by Ivy Kovacs
CONTENTS
Cover
Dedication
Chapter one
Chapter two
Chapter three
Chapter four
Chapter five
Chapter six
Chapter seven
Chapter eight
Chapter nine
Chapter ten
Chapter eleven
Chapter twelve
Chapter thirteen
Chapter fourteen
Chapter fifteen
Chapter sixteen
Chapter seventeen
Chapter eighteen
Chapter nineteen
Chapter twenty
Chapter twenty-one
Chapter twenty-two
Chapter twenty-three
Chapter twenty-four
Chapter twenty-five
Chapter twenty-six
Chapter twenty-seven
Chapter twenty-eight
Chapter twenty-nine
Chapter thirty
Chapter thirty-one
Chapter thirty-two
Chapter thirty-three
Chapter thirty-four
Chapter thirty-five
Chapter thirty-six
Chapter thirty-seven
Chapter thirty-eight
Chapter thirty-nine
Chapter forty
Chapter forty-one
Chapter forty-two
Chapter forty-three
Chapter forty-four
Chapter forty-five
Acknowledgements
Dedication
This book is dedicated to all the readers who have inspired me to create this story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it.
One
- Grace! – The sound of a sweet voice awakened me, interrupting my dreaming. The rays of the sun warmed up my pale skin. The sound of the waves and the sight of the ocean rippling over the white sand made me feel like I was home. She sat in an old chair and watched the setting sun. The sky was painted with vibrant colors of warmth. I watched her silently for a moment, but when I walked closer to touch her shoulder, she disappeared.
I exhaled as my eyes adjusted to the brightness filling my room. I forgot to close the curtains last night. I tended to forget things because of the anxiety I've been feeling for the last month. New school, new life, new me.
I tossed over to my other side and reached for my phone. It was 6.30 am on a late August day. The day when I start the last year of high school in a completely different town.
- Grace! You're going to be late on your first day! – The same voice alarmed me again and I finally sat up on my bed.
- I'm up, nana! – I yelled back and swallowed to ease the dryness of my throat. I walked over to the connected bathroom in my room and looked at myself in the mirror. After taking a deep breath, I brushed my teeth and curled my hair. I only bothered to put mascara and concealer on. For some reason, I never felt like being well dressed and overdoing my makeup was necessary on regular school days.
I walked downstairs and placed my bag on a chair. – Morning. – I gave a small peck on my grandma's cheek. She was putting cream cheese on my bagel.
– Good morning sweetheart. How did you sleep? – She asked while I poured coffee into my tumbler.
- Good I guess. I didn't have nightmares, that can be considered a success. – I sat down next to my bag and she placed the bagel in front of me with strawberries as a side dish. My favorite.
- I'm very happy to hear that. Your uncle should be here any minute to drive you. You're lucky your cousin goes to a primary school near yours. – Nana packed the lunch she prepared for me and I agreed.
- Thank you. You shouldn't have. –
She smiled at me and I returned her gesture. I haven't actually smiled in almost four months and that's a long time to not show emotions of delight. I've been forcing a fake smile for the past months to relieve my family's worry.
- Hi mom. Grace. – My godfather, Sebastian entered the house in his usual outfit: a button-up shirt and a tie. He worked as a manager for a local logistic company. He always loved organizing and being on time so the job seemed to be perfect for him.
- Grams! – A younger voice tinkled, and a second later a little blonde girl appeared from behind Seb. Lily, my little cousin and the daughter of Sebastian.
- Hi honey! – My grandma's face lit up as she hugged Lily tightly. I watched them while finishing my breakfast.
- Grace! You look pretty. – Lily smiled and gave me a quick hug. She didn't know how to act around me. Not since then. I returned her gesture and looked at the clock above the door. 7.10 am.
- Alright, have fun at school okay? Be careful and I love you! – Nana said and placed delicate kisses on our heads.
- We love you too, Nana. – I replied before I headed out. Uncle Seb parked right in front of the house. I sat into the passenger seat of his Jeep and buckled myself in.
- Can we listen to music on the way? – Lily asked from behind and I connected my phone to the car, to start a playlist. After Uncle Seb got in, we drove off waving goodbye to grandma.
Two
- Are you holding up? – Seb asked quietly after minutes of sitting in silence. He was never good at words but he was always sympathetic. I remembered seeing him cry when someone in the family had died. He didn't hide his emotions, yet he was extremely strong.
- I am. – I really was. I was working every day not to cry myself to sleep. I stopped reading tragedies and listening to depressive songs on Spotify. But it was harder than most people would think. It's been four months but I couldn’t let the past go.
He just nodded at my reply and stopped by my high school. – Thanks. I'll see you later. – I said before shutting the car door and turned around to face the massive building. Atlanta High.
It took some time to process where the entrance was but after I found it, I made my way forward. Students were running around, tossing balls to each other. Some were reading books sitting on benches or made out, leaning against the brick walls of the building.
Ugh, love. Such an overrated feeling. I believed that love exists and we are destined to be with someone who is a perfect match for us but that was rarely how it worked in my family.
