All blood had left her face. She stood before him in pale beauty, holding her right hand on a spruce trunk, for it seemed to her that she had to fall over.
“I can only regret,” he continued, tossing away the cigar, “that my sight has inspired you with such horror. But take it! “He stepped toward her as if to support her.
She made a defensive gesture and said in a trembling voice: “Forgive me, I was so unprepared that anyone -”
“Sit here?” He replied with mild irony. “Do you feel so secure in this loneliness? This may well have been the case in the past - but now there may be people waiting for you. For example me. I did it yesterday - and today I walk around the park for an hour.”
“I did not notice you.”
“I know that. They sat so deep in thought down there in front of the little house. Also, I have kept pretty covered and am very quiet occurred. - But you were sure to settle here now? “He added, pointing an inviting hand at the bank.
“Oh no,” she replied quickly. “I did not think of lingering here - it was a mere coincidence that I - -”
“Chance is nothing but a mysterious necessity,” he said. “I did not want to disturb you earlier; but when, having continued on my way, I had discovered this place, I thought how nice it would be if you came here. And so it was my vivacious desire that led you to it, without your wishing. “He had leaned slightly towards her at these words, and was staring at her with his dark eyes.
She did not know what to say, and only felt a hot glow rising in her face.
“Yes,” he continued, muffling his voice to a flattering whisper, “yes, beautiful Chatelaine, I have not only yesterday and today - I have always thought of you since I first saw you. And even then I realized that we would find each other.”
She was gasping for breath. There it was, he had uttered what she suspected, what she feared! And she - oh god! She stood there, perplexed, helpless, and found no word of reply, of rebuke. What could - what did he have to think of her?
“And is not it?” He added. “We have found each other - will find each other again.”
At these words, with his annoying but fine hand, on which a precious signet ring shone, he had grasped her quivering fingers and put an arm round her. She wanted to elude him, push him back - but she could not. Her knees staggered, her senses threatening to pass.
“Oh, you love me!” He whispered, trying to kiss her pale, averted mouth, “do not you love me?” And as she despairingly resisted, he continued, “Come, let us here stay at this dared, secretive place! “He sought to direct her by force to the resting place. “Nobody bothers us here - -”
These words brought her to her senses. For the thought of her husband had struck her like lightning. If he had come to the park by now - and was looking for her!
She made a violent effort to break loose from the Count's arms, which had pressed his lips into her hair; but he clung to her all the more. But when he saw in her face the expression of the terrible anxiety with which she strove away from the hill, he asked in a concerned voice, “Why do you want to flee? - Where do you want to go, Klothilde?”
She gestured in feeble distraction to the Tyrolean house.
“There?! Why?”
“I expect” That's all she could do.
“Whom? Who do you expect? “He urged, without letting her go completely. And when she did not answer, he added, “Your husband?”
She lowered her head affirmatively.
Now he released her slowly. “That's fatal, of course,” he said with suppressed annoyance. “He must not find us together. Least of all here. But I'm coming tomorrow - come back every day. At the same hour -”
She did not hear him anymore. She brushed her hair with both hands and staggered down the hill.
But he stood upright for a while, gazing moodily out into the area. Then he shook his head and walked away with careful steps.
VI.
When Klothilde arrived, unknowingly, at the Tirolerhaus, she sank down on the bench beside the door, and stared straight ahead, blank and expressionless. What had happened? She had to think of it for the first time-and now, with a groaning sound, she clapped her hands to her face. “My God! My God! “What she knew, what she was shaking from, had arrived. Arrived the moment she believed herself already saved and safe! Completely it had suddenly, without resistance from her side! Undying, she had lain in the earl's arms-and only a hair's breadth had separated her from the abyss into which she would have been impregnable as an adulteress! And was not she already? Another, as her husband, had drawn her to him, had it - she shuddered - youcalled, had pressed her head with burning lips once. How should she now confront the Freiherr - desecrated, branded! And not the covetous man with the dark eyes was to blame for all this - no, only she, she alone in her horrible weakness and helplessness! Any other woman in her place and under such circumstances would have dismissed the tempter - at least to have pushed him back to the bills! And she- she had not even found a word of rebuke, let alone a commanding one of defense. And if he approached her again tomorrow, she would certainly lack strength again! Oh, what woman was she? What a contemptible creature! What an outrageously cowardly, pathetic nature! Not worth shining on the sun, whose golden lights glittered and sparkled in the meadow in front of her!
She jumped up and hurried up to the room. There she quickly closed the door open to the outer corridor, closed all the shutters. Now it was dark around her; only the objects, the sight of which made them so happy an hour earlier, dawned in spooky outlines. Even the she could not bear; she dropped to the hard seat against the wall and closed her eyes. Now it was dark and quiet as in the grave. Oh, she would be in it!
But were not kicks coming up from below now? Do not you already sound on the stairs? That was her husband! Her heart was still - but not as quiet as she would have liked.
The Freiherr had pressed lightly on the latch and asked in a half voice through the column: “Are you here, Klothilde?”
