Lion Hearts Tiger

by V. Vaughn

  “You actually turned into a tiger.”

  I nod as relief fills me that she’s trying to accept the truth. “Yes, and you can turn into a lion.”

  She looks at me with wild panic in her eyes.

  I reach over and grab her shaking hand. “I can imagine this must be upsetting, but baby, I’m telling you, you’re a lion. A beautiful, fierce lion.”

  I want to show her how to shift. I want to tell her that I know she’ll feel so much better in her lion form and that maybe there’s a chance if she shifts all her memories will come flooding back. But I don’t want to scare her.

  But she has to shift soon. I know it in my bones. “You need to learn to shift, Lexi. There is a chance you might do it spontaneously, and that would be way worse. It would be a lot more frightening because you won’t be prepared.”

  She shakes her head.

  I squeeze her fingers a little tighter. It’s so hard to see this timid version of the fierce lioness I know. I want to do anything I can to help her discover that side too. “I will help you. I will be there every step of the way.” I tilt her chin up with a finger so I can look deep into her eyes. “It might be the answer to your memory problem. And you’ll definitely feel much better about the odd things you’ve been doing if you become one with your lion again.”

  Her cheeks flush again, and she pulls back to drop her gaze. “You noticed?”

  “Yes. I know they may seem weird to you, but they’re normal to me. They’re behaviors I’ve seen you do before. It’s your lion communicating with my tiger. They’re mated. We’re mated.”

  “I can’t believe that I’m… that I’m some animal.” Her brow furrows as she chews on her bottom lip, and there are tears in her eyes when she asks, “Wouldn’t I know?”

  I want to tell her that deep down she does know, her body does anyway. That’s why she’s been purring and bunching up the blanket before she gets settled to sleep at night.

  “I know I keep saying this, but you have to trust me. I can help you through it.”

  She looks at me for a long moment and then finally shrugs with resignation. “Why not? I’ll try to shift. But I don’t think it’s going to work.”

  My chest tightens because I’ve really gone out on a limb here, and Lexi still isn’t sure she’s a shifter. If I can’t help her shift into a lion, she’s never going to trust anything else I say. And without trust… I could lose her. Forever.

  Chapter 15

  LEXI

  I let Tristan lead me out onto the driveway. He instructs me to crouch down on all fours. I hesitate for a moment, feeling like a complete fool. But he gets down there with me, so I do it.

  “Okay,” he says as he gazes into my eyes, “you need to control your breathing. In and out slowly.”

  I take in a deep breath, then let it out. In again, and out. I feel like I’m about ready to do Pilates. I wonder if I’ve missed my Pilates classes in the last week or so. But that’s not important right now. Instead I need to focus on resisting the urge to get up and walk away from this as I search for the camera that must be filming me getting pranked.

  Tristan watches me breathe and gives me an encouraging smile. “That’s it. Now, I want you to concentrate on something in front of you with your eyes, and then let your mind go. Let it relax, let it wander.”

  Let my mind relax. How the hell am I supposed to do that considering I’m on all fours breathing like I’m about to give birth? But I do what he asks. I focus on the back tire of the SUV, seeing only that, spotting the tiny stones between the treads. I try to relax my body and my mind, but it’s difficult when my knees and hands are in pain from gravel digging into my skin. I am also acutely aware of Tristan next to me. He has a certain odor that tickles my senses, and it’s tickling other parts of my body, too. The recent vision of him naked fills my mind.

  I glance at him, paying particular attention to his mouth. His lips are full, his mouth wide, and I wonder how those lips would feel on mine. Probably like heaven. I’ve fantasized about what he would taste like and about the other places that mouth of his could go… My skin heats up.

  “Keep looking forward, Lexi. You’re getting distracted.” He says it firmly, but I can see that he has an idea what I’m thinking, and it pleases him.

  I put my attention back onto the tire and breathe, trying to clear my mind of him.

  “Think about your lion. Reach deep down inside the primal part of you and pull her up to the surface.”

