Vulnerable in the worst possible way.
Somehow he finds a condom and I watch in breathless fascination as tears open the wrapper. His cock is huge. Enormous. Engorged with blood, the head dripping with come, and I’m almost sad when he covers it with the condom.
It’s a beautiful cock. And I’ve never thought that before.
He fucks me hard. I’ve never been used in such a way, but what’s worse is that it feels good. So good, I’m moaning and thrashing beneath him, asking for more. Begging really. He fucks and fucks, like he’s a machine built for just my pleasure, and when the orgasm rips through me yet again, I can’t speak. All the air locks in my chest, stills in my lungs and when he pulls out of my body to rip the condom off and come all over my chest with a shuddering groan, I can’t believe it.
Perfect Rhett Montgomery just came all over my tits like a porn star.
The sheepish look on his face when it’s all over doesn’t surprise me. “Always wanted to do that,” he admits, leaping up from the bed. “I’ll be right back.”
I watch him go, my gaze lingering on his perfect ass. I’m exhausted. My body is weak, and I should probably get up and wipe the semen off my chest, but it’s like I can’t even move so I just lay there, taking deep breaths to calm my racing heart.
Rhett returns quickly, a damp washcloth in his hand. He bends over me, wiping at my chest gently, until every drop of come is gone. When he’s done, he lifts his head, his gaze meeting mine, and he actually looks embarrassed.
“You probably didn’t like that, huh.” His cheeks turn ruddy and I’m oddly fascinated by this turn of events. There’s more to Rhett than I realized. As in, he’s a dirty son of a bitch—which I find oddly attractive. It means he’s not as perfect as I first thought. “I didn’t even bother asking you if I could.”
I sit up so our faces are close, his breath feathering across my lips. “You didn’t have to ask.” I kiss him, our lips clinging. “I liked it,” I confess against his mouth.
He touches my cheek, his fingers a gentle caress as pulls away so he can stare at me. “I like you,” he says softly.
His words make me feel like my heart just cracked wide open, when I should be doing everything in my power to sew it shut. I can’t let him get to me.
I just…
I can’t.
14
“What the hell is wrong with you? It’s like you’ve never walked in high heels before,” Savannah cracks, a dirty laugh escaping her when she witnesses me twisting my ankle yet again as I make my way toward the bar. Is that the fourth time I’ve twisted it tonight, or the fifth? I can’t keep track.
All I know is that I’m a walking, talking disaster at the club tonight, and I think Don is seriously considering firing me. He’s yelled at me countless times, threatening that he’s going to send me home early, but I just ignore him, trying my best to focus. But it’s like I can’t. I’m wobbly in my heels, I keep messing up drink orders and pissing off customers. Oh, and my entire body aches in the most delicious way.
I guess this is what it feels like to be so thoroughly fucked, you believe you’ll never be the same again.
“I didn’t get much sleep last night,” I finally admit to my friend. We’re both standing at the bar watching Chuck pour drinks for our customers. It’s a Saturday night and the club is full—there’s literally a line to get in outside, and I’ve been running and gunning since I started my shift. I’m grateful Savannah and I are working together, but I don’t appreciate her teasing either, especially since I don’t want to reveal what happened last night.
Her finely arched brows shoot straight up. “Why didn’t you get much sleep last night, huh? Whatcha been up to?”
“Nothing,” I mumble, trying not to meet her gaze for fear she’ll see my truth. I keep my eyes on Chuck, but I can feel my cheeks go pink and I want to smack myself. Savannah will catch on quick. She never misses a beat. And just as I suspected, the knowing look she sends my way within a matter of seconds tells me she’s on to my lies.
I just can’t ever let her figure out all of my lies or I’m done for.
“Uh-huh. Whatever you say, but I can tell. You, my dear, have the look of a woman who’s found herself a man who knows how to satisfy her,” Savannah drawls as she nudges me with her shoulder. I vehemently shake my head as she asks, “Is it true? Did you have S-E-X last night?”
