‘But you’re my world too, Sadie. She says I can’t see you if I get back with her. What am I supposed to do?’
Sadie swallowed the sudden, hot tears that sprang to her eyes and took a step towards him. ‘If you love her, then you know what you have to do.’
‘I have to stop talking to you?’
‘Yes.’
‘We can’t even say hello?’ he slurred, confusion etched into his features.
How Sadie wanted to reach for him, even now, to fold him into her arms once more and kiss him, if only to say goodbye. But she knew that would be a terrible mistake. If they had to do this, then they had to do it properly.
‘Maybe we can say hello from time to time, but we can’t sit and talk like we always did. But that’s OK. You’ll have Melissa for that, and that’s how it should be.’
‘And you have your man now.’
‘Yes,’ Sadie said, smiling through her tears. ‘I have my man now.’
‘And he makes you happy?’
‘He does.’
Declan nodded to himself and staggered backwards, then reached for the railings of the pier to steady himself. The wind was picking up, the sky heavy and grey, and the first drops of rain fell into Sadie’s hair.
‘Go and sober up,’ she said. ‘Shall I go and get your dad from the chip shop to take you home?’
‘You’re not going to take me home?’
‘I can’t. Not now, can I? What would Melissa think about that?’
He nodded again and sank to a seat that wasn’t there before setting himself upright again.
‘I bet you can’t still balance on here,’ he said, slapping his free hand on the pier railings before taking a swig from the wine bottle in his other.
‘I doubt it. We were idiots to try balancing on it all those years ago.’
‘But it was funny.’
‘It was funny,’ Sadie said. ‘But we were silly kids then.’
‘A long time ago.’
‘Yes.’
‘Sometimes I wish we were still like that. I loved you. I would have married you one day.’
‘I know.’
‘Life was easier then, wasn’t it?’
‘Yes, but things change and we move on.’
‘I love Melissa now.’
‘You’ll work it out – she loves you too. All you have to do is talk to her.’
With great care, he placed the wine bottle on the wooden boards of the pier and began to haul himself up onto the railings.
‘What the hell are you doing?’ Sadie cried, filled with sudden horror.
‘Just one more time,’ he slurred. ‘I’ll be a kid one more time and then I’ll grow up and get Melissa back.’
‘Dec, get down!’
He grinned and gave himself a last pull, but before Sadie could get there, he lost his balance and disappeared over the edge.
Chapter Nineteen
Sadie ripped off her jacket and ran for the railings, but before she got there another figure had already flown past her and leapt into the sea after Declan.
‘Ewan!’ Sadie screamed, leaning over the railings to stare down into the water.
‘I’m on it!’
She spun around to see Ewan racing down the pier towards her, pulling off his jacket too.
‘Get the coastguard!’ he shouted.
Sadie froze. If her brother hadn’t just jumped into the water after Declan, who had?
‘Coastguard!’ Ewan roared as he clambered onto the railings. ‘What are you waiting for?’
‘You can’t go in!’ Sadie cried. ‘It’s too rough!’
He shrugged, and then he lifted his arms above his head and tipped into an elegant dive. Instinctively Sadie grabbed for him, though she’d no more be able to stop his fall than catch fog. All she could do was watch him go like a dart into the waves. Then she saw two heads above the water where there should have been three, and she couldn’t tell who they belonged to. She pulled out her phone with trembling hands and dialled the emergency number, willing the third head to appear.
‘Coastguard,’ she cried, tears of absolute terror choking her so hard she could barely talk. ‘Sea Salt Bay – the pier. Three men in the water – one’s drunk, the other two have gone in after him! Please hurry!’
‘Stay on the line,’ the voice at the other end said, and Sadie kept the phone clamped to her ear as she ran the length of the pier towards the beach. Even in her current state she understood that to dive in after them was folly, but if she could get down to the beach she might be able to swim out to help.
By the time she got there she could see that it was Luke who’d gone into the sea after Declan, and that he was dragging him onto the beach.
‘Oh my God!’ Sadie screamed, running to them. ‘Oh my God he’s dead!’
Luke collapsed onto the sand, panting and dripping wet and unable to reply. He just gave a faint shake of his head, and then set about trying to revive an unconscious Declan. Sadie looked out to sea again, for the spot where she’d seen Ewan go in.
‘Where is he?’
Luke glanced up at her before returning to Declan.
‘Luke! Where is he?’ she cried.
In the next moment, Declan heaved and spluttered and a stream of water came from his mouth and he opened his eyes. But Sadie didn’t have a moment to be relieved. Her brother was still missing and she had to find him.
He’s a great swimmer; he’s a great swimmer, she told herself as she went into the icy waves, and she tried to believe that being a great swimmer was enough, but even she knew better than that. Plenty of great swimmers had drowned in the sea. The sea didn’t care if you were a great swimmer or not, because it had plenty of tricks to catch you out if it was in the mood.
The water was up to her knees and then up to her thighs as she struck out against the heaving rollers, icy and sharp, and then she felt an arm close around her wrist, yanking her back.
‘I’ll find him,’ Luke shouted over the booming waves.
‘I’m coming too!’
