She tugs the bag off the counter. “Considering I’m too young for a credit card, that would be a yes.”
“Oh, you woman of the world, you,” I tease on a smirk that’s returned by her.
“I’m glad I ran into you.” She drops her shopping to the floor and hops up onto the counter, kicking her legs. Once again, Mr. Chaps doesn’t bat an eyelid, just gets on with ringing my buys through the till.
“Why, so you can get a sick thrill out of making me blush?”
Her grin turns impish. “I’m sorry. I think it’s hilarious watching you and Dad pretending you don’t fancy each other.”
This kid. “Was it that obvious?” I ask, deciding not to beat around the bush any longer. Besides, I’m curious as to what she’s making of her dad fancying the pants off me.
“It’s a good job you’re into painting and not acting, because you’re rubbish at it.”
She’s wrong. I was an amazing actress for years. I even fooled myself for a time. I blink hard, fighting to keep the impending flashback at bay.
“Hannah, are you okay?”
Alex is looking at me with concern, and I scan my surroundings, reminding myself that I’m not in that world anymore. That woman is dead. “Yes, sorry, I’m fine.” I swallow and force a smile as I pay and collect my things, picking up Alex’s bag and handing it over. “You’d better be going before your dad starts to worry.”
Slipping down, she takes her ice cream and we walk out of the store together. “I’ll walk you to the end of the street,” I tell her, leading the way. I need some fresh air, anyway, something to clear my mind. I slip the bottle of wine under my arm and take off the lid of my Chunky Monkey, diving in as we stroll. “I was thinking…” I offer Alex the tub and plastic scoop, and she takes it, helping herself. I owe her, I suppose. “You know the town fete?”
Her eyes roll. “Yeah, I know the town fete.”
Of course she does. I forgot; she’s a direct descendant of the Hamptons. “So there’s this painting competition I’m organizing and I think you should enter.”
She stuffs the tub back in my hand. “Really? Do you think I’m good enough?”
God bless her. “Of course you’re good enough.” I smile around the scoop. “But it won’t be anything accidental. You have to paint the high street.”
She slows to a stop and turns back, looking down the street, and I join her, my head tilted as I continue to spoon ice cream into my mouth. It really is a lovely high street.
“I’m in,” Alex declares, taking the container from my hand. “It’ll be nice for me to paint something rather than something painting me.” She feeds a huge blob into her mouth and goes on her way.
“What?” I say, following on behind.
“The beauty pageant.” She gives me an exasperated roll of her eyes. “I’ve won it every year since Mum started putting me in disgusting dresses, putting loads of stupid makeup on me, and making me stand on the stage in front of everyone.”
“You?” I laugh but quickly rein it in when Alex stops walking and throws me a miffed look. “Sorry, it’s just…” I let my eyes travel the length of her body, from her back-to-front baseball cap, past the oversize dungarees, to the beat-up old Vans on her feet.
We get on our way again. “Don’t laugh.” Alex surrenders the ice cream.
Guilt grabs me. “I’m sorry. Why’d you do it if you hate it so much?”
“Because it makes my mother happy.”
“Arh, Alex. You’re not responsible for your mother’s happiness. She’s a grown woman.”
“Yeah, I know. She’s a real pain in the butt, but she’s having a hard time at the moment so I’m trying not to be difficult.” We pass the churchyard on the right and the school on the left. I’m desperate to ask what this hard time is all about, but I refrain, not wanting to be nosy. It’s really none of my business. “Look at that,” Alex says, pointing into the graveyard. “Me and Dad put down those flowers.”
I see a spray of white roses. “Is that your dad’s mum’s grave?”
She nods. “I never got to meet her. Nanna died when I was a baby. I don’t remember, but Dad said she thought I was a little angel.”
My heart squeezes. “I’m sure she’d be very proud of the lovely young lady you’ve become.”
“Dad says I’ve inherited her sass and beauty.” She gives me a grin, and I smile softly, looking back to the high street.
“I suppose I should be heading back.” Handing over the last of the ice cream, I start to wander away, looking back over my shoulder. “My debt is paid.”
“Why don’t you come back to Dad’s with me?”
