Alone

by Jennifer Reynolds

  “Survivors? You’re talking about this thing as if it is over. Is it over?” Eve turned to look him full in the face to see how serious he was.

  “You don’t think it is?” he asked.

  “No, I don’t think it is. I don’t think it will be over until we’re all dead.”

  He nodded in agreement, but said nothing.

  She walked out of the room with Caleb in her arms to carry out their garbage, and put the dishes in the sink.

  “Well, the military officers that are still in town seem to believe that it is winding down, at least. I’m not sure what to believe,” Kyle told her when she came back into the room.

  “How many survivors have you found?”

  “We have about thirty people working with us right now. That includes the military officers that are running the show. Plus, some of us still have family members alive. So I would guess forty, fifty maybe a little more.”

  “I’m going for a smoke if anyone would like to join me,” Ty announced, getting up and heading toward the front porch.

  “Thank you,” Eve said.

  “For what?” he asked her a bit confused.

  “For going outside. I realize that he might not live long enough for it to hurt him but…”

  He nodded. Ella and Andrea followed him outside. Kyle stayed in the house with Eve. The two could see the rest of his group through the large dining room window, talking.

  “What do you do when you find someone like me who has survived?” Eve asked after a long moment.

  “Honestly, you are the first person my group has found. So I’m not sure. I was told that if the person was able to work, we were to ask if they wanted to join us. But I guess in your case…” He looked away from her, shyly.

  “What do you mean, my case?” Eve asked though she thought she probably already knew what he meant.

  “He means Caleb. You can’t very well do what we do carrying around a baby,” Andrea elaborated, coming back into the house with Ty and Ella following.

  “But don’t worry, we have to report you both to the officers, so someone will be stopping by fairly regularly to check up on you,” Ty said in a voice that said that he really hoped they weren’t the ones to have to do it.

  The only person Ty seemed to care about taking care of was Ella, or so Andrea told her later. In his opinion, the rest of the world could take care of itself. Sadly, that was the growing consensus among the survivors.

  “Why can’t I carry him with me?” Eve asked, thinking of all kinds of things she could probably help them do. Mostly she didn’t want to be alone anymore, and because of this, she would be willing to do nearly anything to be with them.

  “Because it is too dangerous,” Kyle said, sounding a little too overprotective.

  “Not any more dangerous than staying here all day and night by myself. At least doing what you guys do, we will be able to be with other people on a regular basis, not stuck up here all alone.” What she really meant was that if she was with them and something happened to her Caleb would be taken care of. If she was at home, he might die before someone thought to check on them. Eve really didn’t think that she would be able to stand living in her house alone knowing that there were survivors out there. After her mother had died, she had convinced herself that she was alone and would stay that way until she died. Now that she knew there were people, she needed, no wanted desperately to be with them.

  “She kind of has a point,” Andrea chimed in.

  “What do you propose she could do besides hold us up? Look I don’t mean any disrespect, but I don’t think you should be doing what we do,” Ty told her, trying not to show his annoyance.

  “I think she should. Besides, there is plenty she can do,” Kyle said, sticking up for Eve and Andrea.

  “Like what?” Ty was beginning to get irritated.

  “Well, we all agree it isn’t healthy for her to carry Caleb inside the houses. But she can easily cover grounds and vehicles, and we can each take turns helping her, if no one has a problem with that,” Andrea offered.

  Kyle looked around at his group to see if anyone had any other suggestion. If they did, no one was saying.

  “Sounds like a plan to me. What do you think Ella?” Andrea asked.

  “Whatever guys. I’m game for anything,” Ella said uncaringly, startling Eve a little.

  Her voice was soft and mousy, a perfect replica of what she looked like. That was the first time she had heard the woman say anything. Eve had thought maybe she couldn’t speak or was in too much of a state of shock to speak.

  “All right, but Kyle, Andrea, you two are responsible for taking care of them. I don’t want any shifts with her. I’m sorry. I don’t want to be held responsible if something happens to either of you,” Ty said.

  Eve heard the apology in Ty’s voice, but it didn’t make his words any less painful.

  “That’s fair,” she said. And it was. After everything they had been through, she couldn’t fault him for feeling that way.

  “Kyle, isn’t there a form she has to fill out?” Andrea asked, sounding unsure if there really was such a form.

  “Oh yeah.” He grabbed his clipboard and leafed through some papers. “Here, fill these two forms out please.”