‘No! Go back! Declan needs you! Go back – I’ll find Ewan!’
Sadie shook her head, and Luke must have decided there was no time to argue because he let go and they struck out together, water smashing Sadie in the face at every stroke, filling her mouth and stinging her eyes so she could barely see a foot in front of her. Everywhere was raging grey murk. The sea didn’t want her to find Ewan; the sea wanted him for itself, and she grew desperate and tearful, and now it wasn’t just waves choking her but grief as well.
You can’t have my brother! You can’t have him!
And then she saw him. He was barely keeping his head above the water, fighting a current that had him trapped.
She turned to see Luke still swimming towards him. He didn’t understand. He didn’t see that if he went where Ewan was he’d be trapped in the current too and they’d both get pulled away from the shore. She tried to call out but her mouth filled with water the moment she opened it. Even if she’d been able to he wouldn’t have heard. The sea was shouting and in her head Sadie screamed back.
You can’t have them!
She began to swim again, trying to see a way she could get to them without getting caught in the current, but her arms were tired and her lungs fit to burst and she could barely make out where they were from one second to the next. On the shore, Declan was waiting for them, and she could only hope that he was OK, but she couldn’t think about that. Right now, all she could think about was that all three of the people in the sea at this moment might not get out again. And she didn’t even care that she might be the one who didn’t make it – she only cared that the other two did.
Her muscles screamed and her limbs were so heavy she could barely get them to move, and yet she did, straining for every stroke, legs almost numb with cold but still kicking. But she was slowing down and she was getting weaker and she knew she couldn’t keep going for much longer. She saw that Luke had reached Ewan and they were both trying to make a break
for one of the huge struts that supported the pier, hopeful, perhaps that the current would sweep them in that direction and that they could cling on until they were rescued. Sadie could only hope they’d make it, because she had nothing left now.
She turned herself round and tried to get to shore. She could either trust that Ewan and Luke had done enough to save themselves and try to save herself too, or she could keep going and die here – because she was certain that if she carried on swimming out she would drown. But she hadn’t been prepared for how strong the current would be, and how much the sea wanted to keep her from the shore, and how weak she was now, because no matter how she flailed and reached, she didn’t seem to get any closer. Then she saw Declan wading into the waves and her heart sank. They’d just saved him and he was coming in again to get her and now all four of them might die. If things hadn’t been quite so desperate it might have been funny, and in her half-delirious state she felt like laughing. She would have too, if opening her mouth wouldn’t have caused her to swallow half the Solent.
Then she saw him get closer, and she felt his hands grip her and he started to pull her back. He was stronger than her – perhaps stronger than all of them – and right now she was glad of it. If he hadn’t been so strong he might not have survived at all. But as he hauled her onto the shore she began to sob.
‘Ewan…’ she wept, exhausted, utterly wretched. ‘He’s out there with Luke.’
Declan wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. She leaned against him as they sat on the sand together, too tired and weak to do anything else, and she cried.
‘Don’t worry,’ he said, his voice husky and exhausted too, all traces of his drunkenness gone. ‘Coastguard’s here.’
Sadie looked out to see the lights of the boat, and she uttered a silent prayer of thanks for their arrival. But Ewan and Luke weren’t safe yet.
‘Dec!’
Sadie looked vaguely for the source of the new voice and saw Melissa running towards them.
‘What the hell is going on?’ she shouted.
Declan didn’t move, and he didn’t let go of Sadie.
‘What are you doing with her? Why are you both wet? What’s the lifeboat doing here?’
Declan shook his head. ‘Now’s not the time, Melissa.’
‘It bloody well is!’
‘No! It’s not! For once stop thinking about yourself and look at the bigger picture! Two men might be dying out there as we speak and all you care about is the fact that I’m sitting here with Sadie! You’ve always been obsessed with Sadie, convinced that she’s out to get you. Did you ever stop to consider that you might be the problem, not her?’
Sadie opened her mouth to say something, but her thoughts were sluggish and she couldn’t form the words. All she could think about was that she might be about to lose her brother and the man she’d begun to believe might be her future. She glanced down the beach, beyond Melissa and out at the sea where the coastguard’s boat had now stopped and was bobbing on the water, its engines silent. A small crowd of onlookers was beginning to gather and one figure broke free and ran towards them.
‘Andy,’ Declan said wearily.
‘What’s happened?’ Andy asked.
Sadie looked up at Sea Salt Bay’s part-time lifeguard. His face was in gloom now, obscured by the dusk that had settled over the beach, but she could make out the lines of concern.
Declan nodded towards the water. ‘Ewan and that Goldman fella are out there.’
‘Looks to me like you’ve been in there too.’
‘Yes. Idiot me started it. Long story. Safe to say there are many regrets right now.’ He glanced at Melissa but she looked awkwardly away.
‘Are either of you injured?’ Andy asked.
‘I don’t think so.’ Declan looked down at Sadie, and she craned her neck to look round at him. She gave her head a small shake – it was all she had the energy to do.
Andy cast his gaze back to the water. ‘Unless I’m very much mistaken it looks as if they’ve managed to pull someone out.’
Sadie heard the boat engines coming to life again, confirming Andy’s statement.
