Now when Ali entered with the clothes and the carrier-pigeons, Hassan Shouman gave the hall-keeper the price of forty pigeons and he bought them and cooked them before the men. Presently there came a knock at the door and Ahmed ed Denef said to the hall-keeper, ‘That is Delileh’s knock: rise and open to her.’ So he admitted her and Hassan said to her, ‘What brings thee hither, O ill-omened old woman? Verily, thou and thy brother Zureic the fish-monger are of a piece!’ ‘O captain,’ answered she, ‘I am in the wrong and my neck is at your mercy; but tell me which of you it was that played me this trick?’ Quoth Ahmed, ‘It was the first of my lads.’ ‘For God’s sake,’ rejoined Delileh, ‘intercede with him to give me back the carrier-pigeons and what not, and thou wilt lay me under great obligation.’ When Hassan heard this, he said to Ali, ‘God requite thee, O Ali! Why didst thou cook the pigeons?’ And Ali answered, ‘I knew not that they were carrier-pigeons.’ Then said Ahmed to the hall-keeper, ‘Bring us the cooked pigeons.’ So he brought them and Delileh took a piece and tasting it, said, ‘This is none of the carrier-pigeons’ flesh, for I fed them on grains of musk and their flesh is become even as musk.’ Quoth Hassan, ‘An thou wilt have the carrier-pigeons, comply with Ali’s desire.’ ‘What is that?’ asked she, and Hassan answered, saying, ‘He would have thee marry him to thy daughter Zeyneb.’ ‘I have no power over her except of affection,’ said she; and Hassan said to Ali, ‘Give her the pigeons.’ So he gave them to her, and she took them and rejoiced in them.
Then said Hassan to her, ‘Needs must thou give us a sufficient answer.’ ‘If it be indeed his wish to marry her,’ replied Delileh, ‘it availed nothing to play this trick upon us: it behoveth him rather to demand her in marriage of her uncle Captain Zureic, him who cries out, saying, “A pound of fish for two farthings!” and hangs up in his shop a nurse containing two thousand dinars; for he is her guardian.’ When the forty heard this, they all rose and cried out, saying, ‘What manner of talk is this, O strumpet? Dost thou wish to bereave us of our brother Ali of Cairo?’ Then she returned to the khan and said to her daughter, ‘Ali the Egyptian seeks thee in marriage.’ Whereat Zeyneb rejoiced, for she loved him because of his forbearance towards her, and asked her mother what had passed. So she told her, adding, ‘I made it a condition that he should demand thy hand of thine uncle, so I might make him fall into destruction.’
Meanwhile Ali turned to his fellows and said to them, ‘What manner of man is this Zureic?’ ‘He was chief of the sharpers of the land of Irak,’ answered they, ‘and could all but pierce mountains and lay hold upon the stars. He would steal the very kohl from the eye and in brief, be had not his match for roguery; but he hath repented and forsworn his old way of life and opened him a fish shop. Moreover, he has amassed two thousand dinars by the sale of fish and laid them in a purse with strings of silk, to which he has tied bells and rings and rattles of brass. Every time he opens his shop, he hangs up the purse on a peg within the door and cries out, saying, “Where are ye, o sharpers of Egypt, O cutters of Irak, O tricksters of the land of the Persians? Behold, Zureic the fishmonger hath hung up a purse in front of his shop, and whoso pretendeth to sleight and cunning and can take it by craft, it is his.” So the light-fingered gentry come and try to take the purse, but cannot; for he lays at his feet cakes of lead, whilst he fries his fish and tends the fire; and whenever a thief thinks to take him unawares and makes a snatch at the purse, he casts a disc of lead at him and kills him or does him a mischief. So, O Ali, wert thou to tackle him, thou wouldst be as one who jostles a funeral, unknowing who is dead; for thou art no match for him, and we fear his mischief for thee. Indeed, thou hast no call to marry Zeyneb, and he who leaves a thing alone lives without it.’ ‘This were shame, O comrades,’ answered Ali. ‘Needs must I take the purse: but bring me a woman’s habit.’
So they brought him women’s clothes and he clad himself therein and stained his hands with henna. Then he took a lamb and killing it, took out the guts and filled them with the blood and bound them between his thighs; after which he donned women’s trousers and walking boots. Moreover, he made himself a pair of false breasts with pelican’s pouches and filled them with milk and tied round his hips a piece of linen, which he stuffed with cotton, [to represent a big belly and buttocks], girding himself over all with a silk handkerchief well starched. Then he veiled himself and went out, whilst all who saw him exclaimed, ‘What a fine pair of buttocks!’ Presently he saw an ass-driver coming, so he gave him a dinar and mounting, rode till he came to Zureic’s shop, where he saw the purse hung up and the gold glittering through the meshes. Now Zureic was frying fish, and Ali said to the ass-man, ‘O driver, what is that smell?’ ‘It is the smell of Zureic’s fish,’ answered he. Quoth Ali, ‘I am with child and the smell irketh me; go, fetch me a piece of the fish.’ So the man said to Zureic, ‘What ails thee to fry fish so early and annoy pregnant women with the smell? I have here the wife of the Amir Hassan Sherr et Teric, and she is with child; so give her a piece of fish, for the child stirs in her belly. O Protector, O my God, avert from us this day’s mischief!’ So Zureic took a piece of fish and would have fried it, but the fire had gone out and he went in, to rekindle it.