  The form was a simple one. All it really wanted to know was her name, address, shoe and clothes size, driver’s license number, social security number, date of birth, and age.

  “Why do they need to know my clothes size? Never mind. Dumb question. I know why. Do I really need to fill this out for him?”

  “Yes, if he is going to be coming with you,” Kyle answered before anyone else could.

  She really hadn’t needed to fill it out for the baby, but Kyle had had an idea, and he would need the information to pull it off. Luckily, no one else knew that she didn’t have to fill it out for Caleb, or they would have blown his plan.

  “Like there’s another choice,” Eve muttered.

  She filled out the forms for both of them and handed the papers back.

  “Well, with that settled, we should get back on the road,” Ty commented.

  “Is there anything else I need to do?” Eve asked.

  “No, just come to the courthouse about seven in the morning. Bring your driver’s licenses,” Kyle said, clipping the papers back onto the board.

  Eve followed them out, feeling somewhat sad about them leaving her alone.

  “Are you sure you are going to be all right here by yourself?” Kyle asked, pausing halfway down the sidewalk.

  “We’ve been by ourselves now for nearly three weeks. I think we will be all right for just one more night.”

  “Kyle and I will stop by after work to check up on you guys anyway. Will that be all right?” Andrea asked as she helped load their things into the van.

  “Sure, I’ll try to have dinner ready by around five-thirty or six if you think you will be hungry,” Eve said, following them down the walk toward the van.

  Andrea’s eyes lit up at the idea of a home cooked meal. “Yeah, that sounds great.”

  Just as they told her they would, Kyle and Andrea were knocking on Eve’s front door a little after five. Eve had been fluttering around the kitchen nervous they wouldn’t show. She had a meal of Mac and Cheese, green beans, corn, and pork chops waiting for them.

  “This is the best meal I have had in a long while,” Andrea said, inhaling half her plate in seconds once Eve had let them in and gotten everyone settled around the dining table.

  “Enjoy. The meat section at the grocery store is empty, and what you can find is bad. I have a small horde of frozen meat in a deep freeze in the basement, but it won’t last long.”

  After dinner, Andrea offered to stay the night. She didn’t live with anyone either, and didn’t relish the idea of going home to an empty apartment. Her argument was that there was no sense in them staying in separate homes all alone, not that Eve had needed an argument.

  Eve told her she didn’t mind. There was plenty of room in her
large, three-story home, so she didn’t see a reason to tell her no. Besides, in the short time she had been around the other woman, she knew she would like her company. Andrea seemed to always be peppy no matter what conversation they were having. Eve thought that the house needed a little joy in it.

  Eve offered Kyle a room as well, but he declined, stating that he and a few other guys were sharing an apartment over in Charleston, the next town over to the south. He didn’t want to leave them alone. One of the guys he had been best friends with since elementary school.

  V – First Day

  Andrea, Eve, and Caleb woke early the next morning. Eve couldn’t help it. She had hardly slept the night before. Having a strange person in her house was part of the reason for her sleeplessness, but the fact was, she was somewhat nervous to start working at the single most disturbing job she knew she would ever have. She kept having dreams of finding dead babies or dead family members–among other strange dreams.

  After breakfast, the three of them walked the six or so blocks to the courthouse. Eve had a car, and they could have driven it, but she and Andrea decided that a nice, quiet walk would do them some good. Also, Eve hadn’t been outside in nearly three weeks. She thought the fresh air would be refreshing. Besides what better way for Eve to really get an idea of what was going on in the neighborhood than to see it firsthand.

  So much had been shut down and shut off since the last time she had been out. Eve carried Caleb in a carrier that strapped to her front. Andrea carried the diaper bag which was full of things for the baby and lunch for all of them.

  There was an officer standing at the front door of the courthouse clasping a clipboard. He was the only person they had seen or heard in the entire time it took them to walk to the courthouse.

  On a normal day, they would have seen parents walking out to get the morning paper before waking grumpy kids for school. Then once they cleared the two blocks of residential houses and entered the downtown area, they would have seen lawyers and bankers driving their brand new Lexuses, trying to get to the office. But they saw no one. They didn’t hear even a hint of a vehicle in the distance. The day was eerily serene without the sound of birds welcoming the dawn, dogs barking at passersby, or the sounds of cats scratching to get in for their morning meal.

