by M. S. Parker
But not at this exact moment. I had other work to do here and now.
I slid my hand around her ribcage, and she caught her breath, making me smile. She was ticklish. I didn’t explore that more, but I did file it away for future consideration. Her skin was silk under my palm as I explored every inch of her body.
It was the middle of the afternoon, and I had another lesson before supper, but I wasn’t going to rush, even if it got me in trouble. Nyx needed more than just a quickie, and I had a feeling the Huxleys would understand that, even if they didn’t understand the exact nature of what Nyx needed.
I leaned back on my heels and pulled her toward me. If we hadn’t both still been wearing clothes, I could have slipped inside her right then. My stomach clenched at the idea of skin-to-skin contact. I’d always been careful when it came to sex, even more so after I caught my dad and Antoinette together. I honestly wasn’t sure I’d ever want to go without protection, no matter how serious things got between myself and my partner. But the idea of taking Nyx bare made my dick ache.
Fuck. What was this woman doing to me?
She rocked against me, the zipper from my jeans pressing painfully into my cock. Not enough to turn me off, but it gave me the edge I needed to keep from rushing. I put one hand on the small of her back, the other on her hip.
“Lean back,” I ordered. “I want to see you come like this.”
A momentary hesitation and then she did as she was told, trusting me to keep her from falling. Her face was flushed, pupils wide enough that the brilliant green of her irises was reduced to a thin ring.
“Hold on to my arms.”
She grabbed my forearms, nails scratching hard enough to make my cock twitch.
Fuck. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to come in my pants like some horny teenager.
“You can close your eyes if you want.” I pushed up against her, and she gasped. “Whatever you need to let go and let me take care of you.”
I rolled my hips, and at the same time, pulled her toward me. The moan she let out told me everything I needed to know. I repeated the movement once, then twice.
Her head tipped back, eyes closed, lips parted. My own pain and pleasure fell into the background as I focused everything on making her come. Her body moved with mine, guided by my hands, and her nails bit into my skin. She let out a little cry, her muscles tightening, and I jerked her hard against my cock, letting out a hiss of pain as the metal teeth of my zipper pressed through the cotton of my underwear into sensitive flesh.
“Bradyn…”
Her whimpering my name as she came almost undid me. I gritted my teeth and pulled her up to me, wrapping my arms around her to hold her while the aftershocks of her climax washed over and through her.
I took out her braid and combed my fingers through the soft waves before massaging the back of her neck. When her trembling stopped, I kissed her temple and asked a question.
“More?”
She pressed her face to the place where my neck and shoulder met, her breath hot against my already overheated skin. “Yes, please.”
I held her hips as she came – again – my mouth still pressed against her, my tongue moving across her clit in light strokes that drew out her pleasure until she begged me for a reprieve. Giving her one last, long lick, I finally raised my head, unable to stop a smile that I knew was smug.
I propped myself up on my elbows and let myself have a minute to enjoy the visual of Nyx’s naked body. When she was aroused, her chest flushed and her light pink nipples became tight and hard. The way her breasts moved as her breathing began to slow was enticing enough alone. I’d marked those too. There was also a matching bruise-like mark on the inside of her thighs.
“Fuck.” Her voice sounded almost rough, probably because she’d been screaming my name not too long ago.
I really hoped none of the Huxleys had been outside.
I climbed off the bed and bent down to brush my lips over hers. I started to turn away, but she reached up and grabbed my wrist.
“It’s all right.” I took her hand and raised it to my mouth for a kiss. “I’ll be right back.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.” I leaned over her again, but this kiss lingered. “I need a condom.” I took two steps toward my dresser and then looked back at her. “Unless you want us to be done…”
She shook her head. “I want more.”
Her eyes no longer had that haunted look, but there were still shadows.
Giving her a smile that I hoped would chase some of that darkness away, I winked at her. “Your wish is my command, firebird.”
“You do know that’s a car, right?”
I picked up a condom from the top drawer, and on a whim, grabbed a length of rope too. As I turned back to her, a question popped out. “Are you giving me attitude?”
Shit. I hoped that wasn’t something her bastard abuser had asked her. I hadn’t even thought before I’d said it. I’d just been in Dom mode. Then she shivered, heat flooding her eyes.
Fuck.
I hadn’t thought it was possible for me to get harder.
“I’m going to punish you for that.” I paused, waiting to hear her safe word.
“Yellow.” Her voice was soft, but I didn’t hear any fear in it.
That was her signal to take it slow, that she wasn’t sure how she felt about what I wanted to do. Not all subs or Doms have two safe words, one for proceeding with caution and one to stop immediately, but I always thought it made things easier because ‘punishment’ could be such a broad subject that what I had in mind might or might not bother her.
I held up the rope. “Roll over and put your hands behind your back.”
Her lips curved into a smile, and she did as she was told, crossing her wrists at the small of her back automatically.
“I take it you’ve done this before,” I said as I climbed onto the bed.
I straddled her legs and let muscle memory set up a quick release column knot. It wasn’t as complex as some knots I’d used in the past, but it’d hold her, and if she used her safe word, I’d be able to get her out of it easily. The entire point of this was to help her, not trigger another attack.
