“It’s not like that,” my father said, pouring himself a shot of bourbon with a bit of water. “But it’s high time you get serious about your life.”
“First, I’m serious about my work, you know it’s true. Second, what I do out of work isn’t any of your business.”
“We have a family name to protect,” my mother said. “You don’t seem to realize your playboy ways have consequences.”
I didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. “So the family name is more important than my happiness?”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course not, but you and Evie—”
“We’re friends. She doesn’t want to marry me.”
“She’ll come around—”
“She’ll be miserable and I would be too. Is that what you want? Why is it misery and infidelity are okay with your antiquated aristocrat ways, but marrying for love and happiness isn’t. This is all bullshit.”
“Watch your mouth and tone, son,” my father warned.
I held my hands up. “I’m not marrying Evie. I’ll pack my things and move out now. I’ll let Bri know that she’s the family’s last hope at maintaining the Roarke legacy.”
“Stop being so melodramatic,” my father shook his head as he looked from me to my mother. “No one is disowning you, Devin. Really, Katherine, you need to let this thing with Evelyn go. There are plenty of other suitable women out there.”
She sucked in a breath, but before she could respond, my father turned his attention to me. “And you need to stop playing playboy businessman and get serious. You want to be the big man? Then start focusing on the Roarke business and give up all this club nonsense.”
I glanced at my mother and knew she wasn’t going to give in on the Evie marriage. I knew I wasn’t going to give in on the clubs. They were successful, and catered to the next generation of Roarke customers.
“I’m going to Paris. When I get back, I’m moving into my own place and working with Bri on a new club, while simultaneously managing current Roarke properties. I did it in Europe, I can do it here. If you don’t like it, fire me now.” I waited for a second, my breath stuck in my chest as I wondered if my father would call me on my ultimatum.
“You can’t just—”
“We’ll talk when you get back,” my father said, interrupting my mother.
I nodded and turned to leave.
“He’s still young, Katherine. He can still come around if we don’t force him into a corner.” I heard my father say as I left the room.
I shook my head knowing I’d never come around. I went upstairs to pack for Europe. I checked on Bri but she wasn’t in her room. She was lucky to be born second. Perhaps being a girl helped too considering how antiquated my parents’ thinking was. I hoped to hell I wouldn’t put my family through all this old-world traditional bullshit. Then I remembered I wasn’t going to have a family. Problem solved.
11
Serena
I did the right thing by completely cutting Devin from my life, but that didn’t mean that I liked it. Each time he’d called or texted over the next week, I got annoyed wishing he’d get the message and stop. Then he did stop, and now I was annoyed and hurt that he wasn’t trying to get in touch with me. I was an idiot.
Ultimately, I had to accept that while I wished it could be different, the situation now was the best for all of us. I needed to focus on keeping Andrew safe from Devin’s family, even as it felt more wrong than before to do so.
All I had to do was stay away from Devin and my life could go back to how it was before. Well, maybe not exactly as before, but pre-Devin returning, I didn’t think of him as much as I did now. And he didn’t appear in my dreams as much either.
Letting Devin touch me again also ruined my private moments of self-gratification. It just felt so much better when he was touching me than me touching myself. I wondered if a toy would help me with that? Or maybe I could meet a new man. But even as I thought it, I knew that wasn’t the answer. It seemed unlikely I’d meet someone who got to me the way Devin did. And if I did, I’d probably feel guilty about it, which made no sense. I wouldn’t be cheating on him, and yet the idea of being with another man felt like a betrayal.
I scoffed at myself. “Clearly he doesn’t feel the same.” I couldn’t get the vision of him escorting his friend Evie into a private room at his parents’ party or of his sister telling me they were engaged and probably fucking. I thought I’d been smart with my heart this time around, but clearly, I hadn’t been because it felt like it had been stomped on.
“Mommy? Can we go to the airport? I want to see the airplanes.” Andrew sat at the kitchen table eating his breakfast.
“Maybe this weekend,” I said, happy for the distraction. “I don’t have to work this weekend so we can do something fun.”
“Can we ride in one?”
“I don’t think we can do that,” I said.
“Did you know that rich people have their own airplanes? That’s what I want when I grow up; to be rich and have my own airplane.”
Another wave of guilt rolled through me. Andrew was rich. The chances seemed pretty good that the Roarke family owned an airplane. It didn’t happen often, but on occasion, like now, I realized that there were things Devin could offer Andrew that I couldn’t. The money yes, but I meant beyond the money. Experiences. Like riding in an airplane.
“You’ll have to work hard and do well in school.”
“I do.”
I kissed his head as I made my way to the sink to pour out my coffee. “You’re a smart boy.”
I dropped Andrew off with my mother and made my way to work. I’d gotten lots of kudos for my work with the Roarke anniversary party, so Nikita was working to give me more exclusive work.
I was at my desk when she popped her head in. “Got a minute?”
“Yeah, sure. Come in.” I closed the file I was reviewing.
“Are you holding out on me?” she asked, looking down on me with her arms crossed and one brow quirked up.
