In the end, maybe it didn’t matter if he loved her. He could not imagine giving up the entirety of his life to be all she would need. To be choked by the responsibility of being a husband and father…fuck no.
Aidan started to back away, but a twig snapped beneath his feet, causing Emma to turn her head.
“Hey,” she called.
Beau raced past him and down the dock. He splashed into the water, sending a small wave crashing over Emma. “Beau, you stinker!” she shouted.
Aidan forced himself forward and Emma smiled at him as he approached. “Sorry I left you in the swing. I wanted to come down here before we had to leave, and you were sleeping so peacefully I didn’t want to wake you—especially since I dragged you out of bed last night.”
“It’s okay.” He glanced down at his watch. “We probably need to be heading back.”
Emma nodded and swung her legs out of the water. After she pulled herself to her feet, she gasped.
“What’s wrong?” She stood frozen, her hand pressed against her stomach. Aidan took a step forward. “Em?”
She grabbed his hand and placed it where hers had just been. “Feel that?”
Aidan almost jerked away at the slight vibrations beneath his fingertips. His heart shuddered to a stop before restarting. The baby—his baby—was moving. “Yes,” he croaked.
Emma beamed up at him. “It’s amazing, isn’t it?” He was too overwhelmed to speak, so he bobbed his head. “I’ve never felt it move before. I’m so glad you were here with me when it happened.”
“Me too.”
When the movement stopped, Emma wrapped her arms around Aidan’s neck. “I can never thank you enough for giving me this wonderful gift of life. You’ve made me the happiest woman in the world, and I love you for it.” He widened his eyes at her words while she leaned in and kissed him. “I love you, Aidan,” she murmured against his lips.
Part of him wanted to be honest with her—and himself—and openly admit that he loved her, but the hardened part of him refused to let go and give her those three simple words. He pulled away from her kiss. “Em, I…”
Although hurt radiated in her eyes, Emma gave him a shy smile. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say it back. I just wanted to tell you how I felt.” She took his hand in hers. “Come on, we better get going.” He let her tug him along the dock and back up the hillside.
31
The shrill beeping of the alarm jolted Emma awake. Knowing what a deep sleeper Aidan was, she rolled over, shaking him gently. “Babe, the alarm.”
He grunted before smacking his hand on the clock repeatedly until it finally went off.
When Aidan fell back over in bed, Emma fought the urge to run her hands down his bare chest. He was always so handsome in the mornings—his face so rugged, his sandy hair disheveled. Instead, she snuggled against his side. When she draped her leg over his thigh, he stiffened. “You can have the shower first,” he mumbled.
“You could always join me,” she suggested.
“No, go ahead,” he said, pulling away from her. “I wanna sleep in a little longer.”
Stung by his words and actions, Emma jerked back. Salty tears streaked down her cheeks as she made her way into the bathroom. He had been so different, so distant since they had come back from the mountains. He had been working later and later hours the last week at the office. By the time he got home at night, she was already in bed or asleep. He hadn’t touched her intimately since they had made love on the pond’s shore at her grandparents’.
Leaning against the shower wall, fear crippled her. Had committing the carnal mistake of telling Aidan she loved him driven him away? What happened now? Did she just pretend she had never uttered it and hope things would return to normal, or did she push things even further by demanding to know what his intentions were?
After spending the entirety of her shower crying, Emma tried to pull herself together to get ready for work. Throwing on her robe, she stepped out of the bathroom and saw that Aidan still hadn’t stirred from the bed. Maybe she was making something out of nothing, and he was truly just tired.
She eased down on the mattress and rubbed his bare back. “Wake up, sleepyhead, or you’ll be late for work.”
He grunted as he rolled over to face her. “Fucking job from hell.”
“You haven’t forgotten what today is, have you?”
“No, it’s the baby’s gender sonogram.”
Emma smiled that he remembered. “It’s at four. You’ll still be able to make it, right?”
He fisted the sleep out of his eyes. “Sure. I had Marilyn cancel all my afternoon appointments.”
Leaning over, Emma gave him a quick kiss. “I’m glad to hear that.” A contented sigh escaped her lips. “I can’t wait to see if your dad and Grammy are right about it being a boy.”
“Yeah, that’ll be something,” he said, his voice devoid of emotion. From his tone, she might as well have been discussing if it was going to rain outside, not what the gender of his firstborn child would be. Instinctively, her hand went to her abdomen, as if to protect the baby from Aidan’s callous attitude. When he swept his gaze to hers, she ducked her head so he couldn’t read the hurt in her eyes.
“So I’ll see you this afternoon,” he said, flinging the sheet back.
Unable to speak for fear of sobbing, she merely nodded.
Without another word to her or a goodbye kiss, he hopped out of bed and stalked into the bathroom.
When Aidan glanced at himself in the bathroom mirror, he shook his head in disgust. “Yeah, that’s right, drive the stake into her heart even deeper, you fucking asshole,” he muttered under his breath.
