by Sarah Bale
Prick.
I lift my phone and dial Razor.
“Saint. Is everything okay?”
“Liv knows about the fire.”
He curses. “Who told her?”
“Her therapist. Can you bring me some clothes? I don’t want her to see me like this.”
Because I know my girl – when she finds out I’m in the hospital, she’ll find a way to see me, come hell or high water.
“Yeah. I’ll see what I can do.” He pauses. “We found it.”
My chest tightens. “And?”
“It’s damaged, but I think it’s salvageable.”
My eyes burn with tears that I blink away. “Thank you.”
“I’ll be up there in a few. Is King awake?”
This makes my chest hurt for a different reason.
“No.”
“I’ll bring him some clothes, too. Just in case.”
I’m worried about King. He was hurt. Badly. As much as I don’t want to believe it, deep down I know he might not make it out of this hospital alive. I failed him as a leader, but, more importantly, I failed him as a friend.
“See you soon. And Razor. Thank you.”
I end the call and lay back, letting the pain meds do their job. One thing is clear – when I get out of here, I’m going to find Olivia’s father and kill the motherfucker.
2
Razor
Saint looks better tonight, but not by much. His face is starting to scab over, and the gash on his cheek is red and angry. I set the plastic bag with his clothes on the foot of the bed.
“I bought you some jeans, a few t-shirts, some boxers, socks, new boots, and a pair of sweats. Had to guess on the sizes.”
Mama Bear was the one who shopped for everyone. Now that she’s gone, guess we’re going to have to appoint someone else to do the shopping because I have no idea what in the hell I’m doing.
“Thanks, man.” He reaches for the sack and winces.
“How’s your back?”
“I’ll live.”
He’s a fucking bad liar.
“Did anyone ever find the Prospect— Josh?”
I shake my head. “Agent Hill thinks they’ll find his remains during the investigation.”
If they’re lucky. The fire was hot enough that some of the metal support beams melted. I can’t even imagine what that kind of heat can do to a body.
Saint lies back, closing his eyes. “I’d be dead if it wasn’t for him.”
I know. I still remember the kid’s screams as he pulled Saint from the building. When we realized King wasn’t outside with the rest of us, he ran back in before we could stop him. It was the last time we saw him. That kid is a damn hero in my book.
I clear my throat. “He had a wife who’s pregnant. I reached out, letting her know that the club will be there to help in any way.”
There are things that you can never be prepared for in life. Telling a young woman that her husband is dead is one of those things. I don’t think she heard much after I told her he was gone. She had a sister or cousin with her who took the phone. I reiterated my message - we’ll be there to help in any way we can. It’s the least we can do.
“Good.”
I really don’t want to add to his plate right now, especially when he looks like he’s about to pass out, but I can’t wait any longer.
“Saint, I hate to bring this up, but we have a problem.”
His eyes open. “What is it?”
“Bash’s phone is off.”
“Fuck. Any idea where he is?”
“The last time I heard from him, he was in Nevada, in the desert.”
Which is the last place you want to be without a phone. I’ve known Bash for a while – his cell isn’t off by chance. He either turned it off or someone did it for him. Neither are good, for very different reasons. If someone has him, he’s dead. If he turned it off on his own, he might still be dead. He wasn’t in a good place when he left. I shouldn’t have let him go alone, but he said I was needed here, to protect Liv.
Saint says, “See if you can hack his phone. Maybe the GPS will ping.”
“I’ll do my best.”
It’s not going to be easy, though. I lost everything I owned in the fire. Getting it all back is going to take time. Luckily, I had moved some of my equipment to Bash’s place at the lake. It made sense while we were remodeling to have my things there, so I didn’t have to rush to the clubhouse when I was needed. Now, I wished I’d moved more stuff.
Crow, the Prez of the Inferno Bastards MC, offered us help. I might have to take him up on it. Besides, he owes us after the whole mess with Maniac trying to fuck over our club. Their technology isn’t as good as mine was, but it’s better than nothing.
Saint asks, “Did you visit King?”
“They wouldn’t let me in because he’s in the ICU. Family only.”
The nurse looked like there was something she couldn’t say, which worries the hell out of me, and I’m not charming enough to get the truth out of her. That was always King or Saint’s area of expertise.
Saint shakes his head. “I didn’t know he was in his room that night. I thought he was out with the boys. If I had known, I would have made sure he got out when I did.”
“This isn’t your fault.”
“It is.”
The guilt is eating him up. Hell, I suppose I’d feel the same way if it were me.
“How in the fuck were you supposed to know the clubhouse was going to go up in flames?”
“I should have prepared everyone.”
“Saint, listen to yourself. We were going to have Church the next night. It’s not like we weren’t trying.” I sigh. “I think you’re being too hard on yourself.”
“There are men who are dead because of me. Until you have that stain on your soul, I don’t give a shit what you think.”
There’s a knock on the door and an older woman peeks in. “Everything okay in here? We heard loud voices at the nurse’s station.”
Saint speaks through gritted teeth. “Everything is fine.”
