by Paul Slatter
Then she'd ditch this fool before the hockey season even started up again—this guy wanting her for her looks and not even knowing her birthday. She called to Archall, still rapping in the other room, looking at himself in the mirror. And when he arrived she said, "Could you help me into the bathroom please."
As she felt him come up behind her and begin to push, she continued, "I just spoke with the hospital. They said if I get there today, then I'll be out and walking again in time for the start of the hockey season."
Cool, thought Archall, wondering what her ass would look like standing up—hoping she'd be able to wear high heels with jeans and, getting so turned on by the thought of it, pulled out a packet of his hard-on tablets and wacked a whole six straight back whilst Alla watched, looking up at him smiling, hoping he comes through and hands over the cash in advance like the private hospital had stipulated when she’d called.
He helped her off the chair and onto his downstairs toilet, and left her on the seat closing the door and giving her the room she needed to pull down the track pants Dennis had bought her to keep her legs warm. Then walked back down the corridor, calling out as he did saying, “While you on the shitter, I gonna get the cocoa pops and show you that trick I told you about. You’se gonna love it!”
Archall Diamond the man with his mind on, multitasking, putting another rap song together in his head as he walked away and spoke, singing out some lines and half humming the rest as the lyrics came together.
“Archall Diamond—de man with his mind on—they gonna get to see me soon. Got the girl in the bathroom—going in the main room—gonna get her fixing—then I get a mixing—gonna get the new car—don’t wanna have her bitchin—Chendrill in da kitchin.”
Chendrill in the kitchen, pulling his fist back and punching Archall Diamond straight in the face, knocking him out cold on the floor.
******
Chendrill had dropped off Dan without getting out and headed back to Trish’s house as promised, surprised that no one had yet noticed he didn't have any shoes on his feet. Getting out, he let himself in, smelled the freshly cooked bacon as soon as he opened the door, pulled off his trousers as instructed by Trish, and sat there in the kitchen at the table in just a clean pair of underpants as Trish looked at the heavy bruising on his legs and ankles, the skin rubbed through still bloody as she dabbed it with a hot flannel. She said, "You need to go to the hospital with this."
Chendrill agreed, but knew he never would as he felt her dress his wounds and bind him up. Trish looked up at him, knowing from his eyes and fatigue that something bad had gone down; and later, as she watched him in her bed twitch in his sleep, she thanked God silently that he was alive.
He’d woken up around five, finding it hard to stand, and thanked his girl, telling her he’d be back later. He took a cab to Dennis’, grabbed another pair of boots, gloves, and a screwdriver from the trunk of the Aston, and drove out to the airport where he bought a ticket for the long stay carpark. There he found himself a van and, hitting the screwdriver hard into the door and ignition locks, headed straight out to Surrey to look for Archall Diamond. He slipped in past Archall’s truck and crushed Mercedes and through the back door, just as he heard him walking back along the corridor rapping after leaving Alla; then, giving the man with the diamond in his tooth that had floated him enough time to register that he was back, he punched the fucker in the jaw so hard he wondered if the man would ever wake up. Feeling the pain in his legs burn, he picked the gangsta off the floor, slung him over his shoulder, marched him outside, and threw him hard into the back of the van.
******
Alla sat there on the toilet feeling helpless with a huge knot in her stomach. She'd listened to Archall as he walked along the corridor singing and humming out the tunes to whatever dumb rap song he was concocting and had heard the cold hard snap of the hit, then his groan as he hit the floor, and then the movement of Archall being picked up and taken away as the door slammed behind him. She'd been around violence enough to know the sounds. It was always fast and vicious and seldom as swift as the way Archall had been taken or the man who had hit her and broken her spine.
She sat there listening to the sound of a vehicle starting up outside and driving away and then all she could hear was herself. Oh my God no, she thought, don’t take him just yet please wait, just wait till she was at the hospital with that bag of cash he’d promised her. But no, he was gone. Leaning over, Alla reached her wheelchair and pulled it to her, locked the wheels and lifted herself in. Pulling the door open with her right hand, she wheeled herself out into the hall.