My getaway is halted by her question, and I turn, wondering if the hope I see in her eyes is my imagination. “Oh, I don’t think so,” I say, backing away.
“Why?”
I’m stopped again, and I ask myself that very question. Why? “You went to the store for ice cream. If you turn up with me, too, your dad might not be happy.” Would he be happy?
“Oh, he’ll be very happy.”
He will be? “How d’you know that?” Listen to me, trying to get reassurance from the ten-year-old daughter of the man I’m crushing on. I can’t even bring myself to be ashamed of myself, because, ultimately, her approval means a lot to me. Because it means a lot to Ryan.
Alex drops her bag of ice cream to the ground on an almighty huff. “Because he fed you my Chunky Monkey. Dad’s never given away our Chunky Monkey before, and he’s definitely never had a woman stay the night.”
My back straightens, and while I know this is an obvious sign with how pleased I am, I can’t help it. Neither do I want to. I’m very pleased. I’m also a little bit surprised. “Oh,” is all my brain gives me.
“And, you know, we talked. About you guys playing Monopoly and all.” This kid has the driest sense of humor. “Hannah,” she says, stepping toward me. “I don’t want Dad to be worried that I might not like him having a girlfriend. So if you come with me now, then that will show him that I’m cool with it. Because I am. Because you’re really cool. And I’d love for you to be the lady who Dad lives happily ever after with.”
Good God, where did that come from? “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” I say, feeling a huge lump forming in my throat. She wants her dad to live happily ever after. With me? But suddenly, the gravity of my situation hits me hard in the stomach. If I have to leave Hampton, it won’t just be my heart that breaks. It’ll be Ryan’s and Alex’s, too. God, am I doing the right thing? I honestly don’t know, but I hope I can work it out.
I discreetly sniffle and cock my arm out for her to link. Her smile is huge as she accepts, and we start toward the track that will lead me to Ryan. And Alex doesn’t shut up the entire way, talking about anything and everything.
I’m so engrossed by our easy chatter, I neglect to notice that we’ve arrived at the cabin. Until a sharp thwack steals my attention. I look away from Alex and find Ryan by the shed chopping wood.
Holy fuck.
The axe rises. His muscles undulate. His face twists as he puts his full weight behind his swing. And two pieces of wood fly in opposite directions, along with my dignity. Mother always taught me not to stare. She surely didn’t mean when faced with Ryan Willis.
“Dad!” Alex yells, and he swings around, giving me an eyeful of that lovely, rough chest. I have to close my eyes and work hard to grab ahold of my scattered senses.
The head of the axe hits the ground, forcing my gaze back up, and Ryan leans on it, wiping his sweaty brow. His relaxed position only accentuates every muscle on his torso. “You picking up strays in the woods again, Cabbage?”
“Oh, you’re too damn adorable,” I quip, forcing my eyes to my feet so not to ogle Alex’s father in front of her.
“I saw Hannah at the store,” she declares, releasing my arm and taking my wine from my hand. “I’ll put this in the fridge for you.” She skips off, leaving me all alone to hold myself up.
The conni
ving sod. She knows what she’s doing. I stand, still as can be, waiting for…I don’t know what. A sign that he’s pleased to see me? Is he? I glance up and shrug. “I only went to the store for wine and ice cream. She’s very persuasive.”
“Oh, I know.” He wiggles the handle of the axe, drilling it into the dirt so it stands up.
“Hope you don’t mind.” I motion around his lovely retreat. “Me invading your sanctuary.”
His lip quirks at the corner. Ryan Willis has one of those memorable smiles. Not because it’s crooked from his scar, but more because it has such an impact on me. It’s genuine. Sexy. And not only that, it seems to always trigger one from me. That alone makes it the best smile I’ve ever encountered. Not to mention the blaze of desire that tears through me each and every time he flashes me one. I have never in my life been so out of control of myself. It’s exhilarating. Stimulating. And on that thought, my thighs tighten, and I take a long, stabilizing inhale. It doesn’t work. And really, I don’t care that my attempts to compose myself fail. I don’t care that he sees how flustered he gets me.
