Approaching Kildare Street, I deactivate the sirens and the flashing lights as I revert to a patrol speed. Then I inform dispatch I’m taking a break near Priority. They don’t need to know where I am or what I’m about to do. And if they find out, again, I don’t care.
Spotting her car, I pull in behind it and shut off the engine instead of leaving it running as I’m supposed to do. But this isn’t a standard call. Getting out, I head for the front door, but the side lights flip on, and Talia stomps down the stairs. She’s now wearing loose pajama pants and a sweatshirt. Didn’t she say she had to be somewhere? Talia stops next to her car. “I knew you’d come here, Dylan. You arresting me now?”
From here, in the limited light, I see her dark gaze roaming over me. When I realize we’re staring at each other, I struggle for the voice I haven’t recovered. “For what?”
“I tried to kick your ass.”
An unexpected smile emerges on my face for a second before it dies. “Oh, yeah.” Not even close. “Not tonight.”
“Okay. Then you must be here to feed me more lies.”
“I only found out everything today.” When she glares at me, I sigh. “But I knew Taggart took down your dad for felony drug dealing and operating a prostitution ring. That’s all I knew.”
“And you wanted to hide it from me?”
I quietly say, “No. She asked me not to tell you, and I didn’t want to upset you more.”
“You did. God, Dylan.”
“I’m sorry.” Looking to the street, at the house, and then back to Talia, I ask, “Has Taggart been here?”
“No. She called, but I don’t want to talk to her. You have two minutes before your time is up.” Talia crosses her arms, but I think it’s more from the chill than as a barrier.
“I thought you knew your dad’s crimes but didn’t want to talk about them.”
“No. I was a kid. I believed Lynn, so I had no reason to read about him. No one says anything to my face, but I know I’m gossip.”
“I should’ve talked to you about it, then. I don’t want secrets between us.”
Talia shakes her head. “Sorry isn’t good enough. My trust in people is minuscule. You hurt me more than anyone. Ever. That includes what Lynn just did. You...You were different. I fucking trusted you. With my life. With…everything.”
I approach her with caution, but her eyes drop to my gun as she steps back. I sigh. “You can trust me.” The porch light, the upstairs light from inside the house next door, and the streetlight thirty feet from me illuminate us enough to see each other. “I should’ve told you, but…” I grit my teeth and step closer. “I didn’t expect Prescott to blab.”
Talia scowls. “He wanted me to know the truth.”
“Of course, it was him. Taggart only told me earlier tonight about Omar working with your dad. If I—”
Her sudden, horrified expression cuts me off. “Omar had nothing to do with my dad.”
Closing my eyes, I wince. “Shit.”
“What, Dylan?” Unable to answer, I fight to not lose it, for her sake. “Oh, fuck. No.” Talia turns away, but then she faces me, nearly losing her balance. “If you have any compassion for me at all, don’t say he knew Omar and that I was a…business deal.” When Talia’s fearful eyes lock onto mine, she whispers, “God. No.”
When I find my voice, it cracks. “I wish I…I’m sorry.”
I move toward her, but she backs against her car. “Stay away from me. It didn’t happen. My dad asked me to have dinner with some of his friends. That’s all. When he pushed them harder and blamed me if he didn’t score a business deal, I cut ties because I didn’t trust him. My dad didn’t know Omar. I met him two years ago in New York at a Starbucks.” She shakes her head. “No! You’re lying.”
“I’m not. There’s proof. Why do you trust Prescott more than me?”
“Because you and I barely know each other. And after everything good your family has done for generations in Joy Springs and Sunnyville, the name Malone is sacred. Your family might be famous here, but mine is infamous.”
“Well, I’m a McGrath, so no hallowed ground here. I’m a fucked up nobody. And I didn’t grow up around here, thank God. These two cities are up each other’s ass and have a small-town feel. Gag me.”
“Yes. And that means more people know everyone else’s business. Going by my mother’s maiden name has done nothing for me. Being seen with you…”
“What about it?”
