“That career isn’t going to pay your bills.”
You do, Sterling mouths, chuckling at his own joke.
“Weston, you should talk some sense into this kid,” Dad puts on his jacket. “Are you two driving with me?”
“No, Dad. We’re going in my car. Abby’s taking her driver’s test right after the ceremony,” I remind him.
Abbs and I are celebrating today before the big party. I promised to take her to lunch and then for her driver’s license test. We have a lot to celebrate. She was accepted into Berkeley, and though she hasn’t declared her major, she’s excited about college.
“What about the party?” Dad says gruffly.
“It’s not until six.” I check the time. “We have to leave now, or we won’t make it to the ceremony.”
“Do you want to drive my car?” Dad shows Sterling the key of his Bentley.
“Nah, I’m riding with Wes to get some time in before he ditches me for Abby after the ceremony.”
I give him an inquisitive look but say nothing. Once we’re in the car, I ask, “Why are you avoiding Dad?”
“I just …” he trails off, unable to say a thing. “This isn’t where I want to be.”
“You could’ve stayed in New York,” I mumble.
“Dad’s disappointment is enough. I wouldn’t want to add Mom’s,” he growls. “And even if I had stayed away, he’d call to remind me that if I wanted, he could get me into the business program at DU. Dad can’t accept me, my career, or the fact that I’m not going to take over his little empire along with you.”
He groans, shaking his head.
This ongoing argument creates friction between Sterling and me too. Dad hopes that his art is just a hobby and that he’ll grow out of it, the same way I grew out of my programming obsession.
He doesn’t know that I continue working on the side. I love to create apps, develop new software, and fidget with all kinds of gadgets. The fact that I’m focused on his business doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten what I want to do in the future. I’m not planning on taking over his company either; I just haven’t told him yet.
“You should quit,” Sterling suggests. His voice chirps through the car. “If you don’t do it now, you’ll be sharing his fate.”
I shake my head. He better not start giving me shit about my life and my future. What do I expect? That’s what this family does best, meddling and pointing out one another’s faults or the fact that we’re not reaching our full potential. He’s not Dad, but he sounds a lot like him. Sterling never misses a chance to tell me that I’m fucking up my life by doing what Dad wants.
I’m biding my time, learning the business world while doing what I love on the side. One day I’ll have enough experience to set up my own company.
Once I start the engine his mouth quirks up into a half-smile. “You’ll become Dad.”
Fucker.
I turn on the music and decide to ignore him. In less than five minutes, we’ll arrive at the school.
“There’s nothing wrong with our father,” I say when I park and turn off the engine.
“You refuse to see the real guy behind that suit. He’s cold. A modern Ebenezer Scrooge,” he continues. “The man works during holidays too.”
I leave the car before we begin to argue. Our parents are giving. For years, they took in children who needed shelter. They provided them with love and a roof without questions. How can he refer to our father as a cold-hearted cheapskate?
Slugger is becoming someone I don’t like. An overprivileged playboy who judges everyone around him. I worry about him and his future. When he turns twenty-five, he’s going to be living on his trust fund. Hopefully, Dad set it up so that Sterling can only withdraw a certain amount per year, and it lasts him a lifetime.
“It’s okay, Wes.” Sterling pats my shoulder. “At least one of us respects the man.”
He walks away. Anger churns in my chest. Sometimes I don’t understand him, and the problem isn’t that I don’t try, but that he doesn’t want to face reality. He lives in a world where Sterling is always right, and if we don’t agree with him, then we’re wrong.
— — —
The ceremony doesn’t last long, but it feels eternal. The principal’s speech is beyond annoying. However, it wasn’t as bad as the valedictorian’s address where the kid suggested they all let themselves fall into the abyss. Someone should’ve edited the piece before the poor kid suggested that they’re leaving the best years of their lives behind and what’s to come will never compare.
“That was interesting,” Mom says as we walk out of the auditorium. “I liked your speech better, Wes.”
“I forgot that you were the valedictorian,” Sterling says in a mocking voice.
“Aren’t you tired of being so perfect?” He mumbles under his breath.
I try to please my parents, but I’m far from perfect. When I graduated, I gave the valedictorian speech because the night before the ceremony, Merritt was arrested for possession. His daddy couldn’t bail him out of jail in time for graduation. As captain of the debate and speech team, I was the only one prepared to speak on such short notice.
“Aren’t you tired of being a pain in the ass, fucker?” I reply exasperated.
I don’t wait for his comeback, as my eyes are drawn back to Abby who marches toward us. She’s still wearing the red cap and gown and a bright smile. Taking a few steps forward, I hug her tightly and spin her, lifting her off the ground.
“You did it,” I say excitedly.
“We did it,” she responds with a quiet voice. “If it wasn’t for you, I’d be going to summer school, or worse—repeating the entire year.”
“Pfft, you just needed a little push.”
Suddenly, she goes rigid in my arms.
“They’re here?” she gasps.
Her eyes widen, and I put her down when she struggles in my arms.
I look around, searching for whoever scared her, but everything seems normal.
