Colton said something in return, but I couldn’t hear it. I was lost, drowning in disappointment. Lily’s cries grew louder and louder in my head. This was her last wish before she took her final breath. To have her work out there for the world to see. It was over before I had even begun.
My body jumped as Colton’s large hand landed on my shoulder. Turning to him, I saw the concern etched on his face. “Are you all right?”
“No,” I gritted back, pushing past him and darting out into the harsh sunlight.
“Tia, wait,” he called, stopping me before I reached the car. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything! This whole trip has been a total nightmare. Just one fucking kick after another. I should never have come here.” I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I scrambled around in my bag for the car keys.
“But the job is still going ahead. Isn’t that what you wanted? Now you can do your own design. And Roger said it himself, your work is good. What’s the problem?”
I growled at him, pushing him back from the driver’s door. “You don’t get it. If it’s not Lily’s design, then there’s no point. I was doing this for her. That’s why I came here in the first place. For her.” I wiped a tear from my cheek and ripped open the car door. “I’ll find someone else. Someone who can do just as good a job.”
He held the door open so that I couldn’t shut it. “But that could be you, Tia. It should be you.”
I laughed at the mere idea. “No way! I’m done with this place. After everything I went through back in New York, and now I have to deal with all this shit. No! I’m done.”
I slammed the door shut before he could argue back with me. What did he know? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And I fully intended to keep it that way. I didn’t need anyone’s pity or support. I’d lived without it my entire life and wasn’t going to take any now.
I drove back up the cabin, hoping Colton wouldn’t follow.
Through my tears, I tried to focus on the road, but that organizing twitch in my head was already taking center stage with a list of things to do next.
Find a replacement.
After everything Roger had already done for me, I couldn’t leave him in the lurch. There were enthusiastic artists everywhere. I was sure I’d find a decent replacement by next week.
Then it was done. I had my new plan and as soon as step one was complete, I would be able to get the hell out of this damn town for good.
Chapter Ten
Colton
“Can you pass me another bolt?”
Dad knelt down to the tool box and scrambled around for the right size. “I could have done this myself, you know? But you know your mother. She starts flapping when I’m up on the stepladders. Two minutes into the job, and she’s got you on the phone.”
“The radio, Dad. She keeps calling me through the radio. You need to tell her about that. She clogs the line.”
He gave me the bolt along with a sympathetic smile. “I’ll talk to her. Not sure how much good it will do though. Maybe meet her half way and answer your phone more.”
“I answer my phone.”
“I didn’t say you didn’t. I said, answer it more.”
I attached the bold, ignoring the subtle guilt trip. “All done here.”
He took a step back and looked up at the garage door with unnecessary pride. “Superb job, son.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me out towards the kitchen. “I’d say that deserves a glass of Mom’s homemade lemonade, don’t you?”
As we stepped into the small kitchen, Shay was at the counter, chopping vegetables for the salad. Mom poured the drinks and looked up at me with hope. “All fixed?”
Dad slapped me on the back. “Thanks to Colt. It pays to be tall one, I guess.”
I couldn’t argue with that. I’d been the tallest in this house by the time I turned fourteen.
Mom handed us each a glass of lemonade and ushered us through to the dining table. “Go on through to the table. Lunch won’t be long.”
When I caught sight of the table, my shoulders clenched up tight.
It was the same show every year. Mom had set out the fancy plates and handmade napkins. In the centre was Shay’s chocolate cake, decorated with gold stars and a sparkly candle, waiting to be lit. But my full attention was on the seat by the window. It was empty, as always, but Mom had hung the familiar blue football jersey on the back just as she always did on Spencer’s birthday.
I hated it. I had always hated it. I tried to get out of this every damn year, and it was the main reason I didn’t come by the house more often. I was crabby before I’d even arrived today. A melancholy birthday party wouldn’t help my bad mood in the slightest.
Mom followed us in with the chicken and placed it on the table. “Well, sit down.”
I took the seat furthest from the empty one and chugged down my lemonade, wishing it was vodka.
“So, how’s work, Colt?” Dad asked, as Mom and Shay dished up the food.
“Oh, you know. Busy since the storm.”
“Yeah, I can imagine. Did I ever tell you about the flash flood we had on the day you were born?”
I couldn’t help but smile at him. He was notorious for repeating the same old stories. “Yeah, I’ve heard it a couple of times, Dad.”
“Your mother didn’t speak to me for a week,” he continued on. “She said it was unforgivable to miss the birth of your first born child. You know what I told her, Colton?”
Of course I did. “You told her that saving five people from drowning was a good enough excuse. That it was all part of the job, and you would try to make it to the next one.”
He roared with laughter, awarding himself with a smack on the arm from Mom. “Almost thirty years later, son, and she’s still sore about that one. All part of the job though.”
“That it is,” I agreed, tucking into my chicken salad.
Dad had always taken his job as chief ranger seriously. I admired him for it. He served all the way up to retirement, and I had every intention of following in his footsteps just as he had with his own father. There had been a Chief Ranger Haxley in Bluerock for a great many years, and I was proud to carry on that line.