“From your side of things, yes.” She turned her head so her voice wasn’t muffled.
“Good,” I said. “Then you know how to get out of it if you need to.”
Satisfied that she wasn’t going anywhere unless she had to, I moved back down her body and pulled her legs apart. I had to grit my teeth as I rolled on the condom. I’d handled this much foreplay without coming before, but Nyx tested my self-control like no one else ever had.
I put my hands on her ankles and let them leisurely make their way up her long legs, appreciating each curve of her calves, the dip into the back of her knees. Her butt was perfect, two firm globes that fit right into each of my hands. I ran my thumbs along either side of the crease as my hands slid up over her ass to her back. I leaned down, kissed the fire inked at the small of her back, and then did what I’d wanted to do from the first moment I’d seen her tattoo.
I traced it with my tongue. The fire first, and then followed the smoke up her spine to where it turned into feathers. By the time the feathers became a phoenix on the back of her neck, she was squirming and making the sexiest little gasps and moans.
“My little firebird,” I whispered in her ear before lightly biting down on her earlobe. “Are you ready for me?”
I reached back and slid two fingers inside her. She yelped in surprise, but there was no pain in the sound. She was wet as she pushed back against my hand. I bit her shoulder, and she cursed.
“I’m in charge,” I reminded her. “You take what I give you.” I kissed the middle of her back. “I’ll get you there again.”
She made a frustrated sound but stopped moving. Well, she stopped trying to control how I was working my fingers into her. She didn’t stop squirming, but I wasn’t sure if she even could.
It didn’t matter. I wasn�
�t going to make her wait any longer because I couldn’t wait either.
I tipped her hips up to give me the angle I wanted and then slid inside with one smooth stroke. Her body shuddered under mine, muscles tensing, squeezing, and it was all I could do to keep from losing it. My fingers curled into the sheets on either side of Nyx’s waist, my knuckles turning white. I exhaled between clenched teeth and closed my eyes.
Starting line-up, Chicago Bulls, November 1, 1996. Ron Harper, Michael Jordan, Luc Longley, Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman. Playing against the Boston Celtics. Final score, 107 to 98.
Some guys recited baseball stats to get their minds off coming.
I liked 1990s basketball, specifically the Chicago Bulls. I didn’t have to use it very often, but it worked.
I opened my eyes and pulled back until just the tip remained inside her. Without a pause, I surged forward again, bringing us to that place where we were as close as two individuals could physically be. Keeping one hand on her hip, I grabbed her bound wrists to give me leverage and then took her with deep, relentless strokes that had her crying out, her fingers curling and flexing. Over and over, I drove into her, the angle letting my cock drag over her g-spot with every thrust.
“Bradyn, please!” Her voice shook with desperation. “I can’t…I can’t…I can’t…”
“You can.” I growled the words, the pressure inside me almost too much to stand. “Come again. Let me feel it.”
She shook her head, curses and unintelligible sounds pouring out of her, but not her safe words. She pulled at her restraints but didn’t do anything that would actually get her free, even though she knew what to do if that was what she really wanted.
She trusted me to get her where she wanted to go.
“Fuck.” I could feel myself losing it.
I slid the hand on her hip around and down until I could slip my fingers between her legs. Two circles around her clit, and then two taps were all it took to send her over the edge.
And not a moment too soon, either. I buried myself deep and followed.
Thirteen
Bradyn
Well, damn.
I stared up at the ceiling and tried to catch my breath. Even through the post-orgasmic haze, I was aware of Nyx next to me. I wanted to reach over and pull her to my side, but I wasn’t sure how she’d take it. As a Dom, it was my responsibility to take care of my sub, but I didn’t know if she’d consider that crossing a line or just being part of aftercare.
I was thinking too much.
“I’ll be right back,” I said as I pushed myself up. I grimaced as I pulled off the condom and dropped it in the trashcan next to the bed.
In the bathroom, I quickly cleaned myself off, then got a clean washcloth and wet it with warm water. I grabbed some lotion out of the closet and took that back into the bedroom with me. As I sat on the edge of the bed next to her, I held up the washcloth.
“May I?”
After a moment’s hesitation, she nodded. I didn’t say anything as I ran the cloth over her body, or even when I rubbed lotion into her wrists where the rope had been. She didn’t have any marks, and the rope itself was soft, but pretty much anything would chafe if you pulled at it long enough.
Only after I finished and crawled back into bed, this time pulling the sheet over us both, did I break the silence.
“Before you showed up in the barn, I’d intended to come find you.” I lay on my side, facing but not touching her. I didn’t know how this conversation might go, and I didn’t want her to feel trapped in any way. “I need to apologize.”
A little crease formed between her eyebrows, and I was tempted to smooth it out. Still, I kept my hands to myself. It shouldn’t have been so hard not to touch her. Fuck, I’d just been inside her. How could I feel like I hadn’t touched her for days?
“To start with, I behaved like an ass in New York,” I began. “I only heard half of a conversation and jumped to conclusions. I should have asked what was going on and let you explain as much as you could. And I should have been more understanding of your need to keep your client’s confidence.”