Meanwhile Ali dismounted and sitting down, pressed upon the lamb’s gut till it burst and the blood ran out from between his legs. Then he cried out, saying, ‘O my back! o my side!’ Whereupon the driver turned and seeing the blood running, said, ‘What ails thee, O my lady?’ ‘I have miscarried,’ answered Ali, whereupon Zureic looked out and seeing the blood, was affrighted and fled into the [inner] shop. Quoth the driver, ‘God torment thee, O Zureic! The lady has miscarried and thou art no match for her husband. Why must thou make a stench so early in the morning? I bade thee bring her a piece, but thou wouldst not.’ So saying, he took his ass and went his way, whilst Ali put out his hand to the purse; but no sooner had he touched it than the bells and rings began to jingle and the gold to chink. Quoth Zureic, ‘Thy perfidy is discovered, O gallows-bird! Wilt thou put a cheat on me and thou in a woman’s habit? Take what cometh to thee!’ And he threw a cake of lead at him, but it went askew and lighted on another; whereupon the people rose against Zureic and said to him, ‘Art thou a tradesman or a swashbuckler? If thou be a tradesman, take down thy purse and spare the folk thy mischief.’ ‘In the name of God! On my head be it,’ answered he.
As for Ali, he made off to the barrack and told Hassan Shouman what had happened, after which he put off his woman’s clothes and donning a groom’s habit, took a dish and five dirhems. Then he returned to Zureic’s shop and the fishmonger said to him, ‘What dost thou want, my master?’ He showed him the five dirhems and Zureic would have given him of the fish in the tray, but he said, ‘I must have hot fish.’ So he put fish in the pan and finding the fire dead, went in to relight it; whereupon Ali put out his hand to the purse and caught hold of the end of it. The bells and rings and rattles jingled and Zureic said, ‘Thy trick hath not deceived me. I knew thee by the grip of thy hand on the dish and the dirhems, for all thou art disguised as a groom.’ So saying, he threw the lead at him, but he avoided it and it fell into the pan full of hot fish and broke it and overturned it, fat and all, upon the shoulders of the Cadi, who was passing. The fat ran down inside his clothes to his privy parts and he cried out, saying, ‘O my privities! What a pickle you are in! Alas, unhappy that I am! Who hath played me this trick?’ ‘O my lord,’ answered the people, ‘it was some boy that threw a stone into the pan: but for God’s protection, it had been worse.’ Then they turned and seeing the piece of lead and that it was Zureic who had thrown it, said to him, ‘O Zureic, this is not allowed of God! Take down the purse, or it will be the worse for thee.’ ‘If it please God,’ answered he, ‘I will take it down.’
Meanwhile, Ali returned to the barrack and told his comrades what had passed and they said, ‘Thou hast exhausted two-thirds of his sharpness.’ Then he changed his groom’s dress for that of a merchant and going out, met a snake-charmer, with a bag of serpen
ts and another of gear, to whom said he, ‘O charmer, come and amuse my lads, and thou shalt have largesse.’ So he accompanied him to the barrack, where he fed him and drugging him, took his clothes and put them on. Then he took the bagi and repairing to Zureic’s shop, began to play the flute. Quoth Zureic, ‘God provide thee!’ But Ali took out the serpents and cast them down before him; whereat the fish-seller, who was afraid of snakes, fled from them into the [inner] shop. Then Ali picked up the snakes and thrusting them back into the bag, put out his hard and caught hold of the end of the purse. The bells rang and the rings and rattles jangled, and Zureic said, ‘Wilt thou never cease to play me tricks? Now thou feignest thyself a serpent-charmer.’ So saying, he took up a piece of lead and hurled it at Ali; [but he avoided it,] and it fell on the head of a groom, who was passing by, in attendance upon his master, a trooper, and knocked him down. Quoth the soldier, ‘Who did that?’ And the folk said, ‘It was a stone fell from the roof.’ So the soldier passed on and the people, seeing the piece of lead, went up to Zureic and said to him, Take down the purse;’ and he said, ‘God willing, I will take it down this very night.’
