Love in the Dark

by 12 Book Boxed Set (epub)

  I slowly exhale the breath I didn’t know I was holding. Dane scoots near me and leans in. “Damn, Rylee! What the hell’s going on here?” I give him a bemused look, as if I don’t know what he’s talking about. “If I didn’t know any better, that stare said he wanted to eat you for dessert.” I laugh at him, nudging him playfully, trying to avoid having to answer. And to hide the blush crawling into my cheeks, remembering Colton’s version of cotton candy dessert. “The man obviously wants you, girl!”

  “Oh, whatever! You read the tabloids, Dane. He’s a total player. I’m sure he gives that look to every woman.” I’m grateful for the distraction when Zander sidles up next to me, and I place my hand on his shoulder. Colton notices and looks up from the other boys to meet Zander’s eyes. He moves from the crowd of boys and walks over to kneel in front of us.

  “Hiya, Zander. I’m so glad you could come today.” Colton remains still, watching and waiting for an indication from Zander about how he should proceed.

  I suck in a breath as I hear a hoarse sound from Zander’s mouth. A croaked, “Hi,” comes out and the cautious smile on Colton’s face spreads to a megawatt grin. A tear trickles down my cheek, and I quickly dash it away, looking over to Dane and Jackson to see relief and pride on their faces as well.

  Zander spoke his first word!

  Colton clears his throat, and I think the moment may have gotten to him too. “So I’m going to need special help from you later, if that’s okay?” When Zander nods, Colton slowly reaches out, showing Zander the intention of his actions, and when he doesn’t flinch, Colton gently tousles his hair.

  Colton glances up to me as he stands, and the tears swimming in my eyes are for both Zander’s reaction and because of the man before me. Over everything that can’t be with him. He gives me a resigned, knowing smile before turning his focus back on the other six boys. “So guys, are you ready to head down to the pits, check out the car, and get ready to test it all out?” Colton staggers back playfully at the roar of the boys’ consent. “I take that as a yes!” He laughs.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a statuesque blonde enter the room with a clipboard in one hand, a worn baseball cap in the other, and an official-looking pass around her neck. She leans against the doorjamb watching Colton and must feel my stare on her because she turns, slowly eying me up and down. Her eyes finally meet mine, a small smirk on her lips and a less than friendly look in her eyes. And then it dawns on me who she is. She’s Tawny Taylor: sometimes escort, CD Enterprises employee, and who knows what else to Colton. I bristle at the realization; her lengthy legs, sample size figure, long blonde hair, and stunning face making me feel beyond insecure. Why would Colton chase someone like me when he could have someone like her?

  Colton looks over at her as she says his name in her throaty voice, interrupting his answer to Shane’s question. “Just a minute, boys.” He excuses himself and walks over to where she stands.

  She holds out the battered baseball cap, and he runs a hand through his hair before placing it on his head. I hear their quiet voices and make out a few words in between the yells of my boys. Colton holds his hands on his hips, broad shoulders filling out the faded T-shirt, as he nods his head at Tawny. Her smile is wide, knowing, and when she reaches a hand out to place it on Colton’s upper arm, I hate her immediately. My ears perk as I hear my name. What? Tawny glances over at me quickly before returning to Colton. It seems as if they are wrapping things up, so I busy myself by paying attention to the posters hanging on the walls. I hear Colton say, “Thanks,” before returning to his audience. Tawny turns for the door and notices me studying her. She flashes me an insincere, catty smile as she walks out the door. Her smile says it all. Colton’s her territory, and I’m just an intruder.

  Well, game on, sweetheart!

  With Tawny gone and at least one adversary known, I turn my attention back to Colton, who is telling the boys what to expect from testing. He patiently and simply answers their questions. Zander stands closely to Colton, engaged in watching the conversation, his eyes never leaving his face. When he finishes, Davis glances at his watch and pipes up, “Okay, guys, I’m going to lead you down to the pits. You guys can sit in the seats right above so you can see everything. We’re also going to get you outfitted with headsets so that you can hear us talking back and forth with Colton.” He grabs his clipboard and turns toward the door, “So if you’ll follow me, we’ll get you all set!”

