The image of Mrs. Roarke telling me not to go to Europe with Devin, and then later, how angry and cruel she’d been when I told her I was pregnant flashed in my brain. Just like I was unable to resist Devin when he was with me, the memory of his mother made my decision to keep Andrew from them easier.
14
Devin
As I rode the elevator down in Serena’s building, I didn’t feel any clearer about what the hell was up than when I arrived. She said her concern was with her job. It seemed like a legitimate concern, and yet, I couldn’t help the feeling that there was more to it. Or something else. She was still hiding something. The smart thing to do would be to give her an ultimatum; come clean or let me go. Yet every time I started to walk, inside I was hoping to hell she’d ask me to stay. When she’d reach for me, I felt like we were in a little piece of heaven. For a short time, the world was just made up of me and her and it was sweet perfection. And then, before I could even withdraw my body from hers, I’d see the walls rise in her eyes. It was fucking frustrating. I couldn’t figure out why I was bothering except that the idea of not seeing her was something I didn’t want to consider.
When I arrived home, I remembered that the origin of her running off was in thinking that I was engaged. It was one thing if my mother had said it, but apparently Bri had said something. It was time I cleared things up with her too.
“Oh Devin, good you’re home. Brianna is going to be here for dinner tonight for once. Will you join us?” my mother said from her sitting room as I headed through the foyer to the stairs.
“Yeah. I have a few things I need to talk to you all about.”
“Oh? Good news?”
“I suppose that depends.” I started taking the stairs up to my room. I changed into shorts and a t-shirt and then went to the gym at the back of the house. I ran on the treadmill, pushing myself to relieve the emotional tension building in my body. Afterward, I took a sauna and then a shower. My muscles were relaxed, but my brain was still ruminating on what the hell to do about Serena.
At dinner time, I walked into the formal dining room that felt a lot like a museum. That was the problem with my family, I thought. We were so focused on image that we lacked warmth, not just in how we interacted but in how we lived.
I pulled out my phone and texted my real estate agent about the sale of the apartment. While I was in Europe, I got the message that the seller accepted my offer. Now I just needed to close the deal and move.
Close Friday. I’ll be at your office at 10. Move in any time after that, my agent responded.
Halle-fucking-lujah.
“Roped into dinner too?” Bri asked as she sat across from me with a glass of wine. I suspected it wasn’t her first one. It seemed to me she struggled with how our dysfunctional family was too, but I didn’t know why. She had way more freedom than I did.
“I actually eat with them a couple nights a week.”
“Glutton for punishment?”
I poured myself a glass of wine too and sat in my seat across from her. “Something like that.” Although instead of thinking of my parents I thought of Serena. “Listen, you need to stop telling people I’m engaged to Evie.”
Bri quirked a brow. “I don’t talk about you and Evie.”
“I’ve been told otherwise. I’m not marrying her.”
“Do Mom and Dad know?” she asked.
“Yes.”
She laughed. “Do they agree?”
“No. Mom threatened to disinherit me.”
Bri did a spit-take. “What?” She grabbed her napkin to wipe her mouth and her plate now covered with wine. “What did you say?”
“I said fine.”
“You’re going to walk away from nearly a billion dollars?” She smirked like she didn’t believe me.
“Yep.”
She leaned forward. “Holy shit, are you in love? Are you throwing it all away for love?”
“No.” I shifted uncomfortably. I didn’t want to go into detail about my complicated relationship with Serena. It couldn’t be love because it seemed to me love would be easier than whatever it was that I had with her. “But I’m not going to have my life dictated anymore. Besides, I invest my money. Plus, I learned a lot during my time in Europe. I can build my own billion-dollar company.”
She snorted. “I love that. Mom and Dad sent you away to make you grow up, but didn’t count on you growing balls too.”
I rolled my eyes. “My balls were always there.”
“That’s what the rumor is. So does Evie know you’re not marrying her?”
“She wants to marry me even less than I want to marry her.” I leaned forward in case there were prying eyes. “She’s seeing Jasper Lassiter. But don’t tell.”
Bri gaped. “As in Lowcountry Sinners the southern rock band’s Jasper Lassiter?” she asked.
“Yep.”
“Wow.” She sat back and looked like she was taking in the news. “But no one else knows?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Maybe if the parents knew they’d back off you two.”
I laughed. “Can you imagine Mrs. Winthrop hearing Evie is seeing Lassiter?”
“She’d stroke out.”
“Right.”
Bri’s brows furrowed. “So, what were you and Evie doing hiding at the party if you weren’t showing her those big balls you say you have.”
For a young woman from a high society family, Bri could be so low class sometimes.
“While I was gone in Europe, our supposed betrothal never came up, so we both thought the families had forgotten. But once I got back, both our families were ready to send out the invites. She and I were trying to come up with a plan to get them off our backs.”
“How’s that working?”
“I think Mom believes when I say that I’ll walk away.”
“Walk away from what?” My mother entered the room, looking rich and regal. It appeared that she’d dressed up for dinner.
“You’re watching Downton Abbey again, aren’t you Mom?” Bri asked with a shake of her at Mom’s fancy dress.
