Audrey sighs as new tears fall. “You’ve proven it to me so many times. It’s hard to believe you’ll stick with this and mean it.”
My resolve thickens. “You think I’m that much of a fucking loser? Like I’m a stoner or a flunky who can’t do shit?”
Audrey refuses to look me in the eye and studies her pink nails. “I’ve only known what you’ve shown me, so yes. I don’t think you’ll stay with it.”
“Yeah, I fucked up by not finding a better job or going to college. And yeah, I fucked up, thinking life will work out if I just let it.” I laugh, but it’s not funny. Tears blur my fucking sight as the reality of her words pummel me. And the more they crush, the harder I push back, and the lingering heartbreak shifts to brisk determination.
Audrey starts to speak, but I cut her off. “But I haven’t fucked up as much as I did when I thought you loved me for me—not a fucking paycheck, a rung on a corporate ladder, a shitty status symbol, or an auspicious lay.”
“That’s not—”
“Maybe I’m stuck in neutral, and I’m slow on the uptake with finding myself, but I’m not a total fucking failure, Audrey. For you to say I am without giving me a damn chance at this career route—not some damned dead-end job like you said—pisses me the fuck off. I need you to be my biggest cheerleader, not my biggest critic. I make fucking mistakes, but I’m learning from them and want to change. And yeah, I had dreams for us, but not anymore. You’re right. It’s my turn to start a new life. Without you. And yes, I can do it because you know what? Ricky and Grant believe in me more than you ever have. I can’t believe you took advantage of me on my birthday.”
“Dylan, I’m sorry. I still love you. Just…”
“Not enough, right?” I sniff but remain in control. “You can have your career. Good luck. I mean that.” My voice catches, but it doesn’t deter me. “You can have the husband you want, but it won’t be me, and your kids won’t be mine. You’ll have to find convenient dick somewhere else.”
“God, I’m sorry.”
“Have a great life. You can have the best love story ever, now.” My throat tightens, and I wipe my wet face with my coat sleeve. “It just won’t be ours.”
I turn and stepping off the curb, Audrey says, “Dylan, don’t leave. Please don’t.”
But I keep walking, and it takes every ounce of willpower to not run back to her. Now I need to prove to her I’m not a loser. I think.
As I walk to my car, I pull out my phone and return a call. Before he can say a word, I command, “Tell Grant that I’m coming to California.”
Chapter 3
Pulling in front of the garage, I see two familiar cars. I debate if I want to hide out for a couple of hours, but Ricky and Grant will no doubt find me. Spying dickwads.
I climb the narrow wooden stairs with a deep breath, and upon entering my apartment, two women fly at me and talk over each other.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Where are you going?”
“Grandpa would be so proud.”
“What did Dalton say?”
“Did you dump Audrey?”
“She didn’t deserve you, anyway.”
My mother and sister both hug me, but I squeeze through them to escape. “Give me some air. I see good news travels at warp speed.”
Looking at the couch, I take in my dad’s uniform pants. He walks over to me, and I ask, “You just get off work?”
“Yeah.” He hugs me harder and longer than usual. “We’re here to help you pack up the apartment.”
I let go of my dad, and my mother throws her arms around me. “My baby, a cop? God. I don’t know, Dylan. Two of my sons?”
“I’ll be okay, Mom.” She squeezes me harder, and I wheeze, “You’re suffocating me.”
She holds me at arm’s length. “Sorry.”
Older by three years, my sister overwhelms me next. Her chin-length dark brown wavy hair smells like apples. “Why can’t you stay in Richmond? Ricky would teach you.”
“I need to leave Virginia.” Glancing around the living room, I ask, “Where’s Ricky? He didn’t want to get all sappy with goodbyes?”
Dad says, “He’ll be back.”
I nod to my sister’s stomach. “You eat an entire watermelon?”
She frowns, which turns into a smile as she clutches her round stomach. “I know, right? He’s growing so much.”
“Is he a junior?”
