One Thousand and One Nights

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by Richard Burton


  So the Khalif turned the mound and going down to the river, drank and watered his mule: then he returned to Khelifeh and said to him, ‘Harkye, sirrah, what ails thee to stand here, and what is thy calling?’ Quoth the fisherman, ‘This is a stranger question than that about the water. Seest thou not the tools of my craft on my shoulder?’ ‘Belike thou art a fisherman?’ said the Khalif, and he answered, ‘Yes.’ ‘Where is thy gown?’ asked Er Reshid. ‘And where are thy waistcloth and girdle and [the rest of] thy clothes?’ Now these were the very things that Khelifeh had lost, like for like; so, when he heard the Khalif name them, he took it into his head that it was he who had stolen his clothes from the river bank and coming down from the top of the mound, swiftlier than the blinding lightning, laid hold of the mule’s bridle, saying, ‘Harkye, sirrah, give me back my things and leave jesting.’ ‘By Allah,’ replied Er Reshid, ‘I have not seen thy clothes, nor know I aught of them!’

  Now the Khalif had large cheeks and a small mouth; so Khelifeh said to him, ‘Belike, thou art a singer or a piper by trade? But give me back my clothes, without more ado, or I will belabour thee with this staff till thou bepiss thyself and foul thy hose.’ When Er Reshid saw the staff in the fisherman’s hand and that he had the vantage of him, he said in himself, ‘By Allah, I cannot brook half a blow of that staff from this mad beggar!’ Now he had on a satin gown; so he pulled it off and gave it to Khelifeh, saying, ‘Take this in place of thy clothes.’ The fisherman took it and turned it about and said, ‘My clothes are worth ten of this painted clout.’ ‘Put it on, till I bring thee thy clothes,’ rejoined the Khalif. So Khelifeh donned the gown, but finding it too long for him, took a knife he had with him, tied to the handle of his basket, and cut off nigh a third of the skirts so that it [but] fell beneath his knees.

  Then he turned to Er Reshid and said to him, ‘God on thee, O piper, tell me what wage thou gettest every month from thy master, for thy craft of piping.’ ‘My wage is ten dinars a month,’ replied the Khalif. And Khelifeh said, ‘By Allah, my poor fellow, I am sorry for thee! Why, I make thy ten dinars every day! Hast thou a mind to take service with me and I will teach thee the art of fishing and share my gain with thee? So shalt thou earn five dinars a day and be my knave and I will protect thee against thy master with this staff.’ ‘I will well,’ answered Er Reshid; and Khelifeh said, ‘Then get off thy she-ass and tie her up, so she may serve us to carry the fish hereafter, and come hither, that I may teach thee to fish forthright.’

  So the Khalif alighted and hobbling his mule, tucked his skirts into his girdle, and Khelifeh said to him, ‘Harkye, piper, lay hold of the net thus and put it over thine arm thus and cast it into the Tigris thus.’ Accordingly, Er Reshid took heart of grace and casting the net, as the fisherman showed him, pulled at it, but could not draw it up. So Khelifeh came to his aid and tugged at it with him; but the two together could not pull it up: whereupon, ‘O piper of ill omen,’ said the fisherman, ‘I took thy gown in place of my clothes; but, if I find my net torn, I will have thine ass for it and will beat thee to boot, till thou bepiss and bemire thyself!’ Quoth Er Reshid, ‘Let us both pull at once.’

  So they both pulled at once and succeeded with difficulty in dragging the net ashore, when they found it full of fish of all kinds and colours; and Khelifeh said to Er Reshid, ‘By Allah, O piper, thou art an ugly fellow; but, if thou apply thyself to fishing, thou wilt make a fine fisherman. But now thou wert better mount thine ass and go to the market and fetch me a pair of frails, and I will take care of the fish, till thou return, when we will load it on thine ass’s back. I have scales and weights and all we require, and thou wilt have nothing to do but to hold the scales and take the money; for we have here twenty dinars’ worth of fish. So be quick with the frails and loiter not.’

  ‘I hear and obey,’ answered the Khalif and mounting, left him with the fish.