“I ran into Patsy this morning,” Mom said as she passed around the bread rolls. “She said Shay’s new art teacher is living up at the station with you.”
Shay rolled her eyes at her. “She’s not a teacher, Mom. She’s an artist.”
My bad mood worsened with the talk of Tia. I hadn’t seen her since the other day, when she sped off in tears. Everytime I stopped by the cabin, with the hope of talking her around, she was either not home or flat out ignoring me.
“Miss Lopez said I have real talent.”
I stabbed at my chicken as my little sister gushed over her new mentor.
“She works in this fancy gallery in Manhattan. Although, I’m not sure why. Mr Greer showed us some of her sample work, and she’s good enough to be a full-time artist.”
Mom furrowed her brow. “Manhattan, huh? What’s she doing here?”
“I’m not too sure. I’ve only met her once. Colt?”
I looked up to see Shay’s eyes on me. “What?”
“You know Miss Lopez, right? Why did she come to Bluerock?”
“I don’t know,” I muttered back. “Something to do with a friend of hers, I think.” I put my head back down and carried on eating. The last thing I wanted to do today was talk about Tia as well.
I could feel Mom’s eyes examining me from across the table. “So, did you hear the news about Kim, Colton?”
I froze at the sound of the name and glared up at her. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse. “No. Why would I?”
She shrugged innocently. “I just thought you might have heard something. I ran into her father at the drugstore last week. Apparently, Kim’s pregnant. With twins no less.”
My mouth turned dry. I reached for my glass and drained the rest of my drink.
“ Twins ? She’l
l have her work cut out for her.” Dad said, tearing into his bread roll. “Didn’t she marry a lawyer out in New York last year?”
“The year before, honey,” she corrected. “Her father said she’s just bought another salon too. She’s hoping to have it opened before the babies arrive. Can you imagine trying to run a business with two newborns?”
Shay rolled her eyes again and groaned. “It sounds like they can afford a nanny.”
“Yes, I suppose she could. Still, I’ll send her a card when they’re born. It’s the polite thing to do, after all.”
I dropped my fork down with a harsh clang. “Why would you do that?”
She looked at me as though I’d asked a ridiculous question. “Like I said, it’s polite. And I already send her a Christmas card each year. It’s no trouble.”
“ What ? You still do that?” My head shook in disbelief. “Why?”
“It’s the right thing to do.”
Fury burnt up my neck in hot waves. “Sending a Christmas card to my ex-girlfriend every year is the right thing to do? Are you kidding me?”
Mom placed her fork down and spoke without any hesitation. “She’s not just your ex, Colton. This family will always have a special bond with Kim. And I think Spencer would want us to stay in contact with her.”
My blood boiled. I didn’t want to have this argument again, but I couldn’t stop it from coming out. “He’s dead because of her! Spencer is dead and Kim is alive. Eleven fucking years later, and you’re still not pissed about that? What the fuck, Mom?”
“Colton!” Dad snapped by my side. “Don’t talk to your mother like that.”
I turned in my seat, hoping to get more sense from him. “Aren’t you angry too, Dad?”
“It was an accident, son. And if your mother wants to stay in contact with Kim to ease the loss then we will damn well let her.”
I rubbed my eyes and groaned. “I don’t get you. Why are you not both screaming at the world by now? Kim is out there, living her life. Career, husband, kids. And were still sat here having a birthday party for a fucking ghost!”
“Stop it!” Shay slammed her fist down hard on the table, causing all three of us to jump. “Just stop it! I can’t listen to this stupid fight every year.”
The look in Shay’s eyes almost broke me. She was only six years old when our brother died and relied on other peoples memories to fill up the blank spaces. She always loved Spencer’s birthday because it was the only day in the year she actually felt close to him. Mom and Dad would happily dish out story after story and fill in those empty spaces for her. She loved it. And without fail, I messed it all up with the same bad mood and angry tantrum I always had on this day. I could be a selfish prick at times.
I reached over the table and squeezed my little sister’s clenched fist. “I’m sorry, kiddo.”
She flexed her hand and nodded. “It’s okay. I know it hurts.” She turned to Mom, her mouth was tight and stern. “And you shouldn’t bring up Kim, Mom. You know it upsets him. Especially today.”
Mom looked a little taken back by the telling off but gave her an understanding nod. “You’re right, sweetie. No more talk of it.” She forced on a big smile and began collecting the empty plate. “Come on, everyone. It’s cake time.”
* * *
After a painful day of stabbing an old wound, I was ready for a strong drink. I pulled the truck up to The Outlaw and switched off the engine.
My neck ached for the tension of Spencer’s birthday lunch. By the time I forced the cake down my throat, Mom had already busted out the photo albums, and Dad told the same old story about Spencer’s last big football game when he scored the winning touchdown. He was about to dig out the video tape when I made my excuses and left.
It had been eleven years since his death, but no amount of time helped. Mom and Dad had grieved, but ultimately went on living their lives, remembering the good times. For me, it seemed like the rage would never settle. And the topic of Kim only added fuel to the fire.
It was an accident. I knew it was an accident. After all, I saw the whole thing happen, and I knew deep down it wasn’t her fault. But had my brother not risked his life to save hers, he would still be here now, heading into The Outlaw for a cold beer with his big brother.