“What’s going on, Abby girl?”
All color washes away from her face, and she’s grasping my arms tightly, as if her life depended on it.
“I’m here. You don’t need to worry about anything,” I say softly.
“Sorry, I thought I saw my stepfather and his son,” she whispers, her head leaning against my chest. “Please, don’t mind me. Sometimes I imagine things.”
“Hey, I get it,” I say soothingly.
I rub her back counting along with her. The anxiety hasn’t gone away. She still has nightmares at night. The trauma she endured before coming to us continues to drag her into the darkness. I hate that she hurts and how she still closes herself off from everyone when the memories of what happened almost a year ago take hold of her mind.
“Stay with me, Abby. Today is an important day. You graduated, and you’re going to get your driver’s license.”
“Linda mentioned a trip,” she says grinning, pretending that the episode has passed.
It hasn’t. Her chest continues to rise and fall rapidly along with her breath.
“Are you coming along?” she tilts her head, her eyes hopeful.
“I wish I could, Abbs.”
Her shoulders slump.
“But I know that Dad and I will join you at some point,” I say reassuringly.
Mom treats Abby as if she were her daughter and never misses a chance to have some mother-daughter time with her. This summer, she plans on taking Abby on a trip around Europe before she leaves for college. She didn’t invite us to come along, but after Dad protested that she’ll be gone for too long, she invited us to join them for a couple of weeks.
“I’ll miss you,” she says chewing on her lip.
“Hey, I promise to call every day.”
“Picture time,” Mom calls out waving her new camera. She’s ready for her trip and if we’re lucky, she’ll take up photography once August rolls around. Mom does best when her mind is occupied.
“Abby, I need a few of yo
u around campus and a couple with the boys.”
“How do I look, boy?” Abby smirks at me and adjusts her long brown curls, bringing the purple tips to the front.
“Purple,” I flick her nose. “Go, pose for the camera. You look gorgeous as usual.”
As she walks away, everything hits me all at once. I realize that the day after tomorrow she’s leaving. That I’m going to fucking miss her a lot. She went from being just another one of my parent’s foster children to becoming one of my closest friends. Sadly, the academic demands at Berkeley might take us from best friends to mere acquaintances once she starts classes.
3
Wes
Abby Age Nineteen
“What do you mean, you’re spending the whole summer abroad?” I grasp the phone tightly, glaring at Abby who is on the other side FaceTiming me. “You said it was only a few weeks in the Dominican Republic.”
“Well, that’s for the volunteer program,” she says. “Afterwards, I’m going to Exeter.”
Her eyes brighten, and I swear, she’s glowing. Since she left Denver, she’s changed a lot. It’s as if everything bad that happened to her stayed on this side of the Rocky Mountains.
“Where the fuck is Exeter?”
“It’s in the middle of Oxford, England.” The screen goes dark, and the only thing I can see is the word pause.
She fucking paused me.
“There, I sent you a picture of the place,” she says as my phone buzzes.
“Linda approved of my choice. She said that the place is exquisite. Isn’t it beautiful?”
“Mom agreed?” I arch a brow as I think of ways to convince her to come back home.
We were supposed to spend the summer together. I miss her. I’ve seen her five times since she graduated high school. The first one was when I joined her and Mom in Spain, and we spent two weeks traveling through Barcelona, Madrid, Seville, Valencia, and Granada. Afterwards, we stopped in Portugal before we came back to Denver, and I helped her drive her car to Berkeley. The second was during fall break. I had to fly to California because the coffee shop where she was working wouldn’t give her the week off.
On Thanksgiving weekend, Mom decided to indulge my brother, and we all flew to New York where we had dinner together at Sterling’s. For Christmas, we traveled to Aruba, and for spring break, I met Abby in San Diego where she interned for a week at the zoo. It’s a quick program that helped her realize that as much as she loved animals, she didn’t want to work with them.
“Of course, she’s so excited.” Abby’s voice squeaks slightly with excitement. “Exeter is a school full of history. Do you know that Tolkien was an undergraduate there?”
“How could I miss that important piece of information, Abbs?”
“Mr. Sarcasm just showed up. What’s going on, Wes?” She twists her mouth. “You seem a little upset. Is it the new girl?”
She narrows her gaze and rolls her eyes. “Please, don’t tell me you broke up with Marissa.”
“I told you it wasn’t serious.”
“It’s never serious, Wes. One of these days you’re going to meet the woman of your dreams, and you’ll let her go because work is more important.”
“I’m only twenty-five,” I protest.
“Something tells me that in a couple of years, we’ll have this same conversation.”
“How about you?”
She shakes her head. “Boys are idiots,” she claims.
“What happened with the last one?”
“It didn’t work out,” she says with disdain.
I sigh with relief. The thought of Abby dating doesn’t settle well. She’s too far away, and if someone hurts her I couldn’t be there to comfort her.
“Yeah, he expected to hit a home run without buying me dinner.”
“Are we using baseball analogies now?”
“Why not?” She shrugs one shoulder.
As I browse the website for Exeter College, I ask about her plans. “What are you going to study in England?”