She reached the kitchen and looked around, there was no sign of a struggle—but there hadn’t really been one. She carried on, her wheels crunching cocoa pops as she went, and reached the living room and began searching around for the bag—it wasn’t in there. She hit the study and looked around, just a bag on the shelf of a book cabinet standing tall against the wall.
Shifting herself to one side and leaving herself room to get out, Alla placed both hands behind the side of the cabinet and gripping its light plywood rear, sent it crashing to the ground spilling Rasheed’s books and papers everywhere across the room. She wheeled forward, pushing herself up on one side as she bumped up on top of some books, reached down, and grabbed the bag. Empty.
Alla moved on back out into the hallway and, reaching the staircase, looked up at the two flights that led to the bedrooms. She’d seen him go up there with that bag, she thought. Archall Diamond, calling out like a little kid to her to wait there as he ran up to the bedroom, as though she could go anywhere else.
Alla spun the chair around, positioning it as close to the bottom of the staircase as she could and, using the handrail, pulled herself out onto the stairs. One step at a time, she began to pull herself up with her arms as her soft toned legs dragged behind her.
In incredible pain, covered in sweat and with tears in her eyes, she reached the top and began to drag herself along the carpeted hallway. Reaching the bathroom, she looked inside at the towels and cocoa pops on the floor. Then she carried on, dragging her body to the next bedroom and, stretching herself up, opening the door. Nothing, empty. She hit the next room, the same, then she reached the master bedroom with its door open and the light still on. And there was Archall’s bag sitting on the center of the bed, clothes everywhere, and more cocoa pops on the floor around the mirror.
Alla pulled herself up and peered over the top of the bed and although still in great pain, began to smile as she saw one half of the bed was slept in and the other along with the bag was covered in small packets of tablets and cash.
It was almost ten minutes later before she’d got back down the stairs, throwing the bag into which she’d stuffed all the money and packets of tablets down to the bottom and surfing down after it like a kid whose mum wasn’t watching. She reached the bottom and pulled herself back up and into her wheelchair.
Clutching the bag to her chest, Alla opened the front door and steadily maneuvered herself down the scaffold plank ramp and out and along the darkness of the street until she reached its end. Stopping on a corner and waving her arms, she flagged down the first car she saw with a woman driving. She looked up at the lady who had stopped as she got out and hurried around to see if she was okay, and then, with her eyes full of tears and clutching the bag with over two hundred and fifty thousand dollars in it that she’d just stolen from Archall Diamond, she cried like a wounded deer and said, “My husband just left me here—I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry—I’m pregnant and I need to get to the hospital.”
******
Chendrill stuck the electrodes of Archall Diamond’s Taser gun into Archall’s thigh and woke the man up. Then watching him as he came around, he said, “Archall Diamond—the man with his mind on?”
Archall looked around, wondering where he was and how he’d managed to end up handcuffed to the steering wheel of a family van. Then he saw Chendrill and the car inner tube pumped up and stuck between his kne
es. Chendrill carried on saying, “Tell me about the birdman—Paawan Gill.”
“Never fucking heard of him,” Archall Diamond said, rubbing his face with his free hand and showing off his front tooth and then realizing it wasn’t there anymore.
Chendrill said, “He’s the guy who you went to school with and used to throw himself under freight trains for a hobby to show off in front of you and your friends, except when you tried to copy him, you pissed your pants with fear. He’s also the guy who was fucking your girl and the same guy you stuck in an inner tube and threw into the Fraser as the tide was going out with a chain around his legs. That Paawan Gill in case you forgot. And if you’re wondering where that stupid tooth is, it’s in the ashtray.”
Archall Diamond stared at the big man, wondering how the fuck he’d survived as he looked around outside to see they were parked at the front of a small docking pier on a thin tributary of the Fraser River. Then he turned back to see Chendrill open the ashtray, pull his tooth out, show him, and then throw it on the dash. He said, “It fell out when I punched you in the mouth.”
As he felt the gap in his teeth again with his tongue, Archall said back, “I’se never put you in the river.”