The guilt I carried for that day was heavy, but the worse came later, just days after Spencer’s funeral. Kim simply packed her bags and left. Left me and left Bluerock, all for a perfect new life on the East Coast. My brother gave up his life so she could have hers, and now she was spending it with somebody else. How the hell could I feel anything other than blinding rage?
I tugged open the door and let the soft rock music block out the bad memory. Tommy spotted me from behind the bar. “Hey, man. Beer?”
I scoffed back to him and rested my arms on the cool wood. “For starters. I’ll take a double whisky too.”
He drummed his inked up fingers on the bar and chuckled down at me. “That bad, huh?”
“Spencer’s birthday.” I didn’t need to say any more.
He pulled back and rubbed his beard. “That’s today? Shit, man. I’m sorry, I completely forgot. You good?”
“Well, I’m out of the mad house, so the only way is up from here.”
“Are you hungry? I can get Maddie to whip you up a cheeseburger.”
“Nah, I’m good. I just needed a drink.”
Tommy pulled two glasses down off the rack and started to fill them. “On the house.” He handed me one and clinked it against his own. “To Spencer.”
I nodded and shot the drink back.
This was how I wanted to remember my brother. Small and simple, so that it didn’t rub salt further into the wounds. I knew Tommy wouldn’t mention him again for the rest of the night, and I was grateful for it.
I was just about to pull up a bar stool when a clocked the dark haired beauty on the other side of the room. Tia hunched over the bar, scribbling in a notebook, with a half drunk beer in front of her.
Tommy placed a beer bottle in front of me. I thanked him and watched him move on to the next customer. Picking up the bottle, I strolled over to Tia and sat down on the stool next to her.
Her hair was pulled up high on her head, and as soon as I took my seat, I caught the scent of her perfume. It wasn’t sweet like most girls’ perfume. No. Tia smelt like flowers at night. Strong and feminine. The kind of scent that would drop a man to his knees. It was toxic, stirring up a deep primal urge.
She turned to me and groaned. “Before you say anything, I don’t want to talk about the other day.”
“All right.” I nodded, leaning in a little closer to her. “If I promise not to talk about it, will you at least have a drink with me.”
“No.”
I chuckled low in her ear when I spotted that naughty lip curve up. “ Ouch. You really like playing hard to get, don’t you?”
“I’m not playing at anything, Ranger. I’m just not wasting your time.”
“How would getting to know you be a waste of my time?”
She didn’t answer and focused back on her notebook. It looked to be pages and pages of names. Each one had been scratched out, as if she was making her way down the list.
“Are they all the men you refused to have a drink with? Was that my name you just crossed off?”
She tried to keep a straight face but a small giggle slipped out. “I’m trying to find a replacement artist, remember. And I guess my standards are too high because so far it’s been a huge waste of time.”
I didn’t want to push her as I’d promised not to talk about it, but her plans to leave hadn’t shifted, and I knew I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t say something. “Shay said she saw some of you work the other day. She said you’re good enough to sell your own stuff.”
Her eyes sparkled with the compliment. “She said that?”
“I think you’ve got a fan, Miss Lopez.”
“She’s sweet.” Tia looked almost sad and drummed the pencil against the notebook
.
“It’s a shame. She was really looking forward to working with you.”
She looked down and whispered, “It’s complicated.”
I took a sip of my beer and left the comment floating in the air. I could see Tia waiting for me to ask more. But if she wanted to talk about it, then that was her call to make.
Maddie skipped out from the back. As soon as she saw me she bounced over with a huge smile on her face. “Hey, did Tommy tell you the news?”
“What news?”
I glanced over to her brother. He groaned at her excited behavior. “The world doesn’t stop turning, Maddie, just because you got engaged. I’m not gonna announce it to every fucker who walks through my door.”
Tia gasped. “You got engaged?”
Maddie jumped up and down like an excited kid.
My jaw dropped a little. “Logan popped the question?”
“Last night, in the grocery store. I was asking him what we should have for dinner, and he just got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.”
Yep, that sounded like Logan.
I leant over the bar and gave her a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Congratulations, Maddie. That’s awesome news.”
She hugged me back, but as she pulled away, she shot her brother with a smug look. “See, Tommy. Colton didn’t laugh. He thinks it’s romantic. Right, Colt?”
I could see Tommy trying to hide his amusement and had to look away before I caught it myself. Maddie’s face was one of pure joy, and I would never ruin that for her. “Oh, yeah. Spontaneous proposals are always the best. And every time you go to the grocery store, it’ll remind you of one of the happiest days of your life.”
“ Aww ,” she gushed. “That’s so sweet. Thanks, Colton.”
Tia eyed me with suspicion. “Yeah, that is sweet.”
“Why do you sound so surprised by that? Have I not proved my sweetness to you already?”
Before I could tease her more, Maddie interrupted us. “You guys have to come to the engagement party. We’re having it here, tomorrow night, around eight o’clock. I know it’s short notice, but you can both make it, right?”
Lost at Heart: A Steamy Small Town Romance (Bluerock Series Book 2) Page 8
