He walked through an alley in what was now blazing August sun and paused to talk with a crowd of pups who dashed up to see his bags.
Kage tucked the paper one under his arm, then rummaged in the canvas bag until he found a pack of string cheese. He ripped this open with his teeth—to cheers of the little ones—and passed around a cheese to each while they thanked him, then dashed off, all barefoot and most of them shirtless.
I addressed him from the doorway as he drew near. “Not much is sexier than a male who takes a bit of care over his appearance and does the grocery shopping. At least if you ask certain worm ladies.”
Kage chuckled. “I didn’t shop. Just grabbed a bag from Merab at the stores.” He jerked his head over his shoulder, indicating one of the outbuildings around the workshops. “But I did pick us up a snack in town since I don’t fix dinner until Jay is home.” Holding up the paper bag.
“Thank you. How many steaks did you get me?”
Coming up the steps while I moved back, he also laughed at that—disposition much improved since this morning.
He set the grocery bag on the floor against the refrigerator, paper bag on the table. Then he blinked and froze as if someone had just aimed a gun in his face.
He looked down at the cleared table, which now had only a serving bowl in the middle. Piled high inside this bowl were roughly twenty well-chewed, gleaming white bones of various shapes, but mostly bovine knuckles.
Slowly, Kage turned. He looked at the living room, which seemed three times the size it had last night, flooded in afternoon sunlight and with the battered linoleum floor clear and swept. The only litter there now were a couple of steel hooks screwed into the floor and the neat line of shoes.
“Smells good,” I said. “Care to sit at the table, or is that too weird?”
Kage blinked at the kitchen, then the bones. “I suppose … there’s space to sit.”
He’d brought me a lovely Italian salad with grilled chicken. Also a loaf of fresh bread that was made right here, along with butter and cheese accompaniments. For himself, he had a box of chicken parmesan—which was indeed only a snack for him.
I said nothing about his eating speed, or at first made any effort for conversation. Yet Kage was curbing himself. He cut the chicken with a knife, gulped down a chunk that would have choked a camel, then hesitated and fetched the bread, taking a break to slice this in lavish portions and offer me cheese and butter.
“Thanks, Kage. It’s nice to have a good meal and company after everything yesterday.”
This strengthened his resolve and he made me think—uncharacteristically—of Zar as he continued to use utensils and offer me bread and cheese.
At my prompting, Kage also talked—which I’d seldom heard any of them aside from Isaac do over a meal. Even for Isaac, I knew this was only from calling on human manners for me. Left to their own devices, they would all move away from each other, swallow their food in peace, threaten anyone with a growl who got near while they did so, then go back to normal activities.
Kage told me about the job interview, which sounded like it had gone well, then about frustrations over all the extra safety and security: the headache of having to always be chaperoning or be chaperoned, free only at home or when in close working situations around worms.
Even so, he was through with the chicken in five minutes. Then sat with me to eat bread and cheese while I was still on the salad.
Once he’d exhausted the loss of personal freedom topic—myself offering sympathy and avoiding patronizing comments to the effect that this was for his own good—I asked him about the others.
“If we have to search for Dieter, we’ll need a couple of you in fur. And at night. Jason and Andrew preferably. Do you think we can do it without staying in London? Do the trains run all night?”
“More or less. But we should take the bikes in.”
“Then we’d have to park and deal with them there. It might not be bad in the middle of the night, but are you comfortable driving in London?”
Kage shrugged. “‘Comfortable’ and ‘London’ never fit together. I could go with Jason. You with Isaac. And Andrew with Zar. Two skin to each fur, only three bikes to deal with. In and out, no trains to worry about, no tickets to buy or schedules to observe.” He gulped a slice of fresh bread and cheese. “No point starting to search before midnight anyway, the streets are too crowded. So we’d get in late, no traffic, park, sniff, get out whenever we’re ready, then a nap at home in the morning before work.”
