by Pamela Morsi
“Yes, he did,” Aunt Phyl agreed. “And I wished for him that someday he could find someone who would make him happy, someone he could make a family with, and that he’d be able to leave all that sadness behind him.”
Red nodded. “Of course you’d want that for him,” she said. “I even want that for him.”
“And you and I have exactly the right person in mind,” Phyl said. “Someone young and sophisticated and cultured, who can give him children and help him establish a place for himself in the community. A nice young woman like Tasha, perhaps.” Red made no comment.
“That’s how it should be for him. We both know that. But you see, Red, the thing is, Campbell has his heart set on someone else. A woman very different from one I would have chosen for him.”
The older woman looked across the table at her meaningfully.
“I want you to know I haven’t encouraged him in that at all.”
Slowly, Aunt Phyl nodded. “Well, perhaps it is time that you should. I really think for once, Campbell deserves to get what he really wants.”
To: [email protected]
December 1 5:19 p.m.
From: [email protected]
Subject: It is December
Hiya lovely Mom do u know what? It is December and I think it is my favorite month. Cause it is the month when you come home. I am SO happy. They turned on the Christmas lights on Broadway Street and it makes me so happy to see them. Red and green with big reeths. And at school we are decorating. Other kids r happy 2. They are happy cause they are thinking about presents and candy and Santa Claus. But I am different. I am not thinking about Santa Claus I am thinking about my mom. Every twingle light every Christmas carol every HO! HO! HO! says you are coming home real soon.
Nayras mom said I can go shopping with them on Sunday afternoon. If I do then I miss seeing Abuela cause seeing her takes the whole day. Daddy should not a moved her so far away from us. Cam says I am so lucky to have 2 things in one day I really want to do. Red says that maybe it would be good for Daniel to get some alone time with Abuela. But it is up to me. So I don't know. I guess I probably could go another time with Red. But it would be SO fun with Nayra.
Daniel is good. He is happy and he is doing better on the violin. He likes to practice more now cause Aunt Phil listens and praysis him a lot. She is kinda weird old lady but she likes us now. She praysis me to but it means more to Daniel. She did bring a box of old make-up and jewelry for me. Nayra and I got all glam. The next day she brought hats. Not like caps but like ladys hats. My fav is a flat red one with a feather and has this red net stuff that hangs in front of your face. Aunt Phil says I can keep it but I can't wear it to school.
I got to go she has dinner fixed. I luv U Mom. Don't worry about us. Daniel and I are fine. When u get home I got a ka-zillian kisses I been saving for U.
Livy
29
It was too early on Sunday morning when the phone started ringing. Red assumed it would be Olivia, who was at Nayra’s house on a sleepover, but it wasn’t.
“Hey, Red, it’s me.”
Red was surprised at the sudden whoosh of pleasure that poured through her. The sound of her daughter’s voice had, not so long ago, filled her with waves of guilt. Now it just reminded her how much she missed her.
“Bridge, you sound great.”
“I’m fine,” her daughter agreed. “Sorry to call so early.”
Red hastily glanced at the clock. “It’s time for me to get up, anyway,” Red answered. “We’re traveling back and forth to the valley today, so we’ll need to get up and get on the road.”
“How’s Abuela doing?”
“Honestly, Bridge, she’s still pretty bad off and it’s like she’s kind of stuck,” Red said. “I don’t see a whole lot of improvement since she got to that place. And I am going to tell that to Mike myself, if the sorry sack of shit ever calls to talk to his kids.”
“Don’t waste your breath,” Bridge told her. “When I get home, I’ll try to see what I can do about finding a better place for Abuela. I don’t think Mike cares where she is, as long as it’s no inconvenience to him.”
“You’re probably right.”
“How are the kids?”
“They’re okay,” Red answered. “Olivia’s having a sleepover at Nayra’s and then a big day of Christmas shopping. Daniel’s really excited to go see Abuela without his big sister in charge.”
