"What color should I paint it? I was thinking purple or green. What color is your room?"
"Navy blue."
"Is that your favorite color?"
I nod and she bounces up smiling again.
"Let's see it. It will help me decide."
"I have neither color you are thinking about in my room."
She rolls her eyes and marches towards the door where I stand. Mom hurries into her room, closing the door softly enough that only vampire hearing would pick it up.
"I know that. I just want to see your room. Let's go."
She opens the door, walking past me. If I don’t want her going through everything I own, I should let her go in, but control her movements. Instead of making her curious and work for it, I will allow her in for a brief glance. Then hurry her right back into her room.
Amber:
Over an hour later I leave Alastair's room and return to mine. Man, I am tired. It has been a long day. I sat down at Alastair's computer desk and questioned him about vampires, werewolves, and everyone else. We weren't in school and when I go back I need to know the dynamics since I am now a permanent member of this society. He told me who is what, which will likely be human haters, and who will open up if I try a direct approach as I have with him.
Thinking about it hurts my head so I go to bed. In the morning I will be shopping for a new bedroom set. My room will be painted green while I am gone. Two shades of green will swirl around, looking all beautiful and perfect. Alastair promises me it will be exactly as I want it. I hope he can deliver. Though, if not, it will give me an excuse to tease him mercilessly.
Chapter Six
The next day is hectic and long. I pick out a wall’s worth of bookcases and books to go on them. I pick out a bed with drawers under the frame; I have always wanted one for extra storage. A dresser, full-length mirror, and little things to personalize my room. Some shelves to put on the walls, a jewelry amour, a computer desk, and a shoe rack. My adoptive mother covers all the bases. I have a feeling she was expecting me to be more girly than I am, but hey, it might be nice to release my feminine side some, so I gave in on the shoe rack and jewelry case even though they m her ideas.
We argued about price. I wanted to just hit garage sales and pick cheap pieces up here and there, and she went on about the things in my life representing me and these pieces will go with me when I decide to move out whether it be before or after college, if I decide to go. She truly means me to have these pieces for a long period of time. Everything in my room but the paint on the walls will leave with me when I move out. I still felt guilty, but it turns out that Fiona doesn’t understand what the word ‘no’ means, so we do things her way.
The furniture will be delivered in three days, which means we have time to paint my room and let it dry, during which I will sleep on the couch. I am not thrilled about that but it is worth it to have my new personal space.
I will get a new mattress tomorrow. And sheets, comforter, pillows, and any other bedding Fiona decided I need. Of all the adoptive parents I could get she is on the top of the list for awesome. I hope Clarissa is fairing as well.
"Fiona, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but is there any way my sister and I could get cell phones so we could text and talk more? I'm grateful she's so close but when one or both of us are busy…"
"Of course. This weekend, when we go shopping, I am planning to ask Helen which carrier she prefers to use for the two of you. I'm not sure she already has a cell and we do so I want to make sure we can get you two on the same carrier."
"Thanks."
"We want you to be happy here."
"You do. I don’t think Fergus likes me."
She bites her bottom lip and sighs. She wants to deny it, motherly instinct I guess, but sometimes lies are worse than the truth. She seems to value honesty. She has been honest and answered all my questions up to this point. Tough call I am forcing her to make.
"He is worried about the effect you will have on Alastair."
"I will make him weak. Like me."
She gives a glare into the rearview mirror. Lucky for him he is not here. I wouldn’t mess with that face. I bet Alastair gets that from his mother. He looks more like his father overall, strong, hard features and the same ebony hair, while his mother has sharp angular features that look almost delicate and strong all at once.
"You are anything but weak. You have survived worse hells than most people. Don’t let him make you think what you’ve been through isn't important… it is. He likes warriors. You are a healer, one unlike any we have ever seen. He likes tradition and consistency and hates change. He will get over it."
"I'm sorry if adopting me causes problems."
"The opposite. Alastair has never had much in the way of friends. In fact, he's never had even one. I've never seen him so in touch with others. It's refreshing to me. I thought we had destroyed all hope of him ever being able to connect to others. You saved him where we couldn’t and I think that bothers Fergus more than anything."
I nod, looking out the side window. What can I really say to that? I am not doing anything really, just being Alastair's friend. Apparently that alone makes Fiona happy. She will be an easy mother to please. It will be refreshing since my mother has never been easy to please, nor made any effort to recognize anything I did to please her. Here I am not even trying and Fiona is impressed. The next few years hold hope and promise. For the first time in a very long time.
When we get home the guys are done the painting. I am not allowed to see until a day or so when it is dry, likely in case it dries all drippy, so they can do it over with a claim that it needs a second coat. Men. Like we won’t know the truth. Still, I don’t nitpick, I just smile and nods. Much like the penguins on Madagascar. 'Smile and wave boys… smile and wave.' I love those penguins; let's face it, they are the best characters.