  I imagine what a lion looks like, A big, lean muscular body, gold eyes, and pale-blond fur. Then I picture that as me. Inside my head, I try to find that animal part of me. I believe it’s there as I think about my purring and kneading. I see my fingers as claws the way I did in the hospital. Oh god, what if I really am a lion? How the hell am I supposed to control her? Tristan said his tiger would chase me if I ran, and he’s bound to have amazing control. I don’t even know—I stop my train of thought and try again to focus.

  I really do try to dig deeper, but I can’t feel anything else. And when nothing happens, I shake my head and sit back on my haunches. I brush the gravel from the palms of my hands. “I can’t. It’s not working.”

  He touches my shoulder and squeezes. “You need to relax. You’re really tense. I can see how afraid you are. Your lion senses that. She won’t come out if you are scared to let her.”

  I sigh. “I feel like an idiot doing this.”

  He moves in behind me and rubs my shoulders. I know he’s trying to make me feel better. I let out another sigh of contentment because Tristan really does love me. The lengths he’s going to in order to help me are impressive. “Oh god,” I moan softly. “That feels good.”

  Tristan keeps massaging my shoulders and neck, and I finally relax. His touch is so familiar. I sink into the pleasure of it. Maybe I’m remembering him. Or maybe I just want to. Either way, I lean back into his hands and let him work his magic.

  When he’s done, I feel ten times better. And I can’t help the small smile on my face.

  “Okay, try again,” he says.

  After moving to the grass to lesson my pain this time, I flop back onto my hands. I realize Tristan keeps trying because he believes in me. I need to believe in him, and that means I am a lion. I stare forward at the tire on the vehicle and let my mind go. I take in a deep breath and let it out. I do it again and search inside for my most primal urges.

  I arch my back and let my chest rumble with a purr. I imagine running on all fours and… My body explodes in a series of flashing pain that is bearable, familiar. Yellow fur pierces the pores of my skin and sprouts all over the back of my hands and up my arms. I turn my hand to see paw pads forming and my nails extending into long hooked claws. The rest happens so fast I can’t even comprehend it. But suddenly, I’m a lion.

  I twist my head side to side, and my ears flop a little as a symphony of sounds fills them. Birds twitter, chipmunks chortle, and other rodents rustle leaves as they scurry away in fear. They must sense my presence. It’s an intoxicating feeling of power. I command the forest. The very place where I was afraid of predators is now afraid of me. I wiggle to shake out my fur in what feels like an involuntary shiver. All the way from my broad nose to the tip of my tail.

  A tail! I twist my body so I can see it. Then I swish it back and forth. Holy crap! This is cool and probably not the least bit becoming of a fierce lion. I snort out air through my nostrils as I laugh at myself.

  Then I lift my head and breathe deeply. A delicious mix of aromas floods my senses. All the odors I couldn’t seem to wash off me before are now attractive. So attractive I want to bask in them. Dirt, dank water, rotting leaves, pine needles and sap. I want to roll around in it all and carry the delectable cocktail around with me.

  Something metallic, coppery almost, catches my attention. Blood. Hot, pulsing, iron-rich blood. Good god, my whole body vibrates with excitement. Desire.

  I turn toward the source and see Tristan watching me. His hands are thrust out towa
rd me as he takes slow, measured steps backward.

  “Easy now, Lexi. Easy.”

  I move toward him, slowly so as not to scare him off. I’m hungry and the blood pumping through his veins makes me think he’d taste like the juiciest filet mignon I’ve ever had. Raw meat. I let out my version of a moan, which is a low growl. Licking my lips, I stalk toward him, and he backs up.

  My human side is a tiny voice warning me to stop, but my lion… My precious, lovely, beautiful lion, who is so happy to be out, is all about having some human sushi. It’s been so damn long. Saliva pools in my mouth as I think about tearing flesh from a bone.

  No! cries out my human side. I know he’s my lover, my mate. I shake my head, trying to get rid of that damn voice of reason wanting to keep me from a delicious meal.

  Tristan keeps talking, but I don’t listen. I cock my head at him as my two sides war with each other instead, and it hits me that I feel amazing. Better than I could have ever imagined. I don’t need any memories to be what I am right now, and I wonder why I ever fought this. I want to run, I want to roar, I want to hunt my prey. And I want to kill.

