by Adele Abbott
“Considering how much they charge for them, I should think so too.” Kathy shook her head. “You’d think for that kind of money they could have given them all different expressions too, but they all look the same. Anyway, come on, Jill, we’d better get going.”
“Hold on a minute, Kathy. Girls, do you think I could get a photo of your charm bracelets?”
“What do you want that for?” Kathy shot me a puzzled look. “You’re not thinking of buying one for Florence, are you?”
“No, I might get one for myself,” I lied. “I’m quite partial to an elf.”
The girls were only too keen to allow me to photograph their bracelets. I made sure to get a shot of each of the charms.
I thanked the girls, and then joined Kathy in the back seat of the car.
“Isn’t Pete coming?” Jack said.
“No, he has to work.” Kathy rolled her eyes.
“I wish I’d come up with that excuse,” I said.
“You’ll enjoy the play,” Kathy insisted.
“I very much doubt that.”
In common with every other amateur dramatic production I’d been pressganged into seeing, it was awful. The acting was abysmal, the scenery fell over twice, and the leading lady kept forgetting her lines and had to be prompted from the wings. The leading man, who had at least learned his part, had a dodgy false moustache and beard. There was something about him that looked familiar, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
The interval came as a blessed relief until I discovered there were no refreshments to be had.
“Surely, they could have at least provided ice cream,” I moaned.
“The freezer is on the blink, apparently,” Kathy said. “What do you think of the play so far? It’s good, isn’t it? Much better than last year’s.”
“Thank goodness I didn’t see last year’s, then.”
“Come on, Jill, it isn’t all that bad.”
“How much longer does it go on for?”
“Another hour, I would think.”
I turned to Jack. “If I fall asleep, give me a nudge, would you?”
With only ten long minutes to go, the play was building to its climax. The leading man and lady had just had a big argument after he’d told her he was leaving her for another woman. When she begged him to stay, he laughed in her face. Then, completely out of the blue, she produced a gun and shot him.
That’s when the penny dropped.
After the play had finished, I told Jack and Kathy that they should go home without me.
“Why?” Kathy said. “What are you going to do?”
“There’s something I need to do here.”
“Like what?”
“It has to do with work. I can’t explain now. Jack, I’ll see you later.”
Before they could ask any more awkward questions, I hurried around the back of the building to the stage door. I didn’t have long to wait before the leading man appeared, now minus his false beard and moustache. Moments later, just as I’d expected, the leading lady came out of the door and walked in the same direction. I followed her at a discreet distance until a few minutes later, she climbed into the passenger seat of a red Volvo. The driver, the leading man, leaned over and planted a kiss on her lips.
“Good evening, Mr Smart.” I knocked on the driver’s side window.
Clearly shocked, he lowered the window. “Who are you? What do you want?”
“Don’t you remember me?”
He studied my face for a moment, and then I saw the recognition dawn in his eyes. “You’re that fire prevention woman, aren’t you?”
“That’s me, but I don’t work for the fire service. I’m actually a private investigator.”
“Did my wife hire you to follow me?”
“Luckily for you, no. I was hired by a gentleman who lives on the other side of the park from you.”
“Why? What does he want from me? And why did you come to my house?”
“My client was looking through his binoculars recently when he saw someone being shot in the master bedroom of your house. If you recall, the police came to ask you about it, and you told them you didn’t know anything about it. But that’s not true, is it?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“It’s time to drop the pretence. The woman he saw in your bedroom was the lady by your side now. Your leading lady.”
“Alright, I admit it, but we were just practising our parts. No one was hurt.”
“That’s as maybe, but I’d bet my last penny that Mrs Smart doesn’t know about it.”
“Are you going to tell her?”
“That all depends.”
“On what?”
“My client has been made to feel very stupid. The police dismissed his claims as the rantings of a senile old man. So, here’s the deal. If you don’t want me to tell your wife about your lady friend, I’ll need both of you to pay a visit to my client. You’re going to tell him that he wasn’t mistaken in what he thought he saw. You can explain that you were rehearsing for the play.”
“What if he tells my wife?”
“He won’t. Provided you’re totally honest with him, you have nothing to fear. But rest assured, I’ll be checking in with him, and if you haven’t told him the truth within the next twenty-four hours, I definitely will go to your wife.”
I didn’t wait for their response, but I was confident that they’d do as I’d asked.
Chapter 21
The next morning, the three of us were at the breakfast table. Buddy, meanwhile, was in the corner of the room, sitting next to his empty bowl, looking daggers at me.
“Mummy.” Florence had milk dripping from the corner of her mouth.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full.”
“But you and Daddy do it.”
“Your daddy might, but I’m sure I don’t.”
“Yes, you do, Mummy. When you were talking to me yesterday, I could see the spaghetti you were eating.”
“Yes, well, anyway, what were you going to say?”
“Could I have a bead kit like Wendy’s? Then I’ll be able to make bracelets for me and my friends.”