“It’s a sign of respect to dress for dinner.”
I looked down at my Polo shirt and jeans and then over at Bri, who wore a hoodie. “I have more respect than you,” I said to Bri.
“You always were a kiss ass.”
“Brianna!” My mother’s shrill voice made both me and Bri flinch and then laugh.
“What’s for dinner?” my father said entering. He wasn’t in a full suit, but he did have dark slacks and a crisp button shirt. I suspect my mother was going to let him off the hook because ties were difficult for him to tie these days. I watched as he made his way to the table. His gait was slow and stiff. Was it worse than it had been? I realized I hadn’t been paying much attention lately.
“It’s a roast with potatoes and asparagus,” my mother said sitting at her end of the table.
“I’m a vegetarian,” Bri said.
My mother looked horrified. My father rolled his eyes.
“That’s why she lives on vodka,” I said. “A full potato diet.”
Bri grinned at me.
“Why can’t we have a nice dinner without all the silliness. I swear. The two of you have never grown up.”
“Sure we have. Devin was just telling me about his big balls.”
My father choked and my mother glared. “That’s enough Brianna.”
She shrugged. “Maybe you’d rather talk about who Dev is banging these days that has him willing to walk away from his fortune.”
Now I was annoyed. “You really need to be sent to your room.” I glared at Bri.
“Is that true, Devin? You’re seeing someone?” My father snapped open his napkin and laid it on his lap. Carl, one of several servants my parents employed, rolled a cart in with our dinner on it. He served my mother first.
Annoyed, I said, “There’s a woman I’m interested in.” I couldn’t be sure I could call what we were doing as “seeing” each other.
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“Is it serious?” my father asked.
I shrugged. “It’s too early to tell.”
“Who is it?” Of course, my mother would go right to that. She’d want to make sure the woman was worthy of a Roarke. Serena was, but my mother wouldn’t think so. Serena was aware of this. I wanted to reassure her that I didn’t care about pedigree, but I wasn’t sure I succeeded.
“You wouldn’t know her,” I said.
Bri gave me a look like two plus two were coming together. It would be too much to hope that she’d keep it to herself.
“Is it the event planner? It must be. She wasn’t too thrilled to see you hiding with Evie.” She gave herself a smack in the forehead. “No wonder you told me to stop saying you were engaged. She’s the one I told.”
“Event planner?” my mother’s voice was tight.
Not wanting to get Serena in trouble, I said, “No. That would be wrong. She could lose her job for that.”
Bri smirked. I hadn’t fooled her.
“You know, Devin, we all know that young men like to play the field a bit, but it’s time for you to get serious. You need to be more discriminating. There are women who’ll pretend to love you just to get at your money.”
I looked at my mother. “What do you think marrying Evie would be about? Pretending to love for money.”
“Not money. Breeding. Status. I know you think that’s not important, but it is.”
“They might be gold diggers,” Bri said.
“Thank you.” Maybe Bri was on my side after all.
“They might like him for his other assets.”
I choked on my potato.
“Are you being vulgar again?” my mother asked Bri.
“The point is, I’m not an idiot. If I can run a multi-million dollar business, I can probably pick a wife.” I shook my head. “Which I’m not doing, at least not anytime soon.”
“Why not?” my father asked. “There’s nothing wrong with settling down, son.”
“I’m not going to get married just to be married. You make it part of a job, when it’s a personal thing. To be honest, I’m not sure I ever want to marry.”
“I agree,” Bri said. “It’s more hassle than it’s worth. Plus, there’s lots of fish in the sea. How can you settle for just one?”
My mother looked like she might pass out. “We did everything right with these kids, why are they so ungrateful?” She asked my father.
“I wasn’t much different at his age. I just had more respect for my parents and the responsibility of the business,” my father said with a sharp eye on me. “You’ve come a long way since when you first went to Europe, but you still have a ways to go, starting with giving up this club idea and focusing on what has made Roarke restaurants world-renowned.”
“What’s that?” Bri asked deadpanned.
“Oh for goodness sake.” My mother patted her eyes with her napkin, a sure sign that she was getting teary. “Why can’t we just have a nice family dinner. Why do you have to ruin everything with your snark, Bri?”
Bri inhaled a breath. “Sorry Mom.” I could see her withdrawing into herself. For the rest of dinner she’d likely only give yes or no responses.
“This is a family dinner, right?” I said.
“Yes. That’s what I want.”
I shook my head. “No. What you want is a dinner in which Bri and I toe the line. If you want us to give lip service and placate you, we can. But if we’re having a family dinner, maybe you can let Bri and me be who we are, not who you want us to be.”
My father’s gaze cut to my mother. “They’re not wrong, Katherine.” Then he looked to Bri. “At the same time, you could learn some manners and respect.”
“I didn’t realize I was so difficult,” my mother said passive abrasively.
“Daddy, how did your appointment go today,” Bri asked ignoring my mother.
He shrugged. “Everything is about the same.”
“Is it really?” I asked. “Be honest, Dad.”
He glanced up at my mother.
