“Oh shit. I’m sorry.” He hugged Devra to his chest, soothing her by kissing the crook of her neck and cradling her until the pain of his advance subsided.
“I’m all right now. Just needed a second.” She sighed and melted into Trevon’s arms. “Keep going, please. I’m almost there.”
Quinn smiled and rewarded her frankness with a kiss over her clit followed by his tongue tracing circles around it. It wasn’t long before she was moaning and rocking backward again, facilitating Trevon’s glides in and out of her tight sheath.
This time they were peaking in unison.
Quinn applied more pressure to Devra’s clit and breast. And with his other hand, he reached beyond Trevon’s balls, hoping Devra’s arousal was enough to make his spontaneous maneuver a success.
Trevon was riding Devra with measured thrusts that rocked the entire bed. She was meeting him stroke for stroke. And then she screamed, beating her fists on the pillow. Her pussy spasmed and wrung Trevon’s cock.
That’s when Quinn slipped his finger in Trevon’s ass.
The guy shouted. His balls clenched rhythmically as he joined his wife in a powerful orgasm. The climax caused him to hug Quinn’s finger. The couple shuddered and bucked together, never once slipping apart. Quinn kept up his motions, sucking, probing, and rubbing until they both seemed ready to collapse and he was in danger of being crushed.
Only then did Trevon withdraw his spent cock from Devra’s pussy. A pearlescent stream of his ejaculate decorated her swollen flesh. Quinn figured he deserved the prize and licked it from her as gently as possible, triggering aftershocks that had her pressing her pussy against his face a few final times.
When Trevon crashed to the bed and gathered Devra to his chest, she went willingly into his embrace.
“Thank you, thank you,” she whispered in between kisses on his collarbone. “I love you so much. I couldn’t have imagined a better experience for my first time. Thank you for giving me this night.”
Seeing that he’d done what he set out to do, Quinn felt his own cock jerk.
Without even touching himself, he came hard enough to launch jet after jet of come from his balls all over his chest. He wondered if they would even notice, lost in their revelations about love, sex, and each other.
Of course they did.
Devra pouted, and Trevon said, “Sorry. I was going to help you with that.”
“Nah. I’m good.” Quinn flashed them a crooked smile. If it didn’t quite reach to his heart, that was his problem. He’d known what he was signing up for and he’d achieved his goal. He’d helped them come together and that was the best reward he could have asked for. “In fact, why don’t you two take my bed? I’ll sleep over at your place.”
Devra and Trevon exchanged worried glances, but that was exactly what he didn’t want—to disrupt the progress they’d made. So he rolled from his bed and stood by the side of it looking down at the two people he was sure he’d never forget in all his life.
He bent over and stole one tiny kiss from Devra and then paused before doing the same with Trevon. The guy groaned and raised his shoulders from the bed as if he wanted a hell of a lot more than that chaste peck, but Quinn wasn’t offering.
Not tonight and probably not ever.
This had been penance, not something to enjoy, although he had anyway.
“Thank you,” Devra whispered, and Trevon nodded his agreement.
“Goodnight.” Although it threatened to rip his soul in half, Quinn forced himself to put one foot in front of the other and leave the happy couple behind.
He started to cross the yard but knew he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to go inside. It wasn’t like he was going to fall asleep anytime soon anyway. So he settled for lying down in the grass and studying the stars, wondering where in the universe he fit in.
Was there a soul mate out there for him?
Would he ever find him or her or them?
Could they be any more perfect for him than Devra and Trevon, who weren’t his to keep?
He didn’t think so.
19
Devra took a deep, if shaky, breath. You can do this, she coached herself repeatedly before resolving to be as kind, yet honest, as she could be. Her future happiness—Trevon’s, and maybe Quinn’s, too—depended on this talk going well. It had been nearly a week of strained smiles and frantic lovemaking with her husband followed by silence as they lay awake, neither able to sleep. No matter how much they fucked, it didn’t seem to satisfy either of them the way it had that first time.