I’m still shaking my head, my cheeks so hot I feel like I’m burning up from the inside out. “Of course not,” I snap.
Savannah laughs. “Liar. You’re all shaky and glassy-eyed. Hmm.” She leans in, her face so close to mine I can smell the minty gum she’s chewing. “Or maybe you found some high-quality coke and forgot to share.”
“Savannah!” Drugs scare me, just like liquor scares me. I’m terrified I’ll lose control and do something stupid.
Huh. Though now I’ve discovered that sex with Rhett makes me lose control too. I would’ve done anything he asked last night.
Anal sex? Yes, please.
Introduce a few other people into the mix? Sure, why not?
Put clamps on your nipples and tie you to the bed? Of course! Let’s do it.
Yeah. That’s not good. I’ve never been into those sorts of things at all. So why would I think it’s something Rhett and I could do?
Clearly, it’s because he’s fucking with my mind and making me have out-of-control thoughts.
“I’m kidding.” She pats me on the shoulder. “Though the occasional coke hit will give you the biggest feeling of euphoria. Mmm.” Savannah shakes her head, a dreamy expression on her face. “Fucking on coke is like an out-of-body experience.”
“I think I had enough out-of-body experiences last night, and I wasn’t even on coke,” I tell her, making her laugh harder.
“Wow. This guy must be something then. Did you meet him here? Did he take one look at your fabulous ta-tas and throw himself at your feet?”
“Hell no.” I wrinkle my nose. “You know we can’t fraternize with guests.”
“Like anyone sticks to that rule.” Savannah tilts her head to the side, her long, dark ponytail sliding over her shoulder. “Does he know you work here?”
Dread consumes me, making me clutch the edge of the bar so tightly my fingers ache. “No. He can never know I work here.”
“You want to keep him in your life?” she asks, but I don’t answer. “If you do, then you better be honest. If he finds out you work here by surprise, walking around with no top on all night while men leer at your chest, then he’s gonna shit a ton of bricks.”
“Trust me, I know,” I say with a slight shake of my head. I don’t want to talk about this right now, with Savannah, in the middle of the club with the music blaring so loud I can hardly hear myself think. Rhett isn’t a part of my life here at City Lights. I compartmentalize everything. When I’m with Rhett, I focus on him and nothing else. When I’m at work, I usually don’t think of Rhett at all.
But tonight, my mind is consumed with thoughts of him. Every guy in this place with hair the same color as his has me looking twice, my heart leaping to my throat. What happened between us last night is running on a continuous loop in my brain.
How he looked at me, those dark brown eyes glowing with need. The way he kissed me, his tongue doing a thorough search of my mouth, his hands all over my body, those delicious lips of his feasting on my pussy like he wanted to taste every inch of me. Every single orgasm he wrung out of my body…
It was mind-blowing. And that’s the last thing I need.
He’s taking up way too much of my brain space. I don’t know what I’d do if he showed up here.
“When do you see him again?” Savannah asks just as Chuck adds fresh drinks to her tray.
“I don’t know,” I answer with a little shrug. He left my house in the middle of the night, around three in the morning. I woke up to him pressing a kiss to my cheek and telling me he’d text me later.
I haven’t heard from him since.
&
nbsp; “Maybe it’s just a one-time thing?” She grabs the tray, her gaze meeting mine. “Sometimes those are the best, you know? One delicious night with a hot man who makes your toes curl, only to never see him again. Your expectations can never be let down, you know?”
I watch Savannah walk away, her skirt swishing, her head held high as she commands the attention of every man she passes. I admire her confidence, wish even the tiniest bit could rub off on me.
I can work the room topless, but I don’t work it near as well as my friend does.
“Here you go.” Chuck’s gruff voice makes me turn around, and I take the tray from him and head out into the crowd. I try to adopt some of Savannah’s swagger as I deliver drinks to my customers, ignoring how they stare at me, adopting that I don’t give a shit mask I’ve become decent at wearing.