She sighs and peers up at the night sky like she’s unsure of what to say. Talia then looks at the ground, and I hear her sniff. “For a cop, you miss a lot of things. You don’t see people watching us like we’re a freak show. I straddle both sides of the fence, morally and racially. People see me as some kind of double agent or only belonging to one side.”
“Who said something to you?”
“People don’t have to a word. It’s the stares and whispers. To the world, I’m only Black while you’re all blue. The color of your skin doesn’t matter.”
“Ever tell Hayes Dellinger that? I don’t think he got the memo.” Closer to her, I cross my arms to keep them to myself. “You’re right. I don’t know what it’s like to live that struggle every day. At all. But I want to be—”
“My white knight?”
“If it keeps you safe, fuck yes.”
“I don’t need you to rescue me!”
“But you’re not sorry I saved you from that son of a bitch, Omar! If I had known he’d made a deal with your father, I would’ve aimed higher and shot sooner.”
Talia purses her lips, shaking her head. “I’m talking about every other situation. And it’s not just that. It’s how much older I am.”
I throw out my arms. “You said you were trying to get past that! You don’t even look older than me! Isn’t age just a number? Why do you keep harping on that shit?”
“Because it’s my fucking life! You wouldn’t understand! I’ll be a woman in her thirties!”
“And I know damn well what you’ll want. I’m not obtuse. I will too! Two hours ago, we made love on your couch and were closer than we had ever been. That’s the chance we took. We knew what can happen.”
“You read more into it.”
“Bullshit.”
“It was a mistake. That’s all.” Talia uses the heel of her hand to wipe her eye.
“What are you doing? Why are you still trying to convince me I don’t want to be with you? That we’re not good for each other because of damn details? We’re different. So fucking what? I love every single thing about you. I can’t help what I feel. And I won’t stop.”
Talia clears her throat, covering a stuttered sigh. “It’s too much. We come from different—”
“Worlds? What the fuck?”
Talia nods as pain flutters over her face, but when she inhales, it’s gone. “You’re not the type of man I’m looking for, Dylan.”
“Because we’re not the same color or age? Don’t give me this shitty breakup speech! And now you want to shovel this shit and throw it in my face?”
“It’s the truth!” She shifts, looking toward the street before saying, “Yes. I talked to Tristan.”
“So, because Tristan is your age and you went to school together, he’s suddenly a mystical oracle that knows all? He hasn’t taken the time to get to know you like I have.” When I again notice her jeans and the fact that she was with Prescott tonight, I clench my jaw and squeeze my fingers into aching fists. “Where?”
“His apartment.”
“Why?” When Talia hugs her arms around herself and turns her head to avoid looking at me, my heart stops. Grasping rocks on the edge of my sanity, I hoarsely say, “I want an answer, Talia.”
Talia’s gaze falls to my belt, probably to my gun, and then her eyes close as she rasps, “We had sex.” Gawking at Talia in shock, the words don’t permeate through the fog. When I’m silent, Talia covertly wipes her eyes and then glances at me. Her voice is tearful. “Dylan?”
My th
roat constricts, and no amount of swallowing helps to open it. Standing there, I struggle for words and air. Stuck in the land of disbelief, I ask, “You slept with Tristan? When?” Talia winces with fast breaths. “After you claimed to love me? After we promised we’d always love each other, no matter what? After you jumped me and fucked my brains out? After…Oh, Jesus Christ.” My voice cracks as my hands fly into my hair. Several deep breaths don’t help the pain or stop my eyes from blurring.
Talia wheezes, “Dylan…”
“You said you loved me.”
Cringing, Talia recomposes her face before saying, “I thought I did.”
“So how does Tristan fit, then? He’s white! He’s a cop!”
“It was just sex. The fact you kept Lynn’s secret hurt me, yes, but I also don’t have the same complications with him.”
When she covers her mouth with her hand, hiding a sob or trying not to puke, I see the real Talia—the one I fell for. Using the back of my hand to dry my face again, I angle my head to see hers, but Talia instantly turns the other way. I take a chance and ask, “Why are you lying to me? You didn’t cheat.”
She stares at the fence between her house and next door and raggedly whispers, “You’re in denial.”
“No way. You wouldn’t do that to me, mad or not.”