Defeated, he turned on the shower. Standing under the scorching water, he let it pound and singe his skin. He rolled his shoulders from the burden that hung heavy around him, the one he had felt cloaked and suffocated by since the day on the dock. Damn that day—the one that had completely fucked up his life. At times, his lips burned from Emma’s declaration of love against his mouth after their kiss. Even his fingers tingled, and he could almost feel the baby’s movement under them.
Love like he had never known had entered him that day, and instead of embracing it, he kept railing against it.
Closing his eyes, all he could see was Emma’s rejected form in the bedroom, the silent sobs she tried to hide from him. Would it really have killed him to show her a little more attention and kindness on today of all days? He groaned and banged his head against the shower wall. No, he’d gone full-on bastard by refusing her advances and acting like a total douchebag about the ultrasound.
Damn, he was exhausted. The constant traveling and the late hours were wrecking him physically, then everything with Emma was tearing him apart emotionally. He couldn’t sleep without taking something, and he usually had to chase that with alcohol to even get it to work. The more he was in Emma’s presence, the more he felt like he was drowning. Like a true coward, he tried avoiding her as much as possible. Some nights he debated sleeping on the couch in his office.
He didn’t know what he was going to do, but something had to give.
32
33
For the rest of the day, Emma felt overcome with giddiness; she refused to let Aidan’s morning attitude ruin her excitement. Casey lifted her spirits by taking her out for a pre-celebratory lunch. Then at a little after four, she pushed through the doors of her OB/GYN’s office and tried to fight her out-of-control nerves.
When she started to sign in, the receptionist gave her an apologetic smile. “It’s probably going to be a while. Our technician got held up at the Sandy Springs office.”
Emma’s heart momentarily sank. “You’re kidding. You mean I’m going to have to wait even longer? I’m already about to bust!”
“I can only imagine! She’s trying to get over here as fast as she can.”
Emma grinned. “I understand. I’m just glad I can find out now. I don’t know how women waited nine months in the past.”
“Thanks.” Emma then plopped down in one of the comfy chairs and took her iPad out of her purse, figuring she might as well read until Aidan or the technician showed up. She got so lost in her romance novel she barely realized her phone was ringing. Grabbing for it, she saw it was Aidan calling. “Hey, where are you?”
When he spoke, his voice was hushed, and she knew he must’ve been in a meeting or right outside of one. “The fucking CEO showed up out of nowhere two hours ago wanting to go over all the reports we’ve been working on. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to make it.”
“It’s okay. The sonogram technician is running late from one of their other offices. Just try to come whenever you can, okay?”
“Okay. I’ll try.”
“Love you,” she said.
The only response she got was the click of the line going dead. At first, she tried reasoning with herself that he had to go because of his job, but arguing with herself didn’t help. She fought the overwhelming urge to burst out in tears. Not only was she facing the sonogram alone, but Aidan hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye and still refused to say he loved her back.
Digging a tissue out of her purse to dab her moist eyes, she glanced up at the commotion coming in the doctor’s office door. “At least let me go in first and see if it’s okay,” a familiar voice said.
A man snorted in response. “Screw that. Big Papa can just kiss my ass if he doesn’t want me here.”
Emma’s heart surged at the sound of Casey and Connor bickering. At the sight of her, they shut up. “Hey, what are you two doing here?”
Connor gazed around the practically empty waiting room. “I think the better question is where’s Big Papa?”
Emma rolled her eyes. “Would you stop calling him that? And he got stuck in a meeting.”
“Oh,” Casey murmured.
They were interrupted by a nurse poking her head into the waiting room. “Ms. Harrison? We’re ready for you now.”
“Oh, okay, thanks,” Emma replied, popping out of her seat. She had hoped for a longer delay to give Aidan more time, but it didn’t look like she was in luck.
Out of the corner of her eye, Emma saw Casey throw a hesitant glance at Connor before she stepped forward. “Want us to come back with you?”
Emma nodded. “I’d love that.”
Casey beamed while Connor cleared his throat. “We’ll just stay until Big Papa—erm, I mean, Aidan gets here. Then we’ll let you guys have your moment.”
His sincerity and thoughtfulness touched Emma, and she reached out and ruffled his hair—a sign of her affection since their teenage days. She smiled. “Thanks.”
The nurse held the door open for them. When they stopped in front of a set of scales, Emma groaned. “Do we really have to do this part?”
The nurse laughed. “Sorry honey. We need to know how much weight you’re gaining and how you’re measuring.”
“Fabulous,” Emma replied, stepping on the scales.
Casey and Connor peered over her shoulder to see the number. “Do you guys mind!” Emma exclaimed.
“You’ve only gained fifteen pounds. That’s very good,” the nurse said, marking it in Emma’s chart.
“Guess you and Big Papa have really been burning the calories when he’s in town, huh?” Connor joked. While he and Casey dissolved in giggles, Emma shot them a murderous glance.
They followed the nurse into the ultrasound room, which was dimly lit. Emma recognized the technician, Janine, from her previous ultrasounds.
“Big day, huh?” Janine asked.
“Yes, a really big one.”
Janine’s gaze homed in on Connor. “This must be the proud father, huh?”
Connor widened his eyes and held up his hands. “No, no, just a friend.”
“The father is caught in a business meeting. I hope he can make it before we’re done,” Emma explained.
