by Avi Silver
“This is crazy,” Sohmeng groaned one night, her face smooshed on Hei’s lower back. “What were we thinking? Do we even think?”
Hei offered a single dispassionate click before promptly falling asleep on the banana leaf mat Pimchuang Ker had given them. This whole process was exhausting for Sohmeng, but it was doing even more of a number on Hei; they were stretching the limits of their comfort with humans on a daily basis as they socialized the colony.
Sohmeng did what she could to make it easier: no one who disrespected Hei’s space was allowed through the walls. Any questions were directed to Sohmeng and Ahn, with no expectation of a response from Hei unless they decided to give one. It seemed to help; every now and then Hei would briefly engage with someone new, especially if Mama had taken a shine to them. When the training days were over, Sohmeng always made time to cuddle Hei somewhere quiet and decompress.
Ahn, on the other hand, rarely had cuddle time to spare. When he wasn’t helping with the sãoni, he spent his days working on strategic planning and endless combat drills. While Sohmeng rarely attended the defense meetings, she did have the chance to stop by one afternoon to watch Ahn train a group of volunteers.
He was in his element, moving with efficiency and grace. The students who had joined him seemed to be picking up on his instruction, which must have meant he was a good teacher, too. Sohmeng wasn’t sure, really. She was busy looking at the muscles on his back.
“I have no idea how you do this,” she said after Ahn had cheerfully called a brief recess, much to the relief of his students. “I’m exhausted just looking at you.”
“Don’t say that too loudly,” Ahn replied with a little grin, tightening his high ponytail. His cheeks were flushed as he spoke; a bead of sweat rolled down his temple. “We’re just getting started.”
Sohmeng passed him the damp cloth she’d forgotten she was holding. “I’ll send up a prayer.”
“It’s not so bad!” Ahn insisted. “It’s nice, really. Like being back at school—except I suppose I’m the master, now.” He looked over at his students, satisfaction flickering in his eyes as two of them reviewed their drills privately. When he made faces like that, Sohmeng sometimes forgot he was only two years older than her. “I just wish there was time to train more of them. My hope is that if I can do a good enough job with this group, they can pass it on to the rest. I don’t want Nona Fahang unprepared if my sister...”
Sohmeng winced. “Do you think she’ll wait for you?”
“Ólawen has always been the sibling I am closest to. But she’s also very...strong-willed. She doesn’t appreciate demands being made of her.” Ahn rubbed the cloth over the back of his neck, biting his lip. “So, I don’t know. I hope so.”
The doubt in his eyes sent a pang of uncertainty through Sohmeng—it was a lot easier not to give into panic when everyone held strong. She nudged him with her elbow, forcing a grin. “Hey. You got Lita Soon swooning over you. If you can make that happen, you can do anything.”
“That’s not funny,” Ahn said with a groan. “He isn’t swooning!”
“Oh tsongkar!” Sohmeng sighed, holding her hand to her forehead. “With your dreamy sword and your dedication to personal redemption! We were sworn enemies, but now my heart—!”
“Sohmeng!” Ahn was laughing even as he tried to shush her. Thank both the gods that he was such a good sport about her teasing—him and Hei both, really. “I need to get back to training before everyone cools down too much. Let me know how our options for sãoni riders are looking later, okay?”
“Will do.”
Sohmeng had determined that they needed no more than five additional riders to assist in repairing the Sky Bridge. The sãoni themselves reduced the number of bodies needed to carry supplies, and left plenty of people to defend Nona Fahang should the worst happen.
One of the riders had already been confirmed as Polha Hiwei. She knew Eiji well, and had been welcomed by Mama with the happiest rumble Sohmeng had heard so far. The next best choice came from an unexpected place.
“Well hello there,” crooned Eakang, pressing their forehead to Singing Violet’s. The sãoni clicked happily, pushing back. “Aren’t you just the sweetest thing?”
Singing Violet had been the first sãoni Sohmeng had ever ridden alone. She had been there after Sohmeng found the batengmun, a companion through all of Hei and Green Bites’ power struggles. When the other sãoni had first been so scary to her, Singing Violet had been gentle and patient.