He steps forward, his boots crunching through the debris. “I don’t mind at all.” His full-blown smile breaks as he paces over to me, that chest shimmering with sweat. His jeans are hanging low, the waistband of his boxers peeking out of the top, the hems caught in the tops of his boots. God save me from this torture. My eyes flick to the cabin where Alex just disappeared, worried, and I step back, though my attempt to escape is pathetic. I’m captured by him, his big hands virtually circling my waist.
“Trying to run again?” he asks, lifting me from my feet, leaving me no choice but to grab his naked shoulders.
“Ryan,” I wheeze, wanting to check for Alex again, but being unable to tear my attention from him.
He says nothing, just maintains his disarming smile and eases up his hold so I slide slowly down his front until our mouths meet, Ryan dipping to keep us connected when I come to rest on my feet. Every concern escapes me. Every woe I’ve ever had is forgotten. Every tiny piece of my lost soul is found. He kisses me without a care in the world, so deeply, so meaningfully, and with a pressure that screams devotion.
Lost completely, I slip my hands over his shoulders to his neck, curling around him, squeezing him tightly. And the deadly storm that possesses me becomes damaging for different reasons. Peace has never been so tumultuous. My arms around his neck, his palms firm on my waist. My tongue aches, my lips feel swollen, I’m out of breath. None of it matters. The world melts away, and I melt with it, right in the arms of this breathtaking, mesmerizing man.
“Ryan, what?” he whispers across my lips, pecking the corner lightly before pulling back a few inches to get me in his sights.
I shake my head mildly, telling him I’ve forgotten what, and drag my palms back down onto his front, unapologetically feeling his chest as I watch.
“You okay?” he asks, and I nod, a while away yet from finding my tongue. “Alex and I were going to head down to the lake. Up for that?”
I nod again, looking up into his eyes. I feel like a million things I want to say are stuck in my mouth, waiting to fall out, but my thick tongue is holding them back. And maybe a little apprehension. It’s too soon for my imagination to be running away with me, wondering what could be. Whether Ryan could be the reason I need to stop running. All I know is that I feel like I belong. But…do I? Can I be with a man who is so in the dark? Is that fair? Can I deceive him to that extent?
Sliding his hand to the side of my head into my hair, he closes his eyes and pulls me forward, placing a kiss above my eyebrow. “I’m glad you’re here, Hannah,” he says against my skin. “And I hope you stay awhile.”
I nod once more, and in this tender moment I reluctantly admit to myself that Ryan doesn’t deserve my lies. Not when he’s been so open with me. Can I tell him everything there is to tell? And what would happen if I did?
“Ahem!”
I don’t dive out of Ryan’s space, don’t panic or dread what’s to come. It doesn’t appear Ryan’s worried, either, his body still, his heartbeats level and calm under my palm. I peek up at him, finding he has a little ironic-smirk thing going on as he turns his head a fraction to the left, remaining close to me. “Ready?” he asks Alex, so casually.
“I’ve been ready for like five minutes,” she counters, and I chance a look her way, finding her taking the steps down from the veranda. She picks up an axe from beside the pile of logs—a smaller axe—and raises it over her head, watching us. “It was you two who were busy.” Down it comes, splitting the piece of wood accurately. “Are you done?”
I should be blushing, but instead I’m looking at the axe she’s now swinging casually as she regards us with interest. “That’s a nice small axe,” I say, moving in front of Ryan and pointing at the rather tidy, manageable tool in her hand.
She looks down, clearly confused by my interest. “Don’t let the size fool you. It’s lethal.”
I hear Ryan laughing behind me. “That’s the axe I taught Alex to chop with when she was little,” he says, sounding wistful. “She’s become rather attached to it.”
I turn to face him. “So why, when you tried to teach me, did you not let me use that one?” It looks far lighter, far more controllable for a first-timer.
“Because”—he dips and gets his face close to mine—“you wouldn’t have needed any help.” He waggles his eyebrows.
“Crafty,” I mutter.
“Or clever.” He seizes me and hauls me up over his shoulder, and I squeal like a girl. Collecting his big, manly axe, he marches across the lawn. With me draped over his shoulder.
“Seriously, Dad!” Alex calls after us. “Put her down.”