The next day we get everything we hadn't the day before. I am so happy to see Clarissa and see that she also is getting the royal treatment. Except her bedroom set is being made from scratch by a woodworker living next door. He has drawn out a design with her help and is carving it by hand. How freaking cool! We also get cell phones and new clothing for summer. Fiona promises winter clothing when winter comes, but she is hoping to put meat on my bones before then. I am all for three meals a day.
Alastair and I finish our project and I show him the wonders of cable. He isn’t really the sit-still type, so Fiona and I double-team him and make him watch something. We let him choose and get stuck watching a survival show. Figures. Alastair never does anything impractical. After, he feels so lazy he goes to work out. I, of course, stalk him.
"Where are you going?"
We went out the back door and through the yard, toward the tree line.
"To my personal space."
"Can I see?"
"It’s a dojo. You wouldn’t be interested."
"I am."
He sighs and I smile and keep pace with him. He gives me a look somewhere between a glare and curiosity. I don’t think he really understands why I am his friend. For some reason, that makes it more fun.
"What do you do here? Is it just yours or for the whole family? Can I…"
"I train here and it’s mine only. We all have our own spaces here in the woods. Mother has a serenity garden, father a dojo like me. They swap spaces occasionally, or train together in his and meditate in hers, but this one's mine only."
I stop walking, looking at the space. It is bigger than the three car garage. Still, on the outside, it looks simple, sturdy, and practical. All Alastair.
"You can come in if you really want to see what it looks like."
I nod and follow him inside.
Alastair:
Amber looks around, not bothering to keep the curiosity from her face.
"It looks bigger on the inside than the outside."
"It is. A dimensional witch spelled it. It's as big as I need it for whatever training I am doing, but doesn't take up m
ore space outside."
"Cool."
She walks along the walls, reaching out but not touching anything. A good choice since two walls are covered with weapons and they are all sharpened. Another wall has dummies for aiming and bags for punching so I can pick my size depending on how I feel. The fourth wall is half covered with armor. My family has scores of it. Clan armor, family armor, the armor of the enforcers. I hang it here to remind myself what I have to live up to. I use it to push myself. The rest of the wall has mats against it. If sparring with another, I use them if they wish for them, usually they are kept against the wall because my father and mother don’t want or need mats.
"So neat and organized. I would expect nothing less from you, Alastair."
I am not sure if that is a compliment or not. It doesn’t sound insulting but she doesn’t sound like it is something to be proud of either. I am proud of it. My life is always chaotic or it had been for so long, the least I can do is keep everything else in its place.
"So your parents had this place made just for you. Who do you spar with?"
"My parents."
"Are you any good?"
"I defeated a pack of werewolves and got only a single bite."
She smiles and shrugs. It doesn’t mean as much to her as it will others.
"Do you think I should learn some self-defense? In case Adam or someone else tries to hurt me again?"
"It wouldn’t matter, no matter how much you knew you couldn’t beat any of them in a fight."
How long will she stay here? I want to work out. She nods and sighs.
"Well, enjoy your training Alastair. I'll be inside."
With that, she leaves, shutting the door quickly and quietly and hurrying through the woods alone.
Amber:
Alastair is essentially right. I am an idiot thinking I can live in this world without becoming a victim. Thing is, I have been a victim before and I am not a fan.
"Where's Alastair?"
"At his dojo."
I sit next to Fiona on the couch and smile. I don’t feel like smiling. I just want to cry. It has really hit home how alone I essentially am here. Clari is getting homeschooled so she won’t have any issues, but I am still the mercenary human in everyone's eyes.
"We should have one made for you."
"I don’t know any martial arts or anything."
"You don’t have to have a dojo, dear. Mine’s a garden with a small waterfall. It was the hardest to make. An outdoor setting inside a garage-sized building. The witch we hire is amazing..."
"You shouldn’t waste all that money on me. Fergus doesn’t want me here; it would take a blind, deaf person to not notice. Alastair finds me annoying and just wants me to leave him alone. You seem to be the only one wanting me here and let's face it, after your family giving you a lot of crap for long enough you'll cave and I will have to find somewhere else to live."
She stares at me, silent and piercing.
"Is that what you really think is going to happen?"
I look away so she won’t notice the tears. I nod.
"It won't. Fergus will come around and Alastair does want you here, he just doesn’t know how to deal with you. He's used to people who can spar and fight with him, help him to become a warrior."
"I'm useless in your world. I know."
I don’t wait for a response, I just run. Right out the door and down the street. I don’t look to see if I am followed. I just need to see my sister. I could have called her, but I really need to see that she is fitting in, that she loves her new life. I need a reason for doing this, for putting us both in these lives. I don’t want her to be a punching bag, not like me.
Alastair:
Mom is sitting on the couch holding a glass of blood when I come in. She is swirling it like a glass of wine but she doesn’t drink.
"Mom."
She looks up at me her face haunted and eyes wet.
