by Piper Rayne
As my family starts arguing about it and the woman grows quiet, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
Seattle? Layover? Two years ago?
Fuck.
Denver might not have been in Seattle, but I was. I had a layover right before flying to New York and then on to Florence. There was a snowstorm out east and I remember being pissed about it because I had to call my new mentor in Italy and tell him I’d be a day late.
I examine the woman in front of me again. Her green doll-like eyes had to be what captured me first. I’d remember those, wouldn’t I? The thought triggers something in my mind and déjà vu hits me like a brick to the head. I’ve said that to someone before—doll eyes.
My mind was all over the place that night. The fear that my mentor would say the hell with you. The fear of leaving my family for so long. The fear of my dream being only a few flights away but being delayed once again.
“Holy shit.”
Denver’s head whips around with wide eyes and blanches when he sees my expression. “You?”
The sound of a chair scraping across the floor breaks my trance. Austin stands, walking over to us. “I’m sure we can figure out what’s going on here,” he says, taking control.
I’m surprised Savannah hasn’t demanded a paternity test and kicked her out before any further talks commence. And I haven’t heard this much silence from G’Ma D since our parents’ funeral.
“Can I talk to you in the back?” I ask Harley.
“It’s admirable that you want to help your brother out here, but Denver is the father.” Her eyes narrow on Denver and he coughs like he might vomit all over my new floor.
“About that…”
She tilts her head, waiting for me to fill in the blanks. “I saw him on the news. He’s the pilot and unlike him, I remember his face and his name,” she finally says when she gets tired of waiting for me to speak again.
“Well…” I run a hand across the back of my neck, gripping tight enough to spur me to speak the truth.
Denver stares at me, his eyes conveying that he’s not taking one for the team this round.
“I gave you his name in Seattle.” I blow out a breath again. “It’s this thing we used to do when we were younger. He’d tell girls he was me and I’d do the same. It’s stupid, I know.”
The entire room groans. Whispers commence between all of them questioning when I’ll grow up.
She blinks a few times staring between the two of us. For a new mother, she’s sure got the disappointed look down already. “Unbelievable.”
“I didn’t think we’d see each other again.”
“So why give me your twin brother’s name then?” She swings the baby around to rest on her other hip like a pro. Of course, she’s a pro she’s been doing this for a while now.
It’s then that the realization that I’m a dad and my daughter is right in front of me hits me. A heavy feeling invades my chest and before this moment if you’d asked me I’d have told you it’s because I don’t want to be a father. But instead it’s the fact that I’ve missed out on a helluva lot in my daughter’s life.
A million questions rattle my brain. Why is Harley here now? Why not before? Is she here for money? Has she been looking for me for two years and does she want a relationship? Like an instant family. I’m not one to settle down. Regardless, we need to clear some things up now and the last thing I want is my family more involved than they already are.
“Can we talk?” I step forward toward Harley and the baby.
Holly rushes over with a cleaned mitten and Harley thanks her with a tentative half smile.
“There’s no need for that. All I need from you is a swab of your DNA.” She shifts the baby again and digs into her purse, handing a business card to me. “Go there. They have the instructions.”
“WAIT!” I call out.
She stops but doesn’t turn around.
“What’s her name?”
The room silences and she pauses for a moment as though she’s not going to tell me.
“Calista,” she finally says and leaves like she didn’t just up-end my life.
Three
Harley
I wait until I’m around the corner of Main Street, outside a diner before I lean my back against the wall and finally breathe.
“Sweetie, that might’ve been hardest thing Mommy’s ever had to do. Well, other than all the hours of labor, but I got you, so it was a win.”
Calista giggles and pats my cheeks like she was doing in the restaurant. I love the fact she unknowingly kept me from going ballistic after discovering a new fact about her father—he’s a liar.
“Oh, I’ve seen that look before.” A blonde-haired woman surprises me to my right. She’s in a turquoise diner uniform with pink polka dot fringe around the collar and sleeves. “Come on in. Pie’s on me.”
Her smile is welcoming and right now after a bunch of strangers’ judgmental eyes trained on me, I could use someone who might be Team Harley. At the very least she has pie. I glance to her black name tag and find ‘Karen’ printed there in white.
“Thank you. Pie sounds great, but I’ll buy it myself.” I follow her through the open door.
“Can you believe we have snow this late in the winter? I guess that’s what we get for living in Alaska. Are you new in town?” Karen grabs a menu and lifts a highchair, leading us to a table in the back of the diner. “May I?” she asks, holding her hands out for Calista.
She’s only growing heavier and this lady seems like she gets my struggle, though I know nothing about her. “Thank you,” I murmur, handing Calista over and shrugging off my now wet coat.
“Oh, she’s adorable. I keep nagging my daughter to give me a grandbaby.”
“Nagging is putting it lightly. She just got engaged. Give her a minute.” A man behind the counter circles around with a warm welcoming smile, obviously teasing Karen.
She shoos him away and rolls her eyes. He nods like ‘listen to me.’
