by Linda Kage
With my first step forward, he took one in reverse. “What’re you doing?”
I shook my head, not even sure myself. “You’re not swinging your fists now,” I said.
He skidded backward some more, lifting his hands to ward me off. “Don’t fucking touch me,” he snapped, desperation making his brown eyes wild and glassy.
His intimidation tactic worked. I jerked to a stop, sucking in a surprised breath. Then I let out a growl at my own stupidity because I knew—I knew—he wouldn’t have hurt me if I’d ignored his request, if I’d just reached out and smoothed my fingers over his cheek.
It felt as if I was in the worst predicament of my life, and I’d just lost my one chance to do the right thing. Now I had no idea what to do. I was torn between wringing his neck for being so stubborn and hugging the hell out of him because he’d gone through hell. Except I’d blown my opportunity to touch him.
So I just stood there like an idiot and started to cry again.
He let out a pained sound and squeezed his eyes closed. “Stop it. Stop it right now.”
“Stop what?” I hiccupped. “Stop crying?”
“Yes! Stop fucking crying. I can’t take it.”
I stomped my foot. “No. I will not stop crying. I ache for you. And I will mourn what happened to you, what’s still happening to you, if I want to!”
“I’m going to lose it, City.” He turned so he couldn’t see my face. “I’m not fucking lying.”
I ground my teeth and glared at him. “Then lose it. Do something about all these tears if you don’t like them.”
He zipped his attention my way and gaped at me, his shock momentarily ebbing his rage.
“Do something,” I begged, feeling my heartache drip down each cheek.
Whimpering, he clutched his head. But instead of coming toward me, he turned away and rushed for the door, leaving me alone to cry by myself.
A sob caught in my throat, and for a moment, I didn’t think I’d be able to breathe through it. Then the air came, and I shuddered with defeat.
He’d just left me. I couldn’t believe he’d really leave me.
My knees gave out, so I half-crumbled, half-sat on the floor. Then I curled into a fetal position on the carpet, hugging myself, my head about to explode from the pain throbbing between my temples.
The door reopened so quietly I didn’t hear it. I didn’t even realize he’d returned until he growled, “God fucking damn it,” directly above me, and I nearly jumped out of my skin.
The next thing I knew, his arms were sliding gently around me, warmth and muscle, before my cheek was pressed against a steel chest where his heartbeat thumped loudly in my ear.
“Knox,” I whispered.
“I’m right here,” he said as he lifted me, then carried me from the living room and into my bedroom. He only paused to toe off his shoes, then he crawled into bed with me still in his arms. As he lay down, he draped me on top of him, and I curled around him, hungry and desperate for this contact at long last.
“I can’t believe this happened to you,” I sobbed.
He wrapped me closer and buried his nose into my hair.
It was the most amazing feeling in the world. I relaxed on top of him, so relieved and exhausted to finally be home. I knew I should’ve been the one comforting him, but he was the one who calmed me.
I probably fell asleep within seconds.
I woke rested and yet drained. Day must’ve passed into night, because it was dark in the room. I knew he was still there, though; I was plastered against him like superglue.
His even breaths were like a balm to my ears, and I sighed. I was in bed with Knox Parker. Finally. Though my eyes were gritty and I was sore, plus my heart ached from everything we’d gone through earlier, I stretched like a contented kitten.
I still couldn’t believe what I’d learned, still couldn’t wrap my brain around the horrors my man had suffered. It only made me more determined to heal him, though, to show him there was still good left in the world, life was still worth living, and being with the one you loved was all that mattered.
Letting my hands explore, I slid them up his arms, awed by how much they’d grown. I had no idea a bicep could actually get this big, much less Knox’s. He’d never been small, but...wow, he was massive now. And his skin was so sleek and hard, like slick silk over steel.
My nails scraped gently up the side of his throat and over his cheekbone, delighting in every aspect of him. I was going to make him see, one way or another, that no matter what, we could still be together. We could get past this, and heal, and be happy again.
He sucked in a breath, mumbling, “City.”
“Yes?” I stretched up to kiss his jaw.
He jerked. “What?” Sounding more coherent, he began to sit up, but I pressed a hand to his chest, urging him back down.
“You don’t have to go yet.”
“Felicity.” His voice reminded me of how he’d gotten that rasp. They’d kicked him, damaged his voice box, damaged his soul. But I wasn’t going to let that damage us.
I finally had my man in my arms. Kissing my way down his neck, I slid my hand up his chest. His breath caught, but a second later, he caught my wrist.
“What’re you doing?”
With a husky laugh, I nipped at his shoulder with my teeth. “Do you want me to describe my plans in detail?”
Against me, his body tensed, letting me know he liked what I was doing. But what he growled was, “Stop. This isn’t going to happen. Just because I held you doesn’t mean we’re back together.”
I paused and tipped my head to the side. “Yes, we are. Because we’ve never really been apart. From the moment you bumped into me in those woods, we’ve belonged to each other. I tried to deny it for two years, and you’re trying to deny it now, but it’s not going to change the facts. I don’t care if we’ve grown up. We’re still Knox and City at the core, and we’ll always love each other. You know why?” I leaned in to whisper into his ear. “Because we don’t know how to stop.”