“No problem. I’ll be sure to make you photocopies and a DVD of the ultrasound just in case he doesn’t.”
“Thanks, Janine.”
She patted the examining table. “You know the drill by now.”
Emma nodded. After climbing up, she laid back and got comfortable. When she started to unbutton her pants, a strangled cry came from Connor’s throat. “Wait, you’re not going to be naked are you?”
At his apprehension, both Emma and Casey snickered. “No, silly. You’re just lucky this is an abdominal one and not a transvaginal,” Emma replied.
Connor’s brow creased. “What’s the difference?”
Janine swiveled in her chair and picked up the transvaginal wand. She waved it at Connor, and he paled when he realized what all it entailed. “Oh shit.”
Casey thumped him on the back. “See, nothing to worry about. You’re not going to be scarred by having to see Em’s vagina.”
“Ha fucking ha,” he grumbled. When he eased down into his chair, he pushed it as far against the wall as possible so there wouldn’t even be the possibility of seeing anything.
Janine squirted the jelly-like substance onto Emma’s belly and the coolness caused her to shiver. “Sorry about that. I would have had it warmed for you, but I didn’t have time,” Janine apologized.
Emma smiled. “It’s okay.”
Janine then began running the wand over Emma’s abdomen. Craning her neck, Emma stared at the grainy image forming on the screen. She sucked in an apprehensive breath until the sound of her baby’s heartbeat filled the room.
“For you first timers, there’s the heartbeat,” Janine said to Connor and Casey before pointing on the screen at the tiny billowing in and out of the heart.
“Oh wow,” Casey said.
Janine smiled down at Emma. “It looks and sounds very strong, too.”
“That’s good to hear.”
Pressing the wand harder on Emma’s stomach, Janine peered at the screen. “Well, you’re in luck. Your baby is giving us a pretty good shot between the legs.”
“Really?”
Janine nodded. “Sometimes they’re lying at angles which block the gender, or they’ll just be stubborn and turn where we can’t see, but yours must want us to know without a shadow of a doubt.”
Emma’s chest tightened. Her mouth ran dry and she licked her lips. Glancing over her shoulder, she eyed Casey and Connor. They both leaned forward so far in their chairs that Emma feared they would fall on the floor.
“So what it is?” Emma croaked.
Janine smiled. “It’s a strong, healthy…boy.”
A sob erupted from Emma’s throat as happy tears stung her eyes. Patrick and Grammy had been right. It was a boy. She was going to give Aidan a son to carry on his family name. She closed her eyes and gave a silent prayer of thanks to God that her son was strong and healthy.
When she opened her eyes, Connor and Casey were at her side. Both leaned over to hug her. “Congratulations, Mama!” Casey said, kissing Em’s cheek.
“A boy, huh? Hope he’s as handsome and smart as his Gunkle Connor.”
“Gunkle?” Emma questioned.
“You know, gay uncle.”
Casey snickered. “I’m not sure how Big Papa Fitzgerald is going to feel about that one.”
Emma laughed. “I think he’ll be okay with it. I mean, who doesn’t appreciate people who love their child?”
“Hell yeah I’m going to love him! He’s part of you, so that makes him all the more loveable,” Conner said, with a wink.
Janine handed Emma a DVD along with several printouts of the ultrasound. “Congratulations again.”
“Thanks,” Emma murmured, her gaze focused on the grainy images in her hand.
“So when are you going to tell Big Papa?” Casey asked.
“Oh, um, I guess when he gets in tonight. I don’t want to tell him over the phone or by text or something.”
“You should go surprise him at work,” Conn
or suggested.
Emma ran her fingers over the ultrasound picture. At any moment, she expected it to evaporate and for it all to have been just a dream. After Casey cleared her throat, Emma bobbed her head. “That sounds like a good idea. From the way he sounded, it could be pretty late.”
Casey pulled Emma into her embrace and then kissed her cheek. “I’m so proud and happy for you.”
Emma grinned. “Thank you.” She squeezed Casey tight. “Most of all, thank you for being my rock through all of this, especially today.” She smiled at Connor. “And you, too.”
“We wouldn’t have it any other way,” Casey replied as Connor nodded. She kissed Emma’s cheek. “Now go on and tell Big Papa the happy news.”
“I sure will.”
33
“I want to thank you all for staying late. I’m thrilled at how everything has panned out, and I look forward to a successful merger.”
As soon as the CEO exited the boardroom, Aidan dug his phone out of his jacket pocket. Glancing down at the time, he grimaced. There was no way in hell he could get across town to Emma’s appointment. Shame echoed through him when he felt relieved at missing the ultrasound. Confirming the baby’s sex made its impending arrival all the more real. Loosening his tie, he fought the choking feeling that continued to plague him. His hand tingled again, and he was right back on the dock feeling the baby move with Emma.
He was rubbing his fingers under his collar when someone cleared her throat. He glanced up to find the boardroom empty except for a stacked brunette who was new to his department.
“I don’t think we’ve been formerly introduced,” the brunette said with an inviting smile. “I’m Heather Donnovan.”
Love in the Dark Page 110
