by B R Snow
“Remind me to tell you something later,” I whispered to Chief Abrams, then addressed the table. “Josie, since the lasagna is right in front of you, why don’t you serve yourself, then pass left? I’ll follow with the salad,” I said, sneaking a peek at Chef Claire who was well aware of what I’d dubbed; Operation Torment.”
“Fine,” Josie said, taking a very small serving of what everyone knew was her favorite lasagna.
She passed the tray to my mother who was staring down at Josie’s plate bewildered by what she was seeing. Or rather by what she wasn’t seeing; which was a plate overflowing with lasagna. Then Josie put a tiny portion of salad on her plate and waved away the hot bread.
“Are you all right, dear?” my mother said with genuine concern, completely unaware of my diabolical scheme.
“I’m fine. Just not that hungry,” she said, casting a loving look at the bread basket.
“Are you sure?” Chef Claire deadpanned. “It looks like something is weighing heavily on you.”
I glanced down at my plate to hide my grin, then got to work on my salad.
“So, tell us, darling. Where are you and the Chief at with this latest case?”
“Well, we’re still testing out some theories,” I said, slowly chewing. “Unfortunately, it involves a lot more than just the murder.”
“Really?” my mother said, wiping her mouth with her napkin. “This lasagna is magnificent. Well done, Chef Claire.”
“Don’t thank me,” Chef Claire said, nodding at me. “I’m not allowed in the kitchen on Monday nights. This was all Suzy.”
“Great job, darling,” my mother said. “It’s delicious, isn’t it, Josie?”
“What’s that? Oh, yeah. Delicious,” Josie said, toying with her food, then she caught my mother’s stare. “What?”
“Who are you? And what have you done with Josie?” my mother said, laughing. Then she looked down the table at me. “Can you tell us what’s going on with the case?”
“Geez, I don’t know,” I said, glancing at Chief Abrams. “Can we?”
“I guess it couldn’t hurt,” he said, shrugging. “It’s not like we have anything concrete at the moment. But let’s not get too specific, okay?”
“Got it,” I said, already helping myself to a second serving of lasagna that got a soft groan out of Josie. “It appears that the murder is tied in with a crystal meth operation that’s working in the area.”
“Crystal?” my mother said, scowling. “That stuff is poison.”
“Yes, it is,” I said. “And we think that Sammy’s uncle was somehow involved. We don’t have a clue how yet. But we’re sure that Sammy’s cousin, the dead guy’s daughter, and her boyfriend are up to their necks in this thing. They came in for a chat on Saturday, trying to get their hands on a hundred grand that doesn’t exist. And yesterday the Chief and I headed over to Kingston to scope out a guy we think is one of the buyers.”
“Nice job not getting too specific,” Chief Abrams said, shaking his head.
“Yeah, I should probably work on that, huh?” I said, grimacing. “Our best guess at the moment is at least some of the meth is being smuggled into Canada. Probably by boat right out in front of us. And we think the cookers and the buyers are using the woods behind our place as a meeting place.”
“What?” my mother said, putting her fork down. “They’re using my woods as a place to smuggle crystal meth?”
I stared dumbfounded at my mother.
“Your woods? Are you telling me that you own that property?”
“That’s what I’m telling you, darling. I can’t believe it.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me you owned that land?”
“Darling, if I sat here and told you everything I owned, we’d be here all night.”
“When did you buy it?” I said, still stunned by the news.
“It was shortly after you and Josie opened the Inn.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t want anybody building behind your place,” she said, gently sliding a forkful of lasagna into her mouth. “And I thought we might want to do something with it in the future.”
“Like what?”
“Well, at first, I must admit that I thought it would be a great spot for a golf course,” she said, shrugging. “Then I briefly toyed with the idea of turning it into a combination day spa and retreat. You know, a place for people to recharge the batteries. But the numbers didn’t work at all. So, I moved to another idea.”
“Which is?” I said, raising an eyebrow at her.
“A combination zoo and animal sanctuary,” she said, softly.
I let her comment roll around in my head, then grinned.
“You never stop, do you? It wasn’t enough to figure out a way to get us to the Caymans in the winter. You’re totally committed to making sure I never leave the area, aren’t you?”
“Yes, darling, I am. Even after I’m gone, I expect you to be here.”
I flinched at her reference to mortality but recovered and turned to Chief Abrams. “Remember when you called me diabolical the other day?”
“Sure.”
“Well, that’s where I get it from,” I said, pointing at my mother. “An animal sanctuary? Wow. Now that is a really interesting idea, Mom.”
“It certainly is,” Josie said.
“Just think about how many visitors a place like that would attract,” my mother said. “Not to mention how many year-round jobs it would create.”
“It would cost a fortune to build and run a place like that,” Chief Abrams said.
“Yes, it will,” my mother said. “But we’d set it up as a non-profit, and, if we do have any annual losses, the endowment will cover them. Based on my preliminary numbers, if we’re smart, we should be able to at least break even.”
“Endowment?” Josie said.