They were stuck in limbo. In some bizarre gray area. If they didn’t resolve this soon, they would break. She refused to allow that after how hard they’d fought to get here.
Devra walked into the kitchen and sat down at the two-person table across from Trevon, who looked like he’d hardly dozed off again the night before. His lids drooped and he clung to his coffee mug like a lifeline.
“Trevon…”
“I know. We have to talk about this.” He lifted his gaze to hers. The warmth of his rich brown eyes seemed dampened by the bloodshot whites surrounding them.
“We do.” She reached out and put her hand over his. “Because I love you. I need you to understand that.”
“I love you, too.” He lifted her fingers to his lips and kissed them. “I know you don’t always believe that we would be together if circumstances were different, but I’m so glad to have you in my life. You’re my best friend and now…more.”
“We owe Quinn for that.” She smiled softly, hoping what she was about to say didn’t change how he felt about her.
“We do.” He nodded. “But that night…”
“It changed everything,” Devra blurted.
“For me, too.” Trevon scrunched his eyes closed then said quietly. “I want more. Of you. And him, too. Shit, I’m greedy as fuck. But…”
“Hey, it’s okay.” Devra steeled herself to be as fearless as he had always been and admit the truth. “I still want him, too. And I sort of want to see where things go. Between all of us, individually and maybe together. You’re right, you know? I do feel guilty about tying you down. I know this isn’t what you would have chosen for yourself.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to be where I am now.” He stiffened, as if daring her to argue that point.
“I’m trying to believe that. But it would help me to accept it as truth if…maybe…” The words got stuck in her throat. It was so wild. Would he think she’d lost her mind? Or maybe that she was a total whore?
“Go ahead, Devra. We don’t have any secrets and we shouldn’t start keeping them now. If you can picture a way out of this, one that could end in us being happy for the long term, I want to know about it. Because I can’t see it. I don’t see any way for this mess we’ve gotten ourselves in to end up in anything but disaster.” He paused then whispered, “I’m afraid.”
“Of what?” She tipped her head. Was he scared of exploring the part of him that enjoyed men? She knew his family would never have approved. But they were gone now. And she did. She’d support him no matter how this turned out.
“I don’t want to risk losing you. You’re an incredible person. The past few days have been…great.” He cursed under his breath. “That should be enough.”
“But it’s obviously not.” She cleared her throat. “For me either. Okay?”
His eyes widened. “Are you sure?”
Devra nodded. “I can’t stop thinking about the fact that we didn’t really sleep with him. That we let him leave like that…”
“The look in his eyes…” Trevon downed half his mug, but it wasn’t going to help. “It’s been torture at work. He’s not the same. We cut him.”
“I know. Shit, Trevon. I think we really screwed up.” Now that it was out there between them, it was like a flood of emotion and explanations burst from inside her. “I want to see what it’s like between him and me, and I want you to sleep with him. I want you to come back to me…if you decide
that’s what you want…and be sure that I’m the person you want most. Or, if not, that you are as happy as you can possibly be. You deserve that.”
“And so do you.” Trevon nodded. “It goes both ways, you know? Sometimes I’m afraid you’re with me because I was the only option you had and now you feel indebted. It fucks me up sometimes. I can’t…do all the things I want with you knowing that you might not believe you have other options even now. Besides, you’ve only ever slept with me, and that’s new, too. You should at least try someone else so you can be sure I’m what you want.”
Seriously? He thought…
Damn, they were more damaged than she’d realized.
“I will always choose you.” She smiled. “But I think we should experiment. For both our sakes.”
Trevon smiled back. “I only have one question.”
“Yeah? What’s that?” An answering grin spread across her face.
“Will you be there when I sleep with him? I want you to see it for yourself. To make your own informed decisions. I don’t want to do this in isolation or behind your back. That seems counter to everything we’re committing to going forward.” Trevon locked eyes with her. “I want this to work.”