She looks at her watch. “Visiting hours are almost over. And your dinner tray should be here shortly.”
“Thanks. Did you ask them for-”
“Extra chocolate pudding? Of course I did.”
Saint cracks a small smile. “Thank you.”
She gives me a stern look before closing the door.
“She seems like a beast.”
“She’s the only one willing to put up with my cranky ass.”
That makes me snort. “Then she must be a saint.”
“Something like that.” He sighs. “I know the fire isn’t my fault, but I should have made sure we were safe. As soon as we knew Liv’s father was alive, we should have been ready.”
“The building was old. We all knew there were repairs that needed to be made. Speaking of, the security system I ordered for the new clubhouse came in. I’ll have it up and running by the end of the week.”
“Good.”
“Have you heard from Liv?”
“Agent Hill hasn’t texted yet, so she must still be in with her therapist.”
“I’m glad they’re letting her go to the appointments.”
He nods. “Agent Hill is worried about her. Says she looks like she’s hiding something.”
I look up at this. “We shouldn’t have told her what Bash did to the kid.”
“She had a right to know. The other prick ought to be glad he didn’t play a bigger part in it, or he’d be dead, too.”
Liv begged us not to kill him – Chase. Said she couldn’t live with herself if he died. None of us could handle the look of anguish on her face. I think we made a mistake, though. My motto’s always been no loose ends. And that fucker is a walking loose end.
“She’s not cut from the same cloth as us. I worry what this will do to her. Hell, look at what it did to Bash.”
Saint looks me straight in the eyes. “Razor, I don’t think this is about what Bash
did to that fucker. We all know Liv has a past.”
“And?”
“And I think the look in her eyes has something to do with her father and what he did to her.”
“She’s never said-”
It hits me like a fucking punch to the gut. She did tell me, though. When she told me about the miscarriage. I just didn’t fucking know she was talking about her fucking father.
Saint says, “She’s tougher than you give her credit for. And that cloth, well, I think she’s cut from the same one we are.”
Olivia
When I get into Agent Hill’s car, he sighs. Loudly. I’m fired up, though, so he’d better watch out.
“She wasn’t supposed to tell you.”
“I’m glad someone did. Was anyone hurt?”
“There were…injuries.”
“Who was hurt?”
“Olivia, this is-”
“Agent Hill, I’ve been told I can be stubborn. You might want to save yourself some time and energy and just tell me what I want to know.”
“Fine. Saint and King were injured. They’re in the hospital.”
“How bad?”
“Oli-”
“How. Bad.”
“King is in the ICU in a medically induced coma. He kept fighting the ventilator, and his physician felt this was the only way to keep him alive. Saint has substantial burns on his body, but is doing well from what I’ve heard.”
I sit back. Fuck. This is my father’s doing. He almost killed them. I blink back tears. And no one freaking told me.
“I want to see them.”
“Olivia, visiting hours are almost over. We won’t get there in time.”
“I just told you I can be stubborn. Now, are we going there, or do I need to plan on sneaking out later when the cops sitting in front of my place aren’t looking?”
We both know I’m not kidding.
“I think this is a bad idea,” he says, putting the car into gear.
“My father’s not going to try anything there. It’s too public.”
“Fine. But I’m going up with you.”
“Okay. Let’s go.”
I can barely contain myself as we drive across town to the hospital. I’m going to get to see them!
And then Agent Hill has to go and kill my mood by saying, “I’ve seen this place too much in the last few months.”
I know how he’s feeling, but don’t comment. If I show one ounce of fear, he might try to use it against me and say we should just leave. Even though I’m terrified to be here, I don’t want to go home without seeing them.
“Come on. I don’t want to miss visiting hours.”
We get out of the car and walk toward the hospital. Agent Hill looks around as we walk, making me nervous as hell. It’s daytime – surely my father wouldn’t be crazy enough to try something right now. I let out a small sigh of relief when we finally make it to the sliding doors.
“Do you know what room he’s in?”
Agent Hill nods. “Yes.”
Of course he does. We walk to the elevator and get inside. He presses the button for the fifth floor.
“I hate coming here,” I admit. “I think it’s the smell. It reminds me of-”
I don’t finish my sentence, because we both know what I was going to say. It reminds me of when I was sixteen and almost died at this hospital. Well, not almost. Technically, I was dead until the ER staff brought me back to life. But, the antiseptic scent mixed with hints of lemon and pine is forever burned into my brain as something negative. Bad things happen here, and there’s no stopping it. People die. Not everyone has the luxury of being brought back. King’s in the ICU, which isn’t good. Will King die?
The doors open and we step out. My hands sweat, and I rub them against my shorts. Why am I so nervous?
A nurse at the desk smiles when she sees us. “Agent Hill. Always good to see you.”
“You, too. How are the kids?”
“Growing like weeds.”
“We’re here to see Mr. Massacre.”
She rolls her eyes. “Hopefully someone can put him in a better mood. He’s scaring off my staff.”
I grin. That sounds like Saint.
Agent Hill says, “We’ll only be in there for a few minutes.”
She waves her hand as we pass.