“I would, and I did.” Talia glances behind me toward my cruiser. “Leave before I call 911.”
“Go ahead. I’ll tell dispatch myself.”
Talia’s cool temporarily melts, and she moves toward me. “I didn’t set out to hurt you.”
“How goddamn considerate of you! I hope he didn’t mind me as the first coming attraction!”
“He wore….”
I search for anything to give me an outlet. I want to destroy my cruiser with my nightstick, but it wouldn’t do enough damage. I then spin to face her with a bitter smirk. “What did you do? Polish his badge? Blow him harder than a breathalyzer? Or did you start a Sunnyville PD cumwad collection? What about Officer Mason? Liu? Forensics does it for the DNA. And avoid K-9. They only do it doggy style. Homicide does it to death. SWAT is in and out before you know what the fuck happened. Narcotics will ask for a blow but then arrest you for possession.” I force a laugh so I don’t feel the pain of a slow death.
Talia’s impassiveness cracks again as she gasps. “Dylan, stop.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? You chastise me for trying to protect you while you fuck another dick right after mine? So, our age difference is a big deal to you? That’s funny because I feel like I’m acting like the only reasonable adult here!”
Talia bites her frowning lip as it trembles. “I didn’t plan to do it.”
“I don’t believe you! I thought you hated police officers, but you seem to prefer our brand!”
Talia swallows a sob and says, “Fuck you.”
“Apparently, I was just one of many at the precinct!”
“Don’t you dare shame me for what my dad and Omar did to me!”
I shake my head. “No! What they did to you was horrific! But when you went to Tristan’s, you went with intent! That’s all on you!”
“Mens rea, right? So, now I’m on trial?”
Sniffing, I prop my hands on the hood, and without looking at her, I say, “That’s criminal intent. What you did to me was a selfish and shitty betrayal, but not a crime, regardless of how you just killed me.”
Almost as if to herself, Talia whispers, “Fuck, I can’t.”
“But you did.” Pushing myself off the car, I walk toward her. Talia’s eyes fall to my gun, which is the last thing on my damn mind. Knowing Talia’s fear, I stop a short distance from her. “I trusted you, Talia. I gave you my fucking heart.”
“I’m doing you a favor. Now you’re free to finish your training without any issues. Then you can find the woman meant for you.” Talia turns her head and squeezes her eyes shut.
I dry my face with the back of my hands and put them on my hips. “I thought I did.” When she looks toward the street, I close the distance but choke on my words. “Did I mean anything to you, or was I only another badge with an accommodating hard-on?” Talia tries to answer but then drops her brown-eyed gaze from mine. The more questions I ask, the more this doesn’t make sense. “You slept with Prescott because you were mad at me?”
Talia shifts and pleads, “Go back to work, Dylan. They’ll fire you.”
“I wish I had a fuck to give.” I tentatively grasp Talia’s chin. “Do you think this job is more important than you? I guess that’s where we differ. No matter how new, you and our relationship are more important to me than a damn job. I can get another.” A department in a different city would be better, anyway.
Talia’s eyes pop open before she knocks my hand from her chin and shoves my shoulder. “No! I knew I couldn’t trust another cop, so I cheated on you! Don’t you get it? I’m fucking over the police this time!”
The cool night air chills me through my department jacket. Staring at Talia’s beautiful face and searching for signs of this being a sick and twisted joke, I notice the sparkle in her eyes has vanished. Talia’s betrayal and the finality of us hits me, and I can’t fight my breakdown anymore.
I let my tears fall. “I’m sorry I hurt you, but what you did…” Two barking dogs in the quiet neighborhood bolster my uneven statements and restrained sobs. “It’s unforgivable.”
Bowing my head, I try to pull myself together but can’t. My cell phone buzzes in my pocket, but I ignore it. Slight gasps join mine, surprising me, and I look up to see Talia’s tears. Shaking her head, she whispers, “I’m sorry, Dylan.”
Catching my breath, I utter, “Happy birthday since I won’t see you for it.” I clear my throat, but a weak moan escapes as the pain floods me.