I wondered about Jed. It didn’t seem right to split up when we’d been working together. Then again, not as if he would want to go. Otherwise…
“Sounds like a very smart plan.”
Kage sat back, swallowing again, and crossed his arms, giving me a look.
“I did not sound surprised,” I said. “I sounded duly impressed and admiring of the good ideas.”
“Sounded surprised.”
“I didn’t.”
“You did.”
“I sounded slightly surprised because I hadn’t been thinking about using the bikes to save us so much trouble. That’s all. It’s a really good idea.”
“Have you told anyone you’re back?” He cut off a chunk of the snow-white cheese and wrapped a slice of bread around it like a taco. “Thought everyone would know by now. Rebecca knew, but Merab was surprised. She gave us extra rations.”
“No, I haven’t. I meant to text Andrew. I wanted him to be expecting my bag. It’s good for me to have a day in, though. I need to be able to concentrate and trance to scry. Not my best strengths lately.”
“Cleaning house gives you the mindset?”
I looked around. “Yes, very much.”
“Glad we could help.”
I laughed. “I thought Darius would spread the word. He was pleased to find me.”
“Darius? What about him?” Kage reached casually for my left hand on the table, never glancing at it—like he didn’t know what was happening.
“He was the guard I met last night. Then we ran into Jason.”
“Didn’t Jay run into you first?” He stroked two fingers down the backs of mine.
“Kind of how he presented it… I’m sorry about showing up like that. Obviously terrible timing. Mind if I ask…? Is that typical? The fighting? You kicking him out?”
“No.” Kage allowed himself a glance at my hand as he eased his right into my left. “We quarrel as much as the next pair. But after you left… The night before we’d been back in London. Bloody awful night, but no time for anything else. So last night we had home and I wanted to be left alone. He wouldn’t. Just another row and he always wins. Except this time. I told him to get out; go sleep with Andrew—who lives with Jason’s parents. I guess he didn’t.”
I slowly shook my head, finishing a final slice of cheese and pushing my plate aside—leaving my left hand on the table with his. “He was in your Jeep. Just sitting in there. Waiting for enough time to pass that he could go back? Kage?”
“When you left, I thought…” He rubbed his callused thump along my skin.
“Wait, Kage.” I gently withdrew my hand. Or tried. He wouldn’t let go. “You already have a relationship that needs a little attention. It’s best if ours stays—”
“Cassia, I kept wanting to talk before you left.” He addressed our hands. “I’d thought we’d run out of time—”
“And it’s not only about Jason,” I continued. “Or keeping what you already have without me coming between you. It’s about me leaving in twenty days. This can’t last. So it’s best if we keep a little distance in—”
“What about this Moon?” He looked up to my eyes. “You’re here now. We already missed out once.”
“I’m sorry. This probably feels like that starting over chance, but we have work to do. The more we get involved the harder—”
“Remember when we first saw each other?”
I stopped and lowered my own gaze to his hand. “How could I forget? Crashing m
y talk? I couldn’t stop looking at you, wanting to know who you were. You almost ruined my presentation.”
“But we didn’t. You were bang on. You told about being careful where you went in a scry, losing yourself in time or dimensions. You said because magic’s energy that’s already of us, and around us, scrying is the same: of us and around us. We just need to know how to open our eyes to see.”
“You remember all that? Out of context? I’d have thought you were all freaked out by placing yourselves amongst casters.”
“Did I look scared?” One side of his mouth turned up. “Nah. Peter was shaking in his boots. Becca and I were just curious.”
“Is that so?” I smiled.
“She wasn’t supposed to come. Skived off pack work that Sunday to sneak with us. I wanted to do something for my pack—be the one to find you, bring you in. She just wanted to see real witches.”
“Like kids daring each other to knock on the door of a haunted house?”
“When I saw you there … that was it.”
“What was what?”
“When I knew we should be together.” Meeting my eyes again.