The entire night is like this. I finally find a rhythm and there’s no more screwing up drink orders or nearly falling on my face. Don isn’t yelling at me anymore, and at one point I do a little twirl for my guests at one of the corner tables that has the best view of the stage. Four men in their late forties to early fifties, all dressed well, their eyes lit with interest as I spin around when one of them asks, my skirt flaring out so far, I almost flash them my ass.
I don’t know what possesses me to do it, but I do, and when I go backstage to take my break about an hour later, Don approaches me with an appreciative gleam in his eye. “You turned it around tonight, doll.”
I try not to roll my eyes. I really don’t like it when he calls me that. “Thanks. I started off bad, but I think I’m okay now.”
“You’re more than okay.” He glances over his shoulder, like he’s making sure no one’s paying attention to us, before he returns his gaze to mine. “I have a proposition for you.”
My stomach bottoms out. Don has only mentioned a proposition to me twice before. Once, a guest requested to, and I quote, titty-fuck me. Another time, a couple wanted me to watch them have sex in the storage room. Both requests would’ve earned me extra money, but I was uncomfortable, so I turned them down.
“What is it?” I ask, my voice, my head, my entire body weary. My money situation isn’t the best. Tuition is due soon, and I can’t apply for financial aid since my grades were so bad that first semester I was at the community college in my hometown. The semester when my dad died. I didn’t bother going back to my classes and I failed all of them.
I’m on my own. I can’t even qualify for a student loan because of that one semester. Yet another regret in the long list of them that makes up my life.
“There’s a gentleman you’ve been serving all evening. He’s very interested in you.” Don blatantly stares at my boobs. “He wants to get to know you better. Says you’re giving off a very friendly, sexy vibe.”
Ick. “I don’t kn—”
Don holds up his hand, silencing me. “Hear me out. This guy, he’s fucking loaded, Jen. He flashed me a fat stack of hundreds and said he had ten thousand cash for us if you’d spend a little alone time with him.”
I blink at my boss, trying to comprehend what he just said. “What do you mean, ten thousand cash for us?”
“He just wants to spend time with you. Said it would take no longer than an hour.” Don hesitates, his gaze skittering away from mine. “I’ll split the money with you fifty-fifty.”
What an insult.
“No way.” I start to walk out, but Don grabs me by the arm, stopping me.
“Fine, you get six, I get four,” he offers. So generous. Doesn’t he realize I’m the one who has to “spend time” with this guy? I don’t even know what he wants from me.
But I can take a guess.
“I get eight, you get two, and we’ve got a deal.” I can’t believe I said that. My greed just completely took over me, but this is the perfect opportunity for me to earn some major cash. I always tell Savannah I would never do something like this, but…
How can I let this opportunity get away from me?
Don grins, a chuckle escaping him. Like my negotiating skills are so hilarious. “I can’t give you that much, Jen. Come on.”
“I’m the one who’s going to have to grind on this guy’s dick or whatever,” I mutter, wrenching my arm out of his grip. I can’t think beyond dick-grinding right now. I know it could be much worse, but I don’t want to imagine it. “I should make the majority of the money for what I have to do. You’re doing nothing.”
“I’m the one who’s brokering the deal and letting you off early from your shift, so I deserve something too.” Don licks his lips, reminding me of a slimy lizard. “Six and four. That’s my final offer.”
“What exactly does this guy want from me?”
“I don’t know. He didn’t say. Only mentioned that you looked real good and he wants to get to know you. I bet if you treat him real nice, touch him, kiss him, maybe jerk him off, he’ll be happy. Just say yes. Come on.” Don sends me a pleading look.
I shouldn’t do it. It’s stupid. Dangerous. But I’m living paycheck to paycheck, even with the great tips I make here. My shitty house isn’t cheap, and school takes up a lot of my money, besides all the other bills I have. Utilities. My phone. Plus, a girl’s gotta eat. Once I get in good with the Montgomerys, I know I’ll walk away with a huge payoff, but until then I’m fighting for every dollar I get.