“If you’re a good girl, we’ll see.”
“I’m a good girl now.”
“I know you are, but you have to be a good girl all the time.”
“I am a good girl all the time.”
“I know.”
“So, when can I have a bead kit?”
“We’ll have a look for one in town the next time we’re there.”
“When are we going to town again?”
I turned to Jack. “Feel free to help me out here.”
“Nah, you’re doing just fine.” He grinned.
“When, Mummy?”
“Maybe tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow, yay! Is it alright if I go out and play with Buddy now?”
“Yes, but I’d better give him some food first or I don’t think he’ll be very eager to run after the ball.”
I glanced over at the dog who mouthed, “You’ve got that right.”
For a little one, that dog could certainly put away his grub. Within just a couple of minutes, the bowl had been licked clean.
“Come on, Buddy,” Florence shouted to him.
“Yes. Go on, Buddy.” I nudged him gently with my foot.
“I bet you’re glad you went to see that play now, aren’t you?” Jack said.
“It was truly awful, but yes because otherwise poor old Rusty would never have learned the truth.”
“Do you think they’ll go over to his house and admit to him that he did in fact see what he thought he had?”
“I’m absolutely sure they will. It’s a choice between that or having his wife find out about his affair. I’m confident Mr Smart would rather face Rusty.”
By the time I’d finished my cornflakes, Jack was still only halfway through his bowl of muesli.
“Why do you force yourself to eat that stuff every morning?” I said. “
You clearly don’t enjoy it.”
“Rubbish. I love it.” He put a huge spoonful of the mush in his mouth, just to prove his point.
“I’d better be going. I promised Elizabeth Judge that I’d call in at Tweaking Manor to check on her sister.”
“What will—”
“Don’t talk with your mouth full. That’s where Florence gets her bad habits from.”
***
When I arrived at Tweaking Manor, there was no sign of the police cars that had been there the day before. The fact that they’d left so soon was a sign that they didn’t suspect a crime had taken place.
I rang the doorbell and waited, but there was no response. I knocked with the same result, so I began to thump on the door. After a couple of minutes of non-stop thumping, I heard footsteps coming across the wooden floor. Moments later, the door opened and there stood Ransom.
“What do you want?” he snapped.
“I’d like to see Caroline, please.”
“You can’t. She’s in bed, resting, and she’s not seeing visitors.” He tried to close the door, but I’d already put my foot in the way. “Do you mind?”
“I’m not leaving until I’ve seen Caroline.”
“You look like waiting there all day, then. You’re not coming into this house ever again.”
“Either you step aside and let me see her or I talk to the police.”
“And tell them what, exactly?”
“I’ll think of something. Did you know my husband was a police officer?” I didn’t think it necessary to mention that Jack had in fact retired. “I’m sure he’ll take my concerns seriously.”
That clearly gave Ransom pause for thought. “Okay, you can see her, but only for a minute. Then you leave and you don’t come back. Understood?”
“Understood.”
“Follow me.” He led the way across the hall, up the staircase, and along a corridor. “Caroline is in here. She’s asleep, so please don’t disturb her.”
He opened the door just wide enough for me to see inside. He clearly didn’t intend for me to go into the bedroom, but I had other ideas. Before he could stop me, I’d barged past him and made my way over to the four poster bed. Caroline looked several years older than when I’d seen her just the day before.
“Right. You’ve seen her now.” Ransom took my arm. “It’s time to leave.”
“No chance.” I brushed his hand away. “Caroline, it’s Jill Maxwell.”
Her eyes opened and she blinked a few times before she seemed to register my presence.
“Jill? What are you doing here?”
“I just called in to see how you are.”
“I’m okay.” She didn’t sound it. “Just a little tired. It must be all the upset with Mulgrave.”
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Yes, there’s no need for you to worry, I promise.”
“Okay, but if you need anything, give me a call.”
“I will. Thank you.”
“Right,” Ransom said. “That’s enough. Come on.”
He couldn’t get me out of that house quickly enough. As I stepped outside, I turned to speak to him, but he slammed the door in my face.
***
When I arrived at the office, Mrs V was staring at her phone and shaking her head.
“What’s the matter, Mrs V?”
“How could someone do this, Jill? It’s plain wicked.”
“What’s happened?”
“Someone has whacked my YarnAgram account.”
“Whacked it? Oh, wait a minute. Do you mean they’ve hacked it?”
“Yes. Look what they’ve done.”
She handed me the phone, which was displaying the photos in her YarnAgram account. At first glance, it looked no different to the last time I’d seen it, but when I scrolled down, I came across a photo of an old pair of socks with holes in the toes. Then a jumper that had one sleeve much longer than the other.
“Where did these new photos come from, Mrs V?”
“I have no idea. I certainly didn’t knit those things. Scroll down a little further, there’s lots more like that. What will people think if they believe I’ve made those?”
“Do you have any idea who could have done this?”
“None at all. I’m seriously thinking of quitting YarnAgram altogether. This has got me quite upset.”