  The boys fidget animatedly as they fall into line behind Davis. I grab my bag and start to follow, anxiety rising at the possibility of being alone with Colton. I usually have strong will power but when it comes to Colton, it’s nonexistent. I take my first step when I hear his voice behind me. “Can I have a sec, Ry?”

  I ignore the raised eyebrows that Dane gives me before turning and following the boys out the door. Not trusting my voice, I figure that my lack of forward movement is enough of an answer for Colton.

  “It’s good to see you.” His voice is gruff.

  I take a deep breath and close my eyes momentarily, trying to clear the emotion from my face and remove my heart from my sleeve. I slowly turn around, a falsely calm smile on my lips as I remind myself of his words from the other day. The full force of the devastating effect he has on me hits me when I meet his eyes.

  This would’ve never worked. “You too, Ace.”

  He’s sitting on the edge of a table, one foot resting on the seat of the chair in front of him, his hands twirling his sunglasses. My heart twists at the sight of him, knowing I can have some of him but not the whole I need. I walk toward him, our chemistry irrefutable and his pull on me magnetic. I smile shyly at him, trying to keep my emotions under wraps. I stop in front of him, my fingers itching to touch. His eyes watch my hand as I reach out and wipe off an imaginary piece of lint from his shirt. “You look so official!” I laugh anxiously, saying the only thing that comes to my mind.

  He cocks his head and raises an eyebrow at me. “What? You think I’m faking it and this is all for show?” he says dryly, rising from the table. When he unfolds himself and stands to his full height, his body is mere inches from mine. His scent envelops me and I take a step back to prevent myself from reaching out to touch him again. Any measure to try and preserve my dignity.

  “No. That’s not what I meant.” I shake my head flustered, stepping back again to create some space. “Being here just makes it all so real—the track, seeing you in your suit, the grandstands … the enormity of it all.” I shrug. “Thank you so much, Colton.” With these words I look down at my hands where I instinctively go to worry the ring that’s no longer on my finger. Instead, I lace my fingers together and try to hide the emotion swarming in my eyes.

  “For what?”

  “You went over and above. The stuff in the bus for the kids. Having them here today. Everything.” I look back up at him, tears of happiness swimming in my eyes, and say softly, “Zander’s first word.”

  “A breakthrough is so important to healing invisible wounds.” I know he understands these words more than most. He reaches out and wipes the lone tear that spills over. That simple act of compassion leaves me shaken. His eyes meet mine, and I can see the feelings he has for me. I just wish he could see them himself. He slips his sunglasses on his face, shielding my ability to read more, and holds his hand out to me. “Come walk me to the pits?”

  When I just stand there staring at him, confused, he answers for me by grabbing my hand. We walk in silence, both occupied by our thoughts. So many questions I want to ask remain unspoken, for this is not the right time or place for them. I place a hand on my stomach to settle the nerves fluttering there.

  “Why do you seem so nervous when I’m the one that’s going to be hurling myself around the track at two hundred miles an hour?”

  I stop and look at him and am unable to see through his dark lenses, wondering if he really doesn’t get that spending time with him, being with him when I can’t have him, does this to me. Has me walking on e
ggshells and thinking of what ifs. I decide to take the easy way out. “I’m nervous for you. Aren’t you ever afraid that you are going to crash?”

  “Oh, I’ve crashed plenty of times, Ryles.” He lifts his sunglasses so that our eyes meet. “Sometimes you need to crash a couple of times to learn your mistakes, and then when the smoke clears, sometimes you’re better off in the end. Lesson learned in case there is a next time.” He shrugs, squeezing my hand and smiling shyly. “Besides, sometimes the dents just add more character in the long run. Looking pretty can only last so long.” Our eyes hold each other’s, and I know he is talking about more than racing. My eyes beseech his, silently asking the questions I’m afraid to voice, but he slips his glasses back on, pretending he didn’t see them. He tugs on my hand again to start walking.

  I try to think of something to say to add some levity to our walk. “Aren’t you supposed to have a pre-race face on or something indicating you’re in the zone?”