  Then he spurred his mule, in great good humour, and ceased not laughing over his adventure with the fisherman, till he came up to Jaafer, who said to him, ‘O Commander of the Faithful, belike, when thou wentest to drink, thou foundest a pleasant garden and enteredst and tookst thy pleasure therein alone?’ At this Er Reshid fell a-laughing again and all the Barmecides rose and kissed the ground before him, saying, ‘O Commander of the Faithful, may God make joys to endure for thee and do away troubles from thee! What was the cause of thy tarrying and what hath befallen thee?’ ‘Verily,’ answered the Khalif ‘a right rare and pleasant thing hath befallen me.’ And he told them what had passed between himself and the fisherman, how he had accused him of stealing his clothes and he had given him his gown and how he had cut of a part of it, finding it too long for him. ‘By Allah, O Commander of the Faithful,’ said Jaafer, ‘I had it in mind to beg the gown of thee: but now I will go straight to the fisherman and buy it of him.’ ‘By Allah,’ answered the Khalif, ‘he hath cut off a third part of the skirt and spoilt it! But, O Jaafer, I am tired with fishing in the river, for I have caught great store of fish, and my master Khelifeh is waiting with them on the river-bank for me to return to him with a couple of frails and a cleaver. Then we are to go, he and I, to the market and sell the fish and share the price.’

  ‘O Commander of the Faithful,’ said Jaafer, ‘I will bring you a purchaser for your fish.’ And Er Reshid rejoined, ‘O Jaafer, by the virtue of my holy forefathers, whoso bringeth me one of the fish that are before Khelifeh, who taught me to fish, I will give him a gold dinar for it!’ So the crier proclaimed among the troops that they should go forth and buy fish for the Khalif, and they all arose and made for the river-side. So, while Khelifeh was awaiting for the Khalif’s return with the two frails, the guards swooped down upon him like vultures and took the fish and wrapped them in gold-embroidered handkerchiefs, beating one another in their eagerness. Whereupon quoth Khelifeh, ‘Doubtless these are of the fish of Paradise!’ and taking two fish in each hand, plunged into the water up to his neck and fell a-saying, ‘O God, by the virtue of these fish, let Thy servant the piper, my partner, come to me forthwith!’

  At this moment up came the chief of the Khalif’s black slaves, who had tarried behind the rest, by reason of his horse having stopped to stale by the way, and finding all the fish gone, looked right and left, till he espied Khelifeh standing in the water, with the fish in his hands, and said to him, ‘Come hither, O fisherman!’ But Khelifeh answered, ‘Begone and meddle not with what doth not concern thee!’ So the eunuch went up to him and said, ‘Give me the fish and I will pay thee their price.’ ‘Art thou little of wit?’ replied the fisherman. ‘I will not sell them.’ Therewith the eunuch drew his mace upon him, and Khelifeh cried out, saying, ‘Hold thy hand, wretch that thou art! Better largesse than the mace.’ So saying, he threw the fish to the eunuch, who took them and hid them in his handkerchief. Then he put his hand in his pocket, but found not a single dirhem and said to Khelifeh, ‘O fisherman, verily, thou art out of luck; for, by Allah, I have not a rap about me! But come to-morrow to the palace of the Khalifate and ask for the eunuch Sendel; whereupon the slaves will direct thee to me and thou shalt get what falleth to thy lot and go thy ways therewith.’ Quoth Khelifeh, ‘Indeed, this is a blessed day and its blessedness was manifest from the first of it!’

  Then he shouldered his net and returned to Baghdad; and as he passed through the streets, the people saw the Khalif’s gown on him and stared at him; [but he paid no heed to them and fared on] till he came to the gate of his quarter, by which was the shop of the Khalif’s tailor. When the latter saw him wearing a dress of the apparel of the Khalif, worth a thousand dinars, he said to him, ‘O Khelifeh, whence hadst thou that gown?’ ‘What ails thee to meddle?’ replied the fisherman. ‘[An thou must know,] I had it of one whom I taught to fish and who is become my apprentice. Moreover, I forgave him the cutting-off of his hand, for that he stole my clothes and gave me this clout in their place.’ So the tailor knew that the Khalif had come upon him, as he was fishing, and jested with him and given him the gown; and Kh
elifeh went to his house.

  Meanwhile, when the lady Zubeideh heard of the Khalif’s devotion to Cout el Culoub, there took hold upon her the jealousy proper to women, so that she refused meat and drank and forswore the delight of sleep and awaited the Khalif’s going forth on a journey or what not, that she might set a snare for the damsel in his absence. So, when she learnt that he was gone a-hunting, she caused her women furnish the palace and decorate it after the most magnificent manner and serve up viands and confections; and amongst the rest she made a china dish of the daintiest sweetmeats, in which she had put henbane.