“Seven and three or I’m out.” I cross my arms in front of my chest, plumping up my boobs on purpose. Don’s eyes drop to them and I let him blatantly stare, trying not to feel too creeped out. He’s laser-focused on my erect nipples, which is just weird, but I tell myself I’m doing this for seven grand.
Seven. Fucking. Grand.
“Fine.” He sighs, as if I just put him out. “Seven and three it is.”
Relief floods me. I may be acting like a whore, but at least I’ll be seven thousand dollars richer by the end of the evening.
Ignoring the shame that threatens, I drop my arms to my sides and shake my hair back. “Tell your guest I’ll do it.”
Don grins and rubs his hands together. “Stay right here. Got a little bit of arrangin’ to do.”
I watch him walk away, then tell myself that no matter what, I can’t run.
Even though I really want to.
15
Three years ago
* * *
“Are you serious? What the hell are we going to do now?” Dad follows me as I walk through the trailer toward my bedroom. “How could you lose that job?”
I whirl on him, furious. Like it’s always my fault when I bring home bad news. It’s so frustrating. I feel for him, I do, but he needs to stop blaming me for everything that happens to us. “My boss tried to cop a feel, Dad. When he grabbed my ass, I told him no and slapped his hand away. He fired me.”
My father stares at me, his expression horrified. “What are you talking about, he tried to cop a feel? Jim is my friend! He would never do that!”
“Well, he’s your friend who tried to feel me up.” I rest my hands on my hips, glaring at him. He looks terrible, pale and weak. His hair is thin and his eyes are bloodshot. He doesn’t eat much anymore, and it shows. I bet a strong gust of wind would knock him right over.
Closing my eyes briefly, I take a deep breath, reminding myself that he’s not well. He’s sick, but I’m so frustrated over what happened, it’s hard to focus on being careful when all I wanna do is blow up at him. “When was the last time you went outside?”
“It doesn’t matter.” He waves a hand. “You need to find another job, Jenny. You know we can’t go too long without your income.”
The problem is, I can’t find fulltime work around here, and that’s what I need in order to afford the rent at this stupid trailer park. No one wants to hire an under-experienced eighteen-year-old, but I can’t get any experience if no one is going to hire me.
It’s such bullshit.
God knows my father isn’t able to hold down a job, and he’s still fighting to get on permanent disability. His depression mak
es it hard for him to get out of bed. He’s lost most of his jobs just because he didn’t show up.
It’s unbelievable, how my mother still controls him to this day. It’s also pitiful.
And sad.
“I’ll go look for a job tomorrow.” I throw the covers back and climb into bed, desperate to curl up into a ball and forget about all my troubles. I’m so tired, and still weirded out by my boss Jim grabbing my butt. He acted like it was no big deal, like I shouldn’t have a problem with him touching my ass, but come on. This guy is old enough to be my father. It’s creepy.
He’s creepy.
I don’t regret slapping his hand away. I don’t regret telling him no either. I do sort of regret losing the job, because it’s never fun to go out and find a new one, but if I let that guy get away with it, what would he try next?
No way did I want to find out.
“You need to get back out there right now.” Dad grabs my covers and yanks them away from my body. “Get up and go find another job. We can’t afford to lose any more money.”
“What did you do with the money I gave you last week?” That check had been almost six hundred dollars, a pretty substantial sum for us.
“It’s gone.” He snaps his fingers, as if the cash disappeared into thin air. “We need more.”
I sit up, smoothing my hair away from my face. “It’s all gone? Like, you spent every last dollar?”
“Yep.” My father nods, and there’s something in the way he’s not looking at me that makes me suspicious.
“What did you do with it all?” I leap from the bed so I can stand in front of him, noticing how he won’t look me in the eye. He’s hiding something. But what? “Dad. What happened to all the money?” I know he didn’t spend it on rent. That’s not due for another ten days.
“I let Norah borrow it,” he admits, his head still bent.
“What?” He jerks his head up at my roar and I throw my hands up into the air. “You barely know that woman!”
“I know she’s good for it! She said she’ll pay me back. She’s just a little short, is all!”
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