by Sarah Bale
“I think you should sit.”
He nods and follows me into the tiny living room. He’s so big that he takes up most of the love seat. That doesn’t stop me from perching next to him.
There are a million things I want to ask, but I don’t because I don’t want him to lie to me. Instead, I lean my head on his shoulder.
“I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
“I didn’t know you were getting out of the hospital today.”
He shifts. “I left against medical advice.”
“Saint!”
“Razor left this morning. He got a lead on Bash.”
My chest tightens. “It’s bad, isn’t it?”
“Bash was in an accident. Left to die in the desert.”
“No!”
“They took his phone and ID. Burned his bike.” He looks me straight in the eyes. “The last text you got from him, well, I don’t think it was really from him.”
That was over a month ago. Has he been out there all this time or did this just happen? There are so many questions, but it all comes down to one.
“My father?”
“I think so. When he finds out Bash didn’t die, I suspect he’s going to make another move.”
I think he’s right.
“Has anyone talked to Bash?”
“No…”
“Why not?”
“He won’t let anyone near him. Says he deserves to die.” He sighs. “Liv, he’s still not himself, but I think he’ll come home. He knows what’s at stake.”
My heart thuds in my chest. Not himself? What does that mean?
“Does Agent Hill know?”
“Yes.”
I nod, looking down. “Oh. Good.”
He puts his hand on my leg. “I promise nothing will happen to you.”
Call me a bitch, but I hate when people make promises like that. I’ve lived through some shit – shit that is headed my way again – so I know firsthand that promises and good intent don’t mean anything. Not when you’re dealing with a monster.
“Agent Hill said they’re close to finding me a safe house.”
He’s the one who looks shocked now. “I didn’t know he was working on it.”
“I didn’t either. It’s the same deal Jas got. If I take it, Olivia Mayhem will go away and I’ll become someone else far from here, where my father can’t get to me.”
When Agent Hill told me this news, I was surprised. The thing that scares me the most is that I actually considered it. I’d go away from Savannah, and even get a makeover to ensure I didn’t look the same. He mentioned there were some spots available internationally. I can almost picture me, with dark hair, walking down the streets of a small town far, far from here. How freeing would it be to not have to worry anymore?
But when I think about what kind of life I would really have, I know I can’t go. I’ve managed to find four men whom I love. I know that’s all fate has in store for me. If I leave, I’ll be safe, but I’ll be alone. So, I told Agent Hill that as much as I appreciated the offer, I was going to stay. He told me to think on it, but I know I won’t change my mind.
Saint asks, “Are you going to do it?”
“I’m not going to lie – there’s a part of me that wants to.”
“That’s understandable.”
“But I won’t because I can’t leave you, King, Razor, and Bash behind.”
“Liv-”
“Don’t Liv me, Saint. I mean it. What kind of life would I have out there without you in it?”
“It would be a fresh start. Hell, you would get to do things with people your age and wouldn’t have to look over your shoulder.”
“I haven’t been looking over my shoulder. I thought he was dead. The way I lived, well, that is a result of my childhood. I don’t think changing my name and moving away from the ones I love will change that.”
I’m fired up. He shouldn’t want me to go. He should be telling me how much he needs me to stay.
I stand, needing to move.
“I don’t think leaving and starting over will change anything. He’s going to find me, and I’d rather get it over now so I can kill him.”
I clamp my lips shut as soon as I say it.
Holy fuck. That’s how this has to end. It’s the only way it can.
Saint stands, too. “Liv, I’ll kill him for you. I won’t let you have that hanging over your head for the rest of your life.”
“Because you’ve killed before?”
“Because I love you.”
A whimper escapes me as he pulls me into his arms, holding me close against his strong body.
“I love you so much that it’s a weakness, Liv. You are the one thing that others can use to hurt me. I won’t stand for it. So I’ll kill any fucker who tries to harm you.”
I close my eyes, trying to block out the darkness that haunts me.
“Saint, you don’t know how cruel he is. What he’s capable of.” What he did to me-
“Did I ever tell you why my biker name is Saint?”
“I assumed it was because your real name is Saint?”
His lips lift in a half smile. “They call me Saint because every motherfucker I’ve ever killed has begged for God as they die. Dying at my hand, well, it’s a religious experience.”
The light glints in his eyes, and, for a moment, I get a glimpse of the killer inside. And it makes me love him even more.
“We’re going to get through this, Olivia.”
“Together?”
He nods. “Together.”
He shifts and lets out a soft groan.
“Saint, come sit with me. I don’t want you to pass out.”
I think he’s going to object, but he goes back to the loveseat.
“Damn. Is this what it’s like being protected by the Feds?”
I grin. “Only the best.”
I don’t mention that Agent Hill told me to be prepared to run at any time. That’s why most of my belongings are in storage right now. I have a single bag with clothes, my laptop, and my cellphone. All things I can grab and run with, if needed.
“What are you watching?”
“Steel Magnolias. Ever see it?”