‘Where will they take them?’ she asked.
Andy shook his head slowly. ‘Depends on what state they were in when they fished them out.’
Declan’s arms folded tighter around her. For once, he wasn’t who she needed, but he was all she had right now.
Chapter Twenty
There had been four ambulances lined up on the promenade, one for each of them. Sadie couldn’t help but feel it was a bit surplus to requirements, though she didn’t doubt that her brother and Luke, at least, needed theirs.
Miracles did happen, though, and she’d never been so relieved to see the evidence of that. She’d been deemed fine, if a little cold and wet, by her paramedic, and Declan had quickly been given the all-clear too. Ewan had a slight case of hypothermia and dehydration and Luke a marginally more severe case, but it was nothing that a night under observation in hospital wouldn’t fix for the both of them. Declan had gone home with Melissa. They had a lot to talk about, and Sadie was hopeful that in light of the evening’s events Melissa would be a bit more inclined to listen to what he had to say.
At the hospital she went to Ewan first. By now, Kat and the kids were there too. Henny was on her way down, but Graham had stayed at home with April, having been reassured on the phone by Ewan that he and Sadie were fine and there was no point in distressing his grandma over it.
‘Hey,’ Sadie said, sitting next to Kat on the spare seat by the bed. ‘How are you?’
‘Fed up,’ Ewan said. ‘I don’t see why I have to be in here.’
‘Because you almost drowned?’ Kat said, arching her eyebrows.
‘I didn’t almost drown. I would never have drowned – everyone’s getting carried away with this drowning business. And to be rescued by the lifeboat – I’m never going to live it down.’
‘Well,’ Sadie said, ‘perhaps living full stop is better than just living it down. You’ll just have to suck it up, Aquaman, because it happened and everyone in the bay will know by tomorrow.’
‘Nobody will come for diving lessons from a man who needed to be rescued by the lifeboat,’ he said, pouting.
‘Of course they will,’ Kat said. ‘By tomorrow everyone’s going to think you’re a hero.’
‘A crap hero, granted,’ Sadie cut in. ‘But they’ll probably book diving lessons just the same.’
He scowled at her and she gave a tired grin. She could joke about it with him now, because ribbing and banter was their default sibling setting, but it was harder to wipe from her mind the image of the boat hauling his floppy body out of the sea. Things could so easily have been very different and far more tragic than they’d turned out to be, and Sadie couldn’t forget that either. Family meant everything, and sometimes that truth got lost in the noise; it took something like today to bring it back into focus again. No matter what else happened from this point on, her brother was here with them and she’d always be thankful for that.
‘Have you been to see Luke yet?’ Kat asked.
Sadie shook her head. ‘I’m going in just a minute. I wanted to see Ewan first.’
‘Don’t you think you ought to? After all, he’s got nobody else here and Ewan has all of us. I think we could spare you for a minute if you wanted to go along the corridor.’
‘Yeah, and I’ll see you at home in a few hours anyway,’ Ewan said.
‘Luke will see me too.’
Ewan looked at her carefully for a moment. ‘Want to tell me what was going on tonight?’
Sadie gave a small smile. ‘I could, but by the time I’d finished the story it would be time for you to go home. It’ll wait.’
He nodded, content to let things go for now.
‘Want to tell me why you were looking for me?’ she asked.
‘Well…’ he began, and he shot an awkward glance at Kat.
‘He came to tell you,’ Kat cut in, ‘that
he’s put your grandmother straight on a few things. Namely, that it was his idea you should withdraw your services from the waffle house. She wanted to talk to you about it. I think she wanted to apologise so Ewan came to find you.’
‘Couldn’t you have phoned me?’ Sadie looked at him now.
Ewan shifted awkwardly. ‘It was sort of…’
‘What he had to tell you he wanted to tell you in person,’ Kat cut in again.
‘Why?’ Sadie asked, looking from Kat to Ewan and then back again.
‘Because your grandma was talking about cutting you from her will. Ewan realised that he really had thrown you under the bus because he’d been a total pig-headed dick about everything and he needed to apologise and you can’t make an apology of that magnitude on the phone.’
‘She was doing what?’
‘It’s sorted now,’ Ewan said. ‘I’ve put her straight and she loves you again. It’s me she’s not quite so keen on now.’
‘Well, I’d tell you I feel sorry for you but I don’t.’
‘I thought it was the right thing to do. And don’t forget Mum and Dad agreed to it too.’
‘True. In that case, and in view of the fact you nearly died I’m going to forgive you.’
Ewan smiled. Even now, when he’d been lost at sea and dragged out with mild hypothermia and shock, his smile could still light up a room. ‘He’s alright, you know.’
‘Who?’
‘Goldman.’
‘You mean Luke?’
‘Yeah. Lucky he was passing.’
‘I wish you’d stop calling him Goldman. And I told you so.’
‘For once, I’m going to admit that you were right and I was wrong – but don’t get too used to it. I’m sure it won’t happen again.’
‘I’m sure it won’t,’ Sadie said, her smile spreading as she got up from her chair. ‘I’ll try not to let the dizzy wine of success go to my head.’
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