“Ah…no…I don’t think so.”
“I’m hearing rumors around the office that Devin Roarke is engaged, and yet, I don’t see anything suggesting that we’re doing an engagement party or wedding.”
I swallowed hard as pain seared my heart. “I haven’t heard anything about a party or wedding.”
She sat in the chair by my desk. “Then you need to bring it up. Rena, if you got the job of planning the Roarke-Winthrop wedding, you’d be made here. And the envy of everyone including me. You need to ask him about it.”
I nodded because I didn’t know what else to do. “I’ll ask.”
She frowned. “What’s going on? Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, sure,” I said forcing myself to smile and perk up.
“There were no problems with the Roarke anniversary party, was there? They were happy with everything, right? I mean there’s no reason why they wouldn’t want you helping them is there?”
I shook my head. “No. Everything went as planned.”
She studied me for a moment. “You didn’t…uh…you and Mr. Roarke spent time alone at the beach…you didn’t sleep with him, did you?”
“What?” I hoped I sounded shocked and offended. “No.”
“Good, because you know that would be grounds for firing. And if that got out while he was engaged to Ms. Winthrop, that would be a PR disaster for us.”
I was beginning to hate the word engaged, especially related to Devin.
“You don’t need to worry about that.” I waved a hand to indicate there was nothing to her concern.
“Good. I know I suggested something with him before, but it would be wrong as his planner. Plus, if he’s engaged, you don’t want him anyway. If he’s committed to someone and sleeping around, you don’t want him. Rich and sexy as hell or not, you deserve better. And of course, you have Andrew to think about.”
I nodded. “Yes, I do.” I appreciated the reminder.
She stood. “If there�
�s nothing between you too, you really should start talking to him about an engagement party and wedding. He can give you the introduction to the Winthrop family that you need for that.”
“I’ll get right on it.” Not.
“Good. Oh, one more thing. As you know, we got the St. Patrick's party at the Roarke. I’d like your team to help me with that. My team is meeting on it this afternoon. Can you and your team join us?”
“Absolutely.” The last thing I wanted was to be anywhere near Devin or a Roarke property, but I had to do whatever was needed to grow my career. If Andrew wasn’t going to have Roarke money, I needed to work my way up and get as many raises as possible to make sure he had everything he needed.
“He’s in Europe this week.”
Maybe he’ll stay, I thought. It would sure make my life easier, if not sadder, if he did.
“When he gets back, we’ll go over final St. Pat plans with him.”
“Okay.”
“Also, I’m hearing rumors that he and his sister are looking at opening a club, we’ll want to learn about that. I could be another venue for us to consider for our clients, and they’ll likely want a grand opening party, which we can help with.” She smiled. “Ah, Rena, it’s so fortunate that you knew him. You’re going to be at the queen of hill here with that contact.”
I smiled, or at least I hoped I was because inside I was dying a little bit. “Being a queen sounds nice.”
Fortunately, I was able to get through the rest of the day without comments or questions about planning an engagement party or wedding for Devin. I couldn’t imagine how I’d do that. Even though I knew I could never be with him, it still hurt to think of him with someone else. Plus, if I was his engagement party planner, did I warn his fiancé that he was a cheater or did she know? His sister made it sound like the fiancé was giving him space to sow his oats. The rich must be a different sort of people to put up with that.
When I arrived at my parents’ apartment to pick up Andrew, my mom invited us to stay for dinner. I was going to say no, but then Andrew said my mom had made his favorite dish, so I acquiesced.
As I finished putting chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes on Andrew’s plate, my father asked, “So are things at work picking up now?”
“What do you mean?” I asked putting green beans on Andrew’s plate and then mine.
“After doing a party for the Roarke family, I’d think you’d have more work,” he said.
Inwardly I rolled my eyes.
“The family probably has lots of events,” my mother said. “I hear Devin Roarke is taking over the business. It’s good that you’ve already worked with him. I bet he’ll have a lot of events he needs help with.”
“What is it with everyone wanting me to do events for Devin?” I snapped.
Andrew’s eyes widened into round disks as they darted from me to my mother.
My mother gasped and my father frowned.
“Is there a reason we shouldn’t be interested in your career?” My father’s voice was low and serious like it was when I was in trouble as a kid.
I inhaled a shaky breath working to get my irritation under control. “I’m sorry. I’m very grateful to have had Dev—Mr. Roarke’s business, but it’s put additional pressure on me at work.”
“Are you mad, Mommy?” Andrew looked up at me with those sweet eyes. I swallowed as I saw Devin in those eyes.
“No, honey. I’m just tired.” I rubbed his back. “Eat your dinner.” I looked at my parents. “Sorry.”
“You know, if you’re going to move up in your career, you’ll probably need to learn to manage the extra pressure,” my mother said.
“Yes. I will.” I focused my attention on my dinner. “I’ll be helping at the Roarke’s St. Patrick's party.”
“See, your hard work is paying off,” my mother said picking up the potatoes. “Anyone want more spuds?”