He makes a face. “No.”
“Be prepared to cry,” I say, as I hit play.
I settle next to him on the loveseat. It’s a tight fit, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
At some point we must have dozed off because Saint lets out a groan that wakes me. His head is leaned back against the wall and he looks uncomfortable as hell.
“Saint. Come on. Let’s go to bed.”
His eyes barely open, but he stands and follows me down the narrow hallway to my room. The bed is only a double, so it’s going to be snug. He pulls his t-shirt over his head, tossing it on the floor. When I see his back, I bite back a gasp. His skin is red and angry, scabbing in places.
“You shouldn’t have left the hospital.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Saint-”
“Do I need to prove it to you, Liv?”
His eyes gleam in the moonlight and my stomach quivers. As much as I’m worried for him, I’ve also missed him and the way I feel when we make love.
“Maybe.”
“Thought so. Get on the bed.”
I’m selfish for even wanting this, but I pull my tank top and shorts off, climbing onto the bed totally naked. He stands over me, looking powerful and sexy as hell.
“Do you want it rough or sweet?”
His words already have me wet and he hasn’t even touched me yet.
“Do I have to pick one?”
“For now, yes.”
“Rough.”
“Good girl.”
He pulls his belt from his jeans, holding it in one hand. I’m practically panting now.
“Get on your hands and knees. Face away from me.”
I scramble to do as he says. My heart is pounding, but not out of fear - I’m fuckin
g excited as hell.
“You seem to forget who’s in charge, Liv. You’ve questioned me twice tonight.” His tone has me vibrating.
I glance over my shoulder. “Sorry. Daddy.”
His eyes flash fire at my sass, but he purrs, “So now I have to punish my little girl. I’m going to spank you four times, and you’re going to count them. Do you understand.”
God, I’m nearly shaking from need.
Somehow, I manage to mutter out, “Yes, Daddy.”
He lifts the belt and I tense up, waiting for the first strike. The leather bites into my ass cheek, making me gasp, but then Saint rubs away the sting.
“One.”
“Good girl.”
The second strike lands on the other ass cheek. Air hisses through my teeth, but it also feels. So. Good.
“Two.”
“Spread your legs.”
I’m about to come and he hasn’t even done anything. I spread my legs, knowing what’s about to happen. The third one slaps across my pussy, making me moan loudly.
When he rubs the sting away, he lets out a deep laugh. “You’re fucking drenched. Fucking beautiful sight.”
“Saint,” I plead. “I need you.”
He makes a tsk-ing sound. “You didn’t count that one, and we’re not done.”
“Three.”
“Good girl. Now, where should I do the last one? Here?” He runs his finger through my folds. “Or here.” He touches my ass cheek.
“First one.”
“Hold still.”
I couldn’t move even if he asked me. Not right now. Not when I need this so fucking bad. I feel feverish as a I wait for him. My nipples are so hard that they ache. It’s not as bad as the throbbing between my legs, though. I’m hot all over and I just need… something.
I hear the belt whistling through the air right before it makes contact with my pussy. I cry out Saint’s name as I shatter. It’s one of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had in my fucking life. It feels so good, and I ride wave after wave of pleasure.
When I finally open my eyes, Saint is at the head of the bed watching me with an intense look on his face.
“Four,” I croak out.
“You are so fucking amazing.”
I fall to my side, still a puddle of jelly. “No, you are.”
“Think you can handle more?”
“As long as I can lie here, I think so.”
“I think I can help you in that area.”
His chuckle sends goosebumps across my skin. I watch with hooded eyes as he takes off his boots, jeans, and boxers. The bed dips and I get a whiff of his spicy scent that can’t be found in a bottle. When he settles over me, I lean up and kiss him.
“I’ve missed you, Saint.”
“Me, too, darlin’. More than you know.”
He moves and his cock brushes against my thigh. I bite back a moan as he positions himself at my opening.
“Fuck. Your greedy pussy is practically pulling me in.”
He rubs the tip of his cock through my lips, coating it with my arousal. I moan, needing more. When he slides into me, I actually cry a little. Fuck! It’s been so long since we’ve been together and he’s so big. The look on his face is beautiful as he finds his pleasure in my body. I try like hell not to hold onto him, because I don’t want to hurt him, but it’s damn near impossible. I grip the sheets instead, holding onto them like they’re a lifeline.
His pace picks up and I feel another orgasm building. Saint knows how to work my body and I shatter, screaming out his name. But he’s not done. The devilish glint in his eyes lets me know he’s made it his own personal mission to make me come more than once. To prove my point, he reaches between us, rubbing my clit. It’s so sensitive that it almost hurts, but he manages to work another orgasm out of me.
“Saint,” I moan.
His hot mouth latches on my nipple, sucking and nipping until I’m screaming again.
“That’s right, baby girl. Let them know what your Daddy is doing to you.”
His words send me over the edge, and I come so hard that I see white stars behind my eyes.
“Fuck,” he roars. “I’m coming.”