“Really, Kage?” I resisted a sigh. “So you threw a bag over my head, taped my hands, and kidnapped me?”
“No other way to get you here. We’d tried talking with casters before. You’d have taken off just for knowing what we wanted. At least, that’s what we thought. We know better now. I could have talked to you after and you’d have come out, wouldn’t you? Met Diana and seen if you could help?”
“Yes, I would have.”
“But you’re an odd bird. Don’t even think you know that. Maybe all part of it when I saw you there. You were different. I knew we—”
“Kage, you’re not listening to me.”
“Been wanting to tell you this all along. We never have a proper moment alone.” He watched our hands on the table, massaging my skin with his thumb. “We need people like you in core. Teachers, silvers—wealth of knowledge and skills and magnetism to pass on and make pups want to learn. And you know the human world: caster and mundane both. You won’t let yourself be bound by just one.”
“Actually—”
“I fell in love that day watching you teach. Thought you bewitched me. You know? Put a spell on me?” Smiling. “I told Jay about it—how seeing you talk was like lightning on a clear day. How I was sure you’d done some sort of magic to me.”
“And … what did he say?”
“He said it was the same spell Zipporah put me under when I fell for her. Or Aaron when it was him. Or Naomi when we were just yearlings. Jay doesn’t understand. He has to get to know someone; has to think things out and really be attracted to someone in all the right ways—know who he’s dealing with. He says I’ll fall in love with a fencepost if it’s showing me the right path, or a lamppost if it’s casting me in a good light. He means it like a bad thing. Like there’s something wrong with love at first sight. Really, there’s no better feeling. The trouble is … when she’s a human, and a witch, and we have a job to do with … everyone around … it’s not about us.”
“That’s why you have to keep your feelings to yourself? Act like a pompous ass to cover up in front of your packmates?”
Kage didn’t seem to have heard me. “Then you said you felt the same. Only once you were on your way out the door, though. So not much bloody good, was it?” Letting out a breath. “The thing I most wanted to ask right off but couldn’t in front of the others … and you’d laugh at me anyway … and say no…” He looked away: wind falling from his sails as he talked himself out of what he’d been about to ask.
I waited, watching him in silence, but he didn’t go on.
Finally, I returned light pressure to his strong hand and said, “I would never laugh at you for something like this. And I’m sorry you’ve been feeling that way. I wish you’d told me. Even with circumstances being what they are. It would have helped to …put you in perspective. If that makes sense? What is it you’ve wanted to ask?”
“I thought … you’re so good, Cassia … maybe you’d be able to… Could you teach me also?” Focus returning to me.
“What?”
“Could you teach me some of what you know? A … bit of magic?”
My lips were parted in a moment of pure stupid before I could make a sound.
He rushed on. “Then we’d have it in the pack. Only an ounce of what you know—”
“Kage, I’m sorry. I can’t. You have to be born with the gift. We can’t just teach someone magic cold turkey. And shifters … aren’t…” I shook my head helplessly. “I’m really sorry.”
He looked away.
“I thought you were terrified—or, well, apprehensive—of magic?”
“That’s why we need to know something about it. With you being the teacher and the witch, it’s what pups need. So we pass that on. Don’t need to be scared these days.”
“That’s an incredibly wise way of thinking. I … could teach you some theory…? You don’t need to use magic to be able to teach pups about casters.”
His gaze found our hands again, then up to my face.
“I wanted to learn some of your Lucannis words,” I added slowly. “Not like I can pick much up in the time I’m here. But … a bit also? It’s such a beautiful language.”
Stealthily, he followed up his right hand with the left, watching them encircling mine. “I’m not a good teacher like you.” Voice very soft, as if he could hardly bring himself to admit it. Or hadn’t meant to say it out loud.
“Just a little vocabulary.” I smiled “No grammar or syntax drills.”