They’re cute.
“Anyway.” She secures the belt around Calista and ruffles her hair. “What kind of pie would you like?”
I glance over the menu. The meal Selena made was better than I thought, but I’m kind of hungry. Or my emotions are starving. Isn’t that always the case? “I’ll have an order of fries and how about the blueberry pie?” I ask Calista whose eyes are busy staring at the man at the counter.
I turn to find him covering his face with his hands and sticking his tongue out when he removes them. Calista lets out a laugh that rings through the entire diner.
“And I’m the one who wants a grandbaby so bad,” Karen laughs, shaking her head at the man. “I’ll be right back. Drink? Coffee?”
“Please. Decaf though.” Long gone are the days I could drink caffeine after dinner. When your time schedule revolves around an eighteen-month-old, it’s early to bed, early to rise.
She nods and disappears.
I hear the man behind me talking to Karen about how cute Calista is. I dig in my bag to pull out her soft cloth book and set it in front of her. She immediately touches the cow that’s embroidered there and says ‘moo.’
“Oh, she knows her animals already?” Karen flips the cup on the table and fills the coffee. “I remember being so worried about my daughter hitting all those milestones.”
“Yeah. I never thought I’d be reciting the alphabet this early and hoping it clicks. I mean she doesn’t even use a toilet yet.”
Karen laughs. “The pressure on mothers is intense.” She eyes my hand as I reach for the sugar. “Single mothers especially?”
I retract my hand for a moment. This woman is observant. I remind myself that I can’t trust anyone in this small town. What was I thinking?
“Actually, can we get our order to go?” I ask.
She frowns and glances over at the man who I’m assuming is also staring at us. This isn’t Seattle, this is some small-ass town in Alaska. They probably already know how I barged into a restaura
nt to find the father of my baby. I’m sure word travels quick around here.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.” Karen brings her hand to her heart. “I was a single mother and I just wanted to help you out. That’s all. I’m sorry if I overstepped. But please, stay in the warmth, eat your fries and let Brian keep Calista occupied with his peek-a-boo so you can have a moment to yourself.”
Her kind smile confirms my gut reaction outside. She’s a nice woman. I always go with my gut. Half the reason I went home with Denver, err… no, Rome. Man, that’s going to take some time to get used to. How many letters did I start by writing the name Denver at the top over the past couple of years?
“Thank you,” I say to Karen, mostly so she’ll stop staring at me with pity.
I’d usually scoff at someone looking at me like I’m some kind of project for them, but if she’s telling the truth and was a single mother, then she understands that over the past eighteen months the only peace and quiet I’ve had is when I’m at school or work. Not that I’d change a thing.
Calista’s head falls back, laughing at who I guess is Brian. I smile wondering what this town, these people look like through her eyes. Everything we’ve known is different and yet it’s still just us.
My phone dings inside my diaper bag, so I grab it.
Miranda: Did you do the deed?
Me: You say that like it’s a pleasurable experience.
Miranda: You available to talk?
Me: No. Too many ears where I’m at. Later tonight?
Miranda: But you saw him?
Me: By him if you mean Rome not Denver, yeah.
Miranda: You lost me?
Me: Denver IS Rome. They’re twins who like to play games with the women they sleep with.
Miranda: Like they switched spots on you midway thru the night?
Sometimes I wonder about Miranda.
Me: I’d know if someone switched spots.
Miranda: But if they’re identical, think about it. You’re passed out on the bed from one guy and then he slides out of the room and his IDENTICAL brother comes in. I mean you said you guys did it how many times that night? I always thought you were exaggerating. I mean a man…
Me: Thanks for taking me on a trip through your warped brain.
Miranda: Anytime. You know my delusion is your delusion.
Me: I think he has a big family.
Miranda: Do identical twins have the same DNA? How would you really know for sure whether it was Denver or Rome?
I roll my eyes. My best friend has a hard time staying on topic.
Me: I have no idea but since I only slept with ONE of them I’m not worried about it.
Miranda: How’s Calista doing? I miss my chubby-cheeked girl.
I glance over to find her now playing peek-a-boo. She’s a kidnapper’s dream. All it takes is a game of hide and seek and she’s in love with you. I see the man is now back behind the counter pretending he’s riding an escalator or walking down a set of stairs. He’s bringing out the big guns.
Me: She’s good. Already has admirers.
Miranda: Of course, she does. I’m telling you, she’ll break hearts.
I nod and start typing my response.
Me: I just need to get out of this town….
Screw it. I press her number and she picks up.
“I can’t keep texting you. I’m exhausted and my fingers hurt,” I whine.
Karen slides the fries in front of me and silently points to the ketchup on the table. Then she sits down and grabs a clean fork, putting a little pie on it and holding it out to Calista.
Calista sees it and her eyes widen immediately. Seriously, I warn her all the time about strangers and how to be wary of anyone we don’t know.
“You sound tired,” Miranda says.
“I am, but I’ll be home soon.”