“I’ll bet.”
“And Cam is driving down with us,” Red said. “Daniel really likes that. Those two will probably make stupid jokes and have belching contests the whole way. I guess it’s a guy thing.”
“The kids like him a lot,” Bridge said. “It sounds like you picked a really good guy.”
“Yeah, he is, but you know me. My hookups with men have a real short shelf life. I’ll likely be dumping him for some mean-tempered loser as soon as I get a chance.”
“Well, don’t,” Bridge stated unequivocally. “You are in complete charge of your life and you can choose to be happy if you put your mind to it.”
Red smiled into the phone.
“Oh, darling,” Red told her. “I don’t know where you got your view of the world, but it’s one of the things I most admire about you.”
“Thanks,” she answered quietly.
There was a long, almost too intimate moment of silence and Red hurried to fill the gap.
“Daniel’s already had breakfast and is in the shower. Let me go holler at him. I know he wants to talk to you.”
“Wait,” Bridge said. “First I need to talk to you. We’ve had a bit of bad news here.”
“What kind of bad news?”
“Not the worst kind,” Bridge assured her. “Just a hiccup really. I may not be able to get out of here by Christmas.”
“They haven’t extended your tour?”
“No, nothing like that,” Bridge assured her. “It’s just a logistical snafu. I may be a few days later than I thought. I’m still aiming for Christmas Eve, but it’s looking from here that I might not get moving as soon as I thought. I don’t know how the kids are going to take that. I know they have their hopes up. It could be three or four days, maybe even a week after Christmas.”
“Then we’ll wait,” Red told her daughter. “Christmas this year is not a date on the calendar, it’s when you get home.”
“I don’t know how well that will go over,” Bridge said.
“It will be fine,” Red assured her. “You’ve raised some very good, very thoughtful kids. I’ll make sure that more waiting just adds to the anticipation.”
There was a long hesitation on the other end of the line.
“I appreciate that, Red,” Bridge said finally. “You’ve been really good about this.”
“I’m happy to get a chance to help,” Red replied honestly. “It’s little enough to do for the person who saved my life.”
“Saved your life?” Bridge’s tone was incredulous.
“Yeah, Bridge, I think you probably saved my life,” Red said.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“And I don’t know if I can even explain it,” Red answered. “I guess... well, I guess I had more than my share of chances to get lost down some dark roads. But then I had you and you needed me to try harder. If I hadn’t had you, someone I loved and who needed me, I might never have had the guts to make the best I could out of where I found myself.”
Red paused for a moment, wondering if she’d said too much.
“You know why I gave you your name?” she asked.
“Because the first place we lived was under a bridge,” her daughter replied.
“That’s true, but it’s more than that. You were my way to get from a bad life to a better one. So...so I owe you.”
“Taking care of my kids, I think that makes the past as paid in full,” she answered.
When Daniel got on the line, his conversation with his mother went well. He didn’t quite know what to make of the new timelin
e, where the arrival of Christmas was based on Mom and not December 25. But by the time Cam showed up and they got on the road, he was going along with the change of plan.
The trip down was very much how Red had described it to her daughter—boys being boys. Two and a half hours of knock-knocking and rude noises.
They stopped for lunch on the road at Chentes in Alice. Cam and Daniel played a game where Cam would direct Daniel’s attention elsewhere and then grab the taco off his plate. Daniel would make a big complaint and then, a few seconds later, clumsily attempt to do the same to Cam. Cam would look away as he was supposed to. Daniel would grab the taco. Then Cam would make a complaint. The taco traded hands three or four times before Red decided to step in.
“It’s really not very sanitary to keep passing food around like that,” she scolded and then glanced past Cam. “Is that a fire truck?”
Both guys turned to look. Red grabbed the taco and by the time they glanced back, she’d taken a giant bite out of it.
“Guess it’s mine now,” she said.