Chendrill smiling and saying back, “I never said I’d been in the water, so how did you know I had? But we haven’t even gotten to me yet.”
“I never did nothing.”
Chendrill sat there looking at the man who had nearly drowned him, the guy handcuffed to the steering wheel of the family van he’d stolen, neither of them going anywhere fast. Chendrill said, “It’s pretty quiet around here. We could sit here till dawn if you want and wait till someone walking his dog sees you crying for help and calls the police.”
Archall looked out the window to the small dock and then to the inner tube. He didn’t need the police involved. Fuck that, no way. Then he said, “You gonna throw me in there?”
“No, you are going to tell me what you did to the birdman and then you are going to throw you in there,” Chendrill said as he sat there now himself talking like the Diamond, then he said, “Or like I said we can wait till the sun comes up.”
He stared at Archall, sitting there keeping as far from Chendrill as he could with his arm stretched out.
“So, what did you do to Paawan Gill?”
Archall stayed quiet. Chendrill leaned over and gave the Diamond another wallop with the Taser set on stun and heard the man scream out in pain, then waited for him to stop. He held the Taser up for him to see.
“It’s a long time till sun up. If you think this hurts, you try it when it’s on the other incapacitation setting, that really fucks you up, you should give it a go, see how it feels. Or you can start telling me about your girlfriend’s lover. And once you tell me, I’ll let you go and you can walk straight to the end of that dock, jump in and swim to the other side and we can call it quits. Or you can try and run and I’ll catch you and bring you in for trying to murder me. I’ve got witnesses that saw you shoot me with this Taser and then take me away in your truck and dump me in the water.”
Archall Diamond sat there taking it all in, thinking that there hadn’t been anyone around, not a soul—no one had seen. The man was full of shit. Wishing he had killed him properly like a real gangster would have instead of being a chicken shit and letting the ocean do it, he said, “What witnesses you got?”
Chendrill said, “Well, for a start, there’s you and there’s me and the guy in the house opposite your friend the dentist and there’s your girlfriend, Alla. The pretty one you can’t keep your eyes off.”
Archall started to worry now shifting in his seat, wondering if it was true, and wondering too if Alla was still stuck on the toilet where he’d left her. He said, “Alla not seen nothing.”
And Chendrill said, “But, like I say, it’s not about you and me—that’s not important, that’s—‘Water under the bridge.’ It’s like I say, about Paawan Gill, the birdman. I’m not a cop you know that, I just want to know what happened. Then you can go swim across the river and I’ll let you take your chances the same way you let me, except I won’t wrap your legs in chains and put holes in the tubes the way you did.”
Archall looked at the water. The river bank on the other side was only three hundred feet away at the most, he could do it easy, he was a good swimmer, he’d fallen off the back of his boat enough to know that. The Ape here, trying to get tough like The Diamond but not having the guts to get the chains out and go the whole nine yards. He could run the dock, dive in keep hold of the tube, and if he got pulled out he’d sit out there with just his ass in its center and wait, the tide was changing soon, he knew the times and when it did it’d bring him back home, he could treat it as a holiday. Getting all gangster, he said, “Yeah birds like the sky so the Diamond floated the birdman, I squashed him under de Mercedes and then I see if he could swim.”
Chendrill smiled, and said, “Who, Paawan Gill?”
Archall nodded now, liking the feeling of showing he wasn’t afraid, he said, “Yeah Paawan Gill the guy who could fly but couldn’t swim, didn’t like to get wet. I’se floated the fucker. Now let me out of this family van before I’s get broody, so as I can get to the other side of this river.”
Then Chendrill leaned forward and, taking Archall’s phone off the dash, handed it to him along with his tooth. He said,“You can keep this, but you’ll see it’s been recording our chat. If you try to run and throw it in, I’ll catch you and find it and hand it in along with everything else I know. You dive in and the water will erase it all if you’re lucky.”
Archall looked back towards the water and the bank on the other side lit up by the full moon, yeah, he could do it he thought, this clown got out of it and he was unconscious and trussed up like a stuck pig. Then he heard the loud click of the family van’s central locking system open as Chendrill opened the door for him. Archall looked to the door then to the phone to see it was still recording. It was. He switched it off as he felt the cuff release as Chendrill unlocked it. He said, “You’s keeping your’se word—you letting me go?”