The rest of the meal went without incident. Afterward, I took Andrew home. We played a game of Uno and then I gave him a bath and got him ready for bed.
Once he was settled, I got my glass of wine and sat near the window, staring off into space wondering what I was doing with my life. Nikita and my parents were right; working with the Roarke family would be good for my career, but how could I possibly continue to be around him? For one, I couldn’t seem to resist him when we were alone, but more importantly, the more I was with him, the more my conscience would pressure me to tell him the truth about Andrew. I was going to hell for sure for not telling him, but I was so scared of what could happen. They had the money to take Andrew from me. They also could turn my employer against me. I could be fired. They had the influence in New York to keep me from being hired elsewhere.
It was difficult to think Devin would do that to me, and yet, the truth was, I didn’t really know him. I hadn’t known about his fiancé.
I finished my wine still not having any answers to my dilemma. I was beginning to think there were no answers. If I was lucky, Devin would stay in Europe and I wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. My heart clenched in my chest at the idea of not seeing him.
Dammit. I couldn’t be with him and yet, that idea of never seeing him made me incredibly sad.
12
Devin
Professionally, the trip to Europe went well. The plans for the Paris club were all set and ready to roll out. For all his talk about not wanting a club, my father hadn’t done anything to stop the project from continuing. He had the power to stop all the projects I did for the company, but he never did. It made me wonder if he was testing me somehow. If so, I wondered if I was passing or failing.
My life wasn’t quite as on track personally. The trip did distract me from Serena when I was working, but late at night, alone in the large, soft bed, thoughts of her haunted me. I tried to focus on how she clearly wasn’t into me as a way to talk myself into letting her go. The problem was that the question of what the hell had happened ate at me and I couldn’t seem to let it go.
The day after arriving back in the United States, I worked at the Roarke office to follow up on business issues in Europe as well as catch up on projects at home. I left the office early and headed to the event planning firm to find out once and for all what had Serena ghosting me for a second time.
As I rode the elevator up to her firm’s floor, I wondered if knowing the truth would really set me free. With my luck, it would just piss me off. Or worse, hurt. At the same time, the not-knowing was making me nuts.
I exited the elevator and stopped at the receptionist’s desk. “I’m here to see Ms. Serena Moore.”
“Is she expecting you?”
“No. I’m Devin Roarke. I think she’ll see me.” It was ballsy to expect that. At the same time, I knew being a Roarke would carry enough clout here that Serena would be hard-pressed not to see me. Her boss wouldn’t like her brushing me off.
“Mr. Roarke?”
I turned to see Nikita approaching me. “Is everything okay? We’re all set for the St. Patrick's party.”
“Yes. I was hoping to see Ms. Moore.”
“Oh?” Her smiled brightened. “I’m glad she contacted you. We’re very eager to help you with your upcoming plans.”
I was lost. Serena never contacted me and I had no plans outside the St. Patrick's party at the Roarke, except Serena wasn’t the planner for that event.
“Let me take you to her office,” Nikita said.
“Thank you.” I followed her through a large bright room filled with desks where people were working. Off to the far side was an area with large tables and comfortable looking seating probably to meet with clients. When you got to be as important as my family, nearly everyone came to us for meetings, so I’d never been in that area.
We entered a long hall and walked a few doors down. Nikita knocked.
“Come in.” Hearing Serena’s voice sent a shot of adrenaline through me. I took a breath to guard against any more reactions. It was time to find out what happened and then move on.
My emotions had to stay out of it.
Nikita opened the door. “Mr. Roarke. Would you like coffee or wine? We have sparkling water too.”
“No thank you,” I said stepping into Serena’s office.
“Mr. Roarke.” Her eyes widened and then turned wary. Yep. I was leaving here an unattached man.
“Ms. Moore.”
She stood as Nikita closed the door behind me. We stared at each other for a long moment before she finally said, “Is there something I can help you with?”
“Yes. You can tell me what the fuck is going on.”
She flinched at my tone.
I held my hands up and took a breath. “Sorry. I get that you’re done with me, but I can’t seem to let go without knowing why. What happened?”
Her expression morphed into irritation. “I’m not interested in being a little something on the side.”
I stared at her trying to make sense of her words. “I still have no clue what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, for crying out loud, Devin, you have some gall.”
I put my hands on my hips and shook my head. “Still clueless.”
She rolled her eyes. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice that you took your fiancé into a private room?”
Confusion had me frowning at her. “What fiancé?”
“Oh my God. Are you really going to deny that you took Evelyn Winthrop into a private room at your parents’ anniversary party? The Evelyn Winthrop you’re engaged to marry?”
“No. I did do that. Evie is a friend—”
“Stop lying, Devin!” she snapped, making me jerk in surprise.
Anger replaced my shock. “I’m many things, Serena, a liar isn’t one of them.”
“So, your sister is a liar? Because she told me you were in that room fucking Evelyn to appease her for wanting to put off your wedding until you finished sowing your oats.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” I laughed derisively. “Do you want the truth or do you just want to believe I’m an asshole?”
An Irish Affair Page 9