The protests were only silenced by the arrival of flan for everyone.
After lunch they drove straight south to McAllen and the nursing home where Abuela, as well as her sister, Tia Celia, shared a semiprivate room. Both ladies were delighted by the arrival of Daniel. Tia Celia seemed to think he was one of her grandchildren and kept talking to the boy as he tried to communicate with his abuela.
Red waited at the doorway, not wanting to crowd into the small room but unwilling to just leave Daniel completely on his own. The little boy followed the example his sister had set for him and maintained the usual style of their visits. He sat next to his old abuela and held her hand. Skipping back and forth between English and Spanish, he told her everything he’d been doing. When his news about games and school and home began to wind down, he struggled to come up with new things to say. Red gave him much credit for valor and didn’t even fault him when he sunk to the level of first-grade jokes.
“What did the tortilla chip say to the cracker? I am not cho cheese.”
The old woman made no attempt to talk. Even smiling the half smile she had left seemed more of a strain than a joy. But shining from those brown eyes, huge against her hollowed cheeks, was a feast of pleasure at having the boy by her side.
When it was time to leave, Daniel kissed his grandmother on the forehead. "Te amo, Abuela,” he told her.
The bright smile he’d given the old woman turned into a trembling lip by the time he reached the hallway. Red squeezed his young shoulder to offer what comfort she could.
“Abuela is different on the outside,” she told him. “But inside, Daniel, she’s exactly the same as she always was. And she still loves you so much.”
Daniel nodded.
In the nursing home’s main living room, they joined Cam, who was listening intently to an elderly man on the couch beside him.
Daniel broke away from Red and ran to Cam. He opened his arms and the child propelled himself into Cam’s chest. Red watched as Cam enfolded the boy in his arms and hugged him tightly.
“Hey, guy,” Cam said as he loosened his grip. “Let me introduce you here. This is Herelio.” He indicated the man beside him. “Herelio, this is Daniel.”
The boy regained his composure and offered his hand to the elderly man. Instead, the man patted Daniel on the arm and spoke rapidly to him in Spanish.
Daniel answered him in a polite and deferential tone.
Cam rose to his feet, there were goodbyes and handshakes all around. Then they headed to the car.
“I didn’t think you spoke enough Spanish to carry on a conversation,” Red said to Cam.
He shrugged. “He’s an old man with stories to tell,” Cam answered. “I didn’t understand hardly any of it, but all I was required to say was ‘si’—yes—and ‘verdad?’—is that the truth. Herelio could take it from there.”
Outside, Daniel quietly climbed into the backseat of the van and strapped himself in. Red, who had done the driving on the way down, was relegated to the passenger seat. When Cam turned the wrong direction out of the parking lot, she questioned him.
“We’re not headed straight home today,” he said. “Daniel and I have some important business to take care of here.”
Red glanced at the boy in the backseat. His expression was as curious as her own.
The important business turned out to be an amusement park where the three of them spent two hours racing go-carts and splashing around in bumper boats.
By the time they headed up the road toward San Antonio, Daniel was exhausted but had regained his smile.
They stopped for burgers at the Dairy Queen in Falfurrias. Red took the opportunity to call Nayra’s parents to find out how the shopping trip went and to let them know when they’d be by to pick up Olivia. She talked to Olivia for a couple of minutes. Olivia was having a great time and the two girls were already plotting for the future.
“Nayra has to stay a weekend with us now,” Olivia insisted.
“We’ll see,” Red hedged, suspecting that the girl’s very protective parents were already less than overjoyed by Red’s late-shift work schedule and nontypical family situation.
As she hung up, Red thought about what might happen to her granddaughter’s new friendship once Bridge came home.
Once they were back on the road, she mentioned her concerns to Cam.
“Well, she can certainly stay at my house with the kids until she figures out what to do,” he said. “You and I will just have to start bunking together at the apartment.” He feigned a leering eyebrow. “That’ll give you a lot of opportunity to make it up to me for the loss of my house.”