Astounding me again, Talia’s hands go to my jaw, and she quietly mops my cheeks. On her tiptoes, she hovers next to my lips, whispering, “You’ll always be my favorite thing I got wrong.” Talia rubs her nose over mine. My ragged breaths don’t improve as Talia’s also deteriorate.
“Our lives won’t work together, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t still die a thousand deaths for you. I wouldn’t do that for anyone else.”
“I don’t believe you.” I pry her hands from my shoulders, but Talia grabs me again, her wet eyes falling to my lips. I should run. I should go to Priority and do my damn job that I fight so hard to keep on an average day. But when she looks up at me, I’m incapable of moving.
Talia’s fingers drag along my jaw as tears splash her jacket. “I’m sorry, Dylan,” she softly repeats several times. “Promise me you’ll have a good life.” She says this as if she’s giving a food order between gasps and sobs.
“Until tonight, I thought it’d be with you. So, no. I won’t promise you shit.”
Talia’s eyes widen as if she’s never considered that. “You’re not serious.”
“I guess you’ll never know.”
Talia sobs but cuts herself off, kissing me. I don’t fight it. I just stand there. With her growing fervor that I neither can match nor walk away from, I give in, and my hands go to her face, feeling her tears. Why in the hell is she crying? She willingly shattered me.
With heat rivaling our earlier fuck, Talia grabs my jacket and tugs me toward her, walking me along her car. Her tongue initiates an impossible battle against mine she’ll no doubt win. Vaguely, I hear a car door open, and Talia stumbles before leaving my mouth to get into the back seat.
I stand there, drowning in the breakup with the woman I love. I wish I could stop loving her. And though I’m crying, I’m stunned more than anything. Maybe tomorrow will be different. Maybe I’ll wake up to find this was a nightmare. Maybe I’ll wish I could live this moment all over again.
Kneeling on the seat, Talia yanks on my jacket. I resist, but I don’t have the desire or need to ask why. Even if I don’t have a prayer, I must cling to the last shreds of my dignity and sanity. There’s no way I’ll be the same Dylan McGrath after tonight.
; When she releases my jacket and strips off her top, my dignity and sanity take a hike. I climb into the car, shoving against Talia so she’ll make room. When I shut the door, Talia looks at me, her eyes filled with sadness. Gripping Talia, not giving her an option to move, grief, anger, and a wounded ego drive me into a forceful kiss. Being in the car with her is unforgiving and all for me. What will it accomplish? Prove that I can shove aside the complications and fuck for the hell of it. According to her, she did just that earlier tonight, but it’s something I have never done…until now.
The more impatient I become, the louder Talia moans into my mouth. But this kiss doesn’t affect me the same way until Talia’s hands go to my fly, and with sudden urgency, she clutches my balls as she unzips me. I was numb until I felt her touch, then my limp dick hardens in her hand, throbbing like nothing I’ve experienced.
With renewed fire, Talia pulls out my dick through my uniform pants opening. I continue to kiss her but do nothing else. I’m only here to get laid. Without leaving my lips, she moves around, pulling down her pants. Annoyed she’s taking charge after demolishing me, I stop kissing her to irritably swing her to face the front seats. Talia grips the headrests to steady herself and then pushes on her pants. When I don’t react, her hands go to her ass, spreading her cheeks. “Fuck my cunt.”
I yank her backward to make her sit on me. I want to make this fast, so I can leave. I pull her down until I feel her wet lips, and then she slams herself down until I’m balls deep.
“Oh, yeah, Dylan,” she pants as I jerk her to my chest, back to front. Talia lies against me, disregarding my radio, badge, body camera, and the tactical gear on the front of my belt. My Glock is on my hip, away from her, but she doesn’t seem to care at the moment. As much as I want to hate her and not care, I can’t. So, I’m fucking away my misery with the source of my despair while dying a drawn-out and agonizing death I wanted to give her ex.
Talia hooks an arm behind my head, and I thrust my hands up her sweatshirt, angrily pushing her bra out of the way. I cram her tits into my hands while Talia rests her free hand close to my badge.
Rebel Rook: An Everyday Heroes World Novel (The Everyday Heroes World) Page 28