Devra really thought about the ramifications before she responded. There would be no hiding their true feelings if they were all in it together. That was what they should do. “Okay. And same goes. You’ll be there when I sleep with him so you can see for yourself that you’re meant for me and would have been no matter how I met you. Except…”
Trevon nudged his foot against hers under the table. “Don’t chicken out now—what?”
“I liked how he took control. It seems like you and I have floundered around without direction. Maybe that’s what we need. Someone who likes to be in charge to prod us when we get bogged down by our thoughts and insecurities. Someone who doesn’t let us wander in circles for years. Someone who pushes us to be the best versions of ourselves and refuses to let our relationship get stale.”
“Something about it definitely worked.” Trevon shrugged. “I want to do it again. Soon.”
“Me, too.” Relief inspired a grin to spread slowly over her lips. For the first time in days, she felt like she could breathe again.
“So…who’s going to come on to him first?”
“Rock, paper, scissors, best two out of three,” Devra proposed.
“Fair enough, Mrs. Russell.”
She knew she should have been bummed when Trevon’s scissors cut her paper, but exhilaration raced through her instead. Watching her husband with Quinn might be even sexier than sleeping with him herself.
20
Devra was nervous.
Not for herself, but for her husband.
They’d discussed the best way to go about getting what they wanted, and what she was pretty sure Quinn needed. In the end, they’d decided to be spontaneous. Trevon kept toying with the hem of his shirt, shifting restlessly as he did when he was anxious, though she couldn’t say if it was because he was looking for the right opening to make his proposition, or because he was terrified of being rejected.
Either way, she’d be there to support him.
They were hanging out at Quinn’s house, as they did almost every night lately. Since his kitchen was larger than theirs, she was tinkering with a new recipe, occasionally asking the guys to taste her creations and give feedback. They loved everything she made, though, so it was more fun than helpful to feed them.
Instead of watching a movie, the guys had decided to play video games. Devra was a little surprised. Trevon had never expressed interest in that since she’d known him. Maybe because they didn’t have extra cash for a gaming system, but he’d never even mentioned it. He preferred to be doing things outside—working with his hands, not playing with them. Maybe he was humoring Quinn since the other guy had suggested it and said it wasn’t any fun playing by himself.
“Want to wager on it?” Trevon asked, perking Devra’s ears up.
They didn’t have anything to gamble. Except maybe themselves.
Quinn grinned. “I’m always up for a bet. What are the stakes?”
“Loser gives the winner a blowjob.”
Devra dropped a baking sheet of baklava onto the granite countertop with a clatter. American bluntness still caught her off guard sometimes.
Both men whipped around to look at her. Shit, she’d ruined Trevon’s chance.
“You okay?” Trevon asked.
Devra nodded. Okay? She was about to spontaneously combust. It might not have been right or proper, but thinking of watching Quinn give Trevon as much pleasure as her husband had been giving her these past several days…it turned her on as high as the oven.
Quinn looked between her and her husband. His eyes narrowed. “Why do I feel like I’m being set up?”
“It wasn’t a trick question. But yes, Devra and I discussed the possibility of…you and me. Doing stuff.” Trevon shrugged. “There are things we still need to figure out between us, and one of them is the fact that—”
He stumbled over how to put it politely.
So Devra imagined how Mustang Sally would act in this situation, and said what Trevon couldn’t. “I found out what it was like to have sex with a man last week. Trevon still hasn’t had that opportunity. He needs to before we can decide where we go from here.”
Quinn rubbed his jaw. What was he thinking?
Hopefully he realized that not just any man off the street would suffice for this experiment. It was about him, too. They had a connection with him. Almost like he really understood their struggles and what it had taken to get to even this precarious point in their relationship and in life.
“Fuck the game then. You don’t have to concoct some elaborate scheme to get in my pants. If that’s what you want, ask.” Quinn stared at Trevon.
“Can I suck your cock?”