  Chapter 16

  TRISTAN

  Oh shit. I’m in trouble.

  Lexi’s looking at me like I’m lunch. I should’ve set out some raw steak ahead of time, knowing she would be hungry with the bloodlust raging through her. I should’ve known she wouldn’t be able to handle it the first time out.

  “Lexi, try and get control.”

  Her lion lifts her head and takes a long, deep inhale. I know she’s scenting me, but she keeps cocking her head like she’s confused. The hot blood that’s rushing through my veins is making her bloodlust rise. It’s been over a week since she shifted last.

  I take another step back toward the cabin with my hand held out toward her. “Take control. You can do it. Remember who I am. Remember who you are.”

  She stalks forward. She’s only a few feet away from me. One leap and she’ll be on me and there will be nothing I can do except fight back. As a tiger, I’d likely hurt her, but I really don’t want her to eviscerate me as a human, either. I kind of like my insides on the inside. “Lexi, try and shift back to human.”

  She’s not listening. Nothing is getting through. Her lion is too strong and can only think of one thing—food. I clap in front of her face, hoping to startle her out of the bloodlust, but it has no effect. Maybe I should just dart inside the cabin and save myself from being eaten. But I don’t want to leave her alone like this. Without a guide, she’ll likely bound into the woods to find something to satisfy her hunger, and then she might not ever come back. She has no memories of how to shift back to human, and I refuse to abandon her.

  “Lexi, remember your human form. Think about turning back.”

  It’s too late. She leaps forward. I jump to the side, narrowly avoiding her pounce. The brush of her big paw sends waves of air over my face. The edge of her claw nicks my face, though, and she crashes into the front porch, breaking the wood railing. She shakes her big head, dazed. I take a risk and place my hand on her furry head, pressing hard so she’ll feel my touch. “Focus with everything you have on shifting back to human. Picture your human form in your mind. Concentrate on her.”

  She huffs and drops her nose as she squints. She’s trying. I hold my breath and wait. Then it happens, and everything animal about her recedes back into her body until she’s lying on her side, shaking and crying.

  She gazes up at me with fear swirling in her eyes. “I… I almost ate you,” she stammers, tears streaking her cheeks. “Oh god.” She sits up and rakes her hands through her hair. “I don’t want to be a lion. I don’t want to be—I can’t be—this.”

  I crouch next to her and gather her into my arms. My darling, sweet Lexi. My heart aches as I want to take away her pain. I pull her onto my lap and hold her tight. “I know you’re scared, but you did it, Lexi. You shifted.”

  She lifts her head away to look at me. “I almost ate you. I really wanted to, Tristan.”

  “I know, but I wouldn’t have let it happen. I’d have shifted before I let you eat me.”

  “Really?”

  “Really.” I don’t tell her she wouldn’t have liked it or that we’d have had an epic battle that would have left both of us injured. Instead, I say, “It will get easier now. You’ll learn how to control your lion again. I promise.” I run a hand over her hair and make soothing noises to calm her.

  She wraps her arms around me and nuzzles her face against my shoulder. This is the first time I’ve been able to hold her since losing her in the accident, and I don’t ever want to let go. It’s been a long ten days without being able to touch her like this, and I realize how starved I’ve been for affection.

  I press my lips to her hair, breathing her in, reveling in her unique musky aroma that’s like coming home. I move to kiss her cheek, and then, oh god, then I’ve captured her mouth with mine, and I’m kissing her. Finally.

  Chapter 17

  LEXI

  I melt into Tristan’s kiss. I know I’m purring, and I let it happen without a care. All I can think about is Tristan and how his lips nip at me with a hunger that has nothing to do with eating. My heart pounds against my chest as if it’s trying to escape, and my body is on fire for him. I can’t quite catch my breath, because Tristan’s taken it with his extraordinary kiss.

  I nuzzle in closer to his body, feeling like I belong in his arms. I’m naked from shifting and should feel vulnerable, exposed. But I don’t feel that way at all. As long as he’s holding me, I know I’m safe. Nothing else seems to matter but him.

