louisburg. I told him it was because I made that promise to your dad.”
I groaned and dropped my face into my hands. Lies. Again. No, not lies. Mis-truths. Enough secrets to prevent me from being able to trust him again. Why did he insist on breaking my trust around every corner? If he loved me, he wouldn’t keep things from me like this.
“Raf, I don’t even know what to say to you right now.”
“Say you’ll let me stay. Just for tonight. I’ll sleep in the other room, and I’ll return to Classen City tomorrow. I’ll let them know they may be dealing with more than Milo’s gang this time around.”
I met his eyes, pleading with me from across the room, and I wished he didn’t have such control over my heart. I was angry with him. Furious. But I couldn’t neglect the fact that he’d driven many hours here just to make sure I was okay. To update me on the situation back home. To confess his love... sort of. Raf and I were nothing if we weren’t complicated.
“You can stay. But this is it. The Embers need you back home now more than ever. And I need some time to find my own way here. I don’t want to see you again. Not for a long time, anyway.” My chest ached as the words left my mouth, and Raf visibly crumpled across from me. He gave a solemn nod and stepped toward me. Stopping just inches away, he leaned down and paused.
His voice was barely audible, but he was close enough for the warmth of his breath to tickle my lips. “I can’t promise to stay away from you.”
Energy buzzed between us, an inexplicable pull drawing me toward him, but I resisted. Kissing him would only complicate things further. I needed to push Raf out of my mind. We couldn’t be together, but I couldn’t bring myself to move away from him either.
Finally, he whispered, “Goodnight, Claren.”
The breath I’d been holding slowly escaped through my lips. “Goodbye, Raf.” And as he exited the door behind me a single tear escaped as well.
CHAPTER 10
“Ms. Greenwood?” Joy urgently rapped on the opposite side of my door. “Ms. Greenwood, are you up?”
“What time is it?” I squinted at the sunlight shining too brightly from my balcony window and sat up in my bed.
Joy pushed the door open and peeked inside. “It’s time for breakfast, and Director Walsh is asking for you.” She made wide eyes at me. Apparently, I wasn’t moving fast enough for her.
The truth was, I felt as though I’d just drifted off to sleep, and I wasn’t ready to get up. My mind whirled around for hours the night before. I tossed and turned, unable to succumb to the rest I so desperately needed. Now the morning sunlight felt like a blunt knock across the head.
Then I remembered the reason for
my insomnia. Raf was here. I jumped out of the covers and dashed to the door, but Joy reached out to stop me from leaving the room.
“He’s already gone.”
“What? When did he go?”
“At dawn,” she whispered. “I had to get him out before anyone else awoke. Asher took him back into the city.”
I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes at her. “Why?”
“Beg your pardon?” Joy shifted nervously on her feet.
“Why did you help him?” I’d suspected she was a part of the Embers somehow, but I needed to hear her say it.
Joy shifted her gaze down to the floor, pulling her initial defenses back into place. Whatever progress we’d made toward friendship was crashing and burning now before my eyes.
“I may be new to working with Director Walsh, but I am not new to working with the Leadership,” she said harshly.
“I’m not sure what you mean by that.”
“Visitors,” she said simply, glancing up briefly enough to shoot a glare at me from under her brows.
“Well I don’t normally have visitors,” I replied coolly. She was starting to frustrate me with her calloused attitude. I hadn’t done anything wrong here. When she didn’t respond, I added, “But thank you for taking care of him.”
“I didn’t really have much of a choice.” Joy sighed heavily and turned toward the windows.
“What do you mean? Did someone contact you about him?” I was hopeful. Maybe this was her way of telling me she knew Frank or some of the other Embers.
Joy turned back to face me, confusion and irritation marking her features. “I was there with you at the sandwich shop yesterday. I expected him to show up here. But when he saw me around the side of the house with Asher, I knew I would have to do whatever you said.”