“Why only a few minutes?”
He doesn’t answer, which worries me. What if Saint is worse off than he’s saying?
Agent Hill stops. “I’ll stay out here while you visit with him.”
I knock on the door before opening it. The lights are dimmed, and the TV is on, recapping the news. It all seems so normal. And then I see Saint. He’s on the bed, leaned back with his eyes closed. He’s wearing grey sweatpants and a t-shirt. I’m relieved. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but he doesn’t look too bad. Until he moves and I see his face. There’s a gash across his cheek that is red and angry looking. A white bandage peeks from his shirt making me think he’s more injured than he appears.
“He just fell asleep,” Razor whispers from the side of the bed. “I think putting on clothes was too much for him.”
I move closer and throw myself into Razor’s waiting arms.
“I’ve missed you so much.”
He hugs me back. “I’ve missed you, too.”
“Have you seen King? Or heard from Bash? And why didn’t anyone tell me there was a fire?”
He chuckles softly. “One at a time. King can’t have visitors right now.”
“Is he okay? Agent Hill said he was in a coma.”
His eyebrows lift. “I didn’t even know that much, to tell you the truth. None of us are family, so we can’t see him. I’m glad to know the Feds are keeping an eye on him.”
“Maybe Agent Hill can pull some strings?”
“Maybe.” He hedges. “Liv, King was hurt pretty bad. We didn’t know he was in the clubhouse.”
My eyes water, and I blink back the tears trying to escape. “How did he get out?”
“He managed to get out on his own.”
The grim look on his face isn’t very reassuring.
“And Bash?”
“His phone is off, but I’m guessing you already know that.”
I nod. “I tried calling him last night. It went right to voicemail. That’s bad, isn’t it?”
“It’s not good.”
“And the fire?”
“You know why we didn’t tell you. We don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“I hate to tell you this, but something already did happen to me, and I’m not just talking about the photos.” I pause. “Razor, you’re making a mistake by keeping me away from you.”
“No, we’re not,” Saint rasps out.
I pull from Razor’s arms and go to Saint’s side.
“Saint-”
“Liv, we have to do whatever it takes to keep you safe. Right now, that means letting Agent Hill watch over you.”
I take his hand into mine.
“I’m safe with you, King, Bash, and Razor.”
He shakes his head. “No. You’re not.”
“Saint-”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
He grimaces, as if he’s in pain, making me feel like a huge bitch. A nurse comes in at that moment.
“I have your tray, Mr. Massacre.” When she sees Saint, she puts the tray on the bedside table and goes to his side. “Who gave you permission to put clothes on? Didn’t the physician tell you that it’s dangerous to wear clothing until your back heals?”
Saint mumbles something that sounds like yes, ma’am, and the nurse sighs.
“Visiting hours are over. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
Razor stands, holding out his hand. “Come on, Liv. Let’s let Saint rest.”
I look at Saint, hoping he’ll ask me to stay. When he doesn’t, I take Razor’s hand.
“See you later, Saint.”
He doesn’t even look at me as I walk away. I try not to let
it hurt, but who am I kidding? It hurts like hell.
3
Olivia
Razor follows me into the hallway. I wish I had time to compose myself, but, as always, Agent Hill is there, waiting.
He asks, “How was he?”
I try to smile. “Fine.”
Razor says, “Don’t try to sugar coat it. He’s being a dick.”
Agent Hill nods. “That’s what I’ve been hearing.”
“Agent Hill, can I steal Liv away for a few? I need to talk to her about something.”
“Of course. There’s a consult room at the end of the hallway. You won’t be bothered.”
Razor takes my hand, leading me down the hall. The room is small, with two plastic chairs and a cheap looking desk. On top of the desk is a Bible and a box of tissues. Razor closes the door behind us, and I let out a small laugh.
“Guess this is where people go to get the really bad news.”
Which is kind of how I’m feeling right now. Is he going to break up with me again?
“Maybe for some, but that’s not why I wanted to bring you in here.”
“It’s not?”
He cups my face with his hands, brushing his lips across mine.
“No. It’s not.”
“Oh.”
I’m sure the grin on my face is goofy as hell, but I don’t care.
“I was afraid you were going to suggest breaking up or something.”
“Never. You’re stuck with me.”
He moves even closer and pulls me into his arms, holding me tight. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed feeling safe in his strong arms. I’ve missed the scent of dirt and grease that clings to his skin.
“Razor, don’t ever let me go,” I whisper.
“Not on your life, Liv. I’ve missed the hell out of you, but it’s not safe for us to be together. Not yet. I need you to know that.”
I look up at him. The love reflecting in his eyes takes my breath away.
“I think I’d like another kiss. You know, to remind me how much you love me.”
A grin spreads across his face. “I can do that.”
His lips brush against mine in a kiss that starts out innocent, but soon turns into something more. Razor and I have always had a special bond. Our bodies take over and we both just feel. Now is no exception. He holds me in his strong arms as he kisses me, his tongue dancing with mine. My heart is beating erratically. Fuck. I didn’t know how much I needed him until now.