She laughed lightly and shook her head. “Be careful what you wish for, cowboy, it might turn out to be more than you can handle.”
“I’ll take my chances,” he promised.
“Why do you call Cam a cowboy?” Daniel asked from the backseat.
“I call all my guy friends cowboy,” Red answered. “That way I don’t have to remember their names.”
“I thought you were asleep,” Cam said.
“No, I’m just resting my eyes,” he assured them.
The little boy’s eyes continued to rest and a few minutes later, his head leaned over at an angle and his mouth dropped open slightly.
“It’s nice of you to offer your house, Cam,” Red said. “But Bridge is so independent. She’s not going to want to accept anything from you or me or anyone. She’ll have to find a place that she can afford to rent.”
“I’ll talk to Aunt Phyl,” he said. “Her posse of the blue-haired and well-heeled owns property all over town. Maybe she can come up with some appropriate place to suggest to Bridge. I mean, it makes sense. It’s a good neighborhood and it’s close to Fort Sam. So, it’s really a question of finding something that Bridge could afford where the kids wouldn’t have to make another change of school.”
“That would be great,” Red said.
She leaned her head back in her seat, watching the lights on the dark road ahead.
“I hope...” She hesitated.
“What?”
“I hope I still get to see the kids after Bridge gets home,” she said. “She’s never really seemed to want me around much. And that didn’t bother me. I didn’t know them. But now I do. I don’t want to go back to seeing them once or twice a year.”
Cam nodded. “I know exactly how you feel,” he said. “I’m crazy about those kids. And right now I’m the most visible male figure in their lives. But I don’t have any standing at all. I hate to think about Daniel or Olivia needing me and I might never even know it.”
Red thought about that for a long moment.
“So, what we’ll have to do is stay friends,” she told him. “Even after we’re not together anymore.”
Cam snorted. “How many of your old sex buddies are you friends with, Red?” he asked rhetorically and then answered the question himself. “None. When you dump us, well, just stick a f
ork in it, ’cause it’s done.”
Red knew he was right. Her breakups had always involved plenty of angry screaming and animus. They’d included a variety of thrown objects, irrational threats and occasional bloodletting.
“I... We’ll have to do it differently,” she said. “I’m old enough to behave like a grown-up. And I think you are, too.”
“I’d like us to behave like grown-ups,” he said. “Do you even know how grown-ups like us behave when they are best friends, cherished lovers and great in bed together?” Cam didn’t wait for her to answer. “They agree to make a life together. They go down to city hall and sign a paper that says, ‘it’s us now, not just me,’ and they stand up in church and say, ‘For better for worse, in sickness and in health. Only death can tear us apart.’”
“Don’t start this now,” Red said.
“Looks to me like the perfect time,” he answered. “You can’t run away. You can’t even start a fight because you’d wake up Daniel. I can’t imagine a better chance to get you to talk to me about something so important.”
“Cam, I can’t marry you,” she said flady.
“Because you don’t love me?” he asked. “Answer honestly now, we owe each other the truth.”
She sighed. “I do love you. I admit that. But I’m not very good at loving people.”
“That’s not what I see, Red. I see you loving your daughter enough to change your life for her. Loving these kids with all the natural openness we’d expect of any grandmother. And loving me, even against your better judgment to do so.”
“Cam, you don’t know all that I’ve been, things that I’ve done.”
“No, and I don’t care,” he answered. “I’m not going to be scared off by your history with other men. I’m not those other men. And this is not then, it’s now. I believe in living for now.”
Red shook her head and sighed. “Cam, you are a terrific guy. You’d make a wonderful husband. But I know your type. It’s a great type but it’s not the right type for me.”
“My type? When have you ever had a clue about who I am?” he asked. “You thought I was a wastrel musician. Then you thought I was a trust-fund kid. Now you just think I’m lazy and lack ambition.”