  Tristan’s hand cups my face, his knuckle nuzzling me under the chin, and I lean into him, rubbing my cheek against his hand. It’s something he did to me in the hospital, and I recall how it calmed me. Now, I know it’s a sign of his affection for me, his love. The thought makes my heart swell, and I wrap my hand in his hair and reach up to kiss him.

  I don’t want to stop. I want to kiss every inch of him, and I think I know just how he wants me too. It’s like I’ve been doing this forever. Eventually he pulls away, and I feel the loss of his warm lips on mine.

  “I’ve missed you so damn much, Lexi.” He rests his forehead against mine.

  “I know,” I say regretfully, “and I’m sorry I can’t remember you.” I giggle. “Because damn… that kiss.”

  He chuckles. “It’s always been that good for us.”

  Sadness fills me with a heaviness I can’t brush off. “We had a great life together, didn’t we?”

  “We did. We do.” He brushes my hair from my cheek with a gentle touch of his fingers. “We’re mates, Lexi. We can have what we had again.”

  “I—” How do I tell him I’m not sure? And what if I never remember who we used to be? “I really wish I could remember.” I untangle myself from him and stand. He stands as well, his hands fidgeting at his sides as if he wants to keep touching me. But I’m not quite ready for that yet. I wish I was. My body’s ready; it aches for him, but my mind is hesitant. There’s so much I need to work out, things I need to learn about him, about myself, before I can go further.

  I say, “I think I need to be alone for a while, to really try to wrap my mind around what just happened and how I’m feeling about it.”

  He nods. “Yes. I understand.”

  “And,” my cheeks heat up as I resist the urge to cover my private parts with my hands, “I feel a little strange standing outside completely naked.”

  Tristan’s lips twitch up into a grin. “Want me to get naked too?”

  “You’re definitely naughty.”

  “Guilty.” He shrugs, and I can’t help but smile back before I walk into the cabin. I make my way to the room I sleep in, and Tristan says, “Take all the time you need, Lexi. And I’m here for you in any way you need.”

  I turn at the door and take a moment to look at him. “You really are incredible. Do you know that?”

  “I feel the same way about you.”

&nb
sp; The warmth of his love fills me before I shut the door, and I feel little regret, too, because he’s doing so much for me and I do next to nothing for him. I can’t help but wonder how much more of this situation Tristan can take.

  A worn sweatshirt with frayed cuffs is feather light and soft on my body when I tug it on, and I imagine that’s why I keep it. After I pull on pants, I sit on the bed and lift my knees up to wrap my arms around them. When I let out a heavy sigh, it’s like a damn has broken and everything crashes down on me at once.

  I’m a lion. I shake my head, trying to fathom how I was a jungle cat minutes ago. And that’s only part of what’s weighing on me. I can’t remember who I am or my life with Tristan. I press my fingers to my lips. They still tingle from Tristan’s kiss. So does my body. I’m humming with euphoric feelings like I’m falling in love for the first time. Being with him is fresh and exciting, yet odd, uncomfortable, and unnerving at the same time.

  I rub a hand over my legs and flash to how strong they were when I was a lion. I know it just happened, and the sensations of being a predatory animal are still very real in my mind. But I’m still trying to come to terms with that event in my head. It seems so impossible.

  But I know it is very real, because the fact that I just about tore Tristan apart to eat him… A shudder runs through me as I imagine the horror if I had. It makes me never want to shift again if that’s what it’s going to be like. My body did things I had no control over. And when I was the lion, I had no control over being an animal either. She was so overpowering and dominant that I didn’t stand a chance. I don’t want to kill anyone, especially not a man I really like and am starting to love.

  Tears burn in my eyes. Tristan says he can help me control my lion, but what if he’s wrong? It’s not like I can stop shifting. I recall the glorious feelings that rushed through me like endorphins when I shifted. My lion was so relieved to be free. It was like releasing her from a cage she’d been locked up in for far too long. I can’t deny her that any more than I can deny myself air to breathe.