She did not move.
Now he had the door completely open and saw by the light that fell from outside, as she sat stretched out long, deathly pale, with head dipped back.
“Klothilde!” He shouted, hurrying to her. “What is yours? My God, what happened -?”
She still did not make a sound.
He touched her forehead and took her cold, lifeless hand. “Klothilda,” he repeated, most frightened, “what is the matter with you?”
“Do not question me,” she replied dully.
“What does that mean?” He urged, settling at her side. “Speak, speak - I beg you!”
She opened her eyes and stared, without looking at him, into space. “I'm lost,” she said.
“Lost ?!” he exclaimed. “Lost” he repeated flatly, suddenly a terrible, incomprehensible conjecture dawned in him.
“Yes,” she said.
It was as if he was in a fever and had a terrible dream-face. But no, it was reality - something terrible had happened. Whatever: above all clarity, complete certainty! He said softly, “Leave those enigmatic sayings, Klothilde. Tell me what happened. Do you hear, Klothilde? Trust me - me, your husband, who loves you - loves so unspeakably -”
At the sound of that voice, at the touch of his Hand stroking her temples and cheek with encouraging kisses, she felt such a tremendous pain that she wanted to break her breast. Finally she burst into a torrent of tears.
He let her cry. Then he brought his mouth close to her ear and said softly and in a whisper, “I want to come to your aid. Tell me: is your desperate state involved - with the -”
He did not complete; for a quick sob of Klothilden spoke clearly enough.
And now that he had the certainty of what it was, he began to search, gradually, with the utmost caution and delicacy. From the soft, barely suggestive questions he addressed to her, half words, suppressed gestures, convulsive crying, he learned what was happening-and breathed.
“Poor child!” He said after a pause, “poor child! - And do I
know everything now? “He added softly.
She affirmed with mute lowering of the head.
“Well then,” he continued, putting his hand on her head, “then be quiet. Because everything will be fine again.”
She half-rode up and looked at him with terrified surprise. “That's not possible,” she said flatly.
“Why not? Do you love him?”
“No!” She exclaimed, holding out her arms. “It was just weakness - horrible weakness.”
“Well,” he replied, gently pulling her close by, “if you do not love him, if you feel that your affection has remained the same for me, then everything is the same as before.”
She looked at him blankly. “It can not be like it used to be. For now you must despise me, despise me profoundly.”
“Disdain?” He said heartily. “No, I despise you not, I love you! And so it is my duty now to give you back to yourself. “He had risen at these words, and, staring straight ahead, strode up and down in the dimly lit room.
She followed him with his eyes. It was as if a ray of hope had shone in her troubled face. Suddenly she asked, trembling, “What do you want to do?”
“That's my business,” he replied firmly.
She jumped up. A terrible thought had caught her. It was obvious: he carried himself with a challenge to the count! So the men with the honor of their wives maintain their own! My God! He wanted to stand up for her with his life - for her, who did not feel worth living!
“No,” she cried, “you can not do that! You can not do it!”
He looked at her strangely; because he did not immediately understand what she wanted to say. Only the expression of nameless fear, with which she pleadingly extended his arms to him now, brought him to it.
“Do not worry,” he replied with a calm smile. “I did not fight with such weapons. - But take hold now, Klothilde. It's high time - we have to go back to the castle. Nobody can see you in such a state.”
She felt that he was right and that she owe him an outward attitude. Instinctively, she stepped in front of a small mirror hanging on the wall, arranged her hair, wet her tear-stained eyes from a glass half-filled with water next to the easel, and freshened her face.
He had approached her. “Good cheer, Klothilde,” he said, offering his arm. “Everything will soon be behind us like a bad dream.”
She tried a weak smile; then they went.
VII.
The Freiherr appeared today alone to table. “The Baroness is unwell,” he told the valet. He immediately put aside the second set-up, without worrying about it; for it was known to him that the mistress, albeit rarely, suffered all the more from migraine, and in such a case always withdrew altogether.
With the external peace of a world man who had learned and practiced every kind of self-restraint in life, the baron took the dinner, albeit more fleeting than usual, which could not be noticed, since he dined without company. But he breathed with relief when, finally, the valet placed the coffee-table with the little Chinese cup and the silver jug in front of him, and disappeared. Now, leaning back in the chair, he could completely abandon himself to his thoughts.
What had happened had not hit him quite unexpectedly. An anticipation of it had lain on him with dull pressure since that day on which he received the letter from the parish councilor. But, in the manner of experienced natures, he did not want to rush to uncertain things, not to speed things up; he later even avoided observing his wife, so that he would not be upset by premature perceptions. But now that everything had happened, still surprisingly enough, he immediately realized very clearly how clear and simple the matter was - and it was Klothilde alone that he immediately considered. He himself was out of the question; he was an old man whom only had met Klothildens hated. “Poor woman!” He whispered to himself. “What future are you facing!” But it was not the future that needed to be considered, only the present. And over that she had to be carried away under all circumstances!