  Then she bade one of her eunuchs go to the damsel and bid her to eat with her, saying, ‘The lady Zubeideh bint el Casim, the wife of the Commander of the Faithful, hath drunken medicine to-day and having heard tell of the sweetness of thy singing, is minded to divert herself with somewhat of thy fashion.’ Cout el Culoub answered, ‘Hearing and obedience [are due] to God and the lady Zubeideh,’ and rose forthright, knowing not what was hidden for her in the secret purpose of God. Then she took with her what instruments she needed and accompanied the eunuch to the presence of the princess.

  When she entered, she kissed the ground before her again and again, then rising to her feet, said, ‘Peace be on the lady of the lofty curtain and the inaccessible majesty, the daughter of the house of Abbas and scion of the family of the Prophet! May God fulfil thee of peace and prosperity in the days and the years!’ Then she stood with the rest of the women and eunuchs, and the lady Zubeideh looked at her and saw a damsel with smooth cheeks and breasts like pomegranates, moon- bright face, flower-white forehead and great black eyes. Languor sat on her eyelids and her face beamed with light. It seemed as if the sun rose from her forehead and the darkness of the night from her brow-locks. The fragrance of musk exhaled from her breath and flowers bloomed from her lovely face; the moon beamed from her forehead and the branches waved in her slender shape. She was like the full moon shining in the darkness of the night; her eyes wantoned, her eyebrows were arched like a bow and her lips moulded of coral. Her beauty amazed all who saw her and her glances enspelled all who looked on her. Glory be to Him who created and fashioned her and wrought her to perfection! Brief, she was even as saith the poet of one who favoured her:

  When she is wroth, I trow, thou seest folk slain and sped, And when she’s pleased, their souls return unto their stead.

  Eyes hath she, wheelie proceed bewitching looks, wherewith She slayeth whom she will and raiseth from the dead.

  All creatures with her glance she captivates; it seems As if all folk to her were servants, born and bred.

  ‘Welcome and fair welcome to thee, O Cout el Culoub!’ said Zubeideh. ‘Sit and divert us with thine accomplishments and the goodliness of thy fashion.’ ‘I hear and obey,’ answered the damsel and putting out her hand, took the tambourine, whereof one of its praisers speaks in the following verses:

  O thou o’ the tabret, my heart for longing flies And whilst thou smitest, aloud for passion cries.

  Blame not, my fairest, a wounded heart, a wight Who for thine answer to his petition sighs.

  So say, — or weighty or light, — a word and sing Whate’er thou pleasest: thou charmest anywise.

  Be kind; discover thy face, my love; arise And dance and gambol and please all ears and eyes.

  Then she smote the tambourine briskly and sang thereto, that she arrested the birds in the air and the place danced with them; after which she laid down the tambourine and took the flageolet, whereof it is said:

  Eyes hath she and the pupils thereunto that belong Are governed by the fingers to undiscordant song.

  And as the poet also says:

  When it bringeth with fluting the songs to the goal, The time, for sheer gladness, yields solace of soul.

  Then she laid down the flageolet, after she had charmed therewith all who were presents and took up the lute, whereof saith the poet:

  How many a tender branch a lute for singing-girl becomes, Whereto the hearts of erudite and generous are fain!

  She sweeps it with her finger-tips, of her vivacity Tormenting it, what while she binds it fast with many a chain.

  Then she turned its pegs and tuned its strings and laying it in her lap, bent over it as the mother bends over her child; and it seemed as it were of her and her lute that the poet spoke in the following verses:

  Featly she discourseth on the Persian string, Sense in him, who senseless was awakening.

  Yea, she tells that passion deadly is and plays Havoc with the Muslims’ wit and reasoning.

  Lo, a maid, by Allah, in whose hand, in lieu Of a mouth-possessor, speaks a painted thing.

  As a skilled physician stops the flux of blood, With the lute she staunches passion’s running spring.

  Then she preluded in fourteen different modes and sang an entire piece to the lute, so as to confound the lookers- on and delight her hearers. After which she recited this couplet:

  Blest is the coming unto thee: New joys therein for ever be.

  Delight sans cease to it pertain And never-ending jubilee.

  Then she rose and exhibited tricks of sleight of hand and legerdemain and all manner of pleasing arts, till the lady Zubeideh came near to fall in love with her and said in herself, ‘Verily, my cousin Er Reshid is not to blame for loving her!’ Then Cout el Culoub kissed the earth before Zubeideh and sat down, whereupon they set food before her. Then they brought her the drugged dish of sweetmeats and she ate thereof; and hardly had it settled in her stomach when her head fell backward and she sank on the ground, asleep. With this, Zubeideh said to her women, ‘Carry her up to one of the clambers, till I call for her.’ And they answered, ‘We hear and obey.’ Then she bade one of her eunuchs fashion her a chest and commanded to make the semblance of a tomb and to spread the report that Cout el Culoub had choked and died, warning her attendants that she would stake off the head of whoever should say, ‘She is alive.’