“We haven’t decided on a name yet, but no.” She smacks my arm. “Why didn’t you tell me you and Audrey broke up?”
“More good news. Can’t I keep anything to myself?”
“Nope.”
Mom asks, “Why wouldn’t you tell us? When did this happen?”
I sigh. “It happened yesterday. Look, I really don’t want to talk about it.”
“The day after your birthday?” Mom sweeps hair from my forehead as her eyes fill with tears. I need to get out of here.
Dani giggles. “You two were cute. I mean, you met in high school. You probably even lost your virginities to each other.” She taunts me with a smile while my mother’s mouth falls open, and from behind me, Dad clears his throat.
Always a competition with my equally brainy sister, but not in the mood for decorum around my uptight parents, I shrug. “Like how your former non-boyfriend stole yours by accident?”
Dad says, “Oh, my God. I don’t—”
Mom squeaks. “Danica!”
Dani laughs, shifting her gaze from me to our parents and then back to me. “He didn’t have to steal. I threw it at him.”
“Apparently, he caught it.” I bend, telling her stomach, “Your father deflowered your mother. What a cad.”
Throwing her hands up, Mom snaps, “That’s enough! I don’t want to hear more!”
Dad frowns, glaring at both of us. “Keep that to yourselves.”
My mother waves her hand, shooing the thought. “Seriously, Danica. What’s gotten into you?”
“This kid’s dad, obviously,” I retort, earning me a murderous glare from my mother.
Dani says, “Dylan and I both kept our virtues past high school. What’s wrong with that? Dalton and Dex sure didn’t, though.”
I smirk at my sister and then turn to my mother. “Yeah. You should be proud your daughter kept her legs closed, and your youngest son kept it in his pants for as long as possible.” We high five. “Bragging rights.”
Dad hides in the closest bathroom pulling with the plastic sliding door closed, and Mom covers her ears, yelling, “Stop! I changed your diapers, for Pete’s sake!”
I laugh, but nothing helps my wounded soul. Until yesterday afternoon, my life was normal. Now, it’s shit, and I’ll never be the same. Noticing my turmoil, Mom hugs me again. “Hey. It’ll be okay.”
I frown as I pull back. “You don’t know that.”
She messes with the front of my hair, and I avoid the same blue eyes flecked with gold she gave to Dani and Dex. “I know you. You always bounce back. You’ll have plenty of time to date.”
I tilt away and swat at her hand. “Not while in training, from what I hear.”
“Why the rush, anyway? You’re young, Dylan. You’ve only been in one relationship. There’s plenty of time for another one later.”
Dani says, “Yeah. No one is stopping you from dating. You’re free now.”
I rub my shoulder, kinked from sleeping on the couch. As my mother and sister stare at me, I look at another wall. I cannot cry in front of them, or they’ll never let me leave Richmond. “Well, I need to pack, so…”
“We’re here to help,” Dani offers, looking around my tiny apartment. “How much of this is yours, and how much is Deedle’s?”
“The appliances are his. Since it was yours, you can take the furniture or leave it here. I’ll buy a new bed and couch once I find my own place. I can fit everything I’m taking in my car.”
Mom asks, “You’re driving to Sunnyville, California? That’ll take days.”
�
�How else will I get my car out there, Mom?”
Dad returns and says, “Leave it here and buy another.”
I deadpan, “That’s hysterical.” I can barely afford a place to stay on the way there, let alone buy another fucking car. My parents would be horrified if they knew how broke I am. I have enough money for gas and one night at a cheap motel. Any more than that, I’ll sleep at a rest stop.
A knock at the door makes us all turn as it creaks open. “Hey,” Jordan says, entering with my backpack.
“Hey,” I say, walking over to her. She sets down the backpack and hugs me.
She buries her face into my sweatshirt. “I can’t believe you’re leaving Richmond. I don’t want you to go.” Even so, I don’t want everyone to convince me to stay.
“I’m sorry, Jay. It just sort of happened.”
Mom rubs Jordan’s back as she asks, “Who suggested you move back to California?”