“I’m taking just a couple of credits. Literatures of Modernity and Mathematics for Physical Sciences and Engineering.”
“When are you coming back to Denver?”
“Thanksgiving … Christmas or maybe next summer,” she says, with a voice void of emotion.
We spend the next hour talking about the places she could visit during the weekends while in England. I begin to check my schedule and email Sterling about this new development. He’s fond of Abby, and maybe he could visit her too. As much as I trust Abby, I don’t want her to spend the summer alone in another country.
4
Wes
Abby Age Twenty
Today I left work early. Dad’s on his way to Costa Rica, and I have plenty of time to build a new computer. All the parts arrived this week. Of course, my plans were interrupted by a text from little Abby asking if I had time to FaceTime with her. I couldn’t waste the opportunity to see her, and the conversation was going great until her news …
“So, you speak Spanish now?” That’s all I can manage to say while searching for the right words to change her mind.
“I can say more than cerveza porfavor,” Abby says with a smile.
She moves closer to the telephone and whispers. “That’s beer in case you didn’t know.”
“Do you remember who your translator was while we visited Spain?” I arch an eyebrow.
“Whatever,” she says, letting out a loud breath and rolling her eyes.
“It feels like you’re avoiding coming back home,” I suggest.
Last summer she went to England and ended up staying there for an entire year. I hoped that she’d fly back to Denver and spend the summer with us. However, she traveled to the Dominican Republic to volunteer for a month. Afterwards, she flew to Costa Rica where she is with Mom who, like Abby, loves to help others whenever possible. Dad is joining them, but he didn’t invite me this time. I have to stay behind to take care of the company.
“You should try this,” she shows me the ocean and the beautiful orange, purple, and blue sky with wispy clouds around the deep yellow halo. “Helping others while enjoying the most amazing landscapes.”
She turns the phone around and that beautiful face brightens my day. Those soulful eyes have a shine that makes me want to lose myself inside of them. This gorgeous girl is so different from the one who arrived to us broken a couple of years back. The new Abby is full of life and makes me want to save the world along with her.
Fuck, I miss her so much.
It’s been weeks since the last time I saw her. This past year I made sure to visit her often. Dad wasn’t happy about my continuous traveling, but I ignored his rants. Maybe next year I’ll quit the company and start my own business. I’ll finally put something in motion and begin my own life.
Abby makes me want to do that. Be my own person and stop living under the shadow of my father while trying to make up for Sterling’s behavior. I’m not sure if I’m capable of leaving Dad when it seems that he needs me now more than he used to.
“What’s going on, Ahern?” Her sweet voice pulls me back to her and away from my problems.
“Nothing, Abby girl. What are your plans?”
“After Costa Rica, I’m going back to school.” She shrugs. “I loved taking lit classes, but my favorite subject is math. I’ve finally decided to pursue an accounting degree.”
“You could do that here, at DU,” I suggest. My heart beats fast as I wait for her answer.
Please, say yes.
“Nope, you know how I feel about going back to Denver. The nightmares stayed there … Life is much better anywhere but there.”
Her words hit me right in the chest, collapsing my lungs.
“Are you ever coming back?” I grasp the phone as if it’s my lifeline.
She presses her lips together. Her gaze moves away from the phone. I stare at her gorgeous profile. That turned up little nose, her plump lips and the long curl of the lashes that frame her eyes
. Abby’s olive skin is darker, and her long hair is fixed into tiny braids. She’s classically beautiful, has a confident grace as well as a giving heart that makes me want more than I can have.
There’s a need inside me begging me to jump on the next plane and fly to her side because I fucking miss her. Every day, I fight my attraction toward her, but it’s getting so hard. She’s not only my confidant and my best friend, she’s becoming my whole reason to be. Yet, I know that nothing can ever happen between us. I’m not good at relationships. Fuck, I’ve never had a long lasting one. And I don’t plan on making a move on Abby when I know beforehand that I could lose her.
If I lose her, I’d lose myself and my heart. I run a hand through my hair, trying to make sense of my thoughts and feelings for her. There’s no point in fighting them, but how do I set them aside and continue being just a friend?
“There’s no point in discussing that,” she finally answers. “I have three years to decide what to do with my life.”
“Two,” I protest.
“Nope.” She shakes her head. “The classes I took for the past year won’t count toward my degree. Technically, I’m going to start my sophomore year.”
Fuck, three more fucking years.
I groan. “That’s it, I’m moving to Berkeley with you.”
“Would you?” Her eyes narrow and her lips quirk a bit into a smile.
“Maybe I’ll quit and open my own company. You’re close to Silicon Valley,” I remind her. “It might work.”
“That’d be perfect,” she whispers. “I could see you every day.”
5
Wes
Abby Age Twenty-One
This year, Mom decided to celebrate Abby’s birthday in Berkeley, at her apartment. I wasn’t a fan of her last-minute decision since I had other plans in mind to celebrate the occasion. They included bar hopping and not my parents. I love my mother, but some days she can be too overbearing.
Love in the Dark Page 129