I'd experienced the sorrow of love two times. Not on myself, but in my close surroundings. My grandpa used to be my favorite person. We would go fishing and swimming in lakes my grandmother never let me swim in. After a tiring day, I sat on his lap as he read my favorite tale to me. The little red riding hood. It seemed like it never happened but in reality, it did. That was how my life looked like twelve years ago. He exited my life within a blink, shattering my grandma's heart in pieces. She's been alone since then. Well, she was until I moved in.
A similar thing happened for my parents, but to make it short: my father cheated, drank, was aggressive, and left my mom when I was three. I didn't remember him at all. There were pictures of us from when I was a toddler, but I told my grandmother to put them somewhere I couldn't find them. I didn't want to recognize his face on the street.
He didn't just break my mom's heart, he broke grandma's too. He never cared to call or visit her. He didn't care about his own mother, not to mention Seb, his brother, and me: the mistake he made and was so excited about, yet gave up on so easily.
I entered the school and I could already hear the annoying sound of the chattering school hall. I definitely did not miss this. I looked at the instructions I'd written in my notebook and searched for my classroom. I wandered around the hall and when I found it, I walked inside expecting it to be full of students, but only one guy was sitting in the first row of seats.
- Uh, hi. Is this where the senior Biology is supposed to be? – I asked politely and checked my notebook to see if I got the class
number right.
- Yes. You're early. – He replied. He had brown eyes and dark skin.
- It's 7.50. The class starts at 8. Am I right? – I asked again. I felt like an idiot for questioning him so much, but I was surprised to find this classroom by myself.
- You are, it does. Seniors don't care about their classes. Well, at least this class doesn't. Me on the other hand, I’ve been here since seven to re-read the first topic. – Great, I had a class that is full of non-interested teenagers. Surely they had tattoos and wore clothes that barely covered their lady parts.
- Do you mind? – I pointed at the seat next to him and he shook his head, so I sat down. – What are you studying for? – I packed out my books while waiting for his answer.
- I want to become a vet. I love animals and I love helping them. I have four dogs and they are all from shelters. – He looked over at me and watched me taking a sip from my tumbler. – And you? –
- That's cool. I don't really know. I like art but that doesn't pay bills so I don't know yet. I have time until December to decide. – I answered and he nodded. He started to say something but some students interrupted us as they walked inside. 8.02 am. I guess these people didn't have watches. They gave me weird glares. I didn't judge them, though. I invaded their comfortable group by attending this school. Guess I should've been prepared.
Three
- Good morning class. – The teacher entered which shook me back to reality. My mind sometimes wondered and I couldn't help it. – All the same, but in good shape I see. – He joked humorlessly, pointing out the fact that only five of us were sitting in the room when there were plenty more seats to fill. I looked at the black-haired girl who was sitting in the back: her legs were on the table and she was fidgeting with a pen.
There were two other guys sitting beside her. Both tall, one of them was blonde and the other was brown-haired. They didn't look like hooligans to me, but the girl did. She wore black combat boots and fishnet stockings with black shorts and an AC/DC T-shirt tucked into it. The sound of the door opening made me turn my head towards the sound.
- Good Morning. – The teacher said as a bunch of students walked in. They all looked at me like they haven't seen a human before, then finally took their seats. – Alright. Now, where is Grace Smith? – I heard my name and I looked up from my notebook. – There you are. I should've seen you when I entered. Welcome to Atlanta High. My name is Professor Walkins and I'll be teaching you Biology and History. – His smile eased my nerves and I gave him a soft smile with a nod. The last thing I'd need is a mean teacher. I was glad he wasn't one. – If you have any questions at any time please feel free to ask. – I thanked him gratefully and looked down at my book. I could feel the staring eyes on me, but I tried not to think about it or else I'd probably have a panic attack.
Professor Walkins began his class as we wrote Botany as the title of the subject. - Dylan. Looks like you've gotten up early today. – The teacher said sarcastically and I glanced at the guy entering. He was wearing black ripped jeans and a white V-neck with Vans shoes. His curly hair fell over his forehead but it wasn’t bothering him. After he turned, he looked at me straight in the eye and I couldn't help but stare back. He had blue eyes with a tiny hint of green. I knew because I had my glasses on. Without them I wouldn't have even noticed that someone walked in.
I felt uncomfortable by his stare so I looked down, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. I looked up to the side and that quick peek allowed me to see that he was sitting in the third row, near the windows. He probably saw me looking at him because he grinned.
-Alright. Your project work is due on the 10th of September. You can pair up. I'll see you on Wednesday. – The professor walked out and I closed my book, looking over at the guy sitting next to me. We talked and I forgot to ask his name.
- Wanna team up? It seems like you're the only one who actually studies in this class. – I joked and he chuckled.
-I'd love to. I'm Dom. It's nice to meet you, Grace. – For a split second I was confused about how he’d known my name, but then I realized that the teacher introduced me.
- It's nice to meet you too. – I gave him a friendly smile. Did I make a friend already? This seemed too easy. I stood up and grabbed my stuff before heading out.