“Grant,” I reply, leaving Ricky out of my answer so I can use it for ammunition later. I hang my arm over Jordan’s shoulders as my sister grabs her a tissue.
“My nephew? Why? You can train here.”
“I need the change in scenery.”
Jordan sniffs. “Thanks.”
“It’s not you, Jay.”
In courtroom mode, Mom crosses her arms. “My brother never mentioned it to me.”
“He might not know this shit.”
“Dylan, language,” she scolds. My mother is Assistant District Attorney Deirdre Malone-McGrath and has seen and heard it all with a side of holy hell. At home, she’s prim as fuck, which may have rubbed off on my sister and me for a time.
Looking over my shoulder, Mom asks, “Dean, you brought the boxes, didn’t you?”
“Yep.” My dad goes to the door, and I argue, “Really, you guys. I can handle this.” I don’t need them all digging through my things.
“Don’t be silly, honey. We’re here to help.” I make a face at the back of her head, and Dani shoves my arm with a laugh as Jordan still holds on to me.
I sigh, and when Jordan starts crying again, I lead her over to the couch. We sit while my sister makes a phone call, and my mother takes one. Jordan whines, “You’re leaving because of Audrey? You’ve known me longer, Dylan. I’m here. Forget about her. She doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, she does.” I watch my mother and sister, making sure they don’t hear too much.
“But you love me too. We’re practically family.”
“Don’t make this harder for me, Jordan. We’ll still talk on the phone; I’ll visit as much as possible, and you can visit me. It’ll be all right,” I console, trying to convince myself more than her.
“I know you saw Audrey.”
“How do you know that?” I ask while my sister has her back to us and my mother goes into the small area that’s supposed to be a kitchen.
“I’m not stupid. Maybe not genius-level like you, but…”
“And how in the hell do you know that?”
“You don’t hide it very well. And maybe when I stayed here on the couch a few times, I dug through shit.”
“Thanks a lot.”
“You bored me with your heavy sleep.” She laughs through tears, wiping her face with her shiny orange nails, which complement her dark complexion.
“I’m no genius, so cut that shit out.”
“What did Audrey say about you joining the fuzz?”
I shrug. “She said I’ll just mess up this chance too.”
Jordan seethes, “Oh, hell no. I hope you told her to get fucked and not by you, which I imagine you offered.”
“Shh,” I say, peering into the kitchen to see both my mom and Dani on their phones. Dani never stops talking but makes a point to roll her eyes at me. I frown back at her and tell Jordan, “It wasn’t like that.”
“Okay. Let me rephrase. You offered your heart and a romp on a platter, but she karate-chopped it.”
“Yeah. That’s more accurate.”
“The prissy bitch doesn’t deserve you.”
I blink, furiously trying to rid my tears so no one sees them. I’m not even drunk. I don’t have the strength to defend Audrey. Jordan lays a hand on my arm. “You have a ton to offer a woman, aside from your looks.”
I wince. “I’m not interested in any woman.”
“Maybe you should bat for the other team. See what’s out there.”
I smirk, shaking my head. “No, thanks.”
“Then just troll for sluts.”
I laugh, and I don’t feel as bad this time. “Shut the hell up.”
Jordan sighs. “So, you’re really going to be a cop?”
“Yeah, and I’m moving to Sunnyville. It sounds like my worst nightmare.”
“No kidding.”
“How’d you find out, anyway?”
“Ricky.”
“I swear to God. He gossips more than old ladies in a hair salon.”
Jordan laughs, and I smile. When Dad returns with boxes and just as I get up to help him, my phone rings. Pulling it out of my pocket, before I see him on the screen, I can hear Grant’s shit-eating grin. “I heard the good news.”
“Jesus. Did Ricky take out an ad?”
“Basically. Okay. I made some calls, kissed some ass, and asked for a favor. When you get here, we’ll get your application started. I’ll explain everything to you then. Next, I’ll help you get an apartment since a toddler will cramp your style.”
“Uh, sure, but I’ll be okay.”