When the valet returned, he said: “Today I would like to visit the Captain, since I did not meet him for the first time and left only one card. Inquire if he is at home. Let nothing be said of my intention; perhaps I remember differently.”
He soon received the message that the count was in his apartment. After remaining seated for a while, he went to his room to make a change in his suit. Then he grabbed his hat and walked slowly down the stairs.
It struck four o'clock as he strode across the yard to the office-house. On one of the stable benches he saw the count's groom sitting lazily leaning beside the sergeant, with whom he seemed to be in a conversation. As soon as the sergeant of the lord of the castle saw him, he got up and saluted; but the groom, a beardless, in the manner of such people haughty fellow, hesitated visibly; It was only when the baron came up to him that he got up quickly and brought out the stub of a Virginia cigar, which he chewed more than smoked.
The Freiherr said he wished to speak to the count; as he has heard, this is home.
“Yes,” replied the lad in hard-to-understand German; “But he sleeps. However, I have the order to wake him at four o'clock. It's about time now, “he continued with a glance at the clock,” and I'll sign up to the Herr Baron.”
“Do that,” replied the Baron, “I will wait here for the time being.” And he turned the direction of the Rondell in the middle of the yard, where he began to bypass the small pond.
It took a long time for the other man to come back with the message that Herr Graf asked to be seated for a while, saying he was about to appear.
The Freiherr now followed the groom, who evidently also provided the services of a servant, into the entrance hall, where it looked rather desolate. On a low barrier, beside a number of crops and riding-sticks, one could see the count's cap and gloves; two sabers, one heavier and one lighter, leaning against a corner, and on the table in front of the sofa lay a half-smoked chibuko with the remnants of a breakfast, which the lad quickly removed. Although there was a window open, there was a sharp smell of Turkish tobacco in the room, which was very uncomfortable for the Freiherr, who did not smoke himself. Through the closed door of the adjoining room sounded the angry, now and then imperiously soothed barking of a dog who scented the stranger;
At last the door opened, through the crack of which at once a yellow, monkey-like Pintscher rushed up to meet the Baron; he crawled under the sofa at a threatening call from his master, where he growled softly.
“I must apologize very much, Excellency,” said the count, closing his half-buttoned tunic, “I must apologize for keeping you waiting so long, but I was not at your visit prepared - - “His movements were hasty, uncertain and embarrassed.
“On the contrary, I beg you, Herr Graf, to apologize for having come to see you at such an inappropriate hour.”
“Oh, that's nothing to say,” the other interrupted, while both sat down. “We're doing bigger exercises now that are pretty tiring - and I slept there for an hour -.”
“Well, it was a disturbance after all - but I have an urgent message to make.”
“An urgent message? What kind, if I may ask?”
“May I perhaps allow myself to close that window?” Said the Baron, after a brief pause, as he started to rise.
“Oh, very much!” Exclaimed the count, jumping up courteously. “Excellency is probably afraid of the drafts?”
“No. I only fear that my communication might lead to discussions which would not be heard better in the court.”
The count jumped. He could hardly doubt what it would be; but now he had immediately won the most complete version. “His Excellency makes very strange arrangements,” he said shortly.
“They may be necessary. I would even like to ask you to check in the front door, if not someone -”
The count glared at him with his dark eyes. “What does this mean? I'm surrounded by no spies and I ask you to get down to business.”
“As you please. I never care to speak very loudly for my person - and actually it is only a reques
t that I will present to you. If you give her a grant, any further negotiation will be dropped by itself.”
“And what kind of a request would that be?” Asked the count, who had sat down again and now crossed his arms over his chest.
“That you want to leave this dwelling as soon as possible.”
“Mr. Baron!”
“Stay calm, Herr Graf,” said the baron gently. “Consider it really only as a request.” It sounded indeed a pleading tone through these words.
The other man frowned, eyebrows drawn. “And why are you making this request to me?”
“Out of consideration for my wife.”
A dark blush shot into the Count's face. “She told you?” He asked, half wondering, half dismissive.
“Yes, she told me.”
“Well, then!” Replied the count after a brief silence, while he bowed his head back haughtily. “If you have not come to demand an account from me, then everything else is of most indifference. Because you realize that your wife is safe from me - for sure!”
These words hit the baron like a whip, but he did not even flinch. “I understand that very well,” he said quietly. “But things are not that simple. What happened there, my wife has attacked in such a way that a permanent mental disorder is to be feared.”
“The baroness seems to have very weak nerves!” Exclaimed the count mockingly.
“Without doubt. And that is why you agree that under no condition shall I demand satisfaction from you. On the contrary, as far as my person is concerned, I have no weight whatsoever in it, and only to try to make my wife calm down. It must learn to forget - and above all, it is necessary that you are no longer here.”
“A most peculiar conception!”
“Certainly, this view is not an everyday occurrence. But however you may think, one thing you will realize, after careful consideration, is that under all circumstances you have a duty to undo what has happened.”
Short Stories From Austria- Ferdinand Von Saar Page 28