“Jesus, Trevon. I’m not a good enough man to say no to that.” Quinn’s jaw tightened. “You can have me any fucking time you want.”
Trevon looked to Devra, who nodded. This was what he’d been hoping for and dreaming of for a while now. She wasn’t about to stop him before he got what he needed.
“Now. I want you right now.” Trevon angled himself toward the other guy.
Quinn sat, relaxed, his arms spread behind him across the top of his sofa. His knees were set wide apart and his socked feet planted in the surprisingly soft midnight blue rug. “Don’t worry, Trevon. Just the idea of you going down on me is so incredible that I’m not going to last long. You’re going to get off easy.”
Trevon laughed, some of the tension in the room evaporating with their banter. “No, you’ve got it backwards. You’re going to get off easy.”
“You don’t think I’m the kind of guy to take without reciprocating, do you?” Quinn’s teasing tone faltered. Didn’t he realize they thought the world of him?
He’d done nothing but shower them with kindness, acceptance, and the sparks of arousal and attraction that had goaded them into taking a leap of faith they’d been too scared to make on their own.
“What if I don’t want a blowjob from you?” Trevon murmured, staring at the ground.
Quinn flinched until he realized Trevon hadn’t meant it like it had sounded. He put his hand under Trevon’s chin and lifted it until they met eye to eye. Once he detected the same uncertainty and desperation Devra did in Trevon’s walnut eyes—even darker now that he was aroused and even a little scared—Quinn relaxed. “Then I’ll give you whatever it is you do want.”
“Your cock,” Trevon said plainly, making Devra shiver.
“Where?” Quinn wondered, probably not because he wasn’t sure but because he wanted Trevon to admit it. To own his desires. To accept them and Quinn.
Devra would have hugged them both if she wasn’t too afraid of interrupting the moment. They were so perfect and so damaged in their own ways. Ways that made her feel like she wasn’t such a failure for her own issues. They might not agree, and w
ould likely consider their emotions weaknesses, but they made her adore them both even more.
“Inside me. My ass.” Trevon swallowed. “Please.”
Quinn nodded slowly. Then, while still staring into Trevon’s eyes, he unbuckled his black leather and chain belt. It rattled in the absolute silence. Devra would remember the sound of it for the rest of her life.
Trevon licked his full lips as he fixated on Quinn’s fingers, which unbuttoned his jeans then ripped open the fly. He lifted his hips and ordered Trevon, “Take these off me.”
Her husband reached out, his hands stopping barely an inch from Quinn’s clothing and the gorgeous body beneath. He looked to her. This was the point of no return and they both knew it.
“Go ahead, Trevon. Do as he says.” She wondered if they would object to her sliding her dress up her thighs and touching herself while they entertained each other. Seeing them like this, raw and exposed, aroused her more than she’d expected.
“Why don’t you join us?” Quinn asked quietly. “Come sit here and see how incredible your husband makes me feel.”
Trevon looked at her and admitted, “It will make me more comfortable if I can see you and know that you aren’t disgusted by what we’re doing.”
That settled it. Devra practically flew to the couch. She sat cross-legged facing the two men. It was easy for them to notice her panties and the wet spot on the crotch of them. Trevon especially had a perfect view of the proof of her approval. “You see that I’m not, right?”
He nodded.
Quinn groaned. He said to Trevon, “She should enjoy the show, right? Touch herself? Make herself come if she likes watching us like this?”
Trevon nodded again, as if speaking was beyond him.
When Quinn switched his attention to Devra, for just a moment, there was no denying him. “Do it, Devra. Whatever feels right as you witness our passion, you should do it.”
She blushed. Could he guess that despite her bravado in front of the Hot Rods ladies, she’d never masturbated before? At home, it would have been too dangerous to get caught doing something so wicked. And since she’d met Trevon, well, things had been awkward at first. She’d learned to suppress these parts of herself. These desires. In a way, Quinn and Trevon were freeing her again. Giving her permission to discover herself.
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