  Presently, the Khalif returned from the chase, and his first enquiry was for the damsel. So there came to him one of his eunuchs, whom Zubeideh had charged to say she was dead, if the Khalif should ask for her, and kissing the ground before him, said, ‘May thy head live, O my lord! Know that Cout el Culoub choked in eating and is dead.’ Whereupon, ‘May God never gladden thee with good news, O wicked slave!’ cried Er Reshid, and entered the palace, where he heard of her death from every one and said, ‘Where is her tomb?’ So they brought him to the burial-place and showed him the pretended tomb, saying, ‘This is it.’ When he saw it, he cried out and wept and embraced it, reciting the following verses:

  By Allah, O tomb, have her beauties ceased and disappeared from sight And is the countenance changed and wan, that shone so wonder-bright?

  O tomb, O tomb, thou art neither heaven nor garden, verily: How comes it then that swaying branch and moon in thee unite?

  He abode awhile by the tomb, weeping sore for her, after which he arose and went away, in the utmost distress.

  Meanwhile, Zubeideh, seeing that her plot had succeeded, sent for the damsel and locking her up in the chest, said to the eunuch, ‘Make shift to sell this chest and make it a condition with the purchaser that he buy it locked; then give alms with the price.’ So he took it and went forth, to do her bidding.

  To return to Khelifeh the fisherman. When the morning arose and lighted [all things] with its radiance, he said to himself, ‘I cannot do better to-day than visit the eunuch who bought the fish of me, for he appointed me to come to him in the palace of the Khalifate.’ So he went forth of his lodging, intending for the palace, and when he came thither, he found eunuchs and slaves and servants black and white, sitting and standing, and looking at them, saw, seated amongst them, the eunuch who had bought the fish of him, with the others waiting on him. Presently, one of the servants called out to him; whereupon the eunuch turned to see who he was and knew him for the fisherman.

  When Khelifeh was ware that he saw him and recognized him, he said to him, ‘I have not failed [of my
appointment], O Rosy-cheeks! On this wise are men of their word.’ ‘By Allah, thou art right, O fisherman,’ replied the eunuch, laughing, and put his hand to his pouch, to give him somewhat; but at that moment there arose a great clamour. So he raised his head to see what was to do and finding that it was the Vizier Jaafer the Barmecide coming forth from the Khalif’s presence, rose and went before him, and they walked about, conversing, a long while. Khelifeh waited awhile; then, growing weary of standing and finding that the eunuch took no heed of him, he set himself in his way and beckoned to him from afar, saying, ‘O my lord Rosy-cheeks, [give me my due and] let me go!’

  The eunuch saw him, but was ashamed to answer him, because of the vizier’s presence; so he went on talking with Jaafer and took no notice of the fisherman. Whereupon quoth Khelifeh, ‘O tardy paymaster! May God put to shame all curmudgeons and all who take people’s goods and baffle them! I appeal to thee, O my lord Paunch o’bran, to give me my due and let me go!’ The eunuch heard him, but was ashamed to answer him before Jaafer; and the latter saw the fisherman beckoning and talking to him, though he knew not what he said; so he said to Sendel, disliking his behaviour, ‘O eunuch, what would yonder poor fellow with thee?’ ‘Dost thou not know him, O my lord the vizier?’ asked Sendel; and Jaafer answered, ‘By Allah, I know him not! How should I know a man l have never seen before?’ ‘O my lord,’ rejoined the eunuch, ‘this is the fisherman whose fish we seized on the banks of the Tigris. I came too late to get any and was ashamed to return to the Commander of the Faithful, empty- handed, when all the rest had some. Presently I espied the fisherman standing in mid-stream, calling on God, with four fish in his hands, and said to him, “Give me what thou hast there and take their price.” So he gave me the fish and I put my hand into my pocket, to give him somewhat, but found it empty and said, “Come to me in the palace, and I will give thee wherewithal to succour thy poverty.” Accordingly, he came to me to-day and I was putting my hand to my pouch, to give him somewhat, when thou camest forth and I rose to wait on thee and was diverted with thee from him, till he grew tired of waiting; and this is how he comes to be standing here.’

 

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