“Yes, dear.”
“What endowment?” I said, completely forgetting about eating the rest of my dinner.
“Oh, a little of my money, and some from several friends I’ve been talking to. But let’s not worry about that at the moment. For now, you need to focus on getting rid of the creatures who are selling crystal meth on my property.”
“Unbelievable,” I said, shaking my head in disbelief. “How much land is there?”
“A little over three hundred acres,” my mother said. “I can’t remember the actual number, but I can check with Rooster if you like.”
“Why would you check with Rooster?”
“Because I bought the land from him,” my mother said, shrugging. “Actually, he pretty much just gave it away. What’s the matter, darling?”
“I was just thinking about money again,” I said, spearing a forkful of salad.
“For the hundredth time, it’s not money that’s the problem. It’s what one chooses to do with it.”
“And your choice is to build a zoo?”
“Why not?”
I thought about the question, then took another bite of lasagna.
“You know, Mom, at the moment, I can’t think of a single reason.”
Chapter 22
Despite strong protests from the Chief, I headed out alone the next morning to pay a visit to Larry’s Landscaping located a few miles out of town on Route 3. After dinner last night, we’d put our heads together and decided that Carl hadn’t come up with the cover story about he and Jolene working at a landscaping company by accident. And after reviewing a list of all the landscaping businesses within a thirty-mile radius, Larry’s Landscaping seemed to be the most likely candidate.
First of all, Larry Gentile, the owner, had recently relocated to the area to set up shop. Second, we didn’t know anybody who had actually used his services. And in a small town like ours, if people were doing business with Larry’s Landscaping, we would have heard about it. Finally, we zeroed in on him because it appeared that Larry did little or no advertising and was apparently relying on word of mouth to generate business. Which led us back to the fact that ne
ither one of us had ever heard anyone talking about the place. We went back to debating Larry’s possible motives behind his decision not to advertise, beat that topic to death, then talked some more about the lack of word of mouth.
Then I got a headache and decided to just pay Larry a visit in the morning.
And that was when the Chief started carping about my decision to go alone. When I reminded him about the damage a cop showing up unannounced might do to our investigation, he acquiesced and sent me on my way with a reminder to call him immediately should anything out of the ordinary happen.
I parked between a house and a metal structure that resembled a large garage. But I did see a small sign above the door and knew I was in the right place. I strolled across the dirt parking area and looked around. The house was old, but the structure was definitely new. I walked inside and found the place empty except for bags of fertilizer and mulch and a single truck with the name Larry’s Landscaping on the side parked in the back corner. I stood in the center of the room, glanced around, then looked up when I heard a noise coming from the rafters right above where the truck was parked. I listened briefly to what sounded like two men whispering.
“Hello,” I called.
“Yeah?” a voice from above said.
“Are you Larry?”
“Who wants to know?” he grumbled.
Nice customer service, I thought. Maybe Larry liked dirt more than people.
“Oh, just a potential customer,” I said, deciding to remain pleasant for the moment.
“Hang on,” he said, obviously annoyed. “I’ll be right down.
I stared up at the rafters, heard some more whispered chatter, then watched him climb down a ladder extending from the back of a platform that sat about twenty feet off the ground. Then I caught a glimpse of somebody ducking behind a stack of white and green plastic bags and shook my head.
“Oh, Carl,” I whispered to myself. “What are you doing?”
The grumbling man reached the bottom of the ladder and headed toward me wiping his hands on his pants. When he got close, he extended his hand, and I returned the handshake. He was rail thin and either had a head cold or a head full of something he’d recently inhaled. His fingers were twitching, and the film around his eyes reminded me of a doughnut that had been dipped in glaze.
I had no clue why I was thinking about food at the moment. This guy was a total appetite killer.
“You’re Larry?”
“I am. And you are?”
“Looking for someone to do some landscaping at my house,” I said, beaming at him. “I’m Suzy.”
“Landscaping, huh?” he said, staring at me. “Well, I’ll be happy to help, but I’m pretty booked up at the moment.”
“That’s too bad. How long before you could start work?”
“Gee, I’d have to check my schedule,” he said, looking for somewhere to put his hands and ultimately deciding on the back pockets of his jeans. “But it would probably be at least a month. Maybe longer.”
“That’s a long time to wait,” I said, frowning. “Maybe I should look for someone else.”
“Well, that’s your call,” he said, taking a few steps toward the ladder and sneaking a glance up at the rafters. Then he turned around and smiled. “Tell you what, why don’t you wait here while I go grab my calendar, and I’ll give you an exact start date. That would give you something to work with.”
“That would be great,” I said, then called out as he started to head for his office. “Oh, and if you could also bring back a few references I could speak to, that would be great.”
“References?” he said, stopping and turning around.
“Yeah. Testimonials from a couple of people you’ve done work for in the past. I always like to check references before I sign any contracts.”
“Oh, sure. References,” he said, frowning. “Uh, you might have to wait a day or two for those. My computer is on the fritz at the moment.”