Ali ceased not to play tricks upon Zureic, till he had made seven different attempts for the purse, but without success. Then he returned the snake-charmer his clothes and gear and gave him a present; after which he went back to Zureic’s shop and heard him say, ‘If I leave the purse here to-night, he will break in and take it; I will carrry it home with me.’ So he shut his shop and putting the purse in his sleeve, set out home, and Ali followed hin. till he came near his house, when he saw a wedding toward in a neighbour’s house and said in himself, ‘I will go home and give my wife the purse and change my clothes and return to the wedding.’ Now he was married to a black girl, one of the freed women of the Vizier Jaafer, and she had borne him a son, whom he named Abdallah, and he had promised her to spend the money in the purse on the occasion of the boy’s circumcision and marriage. So he went into his house and Ali, following him by stealth, stepped into a closet, whence he could hear and see all that passed. When Zureic entered, his wife saw that his face was overcast and asked him what had vexed him. Quoth he, ‘God hath afflicted me this day with a sharking fellow, who hath made seven attempts to get the purse, but without avail’ And she said, ‘Give it to me, that I may lay it up against the boy’s festival-day.’ So he gave her the purse and changed his clothes, saying, ‘Keep the purse safely, O Umm Abdallah, for I am going to the wedding.’ But she said, ‘Sleep awhile.’ So he lay down and fell asleep. Presently, Ali rose and going on tiptoe to the purse, took it and went to the house of the wedding and stood there, looking on.
Meanwhile, Zureic dreamt that he saw a bird fly away with the purse and awaking in affright, said to his wife, ‘Rise; look for the purse.’ So she looked and finding it gone, buffeted her face and said, ‘Alas, the blackness of thy fortune, O Umm Abdallah! A thief bath taken the purse.’ ‘By Allah,’ quoth Zureic, ‘it can be none othei than the rascal [who has plagued me all day!] He has followed me home and taken the purse; and needs must I go and get it back.’ ‘Except thou bring it,’ answered his wife, ‘I will lock the door on thee and leave thee to pass the night in the street.’ So he went up to the house of the wedding, and seeing Ali looking on, said to himself, ‘This is he who took the purse; but he lodges with Ahmed ed Denef.’ So he ran on before him to the barrack and climbing up at the back, made his way into the saloon, where he found every one asleep. Presently there came a knock at the door and Zureic said, ‘Who is there?’ ‘Ali of Cairo,’ answered the knocker; and Zureic said, ‘Hast thou brought the purse?’ Ali thought it was Hassan Shouman and answered, ‘Yes; open the door.’ Quoth Zureic, ‘I cannot open to thee till I see the purse; for the chief and I have laid a wager about it.’ ‘Put out thy hand,’ said Ali. So he put out his hand through the hole of the door and Ali laid the purse in it; whereupon Zureic took it and going forth, as he had come in, returned to the wedding.
Ali stood awhile at the door, but none opened to him; and at last he gave a thundering knock that awoke all the men and they said, ‘That was Ali of Cairo’s knock.’ So the hail-keeper opened to him and Hassan Shouman said to him, ‘Hast thou brought the purse?’ ‘Enough of jesting, O Shouman,’ replied All. ‘Didst thou not swear that thou wouldst not open to me till I showed thee the purse, and did I not give it thee through the hole of the door?’ ‘By Allah,’ said Hassan, ‘it was not I who took it, but Zureic!’ Quoth All, ‘Needs must I get it again,’ and repaired to the house of the wedding, where he heard the buffoon say, ‘Largesse, O Abou Abdallah I Good luck to thee with thy son!’ Quoth Ali, ‘My luck is in the ascendant,’ and going to the fishmonger’s house, climbed over the back wall and found his wife asleep. So he drugged her and clad himself in her clothes. Then he took the child in his arms and went round, searching, till he found a basket containing gimblet-cakes, which Zureic, of his niggardliness, had kept from the Feast of the New Moon. Presently, the fishmonger returned and knocked at the door, whereupon Ali imitated his wife’s voice and said, ‘Who is at the door?’ ‘Abou Abdallah,’ answered Zureic, and Ali said, ‘I swore that I would not open the door to thee, except thou broughtest back the purse.’ Quoth the fishmonger, ‘I have brought it.’ ‘Then give it into my band,’ said Ali, ‘before I open the door;’ and Zureic answered, saying, ‘Let down the basket and take it therein.’ So Ali let down the basket and the other put the purse therein, whereupon Ali took it and drugged the child. Then he aroused the woman and making off by the back way as he had entered, returned with the child and the purse and the basket of cakes to the barrack and showed them all to the forty, who praised his dexterity. Then he gave them the cakes, which they ate, and delivered the boy to Hassan Shouman, saying, ‘This is Zureic’s child; hide it.’ So he hid it and fetching a lamb, gave it to the hail-keeper, who cooked it whole, wrapped in a cloth, and laid it out, with a shroud over it, as it were a dead body.
