by Piper Rayne
He chuckles, turning us out of Lake Starlight and onto the highway. My stomach clenches knowing that Calista is getting farther and farther away from me.
“It’s a smaller-ish town, so most of it’s hearsay. Plus, the town can be boring. Denver, Liam, and I tend to find our own fun.”
I turn toward him. His long fingers are still strumming on the steering wheel. “You didn’t answer the question.”
His lips turn up in a ‘you got me’ expression. He shrugs. “What’s your definition of bad boy?”
“No way. You’re not throwing the question back my way to dodge answering.”
He chuckles again, the sound filling the entire cab of the truck, wrapping around me like a warm blanket. Is this why I slept with him years ago? Was his flirtatiousness this alluring then, too? Probably.
“If your interpretation of bad boy is sleeping with a different woman every night, then no, I’m not a bad boy.”
I huff and roll my eyes.
“I’m not saying I’m a saint. When I sleep with women, I don’t want a relationship out of it, so it’s strictly about the sex. But I’m not down at Lucky’s every night picking women up.” He glances to his side at me, passing a semi on his right. “I get that’s hard to believe given our history. I usually seek out female companionship when I’m pissed or upset.”
“Female companionship?”
“Would you rather me say fuck buddy?”
I shake my head.
“Don’t worry, I’m not a head case. I’m fully aware of my reasons for doing it.”
“Which is?”
He glances over, easing back into the right lane. “Women tend to help me forget what I’m upset about. It’s really that simple.”
“You don’t have sex when you’re happy?”
“Depends where I am. If I’m with my brother or Liam, we tend to do stupid shit when we’re happy. Stupid shit that involves the Sheriff.”
“Yeah, you might be pretty high on the bad-boy spectrum.”
I try and let the majestic view of the mountains push the thought that men like Rome Bailey aren’t ones to settle down from my mind. Throughout the years, there have been more men than I can count who I thought I could change. I’m not going to add Rome to that list.
That’s why Shane is so easy. He knows what he wants, wears his feelings open for anyone to see. He’s stable and good. Predictable.
“What about you?”
“What?” I push Shane out of my head for now.
“You slept with me that night. Are you a bad girl?”
“I learned a long time ago that sex is sex. I think I have every right to enjoy it with whoever I want. There doesn’t have to be strings attached.”
“And here we are two years after our no strings attached one-night stand with a thick bungee cord attaching us. Calista will always bond us together.”
What Rome knows as truth I only came to realize a few days ago. The closer I saw him and Calista become, the more I realized that he can’t remove himself from her life. That my little girl deserves her father. She deserves to have everything I didn’t get.
“True.” I glance out the window, wondering what the future will bring us. How will we manage the distance? Co-parenting? Finances?
“Let’s get this test over with and then we’ll head to a restaurant and talk about our plans.”
Rome surprises me by almost reading my mind. I can’t keep living in limbo. I have to get back to school and work before I don’t have either one left.
I have to get back to my real life.
Twelve
Rome
I order for both of us at my favorite seafood restaurant that looks out over the Gulf of Alaska. It’s a no-frills, plastic-tablecloths-on-wooden-tables kind of place where they drop crab legs on the table with plastic cups of butter and cocktail sauce.
“I should call Selene.” Harley reaches for her phone.
“I texted her while you were in the restroom. Calista is sleeping.”
She inspects her phone and nods. “Naptime.”
“Yeah.” I don’t know our daughter’s schedule as well as Harley, but I’m starting to.
She concentrates on the few fishing boats coming in and out of the port. “It’s really beautiful here.”
I stare at her and I could be cheesy and do the ‘she’s the beautiful’ scene, but I don’t think she’d respond well to that. Plus, it’s clear that if I want this co-parenting thing to work out, a sexual relationship isn’t the best place to start.
But it’s easy to see why I slept with her that night. She’s gorgeous in a girl-next-door-with-the-edge way. She tucks her feelings twelve layers deep and I don’t think she’d ever admit she’s hurting and to hell with anyone seeing her vulnerability.
The past couple of years couldn’t have been easy. I’m struggling with keeping up with the restaurant and they’ve only been in my life a week.
“So, the massage therapy thing? How much longer do you have to earn your degree?” I straighten back in my chair.
Her eyes find mine, leaving the scene of the hardworking fishermen anchoring their boats to the pier. “I have one more class, but when Calista got sick, I had to push it aside.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shakes her head. “Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault.”
“Still.” I straighten my silverware on the table.
I desperately want to tell her about the research I did, but I’m not sure how she’ll react.
“The shitty part is my friend, Miranda, just graduated. She’s already working and I’m kind of jealous, you know?”
“I have a friend who’s a top chef in a renowned restaurant in New York. I get it. I took the long route of touring Europe, learning and refining my culinary skills, while he practically jumped out of culinary school into this spot. Here I am opening up a restaurant in Lake Starlight. But comparison is the thief of joy as they say.”