  “Something like that.” He laughs at me. “But it’s not a race today. Besides, I usually get that way once I walk onto pit row. It pisses my sister off to no end.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because I can just tune everything and everyone out instantly,” he says wryly, a small smile on his beautiful lips.

  “Typical male.” I laugh shaking my head. “Thanks for the warning, Ace.”

  “And she says I look mean. I try and tell her it’s just part of my job but she doesn’t buy it.” We walk for a bit more in silence, a smile on my lips. I can hear an engine revving to my left and hear the clatter of a wrench on concrete somewhere to my right. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to come today.” His words surprise me. I think I do a pretty good job of hiding it on my face. “I thought you might send another counselor in your place instead.”

  “No,” I murmur as we stop at the corner of a building, and I look up at him. Doesn’t he realize that even when he pushes me away I am irrefutably drawn to him? That I couldn’t stay away even if I wanted to? “I wanted to see you in your element. Watch the boys experience it.”

  He watches me for a moment, nodding at someone who walks past before returning his eyes to mine. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Me too,” I mouth back to him, fighting the urge to avert my eyes from the intensity of his.

  “This is as far as I go,” he tells me, leaning back against the wall, propping one foot back behind him.

  “Oh.” He runs his thumb over my knuckles on the hand he is holding.

  A slow mischievous smile spreads across his lips. “Don’t I get a good luck kiss, Rylee?” He tugs on my hand and has me falling against him. He splays his free hand against my back, holding me up against him.

  His warnings, his mixed signals, the hurt he’s caused all vanish when my eyes flutter up to see his sensual lips inches from mine. Every muscle beneath my waist clenches in desire. I close my eyes momentarily, wetting my lips with my tongue, before opening them back up to meet the clear green of Colton’s. Why the hell not? It’s not like the term levelheaded has been in my vocabulary the past few weeks when it comes to him anyway. Sensibility slips through my fingers like sand when I am near him.

  “It’s the least I can do,” I murmur as he removes his baseball cap.

  All sense of reason and modesty at our surroundings vanish the minute his lips capture mine. I pour all of the pent up hurt and emotion and need from the past few days into our kiss, and I know that I can taste the same from him. The pressure of his hand on my back urges me on, tempts me to run my hands up his chest, skim fingers on his neckline, and tangle in his hair curling at the back of his neck. Our hearts pound against each other as we each take what we need, regardless of the impasse we find ourselves at.

  Our surroundings slowly seep into my consciousness as I hear someone shout out, “Get a room, Donavan!”

  I feel Colton’s smile against my lips as he breaks the kiss and turns his head to the right and yells laughing, “Fuck off, Tyler! You’re just jealous!”

  I hear a loud chuckle as Colton turns his head back to me, and I run my hands down to frame his face. “Good luck, Ace!”

  We stare at each other a beat before he leans back down and brushes a tender kiss on my lips. A silent goodbye and now I am more confused then ever. “Remind me to bring you to my next race?”

  “What? Why?”

  “Because if that’s how you kiss me good luck when I’m just testing, I can’t wait to see what it’s like when I’m really racing!” He raises his eyebrows, a playful smile turning the corners of his mouth, and he squeezes his hands around my waist. I laugh out loud.

  “Colton?”

  I turn to look into the startled eyes of a stunning woman a few feet to our left. She has a classic beauty that reminds me a lot of Haddie. She has tendrils of blonde hair that cascade around her shoulders, her caramel colored eyes regard me pensively, and her full, painted lips purse as she takes me in. I feel a punch in the stomach. Despite being pressed against Colton, in the split second I have to size her up, I can see true adoration and love in her eyes toward him. Something about her is different though, and the feelings I see in her eyes are much more intense than Tawny’s or Raquel’s.

  Will the endless barrage of women in love with Colton ever end?

  “Impeccable timing as usual,” Colton says through gritted teeth without even looking at her. I look back at him, slightly confused as he kisses the tip of my nose and pulls back. “Rylee, meet my annoying little sister, Quinlan.”

