by Martha Carr
My aim is getting better with these fireballs…
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Author Notes
September 25, 2019
This new series – The Witches of Pressler Street – represents a new beginning for my small business, even more than The Adventures of Maggie Parker because it’s the first spinoff into a Universe – with Michael Anderle’s blessing, but under my own umbrella of MRC Publishing. That felt like it should be accompanied by fireworks, but I’ll settle for making it bold.
In July 2017 my first collaboration with Michael came out – The Leira Chronicles – and a seismic shift in my world began. An authentic-hold-on-and-enjoy-every-minute-of-it-joyride.
Here we are again. The Legacy of Magic is another beginning of another shift that came with even more growth – some of it very painful – to reveal a new version of myself. Stronger, more resilient with a few older beliefs left by the wayside and a lot of optimism for what’s to come. A stronger kind of joy with a smoother ride.
Okay, a little more background is needed on how I got from here to there – where there is and what it all means.
Overall, I’m going to look back on 2019 as the year of finding joy again. Real joy that permeates everything and isn’t based on anything in particular going on in a day. The last year was a wild ride with the books taking off like a rocket, buying a dream house and then my oldest sister, a surgeon, died suddenly. She left behind a lot of devoted patients and a pile of debt that is getting sorted out. I mention that last part for a reason, hang on a little.
I thought over all I was fine with everything. Life gives you big events and sometimes they pile on top of each other. We keep going.
Add on top of that, I finally let go of the day job in March of this year and built a team of some great people to help me with all the moving parts of writing and publishing as an indie. All of that hit moments before I found out how much in taxes I hadn’t paid yet. The seismic growth of 2018 came with a hefty bill. I was about to get a lesson in how to really run a small business.
Actually, I was about to get the opportunity to learn a few deep lessons. That is, if I was willing to sit with anxiety, confusion and pain – and not let go of all the joy that was mixed in with everything else.
Learning more about my sister left me wondering how afraid she may have been in the last year of her life, and even though we talked, there was grief and anger that I couldn’t fix it, that she didn’t tell us. This was paired with the knowledge that was her life to choose and her journey.
Another corner deep inside was also examining this one thought over and over again - if I was capable of creating the same financial mayhem. My brain knew I was overidentifying with her, but it wasn’t stopping my heart from wondering.
Plus, looking back now I can see I was exhausted – spiritually, physically and mentally. I needed to take a break and see that I can take breaks.
Normally, I’m a fixer. If there’s a problem I go hunting for the solutions. But this time, I could sense that there wasn’t going to be a quick fix and just the search for one could make this longer, more protracted and more painful. Instead, I reached out to some trusted friends and started talking. I walked through every day doing what needed to be done and gave myself a break on doing it perfectly or hurriedly. It felt like I was trusting the universe to send the answers to me.
I found the right sources to talk to – financial planners about the business (not creating mayhem – did need some clarity), solid friends about the grief – even therapists. I even got some friends to join me in a book study of Brene Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection. The list goes on – I took someone’s advice to go back to swimming and got up from my computer and went to hang out with my neighbors more. I have now seen an entire season of Bachelors in Paradise.
And all along I went on, putting one foot in front of the other and waited for answers to come to me. Truth is, there haven’t been bold moments of revelation. It’s been more like a gradual ease replaced by a sense of relief and trust. I’ll take it. Kind of a perfect moment to step out into the world with an expanding universe and a new series, don’t you think? More adventures to follow.
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