She nods. “I tell myself that. I would never change anything. That night. Not Calista. She truly is the best thing to happen to me. It’s just…”
“What?” I lean in closer because the more she shares, the lower her voice becomes, and I don’t want her to stop talking. I love that she trusts me this much, to let me know what she’s thinking.
“Me getting my massage therapy certificate can change our life. I could be home more nights, we’d be able to move out of our tiny little apartment we’re in and maybe rent something better. I feel like my life has stalled.”
I can’t relate to that. I’ve been go-go-go my entire life. Mostly because settling down means boring. Returning to Lake Starlight was a tough decision because I knew wherever I opened a restaurant would mean a permanent residence. I finally concluded that if I was going to have a permanent residence, I was going to have it in my hometown with my family.
I decide to go with my usual philosophy in life, which in a nutshell is, fuck it.
“I looked up local massage therapy classes.” The words tumble out of my mouth quickly.
Her face twists and she picks up her water, her cheeks indenting from her deep suck on her straw. She’s not making this easy on me, is she?
“Why?”
“Because I want you to stay here.”
There. I threw it out there. I’m not opposed to being vulnerable. And I don’t think it makes me less of a man to admit that I want my daughter in my life. I want her to grow up in Lake Starlight.
“Rome,” Harley sighs. “We have a life—”
“What kind of life? You can bartend for me and if you don’t want to do that than I’ll find you something else. You can finish your classes in massage therapy. I have eight siblings and a town filled with people who would help. What’s in Seattle that’s not here?”
She twists her head to stare at the fishermen again. My eyes stay on her. A rush of emotions flit over her face and I bet she has no idea how transparent she is. I’d bet Terra and Mare that she thinks she masks all her feelings, but
I see them.
“There’s something you need to know. Something I haven’t told you.”
My gut twists and as her head slowly circles back my way. It’s clear that whatever she’s about to tell me is going to change this newfound relationship of ours.
“I have… there’s someone… I’m dating a guy back in Seattle.”
Whoosh.
I swear a tsunami just slammed into me leaving me gasping for air. How did I not consider this? I may not be dating anyone, but that doesn’t mean Harley is some celibate woman. She’s beautiful, of course she’s found a guy.
“Oh,” is all I can say.
She leans forward. “I mean, it’s not serious, but it’s not casual either.”
“He knows why you’re here?”
She nods.
“Does she….” My voice cracks. “Does Calista think of him as her—”
“No.” She shakes her head and leans over the table with pleading eyes. “It’s not like that. They’ve met and you know her, no one is a stranger.”
Sourness fills my stomach and I swallow back the bile rising up my throat.
The waitress comes over and dumps the crab legs in the middle of the table. She politely smiles and asks if we need anything else. Harley shakes her head, her lips tipping down. I stare down at the plastic tablecloth, trying my best to wrap my thoughts around this boyfriend thing. I thought I had a good case to keep her here. I realize now that I have nothing.
“Can he give you a good life back in Seattle?” I ask, pushing the jealousy of his relationship with Calista to the wayside.
“He’s a lawyer.”
“Of course, he is.” The words come out before I realize it.
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing.”
“Please understand…”
I pick up a crab leg and start cracking it open. “I do.”
She sulks back in her chair. “I didn’t think it pertained to you. I mean, that’s my life and we’re still finding new ground here.”
“And in the last week, you didn’t think to tell me you had a boyfriend? Someone permanent in Calista’s life?” Even I hear the bitterness in my tone. Where is this jealousy coming from? This is about Calista, not Harley. Not about us becoming a family, it’s about me being a father. I sure as hell can’t do that with her in Seattle and Calista seeing some lawyer douche more than me.
“Rome, you’re being immature about this.”
I pull out a large piece of crab and place it on her plate. “You’d be okay if I had a girlfriend and hid it from you?” Yeah, okay I can see now that I’m being a jackass. We’ve known each other a week. I need to tamp down the shit talking. “Never mind. Let’s just eat and figure this out. So, I can’t very well convince you to stay here to finish your degree… when do you plan on going back to lawyer boy?”
“Rome,” she sighs again.
“Sorry… Seattle. When are you going back?”
She picks at the crab, dipping it into the melted butter.
“In two days.”
My stomach sinks down to my toes. “And you probably don’t plan on coming back?”
I leave this all to business because everything I conjured up in my mind the last few days has flown out the open window like a pile of papers.
“Maybe at some point, but it’s not like I have a job with vacation time.”
“Yeah, I get it.” I stare down at my plate. “I’ll figure out a way to get to you, but can we at least promise to FaceTime a few times a week?”
It feels like such a cheap substitute compared to the week I’ve gotten to spend with my daughter.
“Definitely. I don’t want to strip her out of your life. And Shane—”
I quirk an eyebrow. “The lawyer?”
She nods. “He’s not her father, nor does he act like one. There are no worries there.”
“Okay.” He might though—someday.
She buries her head in the crab, every once in a while glancing up to check that I’m okay.
Yeah, I’m doing great over here. I’ve been introduced to and had my daughter ripped away from me in the span of a week. Shit is just stellar.