"What's wrong?"
"I want to help her but I think we are just making it worse."
"Amber?"
She nods, wiping the tears that escape her.
"Why do you say that? She has more than she had before."
"Yes, we bought her almost everything money can buy. But it can't buy certain things. Like family and love. We aren't right for her. She's only ever had a little sister she has to care for and we took that away. We aren't even a family without her, how can we be one for her?"
I sit and sigh. "We already adopted her…"
"She doesn’t think we are going to keep her. Your father ignores her or yells. You ignore her as much as possible. I work so much…"
"We aren't used to having her around. She will get used to our way of life and..."
Mother is always calm so the glass shattering against the wall is shock enough to break off my speech.
"She shouldn’t have to get used to anything! We should love and support her! That's what families do but we can't even do it for one another, let alone a girl who is broken, battered, and bruised beyond all comprehension! She's been through hell, so we bring her here and treat her like a piece of furniture! It's not fair… it's not right! She should be somewhere that can welcome her with open arms and isn't divided the way we are! She needs caring for, not placing!"
"We are doing our best."
She sits down and shakes her head.
"It's not enough. It's not even that we are vampires. She took that all in stride. It's that we are broken as well. We aren't a real family, we have never been. We can't care for someone that's never been cared for or loved. She's hurting so much and we can't do anything but argue about whether she belongs here or not. She deserves to be where she's wanted and knows it."
"You want her."
"Of course I do. When I heard what she had been through and you telling me how she had survived it all, kindness intact, I wanted to make it better, to help her."
"We are rather new at helping; we usually do the hurting part."
She smiles and nods. The smile lasts all of five seconds.
"Dad will get over it. If you go to your garden and cry he will feel bad and be nice."
She looks at me and I am sure she sees all the way through me. Can one hide anything from a mother? It seems they can see and know all of you just from being around you.
"Do you want her here? You're the one she knows, the one she's going to lean on the most and want to be around. You are the one at the center of it all. She's here because of you, Alastair, but if you can't step up you need to tell me now…"
I don’t want Amber to suffer anymore. I don’t think anyone deserves the suffering she has lived with. I have shown more kindness to enemies on the battlefield than she has been shown by her own family.
"She seemed interested in my dojo and learning self-defense."
"And I bet you threw it in her face that she would be useless, even with it."
"I didn’t say it like that."
Mother sighs. I hate that more than her yelling. Anger I can take. I can’t stand her disappointment and that's the only time she ever sighs.
"But she knows you well enough to know it's what you meant."
"I wasn’t saying she would be bad at it, though as skinny as she is I doubt she could even punch a bag. I just meant against a supernatural…"
"I know what you meant, Alastair, but she's scared and alone. Why couldn’t you have offered to train her instead?"
"Why?" It will be a waste of my time; she can never defend herself against what she needs to.
"It's not about protection, it's about control. Her entire life has been turned around and she's scared, alone, confused, and hurt. She wants to control something in her life. Learning self-defense will let her feel like she can take care of herself…"
"I get it."
"I offered to have her own space created when she mentioned yours, but she said she didn’t think she would be here long enough for it to matter. I would do it anyway but I have no idea what kind of space she would want."
I smile. That I can actually help with. "I do."
Amber:
Clari meets me outside and takes me to the barn where two horses are saddled.
"I can't ride."
"I chose a beginners horse for you. You need something to take your mind off everything. Learning to ride will help."
I am not sure about that, but I am choosing to trust her. I get up and she walks the horse around in circles while I get use to the feeling.
"Is Helen okay with this?"
"I asked her before you came. I think Fiona might have called her and mentioned you were likely heading over here."
I nod and listen to my little sister correcting my posture, how I handle the horse and everything under the sun. It is quite the role reversal. When she deems me competent enough we take some of the beginner trails.
"I thought you liked your new family."
"Fiona's nice, she's really trying."
"But…"
I don’t want to say. Clari is fitting in, it has only been a couple of days but she already looks happier and seems lighter. No more weight and worry dragging her down. I don’t want to destroy it.
"Fergus hates me because I am a weak human and Alastair ignores me. I think he figures he's done his part and that's that."
"I'm sorry, Amber. I expected them to be nice, they seemed to like you so much before…"
"It's not that they dislike me, they just don’t know what to do with me."
She sighs and we ride on in silence, both lost in thought for several hours. When we get back to the barn my sister has managed to cheer me up by saying that next time I can try a more spirited horse, or keep the docile one and try a harder trail. I vote for option two, which makes her laugh as she shows me her horse taking jumps… which basically gives me a heart attack. Now safely back at the barn, I am relieved, accepting that even if my life sucks I have made the right decision for her and that gives me a sense of peace I haven't had before.
"Amber isn't that…"
"Alastair," I finish before my sister can. "What are you doing here? When did you get here?"
Adopted Into the Supernatural Page 5