His breathing picked up, the tension in him mounting. He turned to me, and I swear his mouth was close enough to press against mine. I could feel his breath on my lips. “I’ll still fight it,” he swore. “I’ll resist you because I can only hurt you, and I’d rather die than hurt you.”
“The only thing you’ve ever done to hurt me is when you’ve pushed me away.”
“I’m no good for you,” he insisted.
I shook my head. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“City...” He groaned, letting me know he was close. So very close to giving in to me. He just needed one more tiny...nudge.
Using the hand he wasn’t holding captive, I slid my fingers down his body and gripped him through his pants. “I can feel how much you want me.”
He grunted and seized that hand too, but he couldn’t seem to remove my grip from him. Instead, he groaned and pressed my hand in, forcing my palm to grind against his straining cock with more force.
“I’m in bed with a woman I find attractive,” he grated out. “Of course I’m hard.”
I kept working him through his jeans. “Oh really? So I’m just like any other woman to you right now, huh?” With a sniff, I continued, “Sorry, but I don’t buy that. In fact, I bet you couldn’t fuck me like a stranger. I bet the second you filled me, you’d put your entire heart into it. Because we belong together. We love each other.”
He growled and caught my wrist when I went for his zipper. “Really? Now you’re trying to convince me sex is going to fix this. I’ll go back to being the old Knox, and all this shit that keeps haunting me will just...go away.”
“I don’t know,” I said, “but I’m willing to try.”
“Yeah, whatever. You only want an orgasm.”
“Actually, yes, I’d take one of those too. You’re the best I ever had.”
I could feel his surprise as he froze. A second later, he said, “Fine.”
As he l
eapt off the bed, I sat up, confused. “What? Where’re you going?”
“I’m turning on the light. If I’m going to fuck you, I want to see how much you’ve grown up.”
The light flipped on and I blinked against the sudden brightness until my eyes adjusted. Knox remained at the doorway, watching me.
“Take off your clothes,” he said.
Heat zapped through me at Knox’s command, the muscles deep in my stomach clenching hard as moisture welled between my legs.
He was going to attempt it. He was going to try sex with me without any emotion, like some kind of stranger.
My body surged with pleasure at the challenge because I felt confident I would win this round.
Game on, handsome.
But either way, I couldn’t lose, because this was going to feel really good.
Grasping the edge of my shirt, I kept eye contact as I slowly peeled it up and off, over my head. His brown eyes glittered with a primal kind of arousal.
He was going to fuck me. Hard.
God, I almost came just anticipating it.
When I started to undo my pants, his own hand went to his zipper. We watched each other undress, him standing by the light switch, me kneeling on the bed. Once he was naked and I was naked, he said, “Now lie back and open your legs.”
I did, and I’d never felt so exposed before, probably because I wasn’t just baring my body to him, but my soul as well. I was his completely for the taking.
He stalked toward the bed, a predatory gleam on his face. “Wider,” he ordered.
Gulping, I split my legs open as wide as I could get them to go.
“Touch yourself.”
With a whimper, I followed his command, slipping my hand down my body until my fingers were on my clit, slipping over wet, sensitive muscles that made me jump and my nipples harden.
As he watched me work myself, he took his cock into his hand and knelt on the bed between my spread thighs.
“I’m on the pill,” I said. I don’t know why I blurted that. Maybe because I wanted to feel him bare inside me, give him something new I’d never given any man.
He nodded. “I know. I’ve seen them in the medicine cabinet next to my razor.”
“And you...” I bit my lip, dreading the answer. “You haven’t been with anyone since you got out?”
He shook his head. “There’s only ever been you.”
Shivering and so turned on I feared I may come before he entered me, I blew out a breath and lowered my attention to a droplet of precum beading out the end of his cock. God, I couldn’t wait.
“Then I guess there’s really no need for a condom,” I said.
“I guess not.” He glanced up at me again, his eyes glittering as if ready for me to change my mind. But I only smiled.
“I am so eager to feel you inside me again.”
Uncertainty flittered across his face. He wasn’t sure if he could hold his emotions at bay. But he was going to try. After his throat worked through a particularly difficult swallow, he set a hand on the mattress next to my face to brace himself; then, still holding himself by the base, he lined up the head of his cock with my opening.
He was going to touch me as little as possible, I realized. He thought that would help him win. But I didn’t care, this was still the hottest experience of my life, and I knew something he didn’t. It wasn’t possible to keep our hearts out of anything we did together. They’d been united six years ago at our trouble tree.
I swear he didn’t breathe as he looked at the place we were about to join. I could almost read every thought in his head: should he slam into me, prove he had no care for my feelings, or go slow and torture me by resisting and withdrawing before I could come?
I guess he wanted it slow and maddening, because after he barely pushed forward, just fitting the crown into me, he stopped. We both sucked in a breath.
“Oh God,” I moaned, my inner muscles already contracting around the head of him. Needing more, I squirmed and grabbed my breasts, squeezing my own nipples.
“Fuck,” he grunted and shoved the rest of the way in.