My leg shakes under the table, trying to relieve some of this pent up frustration. I need to get away from her. Find a place for these feelings inside of me. How can I be jealous of some guy I’ve never even met? Why do I care?
Calista, I think to myself. This tornado of feelings inside is only about my daughter.
Yeah, I’ll just keep telling myself that. Sooner or later I’m bound to believe it.
Thirteen
Harley
The doorbell of the Cozy Cottage B&B rings. Since I hear “Heart of Gold” by Neil Young coming from Selene’s studio, I’m guessing she’s pretty busy making her art, so I pick up Calista from her pile of big blocks that Rome bought her a few days ago and carry her to the door.
Peeking through, I bite my lips and open the door. “Hi.”
“Come.” Dori plucks Calista from my arms and points to herself. “Grandma Dori.”
Calista, who’s already familiar with her, touches her blue-tinted hair.
“Yeah, you’re the only one I’d allow to touch my hair after seeing my hairdresser.” She smiles at my daughter like she’s loved her since the day she was born.
That’s the oddest part of all this—these people love my daughter because she shares their DNA. I get that she’s a child, and not hard to fall in love with. But I swear they all feel bonded to her already. I can’t help but love that she’ll have the one thing I didn’t have growing up—a family who appreciates and most of all wants her.
Except they’ll be thousands of miles away. The thought makes me frown.
“Listen, I was going to kidnap you…” Dori starts.
My eyes widen and she puts her hand up.
“Not kidnap really. But I was going to get you in my car and then take you somewhere.”
“I think I’ll take Calista back.” I hold out my arms.
She pushes my arm down. “Rome told me you’re leaving tomorrow, and Calista really hasn’t had a chance to meet her aunts. You can thank me for that because I threatened them with dismemberment if they started harassing you to see Calista. You and Rome needed time to sort through everything first. Anyway, I was going to trick you into going over to Holly and Austin’s for some brunch. But Savannah said that was no way of staying in your good graces, so here I am being upfront and honest.”
“And it looks like you’re highly annoyed by that fact?” I giggle.
“I like to do things my way, but Savannah had a point.” She leans forward like Savannah is nearby. “Never tell her I said that.”
“Okay.”
“Okay, you’ll come? Willingly?”
I shake my head. “No. We’re not going.”
“See this is why I should’ve just tricked you. Listen, you’ll have fun and it’s a small break before having to go back to Seattle where you’re with Calista twenty-four seven. We have some wine and Holly’s a decent cook. She’s not me, but I’m here to get you, so I couldn’t do both. Please? These are her aunts…” She shuts the door behind her, following me into the living room.
“Doodoo,” Calista pats Dori’s head.
“No Doodoo,” Dori says.
I bite my lip to keep from smiling.
Calista lays her head on her shoulder. “Doodoo,” she says softly.
“Why is she saying that? Did she go to the bathroom?” Dori turns her and peeks into the back of her diaper. “Nope.”
“Um.”
“Doodoo!” Calista says, more excited now.
“No Doodoo!” Dori says staring at me baffled.
“I think she’s calling you Doodoo because she can’t pronounce Dori maybe?”
Her mouth opens and she stares at me slack-jawed. “Oh, no. I already have people comparing me to that damn fish. I will not let my first great-grandchild call me Doodoo.” She points to herself. “We’re changing gea
rs. Nana.”
“Doodoo!”
Dori points to herself again. “Nana.”
“Doodoo.” Calista wiggles in her arms, ready to get down.
“Okay, just for that you’re coming with me.” She grabs my jacket off the hook and throws it at me.
“What happened to staying in my good graces? You’ve lost all your manners with me.”
“Then you should feel honored because I’m treating you like family.” She grabs Calista’s coat, sets her on the ground, and bends down to put it on her. “NANA is going to put on your coat.” She screams Nana like that’s going to make a difference. Calista is as stubborn as me and that name isn’t going to change until she’s older.
“I don’t have a car seat. We’ll have to walk.”
“Oh, no. I have my car and I bought us a car seat.”
“Us?”
“Yeah.” She opens the door and I see a huge, older model Cadillac parked in the driveway. Something like Elvis drove once upon a time. “Mum is the word because I’m only allowed to drive until dusk.”
“Who told you that?”
“Sheriff Miller,” she whispers again. “We have an understanding.” She winks.
Great. I’m going to put my daughter in harm’s way.
“Maybe I could drive the car? I mean you can tell me where to go and I’ll drive. I really missed driving this week.”
She narrows her eyes. “I’m a good driver.”
I wave off her worries. “I know you are, but this way you can sit in the back with Calista and keep her busy.”
Her eyes light up. “Perfect.” She hands me the keys and I’m shocked it was as easy as that was. Maybe Dori’s right about this tricking people thing.
“I’m just going to scribble a note for Selene.” I head into the kitchen and jot a quick note for her and put it by the teapot.
“It has to be getting costly staying here,” Dori says as we leave the house and walk down the path to her Cadillac.
“Yeah. If I come up again, I might need to figure something else out.”
I’ve yet to pay the final bill which will take my last paycheck from the hotel bar.