“I’m not surprised.” I handed back her phone.
I felt sorry for Mrs V, but there was nothing much I could do, other than to help her to submit an abuse report to YarnAgram. I wasn’t confident that anything would come of it.
Winky was on the sofa, whistling to himself, and looking very pleased with life.
“What have you got to be so happy about?”
“Do I need a reason? I’m just happy to be alive on this beautiful day.”
“Just a minute. Was it you? It was, wasn’t it?”
“Was what me?”
“Did you post those horrible photos to Mrs V’s YarnAgram account?”
“What on Earth is YarnAgram?”
“Don’t play the innocent. You know very well what it is.”
“I don’t have the foggiest idea what you’re talking about.”
“Someone has whacked, I mean hacked her account and posted photos of old socks on there.”
“And you think I did it?”
“Let’s just say you’re at the top of my suspect list.”
“That’s charming. Hang a cat without any evidence, why don’t you?”
“I intend to get to the bottom of this and if I find out you did it, there will be consequences.”
“And how exactly do you intend to do that? You aren’t exactly a computer wizard, are you?”
“No, but I—err—”
“I could find out who did it.”
“You? How?”
“I have my contacts.”
“Are you being serious?”
“Perfectly. Just say the word and I’ll give Nobby the Nerd a call. He’ll get to the bottom of it in no time.”
“You’d do that?”
“Yes. For a price.”
“I might have known. What do you want?”
“You have to raise the salmon ban with immediate effect.”
“Okay, but only when your friend has tracked down the culprit.”
“Deal. I’ll get straight on it.” He jumped onto the windowsill and disappeared out of the window.
***
When Hilary from Love Spell had told me that my date with Romeo was to be at Bar Loco, I’d envisaged a modern hipster joint where all kinds of crazy people socialised.
I’d been completely wrong.
The ‘loco’ in Bar Loco turned out to be short for locomotive, as in locomotive trains. The whole bar was train themed. Great. Not.
Before visiting the bar, I’d used the ‘doppelganger’ spell to make myself look like Griselda who was a few years younger than me. And almost as pretty.
What? Of course I’m being completely objective.
I was horrified to see Mr Hosey standing behind the bar. He was dressed in a train driver’s uniform, as were all the other staff. I hadn’t seen him since we’d left Smallwash, and I certainly hadn’t missed him. Thankfully, he had no way of knowing it was me.
“What can I get for you, madam?”
“I’ll have a fruit juice, please.”
“Are you sure you wouldn’t like one of our cocktails? I can recommend the sidings.”
“No thanks, just an orange juice.”
I’d no sooner got my drink than I saw my quarry walk through the door. Romeo, who was taller than I’d imagined, was clearly dressed to kill. As soon as he spotted me, he flashed me a killer smile, waltzed over to where I was standing, and leaned against the bar in what was clearly a carefully rehearsed pose.
“Hello, beautiful. You’re even lovelier than your photograph. And what a lovely name. Griselda. Is that what people call you, or do you go by Griz?”
“Gri
selda will be fine.”
“I bought this for you.” He produced a single red rose from behind his back.
“Thank you. You’re a bit of a Romeo, aren’t you?”
“It’s funny you should say that.” He grinned. “Romeo is my nickname. What’s that you’re drinking?”
“Just an orange juice.”
“That won’t do at all. Why don’t I get us some cocktails?”
“Okay. If you insist.”
Once we had our drinks, we headed for a quiet booth deep inside the bar. Romeo, whose real name he assured me was Brodie Best, certainly had the gift of the gab. Unsurprisingly, his favourite subject was himself. I smiled sweetly and nodded occasionally as he droned on about his boring life. Curiously, he failed to mention the most significant part. That he was a crook who thought nothing of doing the dirty on his partners-in-crime.
After our third round of cocktails, ninety percent of which I’d managed to pour into the nearby plant pot, he was obviously under the impression that we’d made some kind of connection.
“So, Griselda, what do you say we move on to somewhere else?”
“Sounds good to me. Where did you have in mind?”
“We could go back to my place.” He gave me a knowing wink.
“I have a better idea. My apartment is only five minutes away. We could go there.”
“Absolutely.” His face lit up, and he clearly thought this was his lucky day. “Let’s go.” He took my hand and led the way out of the bar.
As we walked, he continued to talk nonstop. He told me how much he spent on clothes, how fantastic his apartment was, and about the car he was thinking of buying.
“This is a shortcut,” I said. “If we go down here, we’ll be at my place in a couple of minutes.” I pointed to the alleyway between two office buildings.
“Sure. Let’s go.”
When we were halfway down the alleyway, I checked that there was no one else around. The coast was clear, so I stuck my foot in front of his and gave him a gentle nudge, which sent him flying onto the floor. He hit the ground with a thump, tearing one knee of his trousers.
“What did you do that for?” He looked at me with a startled expression. “These trousers cost a small fortune.”