  “Oh!” This makes sense now! I extricate myself from Colton’s arms, the interruption not allowing me to even think about our intimate exchange. I hold out my hand in greeting, my cheeks blushing at the thought of the first impression she must have of me. “Hi. I’m Rylee Thomas.”

  Quinlan looks me up and down and then to my outstretched hand before eyeing Colton, an incredulous expression on her face. She shakes her head at him, a warning look in her eye as she completely disregards my hand. I let it fall as Colton sighs a warning to her. “Quin?” She just looks at him like a mother does when scorning her child. He glares back at her. “Q, quit being rude. I’ll be right there. I’m a little busy right now.”

  She snorts rudely, surveying me again before turning on her heel and stalking off the way she came. “Sorry,” he mutters, “she can be an annoying little punk sometimes, regardless of how old she is.” And with those words, for some reason, I think I get it. She thinks I’m one of Colton’s little disposable playthings. And she acted how I probably would act if it were my brother. Disgusted. Fed up.

  “It’s okay.” I step back from him. “You need to get going.”

  “That I do.” He nods, running his fingers through his hair.

  “Be safe, Colton. I’ll see you at the finish line.”

  “Always,” he says before flashing a quick, roguish smile at me and then turning to walk toward the pits. I watch his sexy swagger as he tugs his baseball hat on his head and adjusts it. He turns back to look at me, the bill of his hat shadowing his eyes and a wayward grin on his lips, dangerous written all over him. If nothing else, he is the definition of sexy. I sigh, shaking my head as I instinctively smile at him. He turns back around, and I watch him until I can’t see him any more.

  How do I even begin to process the last fifteen minutes?

  20

  “Okay, boys, I think that last wing adjustment dialed it in. Great job! I’m going full throttle for the last twenty starting next time I hit the line,” Colton’s disembodied voice comes over the headset as we watch him on the stretch of track behind us.

  “Don’t push too hard, Colt. We’ll need to make a couple more adjustments for next time out. I don’t want you burning up the motor before we can mess with it.”

  “Relax, Becks.” Colton laughs. “I’m not gonna break your baby.” I can hear the engine rev up on the backstretch as Colton heads out of turn two. “Davis? You on?”

  “What do you need, Wood?” Davis’ voice fil
ls my ears. Wood? What’s that all about?

  On the open mic, I can hear the car downshift as he heads into turn three. “Get Zander in the flag stand.” I can hear the vibration of the car in Colton’s voice as he increases his speed. “Let him wave. Then the rest of the boys.”

  “Ten-four.”

  The boys are all listening on their headsets and they turn to look at me with eyes big and grins wide. Davis climbs up the stairs to the little box where we sit above pit row and motions for the boys to follow him. Dane descends and then Jax looks back at me, eyebrows raised in question. “Go ahead, Jax,” I motion for him to go as I remain seated. “I’ll stay here.”

  I watch the boys make their way to pit row, heads turned to the right as Colton comes flying out of turn four toward the start-finish line. The rumble of the engine fills my ears and vibrates through my body, reverberating in my chest as he whips past us. Once gone, Davis leads them across the track and they disappear as they head to the flag stand. Moments later, Davis climbs into the little white boxed in platform with Zander at his side, and they wait for Colton to come back around the track again. I can hear the pitch of the motor heighten as Colton hits the accelerator down the backstretch. Before I know it, he is completing the two-mile circuit and tearing down the front straight away before me. Zander’s hands are on the flag, and Davis cautiously helps his little arms wave it as Colton approaches and quickly zips past. I capture his smile with my camera before he heads back down the stairs for Aiden to have his turn.

  It has been an incredible day. The boys have gotten a once-in-a-lifetime experience, thanks to Colton and his team. I’ve been interviewed by reporters from the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register about the fundraising collaboration of CD Enterprises on behalf of Corporate Cares. A photographer took pictures of us while we were watching the test laps. The boys have been filled with sugary treats as well as great food that Colton’s team brought in for us. We’ve been treated better than I ever could’ve imagined, especially considering this was not a race or official engagement.