“Don’t you just hate when that happens?”
I watched him head into the office then I heard the unmistakable sound of a cellphone buzzing. I listened to the hushed whispers coming from above, then glanced through the office window and noticed Larry talking to someone on his phone.
“A couple of geniuses at work here,” I whispered to myself as I glanced back and forth between the office and the rafters.
The whispers from above stopped, and I snuck a quick glance up at the rafters. One of the bags was being inched partway over the edge of the platform. I recognized the brand since the landscaper who’d done our dog play area had used the same product. It was a fertilizer that came in hundred-pound bags, and I knew that from a height of twenty feet, the impact would probably be enough to kill me if I got hit in the right spot. Like in the head.
Not that I was worried about Carl being able to hit me.
But since it was starting to look like he was definitely going to try, I thought it would be a good idea for me to stay on my toes. Larry came out of the office carrying a large day planner.
“Let’s have a look at my schedule,” he said. “Say, why don’t we do this over at the truck? I think the lighting is better over there.”
“Lead the way,” I said, following Larry to the back of the truck.
He lowered the tailgate and set the day planner on it. He began flipping through the pages, all of which looked empty.
“No, that week is out,” he said, turning the page.
“But there’s nothing written on it,” I said.
“Yeah, that’s because I keep all of it in here,” he said, tapping his head.
“Then why do you need a day planner?” I said, casually.
“Uh, for tax purposes?”
“Sure, sure.”
Larry kept inching his way to his left, forcing me either to rub up against him or end up positioned right below where the bag of fertilizer was perched above my head. I opted for possible death rather than rubbing shoulders with a twitchy crank head who had a severe case of the sniffles. I took a step to my left. Larry kept flipping through pages and occasionally sneaking a peek over his shoulder up at the rafters. He stopped on another empty page, then tapped it with his finger.
“This is it,” Larry said. “The week of the August 15th.”
He snuck another glance up at the rafters.
“How does that sound?”
“Geez, the middle of August? That’s a long time to wait.”
I glanced up, saw a pair of hands reaching for the bag, then shook my head, baffled by the absence of neurons on display.
“I’m really sorry,” Larry said, sneaking a final peek up. “It’s the best I can do. I really wish…I could…do it now!”
I took a step back underneath the platform and watched as Larry tried to dive for cover under the truck. Unfortunately for Larry, the string of his hooded sweatshirt had somehow gotten wrapped around the tailgate latch, and he struggled to free himself. But a hundred-pound bag of fertilizer, falling from a height of twenty feet, didn’t take long to complete its journey. And before I could even try to remember the thirty-two something times something else per second formula used to calculate the speed and force of falling objects, the bag of fertilizer hit Larry on the upper back, drove his chin into the tailgate, then burst open: In the interest of clarity and full disclosure, both his chin and the bag burst. Larry was rendered unconscious on his knees with his chin resting on the edge of the tailgate, bleeding profusely from the mouth, and covered in fertilizer.
“Uh-oh,” the voice above me whispered.
“Indeed.”
“Man, I’m so sorry, Larry. Larry?”
“Carl?”
“Yeah?”
“I thought you worked nights.”
It obviously wasn’t what Carl had expected to hear from me, and I waited out a lengthy silence.
“Uh, well, let’s see. Larry asked me to come in to help him unload a delivery.”
“Of fertilizer?”
“Yeah.
”
“And you just happened to drop one of the bags?”
“Yeah, that’s it. That’s what happened. I’m glad you didn’t get hurt.”
“Me too,” I said, stepping out from underneath the platform.
I walked a safe distance away and looked up at Carl who continued to stare down at the unconscious Larry.
“Do you have a phone?” I said.
“What? A phone. Uh, yeah. I think it’s around here somewhere. Where the heck did I put my phone? Never mind, I think there’s one in the office.”
“That’s okay. I’ll just use mine,” I said, reaching into my pocket.
“You calling the cops?”
“The cops? Actually, I thought I’d start with an ambulance.”
“Yeah. An ambulance. Good idea,” he said, climbing down the ladder.
I made the call, then slid the phone back into my pocket. Carl seemed unsure about his next move, so he settled for a quick scratch as he glanced around the room.
“They said they’ll be here in about twenty minutes,” I said. “Are you okay?”
“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?” he said with a wide-eyed stare.
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you almost killed Larry.”
“Accidents happen, right?” he said, apparently testing out the story he was going to try sticking with.
“Yes, they do,” I said, glancing around. “Look, I’m late for an appointment. You don’t mind waiting for the ambulance by yourself, do you?”
“Oh, no. Not at all. Should I have Larry give you a call?”
“What for?” I said, frowning.
“About the landscaping job. I heard him mention a date around the middle of August.”
“I’ll let you know,” I said, heading for my car. “But I guess we could talk. If he’s out of the hospital by then.”
Chapter 23
I drove away, made the call, and set my phone in its dashboard holder with it set on speaker.
“Hey,” Chief Abrams said. “Have you finished up out there already?”