“Your father is doing great,” she said in that way mothers did to hide just how bad things were.
“Is there something I can do?” I asked. My parents weren’t easy, but that didn’t mean I didn’t love them or wouldn’t want to help them in a time of need.
My father shook his head. “You’re a big help at the office.”
“Do we need to make changes at home? Maybe move your master bedroom downstairs?” I asked, knowing his mobility would slowly get worse.
“I don’t want to talk about this at dinner,” my mother said in a clipped tone.
Bri rolled her eyes, but thankfully didn’t respond.
I blew out a breath. “Okay. Well, then I’ll let you know that I’m moving out this weekend.”
“Why?” Bri pouted. “It’s more fun with you here.”
“I’m buying a place on Central Park West.”
“You don’t like it here?” my mother asked.
“Mom.” Bri couldn’t hide her annoyance. “How is it he’s old enough to get married, but not old enough to have his own place. In fact, it might improve his chances to get married if he moved out.”
“I don’t need your help,” I said to Bri. “I’m not trying to escape; I’m just wanting my own space.”
“We have plenty of space here.”
I wondered if my mother wanted me here because she loved me or because she wanted to keep me under the family rule.
The rest of the dinner went about the same. After dinner, I met with Bri to talk about the club plans, and then she headed out to see her friends. Back in my own room, I continued to work until deciding to get some sleep.
Once in bed, I remembered what my sister said about having my own place improving my prospects with women. I wondered if I’d convince Serena to see me at my new place and if so, would she stay the night?
Deciding to ask, I called her up.
“Hello?”
“You picked up.” It was the first time since my parents’ party I’d called or texted her and got a response. “That’s a good sign. Is it too late to call?”
“I’m just having a glass of wine and reading.”
That was something she could do at my place. “How busy this weekend are you?”
“Pretty busy, why?”
I couldn’t help but wonder if that was true. It seemed to be her standard answer. “I’m buying a place and thought you could come over and help me christen it.”
“I’m sorry. That sounds like it would be fun.” Her voice was quiet, which made me wonder if she had a roommate she was trying not to wake.
“If you come over, it would prove my sister right,” I said.
“About what?”
“My love life would improve.”
“Love life?”
Ah shit, maybe I shouldn’t have said love. “You know. My time with the ladies.”
“Ladies?”
“You, Serena. Maybe I’d get more time with you.”
There was a pause from her end that had my gut clenching in that way it always did when I felt like she was putting up a well.
“I wouldn’t mind that,” she finally said.
“By the way, I set them all straight about Evie. I even told them I was interested in someone.”
“Oh?” Her voice pitched up slightly, making me wonder if she was nervous about my mother knowing about her. Considering she knew my mother was a snob, I supposed I couldn’t blame her. “What did they say to that?”
“Bri guessed it was you, but I told her it wasn’t so it wouldn’t get back to your job.”
“Thank you.”
“My mother wanted to know who you were too, but I didn’t say anything. You know, if I were forty, I could see all their concern about me getting married, but I’m not even thirty.”
She sighed. “I think it’s in parents DNA to want their kids married.”
“So your parents do it to you?”
“Yes.”
>
“Well, I’m not sure I’ll ever get married, which will make my mother batshit crazy.” There was perverse joy in that idea.
“Really. You don’t see yourself ever getting married?”
I couldn’t read her tone. Was it a good thing or a bad thing that I wasn’t sure I wanted to tie myself down?
“I don’t know. What I’m taught about marriage doesn’t make it appealing. I mean, my mom wants me to marry a woman simply because her family is old money. Love isn’t a factor.”
“So you’d marry for love?”
“Maybe. I don’t really see the purpose of it. I mean, marriage started as a business deal right? Father’s married off their daughters for money and title.”
“What about children?”
“I’m pretty sure that’s not in the cards for me.”
Again, there was a pause on the line. “You don’t like kids?”
“I like kids, I just don’t see myself having them. I certainly don’t want to have them simply to carry on the Roarke family name and business. Besides, I’m not sure I’m dad material.”
“Why not?”
“I’m too selfish, I suppose. Raising kids, done right, takes time.”
“Maybe your feelings would change if you had one.”
Was she talking me into having kids? That didn’t make sense because I could hardly talk her into dating me. Clearly she wasn’t eyeing me as long-term material.
“Maybe, but what if I had them and my feelings didn’t change? It wouldn’t be fair to some kid to have a dad like that.”
I suppose it was unusual to not want marriage or kids. Perhaps she’d think there was something wrong with me that I was concerned I wouldn’t love them the way I should. It was yet another reason that perhaps I should move on from Serena.
15
Serena
What was Devin wanting with me if he was never going to marry or have kids? Was it just a continuation from before? A fling with the girl from the wrong side of the socioeconomic tracks?
I suppose I should be glad that he saw this thing between us as not something that could develop into a committed relationship. After all, I couldn’t marry him and keep Andrew a secret. He couldn’t marry me and keep me a secret from his mother. On the other hand, I was sad, and yes, a little hurt, that he didn’t think I was marriage material.
An Irish Affair Page 11