It seemed the sãoni’s generous heart extended beyond Sohmeng alone. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that this was a good thing.
Beside her, Hei clicked quietly, their arms crossed as they watched Eakang fearlessly play with Singing Violet. They offered two noises in Sãonipa: You. Alpha.
“I know,” Sohmeng murmured in Atengpa. Mama was unlikely to tolerate a new person guiding her, and with Hei stuck to Green Bites, Sohmeng was the next best candidate. It made sense. Someone else was always going to have to ride Singing Violet; the sãoni had been chosen as a mount specifically because of her unmatched tolerance for new people. But why did it have to be Eakang?
Eakang Minhal had been born into the life Sohmeng had always wanted. They had a community that called them by their name without any fear, that cherished their bold differences and never asked them to hide. The years Sohmeng had lost with her father had fallen straight into their lap, and they didn’t even know how lucky they were. She doubted that Eakang had ever gone a moment in their life without the padding of unconditional love and acceptance. It was easy to hate them.
But hating them wouldn’t undo the years Sohmeng had spent feeling alone. It certainly wouldn’t fix the Sky Bridge. Much as the angriest, most childish parts of Sohmeng wanted to be spiteful and difficult, she recognized how little there was to be gained from it. How much there was still to lose.
With Hei by her side, the two of them ran through the interview with Eakang. She watched them master the directions Ahn and Hei had cobbled together, adjusted their hold as they attempted to ride Singing Violet for the first time. They asked a lot of questions, as per usual, but the questions were thoughtful, and framed respectfully enough that they even got a few answers from Hei. When the process was done, Sohmeng did not hesitate to suggest their name to the Grand Ones. It was only when Sohmeng released some of her grudge that she realized how heavily it had been weighing on her.
Of course, Sohmeng’s newfound sense of inner peace didn’t change the panic that went through the household when Eakang’s role in the excursion was announced.
Pimchuang Ker positively exploded, shouting at both Sohmeng and Eakang in Fahangpa while Jaea Won tried to calm her down. For once, Sohmeng was thankful for the language barrier.
“Child!” Pimchuang Ker shouted at Sohmeng, pointing to Eakang. “Child, a child!”
“Pim, please,” Tonão said softly, but he did not move from his seat, his face in his hands.
Eventually, the arrival of Polha Hiwei and Grand One Minhal settled the issue. In Nona Fahang, Tengmunji was designed based on each individual’s life path. With Eakang set to become a scout, this excursion was the perfect opportunity to earn their adulthood, with Polha Hiwei present as judge. Eventually, this reasoning settled some of the tension, and Eakang was given permission to spend their days training with the sãoni.
To Sohmeng’s surprise, their company was much less grating in this context. Once the other two members of the party were selected, Pangae Ãofe and Mochaka Tang, she even found herself warming up to the idea of Eakang being on the journey. It would be kind of nice, she thought, to introduce them to Grandmother Mi and Viunwei.
But they were no replacement for her father.
As the first day of Ginhãe drew closer, Tonão Sol drew further into himself. He was quieter than usual, his anxiety palpable every time he entered a room. Sohmeng could never tell if he wanted her to spend time with him or stay away, and she didn’t know how to broach the question without hurtin
g him. No matter how many adult roles she was stepping into, being with her father made her feel like a child all over again.
One night, as she was preparing to go back outside the walls after dinner, he approached her. “I’d like to meet Hei,” he said.
Sohmeng could only blink at him, taken aback. “Um...?”
“They’re your partner, aren’t they?” Tonão asked quickly, clearing his throat. “Well, I’m your father. No matter how long I’ve been away. It’s only right that I know who my daughter is involved with.”
“I mean, sure?” Sohmeng laughed a little. There was no need for him to be so insistent; she had wanted to introduce the two of them for a long time, to merge her separate lives. “But Dad, I’ve already told you. Hei isn’t really, they aren’t super comfortable being around lots of people. I’ve asked them to come meet you in Nona Fahang, but—”
Tonão cut her off, his voice oddly stilted: “That isn’t necessary. I can—I can go to them. Outside the walls. I can meet them there.”