He slipped his fingers into mine, eyes fixed on them as he leaned in, pushing back his chair and lowering his chin to the table until he could kiss my hand.
“Kage, this is not—”
“I thought … if you taught me a bit of magic, you’d be showing how you teach, and that’s something…”
“You want me to teach you to teach? To impress Peter and core?”
He kissed my knuckles.
“It would be easier for me to give you classroom tips than explain magical theory. What are you really after?”
“After core.” He kissed one finger. “And you.” Another finger. “And pups.” Another. “A job.” Kissing my little finger. “And a safe pack.”
“You want to be a family wolf? Why make everyone think you’re still a pack troublemaker and a badass who’s in everything for himself?”
“Reputation to maintain.” He kissed my thumb. “Anyway … a wolf can be both.”
“I suppose you can.” I was smiling again, still letting him keep my hand while I knew I shouldn’t. “A real badass, scarred up, devil-may-care family wolf? And top core? I can see you now. You’ll be a very cool dad, Kage. If that’s a word you all use?”
“We would say chiesna.” He turned my hand over to run his fingertips along the lines of my palm. “That’s wonderful; brilliant, real class act. Might say it of a new motorbike or a really ‘cool’ sire. Hand,” he added quietly, “is kael.”
“Chiesna,” I repeated. “Brilliant, cool. Kael, hand. And plural? Both hands?”
“Kaeli. But many nouns are the same either way.”
“Really? Does it ever get confusing?”
“Contextual. We get away with it some in English, just not so much. Fish, deer, sheep. You can modify it with another word if you need to.” Smiling. “But that would be getting into grammar and syntax.”
“Okay. Thank you. For you… Fundamentals of magic are an understanding of infinite energy. Everything is formed of energy, from air we breathe to this table to the grass to our own bodies. When we use magic, we manipulate energy that already exists around us. Magic is not created by the caster. It is transformed. Does that make sense?”
He nodded, chin on the table, then let out a breath and sat back. “You’re here for this Moon.”
“And the more we get involved the harder it will be to go our separate ways. I’m here
to help the pack. Not to…”
He met my eyes. “Be a family witch?”
I started to answer, shaking my head, but he was suddenly grinning.
“It’d make me a double chiesna dad to have a witch mate.” Even chuckling a little. “Duel mates also.”
“That’s really no problem for you? Is the whole pack like that? Open relationships? Because I haven’t gotten that feeling.”
“Open…?”
“To physical relationships with other people? As opposed to a closed relationship, which is usual for human marriages, in which the two partners are sexually and romantically exclusive to one another?”
Kage shrugged. “I don’t know.” At last, he released my hand to slice off more cheese. “You can’t keep a physical relationship secret from a wolf you’re already curling up with. They’ll know. Our pair bonds are strong. They say stronger than among humans. Rebecca has far more friends among worms than I do. She says half have divorced parents and another quarter were raised by single mums. That’s just…” Shaking his head, frustrated. “It’s impossible here. Pups know their mum and dad and have two or three core and close kin around—always.” He swallowed a chunk of cheese.
“Occasionally there’s a bad match and a pair will split up. And we get some problems just like worms. Substance abuse now and then, strangers, sometimes domestic violence. Abraham’s mate will never find another. Everyone knows she’s a Moon-cursed terror. It does happen. But it’s bloody rare. Could be we know each other better than humans. Maybe it’s instincts. Or the support we have that you don’t.”
He set down the knife and rubbed a hand back and forth through his hair. “So … I don’t know how to answer you. The pairs who have involved another wolf are open and the ones who never have are not? I guess?”
He pushed the cheese board toward me as he continued and I accepted one more slice. “Jay gets depressed when he doesn’t have my undivided attention. That’s nothing to do with you personally, though. He bounces back to himself. He was chuffed last night to have you: the pup who howled up Moon.”
Moonlight Heart: A Reverse Harem Shifter Romance (The Witch and the Wolf Pack Book 4) Page 4