I hold onto his shoulders and we thrust blindly against each other. He manages to work one last orgasm out of me, though, at this point, I’m feeling so good that I barely notice. He falls on top of me and I can feel his heart pounding against his chest. It matches what mine is doing.
I push his damp hair from his face and caress his cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, darlin’. So much.”
We lie there, still connected, as we both come down from our sex high. It’s strange how in the moment we say and do things that we wouldn’t normally. Like calling him Daddy. When I think about saying it now, it makes me cringe.
He notices and asks, “What’s that frown for?”
I look up at him, debating if I should even mention it. Will it be too weird?
He rolls off me, as if he senses that I need space, but still holds me in his arms. “Liv?”
“Does it bother you when I call you Daddy during sex?”
My face is on fire, and I can barely look at him.
“Does it bother you?”
“You can’t answer my question with another question, Saint.”
“It doesn’t bother me, especially since talking to Dr. Cross about it.”
Great. Now I’ve gone from somewhat embarrassed to fucking mortified. She knows about my past. What if she said something to him?
“When did you talk to her”
“While Agent Hill was looking after you. Had five sessions before the clubhouse went up in flames.” He smiles. “I saw how much she was helping you and wanted to see she could do the same for me.”
“And?”
“And I love you. I didn’t need a doctor to tell me that. She has helped me with other aspects of my life, though. Things I thought I was handling, which, come to find, out, I wasn’t.”
“Saint, I love you, too, but-”
“To answer your question, I like the way I feel when you call me Daddy. In the literal sense, it’s so very wrong, which is why I think it was bothering me so much. So, I mentioned it to Dr. Cross.”
Oh. Wow.
“What did she say?”
“She explained how it’s not a sign that I’m fucked up in the head, but merely a form of sexual dominance. I like being in charge and taking care of you. You need someone who can take care of you. That carries over in the bedroom in those terms. Makes perfect sense to me.”
I hate how well it does describe me. I’ve pushed people away for so long that I didn’t even realize how much I needed someone to take care of me.
“Did she say anything about me?”
His eyes soften. “No.”
“I just…I don’t want you to think I’m the fucked up one for calling you Daddy.”
“I don’t think that. I never did. I call you darlin’ and my little girl. To me, it’s the same difference.”
“It’s not the same, though.”
“Sure it is.” He shifts. “I’m always going to be your Daddy in the bedroom, Olivia. I’ll always be here to make sure you’re safe and taken care of. Do you know why?”
I shake my head as the last of my post-coitus buzz goes away.
“Because that’s what you do when you love someone.”
It’s too much to take right now. I don’t deserve this, and when he finds out why-
I cry out, pulling away from Saint.
“Darlin’, you have to talk to me. What did I do?”
“You can’t say things like that.”
“Like what?”
“I’m fucked up, Saint. I don’t deserve the things you’re promising.” My voice breaks. “You make me want things I shouldn’t.”
His eyes soften. “Liv.”
“I mean it.”
He takes my hands into his.
“Liv. You do deserve those things. All of them. I me
ant what I said. I’m here to take care of you. I’m here to make sure you get everything you’ve ever wanted. Even things you didn’t think were possible.”
When he says things like that, I want it all.
Like a family.
The thought breaks my heart because he’s right. I do want it all.
“There are things you don’t know about me. About my past.”
“Liv, everyone has a past. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. Things that I don’t want you to know.”
“It’s not the same.”
My eyes water again, and I push away from him.
“Saint, there’s a very big conversation that we need to have, but I want King, Razor, and Bash here.”
“Liv-”
“What if my father finds out he didn’t die and gets to him?”
“He won’t.”
He doesn’t know that for sure, though. There’s no way he could.
“Razor should be there soon. He’ll let us know when he hears something.”
I close my eyes and let Saint hold me. Because that’s all I can do right now. Wait.
6
Razor
Sand, rocks, and cacti stretch as far as I can see. There’s no way I’d ever be able to find Bash if I was out here on my own. Luckily, Saint called in a favor with the Nevada Devil’s Regents Chapter, so I’m standing in the desert with their Prez, Grunge. He’s a mean motherfucker, but I’ve never had an issue with him. I know others can’t say the same.
I squint, looking across the desert. “You sure he’s out there?”
“I’m sure.”
“And he won’t let anyone near him?”
Hawk, one of the men with us, lets out a small laugh. “Says he’s going to die out there and leave him be. My guys have been keeping an eye on him. He’s not getting any worse, but he’s not getting any better, either.”
“Is his bike out there, too?”
The bike is how we knew where he was. Someone called in a tip, saying they’d seen the bike on the road right before an explosion. Considering what happened to our clubhouse, it stands to reason that Olivia’s father got to Bash as well. The amazing thing is that he’s managed to stay alive.
Grunge says, “Come on. It’s going to be hotter than shit today and I’ve got a bitch waiting for me at the clubhouse.”
That’s one thing Grunge never messes around with – a chance to dip his dick in pussy.