His determination made Sohmeng ache, if only because it could not completely hide the fear in his eyes. “Dad, the sãoni...”
“I want to meet them too.” His words poured out in a rush, as though he was racing against his own doubt. “I know your interviews and training are done for the day, and you’re likely very tired, so I understand if you’d rather not. It’s alright if you don’t, it isn’t—” The man paused, pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a deep breath. Sohmeng tried not to let her gaze linger on the old scars up his arm. “Forgive me. Let me try this again: if you have the energy, I would very much like you to introduce me to your partner and their...family.”
Sohmeng bit her cheek, fought the urge to try and protect him. Tonão Sol was her father, a grown man capable of making his own hard decisions. “Of course, Dad.”
As the two of them went hand-in-hand through the banyan wall, Sohmeng felt like she was back on the floor of Eiji for the very first time. Her father’s palm was clammy against hers, his step slightly uneven as they navigated through the trees. The world below the safety of Ateng had changed them both.
“Hei?” she called, helping her father through the final steps. She heard them chirp a hello, and the sound made her nervous all over again. She wanted so badly for them to like each other. “I have someone for you to meet.”
“Aren’t we done with interviews?” Hei grumbled in Atengpa. They had gotten used to keeping their complaints in a private language. “Mama and I need a break.”
“Not an interview this time.” With a deep breath, Sohmeng turned to face them, fighting the urge to bounce with excitement. “Hei, this is my dad. He wanted to meet you, to say hello.”
Hei’s eyes widened, their shoulders hunching in surprise. Sohmeng laughed a little; she loved their nervous lemur face. Behind them, Mama let out a friendly rumble, crawling over to greet Sohmeng.
“Hello to you too,” she said, stepping forward to receive her customary nose press.
“No—”
Sohmeng felt her father before she saw him, felt the grip on her hand tighten almost painfully as he yanked her close. Mama growled in alarm, and Tonão stumbled backwards, his face gone white.
“Dad!” She did her best to keep him from losing balance and knocking them both over. “Dad, it’s okay—that’s just, it’s just Mama. She’s the colony’s alpha, she’s friendly! She’s just curious, she’s curious, it’s a good thing—”
Another uncertain rumble from Mama prompted the other sãoni to echo the noise, and Tonão gripped her tighter. He seemed like he was trying to say something, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the colony.
“Dad,” Sohmeng said, her own anxiety rising as the situation escalated. “Dad, please talk to me. It’s okay, it’s safe here.” She knew her father was scared of the sãoni, but she had never seen him like this before. He was her dad, the grown-up—what was she supposed to do?
Hei’s voice was a balm in the chaos, chirping Sãonipa reassurances from a human throat. They were stroking Mama’s cheeks, settling the alpha back down. When mother and child were both satisfied, Hei turned their attention properly to Tonão. Wary, curious.
What a thing it was, to be given Hei’s full focus. As they slinked over, Sohmeng saw them as her father must have seen them: their animalistic movements, the wildness in their green eyes. Tonão seemed unsure of where to look, trembling so hard that Sohmeng felt it down to her bones.
A loud chirp from Hei pulled the man’s eyes fully from the sãoni and onto the small human before him. His brow furrowed as he swallowed, stumbling through his speech. “I’m sorry, this isn’t—this isn’t how I wanted to...” A chirp from a sãoni made him flinch violently, losing what words he had found.
Hei clicked quietly, tilting their head.
“Hei,” Tonão tried again, but as he met their gaze, a new pain flashed in his eyes. “Heipua Minhal. Burning godseye, you look—I knew, I knew your grandmother, I am so, so sorry—”
This was too much. This was a mistake. Sohmeng was getting ready to pull him back in through the banyan, introductions be damned, when Hei stepped in. The brief look they spared her halted her in place before they turned back to Tonão, regarding the man and his terror and shame with inhuman silence.
They offered him their hands.