“When?” Miranda asks and I can tell I’m on speakerphone now. In the background, I hear some soft music and a few grunts and moans.
“Are we alone?” I ask.
“No worries, my client has headphones in.”
I chuckle.
She’s back in Seattle another step closer to becoming a registered massage therapist and I’m here in Alaska trying to get a guy who gave me the wrong name to give me his DNA.
“I don’t even want to know how you managed to text me. I’ll let you go. We can chat tomorrow.” The fries are calling my name and serving as a welcome distraction from the curveball life has thrown me.
“Yeah, I probably should go. I don’t think this guy understands that this isn’t a happy-ending parlor.”
I hear the man’s voice which makes me wonder whether he really had his headphones in or not. They begin to argue, and I hang up to enjoy my greasy fried potatoes in silence. Well, not silence because Brian has brought a chair over and he and Karen are enjoying entertaining Calista. They do both the train and the plane with Calista opening up like she’s the easiest baby ever.
Try feeding her squash or green beans and then see how accommodating she is.
“That a friend?” Karen asks, her gaze falling to the phone.
“Yeah.” I dip my fry in ketchup.
I look around the diner figuring this woman must have other patrons, but all the booths are empty, so I guess she’s got all the time in the world.
“She from here?”
“No.” I shake my head.
“Man-da?” Calista points and screams when my phone lights up with my friend’s picture on it.
I click the ignore button before they can follow her line of vision.
“Are you new to Lake Starlight?” Karen asks, but there’s hesitancy in her tone. She’s worried she’s going to scare me off.
“I’m just here for a couple of days.”
“I thought so. I’d remember this little one.” Karen inches closer to Calista and scrunches her nose.
I smile. Brian looks oddly familiar. Do I know him? Of course, I don’t.
The three of us sit there while I eat my French fries and let Calista be our entertainment. Sometimes it’s easier with her around. She takes the pressure off making awkward conversation with people.
“Are you staying at Glacier Point?” Brian asks. “We know the—”
“Cozy Cottage B&B,” I say before realizing I gave these people information they could use to track us down.
Okay Benson. Cool it. This isn’t an episode of Law & Order: SVU.
“Oh, Selene’s the best. He went to high school with her,” Karen points to Brian.
“She’s always been eccentric, but she’s kind. I’m sure you’ll enjoy your stay,” he says. “Plus, she’s on the outskirts of town so you won’t be bothered by all the tourists.”
“Tourists? Is Lake Starlight a big enough town for that? It seems small.” I bite down on a fry, unsure of why I’m asking questions that don’t matter to me.
Karen glances back to Brian. “People like small towns. But with snow still coming, my guess is Glacier is filled. Wyatt was just telling me the other day about record bookings this winter…”
Karen nods at him. It’s clear they must know the owner of Glacier Point.
“And with all the shops downtown, I’m sure my nephew’s new restaurant will grab some attention, what with him studying culinary arts in Europe before he moved back home.”
“Nephew?” I choke on my fry, coughing to get the potato back up.
Brian gives me a second to gather myself before he continues. “Yeah, it hasn’t opened yet. He’s actually having the entire family over there tonight, but Karen was called in at the last minute and we’re a duo now so…”
“I told you to stay there,” she says, shaking her head at him in a way that shows she tried more than a few times.
“Not without you. We’ll experience it together,” he pats her knee and she looks at him like he’s her savior.
What must that feeling be like? I wouldn’t know. I’ve only ever had myself to depend on.
“What’s the
name of the restaurant?” I ask.
Surely, there are two restaurants about to open who had a large table full of people tonight in them, right?
“Terra and Mare.”
“Denver, err… Rome is your nephew?” I ask, grabbing Calista’s book and tossing it in my diaper bag.
“Both of them, yeah.” He smiles like a proud father. “Do you know them?” His gaze falls to Calista.
I grab our jackets, swing my diaper bag over my shoulder and pluck her up, but her belt keeps her restrained.
She chants ‘Mama’ over and over and starts crying.
“Here.” Karen unbuckles the strap. “Are we missing something?”
I glance back, getting Calista free, my heart racing as I swing her up into my arms.
“Thank you for everything,” I say, digging cash out of my bag and tossing it on the booth.
“Wait,” Karen calls out, but I push open the door and walk as far away as fast as I can.
I stop once we’re around the corner to place Calista on the ground and then hunch down to put her coat on. “If you weren’t the most important person in the world to me, we’d never have come here.”
Calista steps into me, her head falling to my shoulder. I pick up her and order up an Uber wishing it could drive me all the way back to Seattle tonight. Adulting sucks!
Four
Rome
I stand slack-jawed watching the little girl stare over her mom’s shoulder, her green eyes wide with curiosity as they leave my restaurant. The edges of the small card poke my palm as I crush it in my fist.
“What the hell is that?” Denver’s gaze falls to the card that’s now a ball of paper. I open my palm and he takes it out. “It’s for some diagnostic place in Anchorage.”