Meanwhile Zureic stood awhile, waiting at the door then gave a thundering knock, and his wife said to him, ‘Hast thou brought the purse?’ ‘Didst thou not take it up in the basket but now?’ answered he, and she said, ‘I let no basket down to thee, nor have I set eyes on the purse.’ ‘By Allah,’ quoth he, ‘the sharper hath been beforehand with me and hath taken the purse again!’ Then he searched the house and found the basket of cakes gone and the child missing and cried out, saying, ‘Alas, my child!’ Whereupon the woman beat her breast and said, ‘I will complain of thee to the Vizier, for none has killed my child but this sharper, and all because of thee.’ Quoth Zureic, ‘I will answer for him.’ So he tied the kerchief [of truce] about his neck and going to Ahmed ed Denef’s lodging, knocked at the door. The hall-keeper admitted him and Hassan Shouman said to him, ‘What brings thee here?’ Quoth he, ‘Do ye intercede with Ali the Cairene to restore me my child and I will give him the purse.’ ‘God requite thee, O Ali!’ said Hassan. ‘Why didst thou not tell me it was his child?’ ‘What has befallen him?’ asked Zureic, and Hassan answered, saying, ‘We gave him raisins to eat, and he choked and died; and here he is.’ Quoth Zureic, ‘Alas, my child! What shall I say to his mother?’ Then he rose and opening the shroud, saw it was a lamb cooked whole and said, ‘Thou makest sport of me, O Ali!’ Then they gave him the child, and Ahmed ed Denef said to him, ‘Thou didst hang up the purse, proclaiming that it should be the property of any sharper who should avail to take it, and Ali has taken it; so it is his.’ Quoth Zureic, ‘I make him a present of it.’ But Ali said to him, ‘Do thou accept it on account of thy niece Zeyneb.’ And Zureic replied, ‘I accept it.’
Then said the forty, ‘We demand of thee Zeyneb in marriage for Ali of Cairo.’ But he answered, saying, ‘I have no control over her but of courtesy.’ Quoth Hassan, ‘Dost thou grant our suit?’ ‘Yes,’ replied he; ‘I will grant her in marriage to him who can avail to her dowry.’ ‘And what is her dowry?’ asked Hassan. Quoth Zureic, ‘She hath sworn that none shall mount her breast except he bring her the robe
of Kemer, daughter of Azariah the Jew, and her crown and girdle and pantable of gold.’ ‘If I do not bring her the robe this very night,’ said Ali, ‘I renounce my claim to her.’ ‘O Ali,’ rejoined Zureic, ‘if thou play any tricks on Kemer, thou art a dead man.’ ‘Why so?’ asked Ali, and the other said, ‘Her father Azariah is a skilful magician, wily and perfidious, and has the Jinn at his service. He has without the city a palace, the walls whereof are one brick of gold and one of silver and which is only visible to the folk whilst he is therein: but, when he goes forth, it disappears. He brought his daughter this robe I speak of from an enchanted treasure, and every day he lays it in a dish of gold and opening the windows of the palace, cries out, saying, “Where are the sharpers of Cairo, the cutters of Irak, the master-thieves of the land of the Persians? Whoso availeth to take this robe, it is his.” So all the light-fingered gentry essayed the adventure, but availed not to take it, and he turned them into apes and asses.’ But Ali said, ‘I will assuredly take it and Zeyneb shall be displayed therein.’
So he went to the shop of the Jew and found him a man of stern and forbidding aspect, seated with scales and weights and gold and silver and nests of drawers and so forth before him, and a mule tethered hard by. Presently he rose and shutting his shop, laid the gold and silver in*two purses, which he placed in a pair of saddle-bags and set on the mule’s back. Then he mounted and rode, followed, without his knowledge, by Ali, till he came some way without the city, when he took out a little dust from a purse he carried in his pocket and muttering over it certain magical words, sprinkled it in the air. No sooner had he done this than there appeared a palace, which had not its like, and the Jew mounted the steps without alighting; after which he dismounted and taking the saddle-bags off the mule’s back, dismissed the latter, which was a genie he had pressed into his service, and it vanished. Then he entered the palace and sat down, whilst Ali watched him from behind the door. Presently he arose and opening the lattices, took a wand of gold, [which he set up in the open window,] and hanging thereto a golden tray by chains of the same metal, laid in it the robe and cried out, saying, ‘Where are the sharpers of Cairo? Where are the cutpurses of Irak, the master-thieves of the land of the Persians? Whoso can take this robe by practice, it is his!’ Then he pronounced certain conjurations and behold, a tray of food spread itself before him. He ate and conjured a second time, whereupon the tray disappeared and a table of wine appeared in its stead, and he drank. Quoth Ali, ‘I know not how I am to take the robe, except if he be drunken.’
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