- Do you know where your locker is? – Dom followed me through the hallway and I shook my head. – What's your number? – The thought crossed my mind that he asked for my phone number but I quickly realized that he meant my locker number. I showed him the small paper with the number 312. – Oh it's near mine, what a coincidence. – He smiled and led me to the lockers. His was across mine, as he claimed.
Four
I opened it with the given code and changed it to something I could easily remember. It smelled like weed, although I've never smelled or smoked weed before. I'll have to get some scented candles and organizers for my books and notebooks. Maybe some pictures.
As I wondered about how I’d make the locker more personalized, someone stepped next to me behind the locker door so when I shut it, I jumped. – I'm sorry. – I apologized before I looked up to see who it was. It was the guy who stared at me during Biology. Well, half of Biology because he arrived halfway through the class.
- You're jumpy. – He said with a straight face. I felt like he was staring into my soul.
- No, I just...didn't see you coming here. – I replied and swallowed the lump that was in my throat. Why was I nervous? Maybe I just felt uneasy by his constant stare.
He shrugged and walked past me. Well, that was odd.
The rest of the day went by faster than expected. I met Miss Linkin who was teaching Spanish, Mr. Westfield who taught Chemistry and English, and the gym teacher, Mr. Holt. I was glad I only had a few lessons per day. It’d be exhausting to have more and do extracurricular activities as well.
After the last lesson, Dom and I went to the cafeteria to eat lunch. I offered him one of my sandwiches since he only had fruits and nuts but he kindly rejected it and explained that he was vegan. I should've guessed.
We talked about the Biology project and where we'd do it. He suggested that we either go to his place or meet up in the library. I thanked him for his help and we exchanged numbers, but then he left because his girlfriend finished early with her errands and she waited for him outside.
I finished my lunch alone and filled my bottle with water from the tap. When I turned around I bumped into someone and the water spilled over my shirt. I hadn’t put the lid on yet.
- Ugh. – I growled and eventually noticed the person who I'd bumped into. It was Dylan again. That was how the teacher called him.
- Twice in a day, huh? You should check it. – He said, his voice was low but his words irritated me.
-You're the one who should check it! You're coming behind me all day. – I snapped and rolled my eyes.
- I meant your top. It's white and you spilled water over your chest. I can see your bra through. –
I looked down on myself after he pointed at my chest and I quickly pulled my books to cover myself.
My face was probably as red as a lobster. It was only my first day and I already made a scene unnecessarily.
- I... I'm sorry. –I was such an idiot! I didn't come here to make friends: I just wanted to finish high school so I could go to university. Obviously, I had to screw up on the first day. Classic Grace.
The tall handsome boy shrugged and walked off. I wished I could disappear. I could feel everyone's eyes on me in this stupid canteen.
I still had cheer try-outs. I didn't want to do it, I simply had to. It would look good on my application.
After I changed into my leggings and a loose shirt over my sports bra, I followed the group of girls wearing a cheer uniform. Since it was the end of August they were practicing outside. It was better to work out in nature than in the smelly gym.
While I was stretching, I watched the girls who began the practice. There was a wavy-haired girl standing in front of the
other girls showing them what to do. If I had to guess, she was probably the captain. When she turned around I saw a logo on her back. HBIC. I shuddered from thinking that I have to talk to her. I didn't want this day to go any worse than it already did. I stood up and tightened my ponytail while walking towards the girl in charge. – Hi. I'm new here and I would like to try-out. – Smooth Grace. Very smooth.
The girl looked at me up and down. My gut was telling me to run away before she could make me cry but my body felt numb. – Alright. What do you want to dance for? – Did I hear that right? She agreed and even gave me a smile. Huh. Weird.
- Uh, Stupid Love by Lady Gaga? – I remembered a short choreography I've learned to that song earlier this year, when I lived back home. The captain nodded and talked to a guy who was sitting on one of the bleachers with a laptop in his lap. He looked kind of nerdy but I’m not one to judge by appearance. I turned around and waited for the music to start. When I heard the first beat I turned back forward by doing a back flip and landed on my feet, facing the girls who were sitting silently and watching my performance. I danced until the first chorus ended, giving it all I've got. I could feel a slight pain in my lower abdomen when I finished by doing splits. The song went mute and everyone was staring at me as I stood on my feet and dusted off my leggings.
- Alright boys, the show is over, get back on the field! – I heard a low male voice yell. Great. I just noticed that the entire football team witnessed my performance.
- That was... – The cheer captain begun.
- Amazing. – The nerdy sound guy added and everyone started to laugh. I have no clue what was happening. Did I make it to the team or are they just making fun of me? I felt my stomach flutter, it made the small pain fade.
- No. It was better than amazing. You've got moves girl! – She said looking with awe in her eyes. I smiled at her words. – Were you dancing at your old school? – She asked walking closer to me and I noticed the girls behind her starting to whisper around. I hate teenage girls.
- Uh, yeah. Not at school but I was a dancer. I've been dancing since I was six. – I tried not to look behind the tan girl but I knew the cheerleaders were talking about me.