Chendrill shrugged saying, “You let me go.”
Suspicious, Archall Diamond opened the door and looked around, expecting to see a SWAT team of RCMP officers and a helicopter come swooping in with its search light, and to hear some guy with a megaphone shouting, “Diamond, put your hands in the air and step away from the family van with the kid’s seat in the back.” But there was nothing out there other than a dock that ran away from the door and water and moonlight. Chendrill had positioned the van well, Archall thought, as he looked further around, the only way to get to land was through him or to jump from the dock into the water and try to climb out along the bank to where the big fucking ape would be waiting.
He stepped out, put his phone and tooth in his pocket, and, reaching in, pulled out the inner tube as he heard Chendrill say with real concern in his voice, “Archall, it looks easy but you’re going to drown. Get back in the van and let me take you to the police station and if you tell them everything you’ve done, you’ll get off lightly and be back out telling everyone how you dumped me in the drink and looking cool by the time you’re in your thirties. They’ll even fix your tooth for free.”
Archall stared at him, looking at the man in his Aerostar, trying to make it look as though he’s doing him a favor, putting the Diamond in jail when all he has to do is swim.
Archall said, “You think you better than me—you don’t think I can swim?”
Chendrill shaking his head saying, “Not like me, no.” And wishing he’d taken him in straight to the nearest police station and dealt with it properly instead of playing games, he lifted the Taser quickly and tried to shoot him as Archall slammed the door shut and ran along the dock as fast as he could with the inner tube in his arms and jumped out and into the river, the water’s cold chill enveloping him as he went under. He felt the current pull him away with his arms above him still clinging as tightly as he could to the inner tube.
Then he surfaced and looked around, seeing Chendrill there standing at the end of the dock now in the distance watching as he floated away. Spinning his body around, Archall Diamond looked to the bank on the other side, now only a hundred feet away or so, keeping his head above water with his right arm around the tube he began to scramble towards it, kicking and lashing out with his free arm and then letting go of the tube he went for it, swimming like a crazy man kicking and splashing both arms into the water in front of him heading against the current as it pulled him along towards the shore now only some twenty feet in front of him. Powering on, he thrashed his arms and legs, seeing the bank in front of him now only feet away as he reached out still kicking, trying to grab hold of the grass and rocks on the bank, then suddenly there was no shore.
Archall stopped swimming and looked around him feeling the cold water hitting his face, it’s salt stinging his eyes as he bobbed up and down, treading water in the swell. He was moving fast in the riptide, the land way off now, too far to swim against the current that was taking him further away by the second. Chendrill was way away now somewhere back down the river. He felt himself rise again in the water and saw the inner tube floating further out in the distance. That’s it, he thought, get the tube and wait just as he had planned. Thrusting forward, he began to swim with the riptide out to sea, lifting one arm after the other over and over, kicking his feet in a regular motion feeling his body work with the tide, his cupped hands slapping the cold dark water and pulling him forward with every stroke as he thought about reaching the inner tube where he could climb in and wait for the tide to turn, his head lifting to the side reaching out of the sea for air as his left hand swooped above pulling him up, his body moving in sequence as his mouth opened drawing in a deep breath of salty air past his missing tooth and into his lungs as he stretched out his feet behind him. His legs powering him forward towards the tube and out to sea as he thought about Alla, his new girl and what she’d look like with him in his car and how sexy she’d look at a hockey game with everyone looking at her tits and her beautiful face and her eyes and her sexy legs, and how they’d both laugh as he played cocoa pop games with his dick in the kitchen. Then in the cold of the water as his mind whirled around with thoughts of his new girl, who was so beautiful he felt his dick, still half hard in his pants from the packet of tablets he’d popped earlier in the kitchen, start to rise. And there it sat, sticking out and pointing downward towards the ocean bed in his loose basketball shorts, like a rudder, engorged with blood, keeping him nice and steady as he powered on out to sea, Rock Solid.