“Yes, put me down.”
Ryan stops, tosses the axe aside, and turns, marching back to his daughter. “There’s room for you, too, Cabbage.” He bends and claims her, tossing her up over his other shoulder, and I laugh, seeing her flop over his muscled back like a sack of spuds, her cap falling from her head. Alex’s squeal is far less girlie than mine, but it’s still shocked.
“Oh my God, Dad!” She wedges her palms into his lower back as Ryan paces off with us each draped over a shoulder, like he could be carrying nothing, heading to a nearby opening through some trees. Once Alex has successfully flicked her hair off her face, she looks across to me, our faces only a few inches apart, as we bounce up and down in time to Ryan’s stride. I can’t stop smiling, and, thank goodness, Alex is beaming, too.
“How are you two back there?” he calls, and I freeze when I feel his hand slip onto my arse and squeeze, my eyes widening unstoppably. What’s he doing?
“Fine,” I squeak, giving Alex an awkward smile and a pathetic, nervous laugh when she frowns at me.
Craning her head, she tries to look up and immediately rolls her eyes. She flops back down and grins across at me. “So, has my dad kissed you yet?” She feigns throwing up down Ryan’s back while I stare at her in utter astonishment. I mean, it’s great that she’s being so accepting, but does that mean constant bouts of embarrassment on my part? I’m a thirty-three-year-old woman. She’s ten.
“Never give a boy your kisses until he’s earned them.” Back at ya, Cabbage. I need to get this on an even keel before I disintegrate under the constant blushes.
I feel Ryan’s palm squeeze my leg. “Hannah’s right.”
“Well,” Alex says casually. “I’ve kissed a boy before.”
Ryan stops in his tracks, and we both jolt as a result. “What was that?”
I give Alex wide eyes before wriggling for Ryan to let me down. He does, although he keeps Alex where she is, helpless and at the mercy of what’s to come. Silly girl. “Hey, how come Hannah gets free and I don’t?” She has a futile shuffle around. “Dad!”
“I’ve kissed a boy before,” Ryan mimics, scowling. “When? Where? Who?”
“All right, I lied!” She huffs and goes floppy on his shoulder. “But my friend has.”
“What have I
told you about lying?”
“That every lie I tell you, a little piece of you dies.”
I can’t help my little swoon. Ryan lowers Alex to the ground and she does everything she can to avoid facing him. “Hey.” He squeezes her cheeks in one hand, forcing her to look him in the eye. “Stop acting all big britches. It’s not funny and it’s not clever.”
“Stop acting all Romeo, then,” she mumbles back through her puckered lips before smacking his hand away. “It’s not cool and it’s not…cool.”
“Who says?” I move in and cuddle into Ryan’s side, nestling my face under his neck. “I like him acting all Romeo.” His arms come around me, and Alex’s face twists terribly, disgust creasing it, but I can see clear as day the twinkle in her eye.
Lifting her chin, she pivots and wanders off. “No petting by the lake,” she calls over her shoulder.
“Lake?” I question, looking up at Ryan. He just nods the way, and I release him, following Alex through the overgrowth, so intrigued. When I break through the clearing into the open, what I find takes my breath away.
“Welcome to Coca-Cola Lake,” Alex calls from a nearby tree, looking up into the branches. “I think this could work, Dad.” She points at something—I don’t know what—and Ryan wanders over to her and inspects whatever it is she’s found.
I turn and make toward the lake and kick off my shoes, walking down to the small shore. I’m completely blown away. The water is so still, no ripples anywhere, and as I gaze around I see a small jetty with a boat. The whole lake is concealed by trees, massive trees, all towering up into the sky, guarding this little gem.
“Hidden enough for you?” Ryan whispers in my ear, coming in behind me.
“Yeah,” is all I say, reaching behind me to clasp his head, bringing him closer. I look to my side to find him, and something in his eyes speaks to me. Except I don’t know what he’s saying. “Why’s it called Coca-Cola Lake?” I ask.
“When Alex was little, I taught her to swim here. She thought the bubbles underwater looked like the fizz in cola.”
I smile. So cute. “Do you still swim?”
Leave Me Breathless Page 18