My dad unexpectedly leans against me. “Hey, Grant.”
“Hey, Uncle Dean.” My father leaves, and I roll my eyes. Grant laughs, shouting, “Bye, Uncle Dean! Okay. You have my address. I expect to see you in one week. That gives you two days to pack and to tie up loose ends. It’ll take you a little over three days if you drive twelve hours each day for the rest of the week. I’ll give you that extra day before I release the hounds.”
“Great.”
“Stay safe, and I’ll see you soon.”
Grant ends the call, so I set down my phone. Mom returns from her phone call just as a knock hits my door before it opens. Ricky says, “Whoa. I leave, and a party happens. Should that offend me?”
Mom and Dad look at each other and then try to find something to do. I stand and grab a box. “Okay. I got this. You all can go. Now.”
Dani grabs a box. “Nope. I’m here to help. I’ll start with the kitchen.”
As Dani walks toward the kitchen, Ricky stops her. “I’ll get it.” His eyes fall at her stomach.
Dani frowns. “I can handle it.” She goes to move again, but Ricky blocks her path.
“I’ll help you.” Ricky grabs the box from her. “You pack. I’ll lift.”
“Like you’re the boss of me?” She picks up another box, challenging him.
Ricky’s dark eyes narrow. “No.” He then leans closer to my sister. “But that’s not just your son in there.”
Dani giggles and kisses him. Jordan groans, “Yuck. Get a room.”
“And look what happened the last time they did,” I tease. “Yeah, Tesco. You should’ve heard what your wife said about you earlier.”
Dani drops the box to put her arms around his shoulders, and he grins. “I can only imagine.”
Without looking at Ricky, probably unnerved by our revelations still, Mom says, “Oh, no. We’re not going there again.”
Acting somewhat similar, Dad looks elsewhere too. “Agreed.”
Ricky asks, “What did I do?”
“If I remember correctly, you defiled their daughter, planted your seed in her, and coerced their son to move across the country for a dangerous job or go to jail.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Ricky!”
“Dylan!”
“Wait. I planted what?”
I feel slightly better.
Chapter 4
“Why this place?” I put the car in park as I study the crumbling brick on the small gray building. I’ve been in California for thirteen
months and Joy Springs for three. I’d heard about this place, but up close, it would barely pass for ordinary. The diner sign on the building is broken and unreadable. I can see why it’s easy to miss.
With openings and connections, Grant hooked me up with Joy Springs PD. Joy Springs is Sunnyville’s knock-off, next-door neighbor that also rides the Malone train—my great-uncle was a lieutenant here.
“Do you always question your superiors?”
“Yeah.”
“Not yeah.”
I refrain from rolling my eyes. “Yes.”
“Yes, what?” I will not kill today. I will not kill today.
“Yes, Sergeant Taggart.”
“That’s better. You shouldn’t question anything I tell you, especially considering the predicament you’re in, Officer McGrath.”
“I know, but—”
“And what did I just tell you?”
I sigh, resenting my ability to breathe. “To shut up.”
“Precisely. Need I remind you you’re already skating on thin ice, and your career as a police officer may soon end because of your actions?”
“No, sergeant.”
“You’re still in-field training and have gone through two other field training officers before me.”
I tap my fingers on the steering wheel. “To be fair, the other two gave up.” Like I’m not used to that.
“The first FTO, Officer Patton, said you two were incompatible, and you argued with his directions, endlessly.”
“Because he yelled at me, endlessly.”
“So will I.”
I shake my head. “He was different.” He was an uptight, arrogant prick with a strong opinion. Mine was stronger.
“He said you refused to follow protocol.”
“I mean, I followed, but aren’t some rules meant to be bent somewhat?”
“You are an officer of the law. No.”
“Right.”
“The second, Corporal Tucker—”
I grip the wheel, so I don’t grip her throat. “Hold on. That wasn’t all my fault. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“You discharged your firearm and shot him in the leg at an indoor firing range. Even better, you jerked from the kickback and elbowed his jaw, dislocating it.”
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