Sohmeng’s breath caught. Hei stood, palms open, waiting for Tonão to make first contact. It took the man a moment, but he found his way, and their fingers met so delicately that Sohmeng thought the world might crack then and there.
Tonão did not try speaking after that, simply allowing Hei to guide him away from the wall. Each step was slow, punctuated by reassuring chirps from Hei. When the man realized he was being taken to Mama, he dissolved into a stuttering uncertainty that Hei met with patience. They patted his arms, trilling quietly until they could coax another step from him. One step, then another. Each an act of bravery and trust. Sohmeng could only watch, not daring to interrupt.
One step, then another. It felt like a lifetime before Tonão Sol found the courage to place his palm on the sãoni’s nose. Mama huffed, pressing back to meet his touch. She’d always had a soft spot for lost children.
“Nice to meet you, Sohmeng’s father,” Hei said, guiding his hand between Mama’s head spines.
“The pleasure is mine, Hei,” the man replied tenderly. “Thank you for looking after my daughter.”
Though they didn’t say much after that, Sohmeng thought she felt something pass between them, something that did not need to be spoken aloud. Together, they scratched Mama’s head, eventually inviting Sohmeng to join in. The moons rose high, ushering in the final day of Li.
The next morning, they had their final volunteer.
“Doing alright there, Ahnschen?”
Ahn looked over to see Sohmeng flapping a hand at him from Mama’s back. Her voice rang boisterous and clear; her spirits had been high since leaving Nona Fahang, and the energy was contagious. Even her father seemed to be relaxing after a tense start adjusting to the sãoni.
“Ask Sølshend,” Ahn replied with a smile. “She’s the one doing the hard work here.”
“Well, she can ride on your back on the way home. It’s only fair you take turns.”
Ahn laughed, patting the sãoni on the nose. The creature chirped for a treat, which he popped into her mouth. Soon the sound was being echoed by the rest of the colony—snacking on the go was one of the best ways to keep them happy and moving.
Knowing this, the party had brought along an absurd supply of rations for their reluctant mounts. The sãoni were willful, greedy; getting them to listen at all often felt like training a palace kitten to be a hunting dog. But with a lot of persuasion and no small amount of grumbling, Mama seemed willing to follow Hei’s route. The breakneck pace the alpha had initially set seemed almost retaliatory, but had slowed as the afternoon progressed, much to the relief of the human party.
The group of riders was small but capable: Sohmeng and Tonã
o were taking the lead with Mama, Ahn was close by on Sølshend, Polha Hiwei and Mochaka Tang on Qøngem, and Eakang and Pangae Ãofe on Singing Violet. Hei’s troubles with Green Bites had been at a minimum so far, mostly thanks to their constant redirection.
“How long do you think we’ll ride for?” asked Eakang, leaning over to feed Singing Violet a treat of her own.
“At the rate they’re snacking, the sãoni probably won’t stop to do much hunting,” Sohmeng said. “My guess is that they’ll slow down just before nightfall, when their bodies start to cool, and then we can make camp.”
“Wait until you see how they glow at night,” Ahn said to Eakang, smiling at the way their face lit up. He was glad they had been allowed to come; it was important for young adults to start doing what they loved early. And Sohmeng seemed to be getting less prickly with them too.
“That’s also when we’ll tie off the food, I assume?” asked Polha Hiwei.
“High.” Everyone looked at Hei, surprised to hear them speak. Their shoulders hunched at the attention, but they kept their gaze ahead. “Food high in the trees—no sneaking sãoni eat it.”
Mochaka laughed at that, adjusting his hold on Polha. “These things are massive. How could they possibly sneak up on anyone?”
Ahn cleared his throat, pulling one of the hatchlings from his newly-returned chestplate.“You’d be surprised.”
The hatchlings had grown in the past few weeks: each had been no longer than his forearm when they first hatched, but now their bodies were bigger, tails thicker and legs stronger. When they cuddled up in his arms, Ahn delighted in holding their fat little heads in his palm. It felt nice, to be wanted with no complications. There was no telling how Ólawen would receive him now that he was changed, but the hatchlings loved him for exactly who he was.