The mere stretch of his invasion made me come. Hard.
I lit up, gasping and writhing. It felt so good to be filled with Knox, I rode the high, milking his thick girth until I was left wrung out and deflated.
When I finally found the wherewithal to flutter my lashes open and smile up at the man above me, I discovered a total mess. He’d squeezed his eyes closed and his face was so red it was almost purple, as if he were holding his breath. His arms trembled with effort as he continued to brace them on either side of me and keep himself at a distance.
He was about to snap.
“Knox?” I reached up and touched his cheek.
He opened his eyes, and tears dripped from his lashes, splashing onto my cheeks. “I can’t do it,” he rasped, hissing out a great heaving breath from his lungs. “You were right. I can’t shut it off. I can’t stop loving you.”
“I know, baby. I know.” Cupping both my palms around his face, I wiped more tears off his cheeks with my thumbs.
He sobbed out his distress as he leaned down onto me fully and pressed his forehead to mine. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too.” When I wrapped my legs around his waist, he surged deeper within me and gripped my bottom to bind us together as tightly as possible, until we were as close to becoming one body as two people could get.
His mouth mashed against mine. It was carnal and sweet and about the best, most revitalizing kiss of my life. With one hand in my hair and the other on my ass to keep me where he wanted me, he thrust hard. Then his tongue tangled with mine, and he fucked me with a new purpose.
I arched up, absorbing it all, my body igniting all over again as he drove deep, hitting a bundle of nerves that just couldn’t withstand the impact without contracting and sending me off into another orgasm.
Clenching around him tight, I screamed my way through this one, clutching him and listening to him grunt as he ground hard against my clit and emptied himself.
“God,” I gasped, petting the back of his shoulder as I tried to come back down from that high, but it left me too dazed to do much past keeping my legs securely locked around him so he could never leave me.
He collapsed on me, full weight, and I loved it. Stroking his back and hoping to entice him to stay, I used my nails to occasionally scrape over bare flesh. He moaned his pleasure and I preened happily.
“I should get off you,” he eventually mumbled into my hair.
But I locked my legs tighter. “Don’t you dare.”
He did move somewhat, shifting his hips off me and sliding his face down until his cheek was cushioned against my breasts, but otherwise, he held his arm firmly around my waist, letting me know he wasn’t going anywhere.
The occasional sniff and wetness on my chest told me he continued to cry. But he didn’t want me to see it just yet, so I let him have that privacy.
“Are you going to say I told you so?” he finally asked, no heat behind his voice, just curiosity.
“Mmm.” I closed my eyes, feeling languid and happy as I kept caressing my fingernails over his back. “Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow when I have some brain cells again.”
He let out a breath, then said, “City?”
“Yeah?”
“I really did miss you.”
I hugged my arms around his shoulders. “I missed you too.”
“Are you still going to be here in the morning? Or is this just a dream?”
“I’ll still be here.”
He sighed out his relief and relaxed against me fully. “Good.”
I swear, he fell asleep in that very instant. But that was fine with me because I wasn’t long to follow.
When I woke to daylight pressing at my closed window curtains, he was still there. I was still there, and we were still wrapped naked together.
We’d shifted position throughout the night until I was the one draped halfway on
top of him, my leg thrown over his hip and my head resting on his heartbeat. I lifted my face to study his. He’d grown into a man, someone who barely looked like the boy I once knew, but I liked this version of him too. Even the scar gave him character.
I touched it softly, remembering how Mason had told me he’d gotten it. I hated knowing what had happened to him, hearing how he’d suffered and what he’d had to do to survive, but it made me feel closer to him. And I loved him even more.
I just wished last night had been enough to keep him from running again. If he pushed me away today, I wasn’t sure I could handle it. Leaning in, I kissed his facial scar in three different places.
I knew he was awake when his lips tightened into a smile.
“Do I sense the return of my princess charming?”
I grinned, delighted he remembered that. “I don’t know. Does my sleeping beauty require another true love’s kiss to awaken him?”
Keeping his eyes closed, he smiled broader. “Oh, I think he does.”
“Well then, a girl must do her duty properly.”
I slipped up onto his lap, straddling his morning wood until it slid right up against my slick folds. He arched up his hips and rumbled out a sound of approval. Once I was in position, I leaned down to kiss him. As soon as my lips touched his, I canted my hips and joined us together, urging his cock inside me.
He gasped, his eyes flying open as he pushed his hips up again, piercing me fully. “Oh, God. Shit.”
I straightened upright with a satisfied grin on my face before I lifted my bottom and came back down on him, riding slowly. He grabbed my waist, clutching me hard as he gaped up at me from dazed brown eyes.
“What is this?” he asked, nearly going cross-eyed as I increased the pace. “The dirty version of Sleeping Beauty?”
I smiled. “Why not? Someone once told me everything was better when it was dirty.”
“Jesus, I was a genius.” He grunted and reared up under me. “Can we wake up this way every day?”
Biting my lip, as I’m sure my face filled with smoky pleasure, I leaned over him to grasp his shoulders. “I think I can be persuaded to do this in one position or another each and every morning.”