“I think we can both agree that we both did things wrong that morning,” she said, one corner of her mouth tipping up.
“Thanks.” I reached out and tucked some hair behind her ear, contenting myself with that small contact for now. “But I have more to apologize for than that. I behaved like a jealous ass the other night with Isaac. I didn’t have any right to get involved. I knew Isaac wouldn’t take advantage of you if you weren’t sober enough to consent, but I hated the idea that you wanted him.”
She laughed. Her eyes were still guarded, but at least I got a laugh rather than a curse. “Well, I was drunk and kissed Isaac because I was jealous of the woman I’d thought you’d just slept with, so I guess we were the same there too.”
“In case there’s any doubt,” I said, “I didn’t sleep with anyone while you were gone. In fact, I hadn’t slept with anyone in months until we got that room at Hades.”
“I haven’t either.” She paused, then added, “The first part, I mean. I didn’t have sex with anyone but you since that time at Hades, either.”
I was tempted to ask when she’d last slept with someone else, but I wasn’t sure I actually wanted to hear the true answer.
“Well, this next apology is all me,” I continued. “I accused you of using Shadae and Brew, of using me, even after you apologized for getting mad about Antoinette and told me as much as you were allowed about why you were here. I was an idiot. I thought my parents had heard about the film I’ve been working on and were worried that I would embarrass the family. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d done something underhanded.” I forced myself to hold her gaze. If she could look at me while I confessed how shitty I’d treated her, the least I could do was take it. “I am so sorry.”
She reached out and ran her fingers over the stubble I hadn’t shaved this morning. “Thank you.”
“Do you think we can move past what happened?” I felt like I was literally holding my breath. “Put it behind us?”
Her eyes slid away from me, following her hand as her fingers ran from my shoulder to my elbow. “If anyone can understand wanting to forget about the past, it’s me.”
Shit. “I’m sorry, that was completely thoughtless of me–”
She put her fingers on my mouth and met my eyes again. “I wasn’t talking about…well, not exactly about that.”
I caught her hand, pulling it away from my mouth but not letting it go. I threaded my fingers between hers and squeezed. Something on her face made me think she was about to share something else about her past that wasn’t easy.
“When I was at the jail, the reason I…the reason why that happened…” She shook her head and sighed. “I was in juvie as a teenager and people who know about it, that’s all they can see when they look at me.”
Okay, that hadn’t been even close to what I’d thought she was going to say. I said the first thing that came to mind. “Not everyone. Kaimi doesn’t treat you like a criminal.”
Nyx laughed, and it was a real laugh, one that lit up her whole face. “Where do you think Kaimi and I met?”
“Well, shit. I just can’t say anything right, can I?” I shook my head.
She squeezed my hand. “It’s all right. We don’t talk about it much, but we don’t hide it either. Sitara and Rose know about both of our pasts.”
I waited for her to explain why she’d been incarcerated for five years, but she didn’t offer. As good as she was at masking what she was feeling, I could read this. She was waiting for me to decide if I could let it go without asking what’d happened, or if I would insist on hearing the details.
“If you ever want to talk about it with me, I’ll listen.” I released her hand and curled my fingers around the back of her neck, my thumb resting on her jaw. “But I’m not going to push or assume. I may fuck up, and I’ll never be perfect, but I try to learn from my mistakes.”
Relief flo
oded her face, and I knew I’d made the right call.
I’d gone about this whole thing wrong from the beginning, made assumptions in a lot of different places, not just when it came to why Nyx had come to Savannah. I thought I’d understood having trust issues because of what had happened with Antoinette and my father, but one bad relationship couldn’t begin to compare to the abuse Nyx had gone through.
While anyone being hurt like that was monstrous, she’d been hurt by someone who should have protected her, and when she was able to share what had happened to her, no one had believed her. Not her mother, not the cops. I still didn’t understand what had sent Nyx from that to juvie, but I didn’t need to. She’d had her trust betrayed in a horrible fashion.
I’d always prided myself on caring for the women I’d been with, whether as a ‘vanilla’ girlfriend or as a Dom/sub relationship, but I’d completely fucked that up with Nyx. How could I have expected her to feel safe when I was so focused on myself that I failed to see that she needed my protection much more than I needed it for myself?
“You look like you’re thinking way too hard for someone who just got laid,” Nyx pointed out. “If you have something on your mind, I can go.”
She started to roll over, and I reached out, pulling her back to me for a kiss. I didn’t drag it out, but I did make it thorough enough that she looked a little dazed when I pulled back.
“Um…thanks?”
I brushed the back of my hand down her cheek. “I like seein’ you blush like that, firebird.”
She rolled her eyes and sat up, holding the sheet to her chest. “Don’t you have a lesson you need to be getting to?”
“That eager to get rid of me?” I smiled as I asked the question, but it wasn’t all a joke. She’d come to me for comfort and distraction. I wasn’t foolish enough to think that just because we’d had sex and I’d apologized for my previous behavior that she and I were going to waltz off into the sunset.