  At the courthouse, Andrea handed the officer her driver’s license and told Eve to do the same. The officer made a mark on his clipboard and handed Andrea’s information back to her before taking Eve’s.

  “Miss Hayes, the address on your license doesn’t match the one on the form you filled out yesterday,” he noted as if he were annoyed, not at Eve, but at having to mention the difference.

  “I know, but the one on the form is the address you can find me at. The one on my license is from before…”

  He nodded and wrote something on the board. Handing Eve her ID, he looked at Caleb. “Do you have any form of identification for him?”

  “Yeah. I have a few papers.” She handed him what few forms the hospital had given them when he was born.

  “Your last names don’t match. Is he yours?” This name difference peeked his curiosity, and he actually looked up at them with real interest.

  “No, he’s my sister’s. She died giving birth to him. Shortly after her death, things went to hell and custody never was transferred to…well anyone. I’m the only family he has left.”

  For the first time since his birth, Eve felt frightened. So much had happened in such a short period of time that they hadn’t had time to switch custody of him over to her. Gene had had it transferred to his mother-in-law, but Sadie hadn’t done the same for Eve. For a second she became fearful that the officer was going to try to take Caleb away from her.

  “We don’t have a daycare facility, you know that, right?”

  Relief flooded her. He wasn’t going to take him. The truth was written all over the man’s face, he was afraid that she was going to ask him to take responsibility for Caleb while she worked.

  “Yes, I know. He will be with me at all times,” she said, reassuring the guard.

  He looked at her a little unsure. However, they both knew he wasn’t going to argue. They had nowhere to put him if they took him. Better her, than them, was what she was sure he was thinking. Right then Caleb started to cry, and she saw the truth of her thoughts written all over his face.

  “It’s all right he’s just a little thirsty,” Eve reassured the man.

  He had had oatmeal for breakfast, so she knew he couldn’t be hungry, which meant he was either thirsty or wet.

  “Andrea, hand me the diaper bag, please.”

  Andrea held the bag open as they stood on the front steps of the courthouse, while Eve mixed a bottle of purified water and formula for him. Once she gave the bottle to him, he stopped crying and drank it happily.

  “See, that was all he needed.”

  “Here’s his paperwork, and sorry for the questions. We’re just trying to keep accurate records on those who’ve survived.” The lie came easily. He knew and they knew that they were just trying to keep up the pretense of normality.

  “Do you really think this thing is over?” Eve asked him, not expecting a truthful response.

  “If it’s not, it sure seems to be slowing up.” He was lying, and he knew that she knew he was, but they just smiled and nodded at each other anyway.

  “Come on, we had better head on inside,” Andrea urged, slightly pulling her arm in the direction of the building. Eve could tell she really didn’t want to have this conversation.

  As they were heading inside, the officer went into a coughing fit. Eve turned to look at him, as Andrea continued down the hall, pretending not to notice.

  “It is just my allergies acting up, Miss. It is nothing to worry about. You go on inside now.” They smiled another sad, knowing smile at each other.

  She turned her back to him, following in the direction Andrea had gone. Andrea was standing in the entryway of the door to the conference room, waiting for her. Eve looked back and frowned at the officer, who had turned his back on her.

  In the meeting room, Eve could see about twenty people of all ages sitting around talking amongst themselves. The crowd became still the moment everyone saw that a baby had entered the room. Many looked away from him. Some even began to weep silently. Eve’s heart broke for them, for she understood their grief. Even though she understood their pain, it did frighten her a bit. Eve gripped Caleb a little tighter and sat down at a table near the main door, with Andrea by her side.

  A terrifying thought entered her head as she stared around at all of the blank faces. Her mind began to flash images of the different kinds of horrific things people might be thinking of doing to her or Caleb. She knew people tended to do unspeakable things when traumatized.

  Thoughts of people trying to take him or trying to hurt him because they felt it unfair that he was alive and their children were not were the first to cross her mind, but those images soon changed. She slowly began to think about how much better it might be for him if he hadn’t survived. Her heart ached at these thoughts, but with the world the way it was, it would have been better for him if he died at birth with his mother.

  She mentally slapped herself for thinking about such things. Then she wondered what it would be like to watch him die if this thing wasn’t really over. With that, her brain switched over to thoughts of what he would do if she died before he did, leaving him alone. Would Andrea take care of him? Would they pass him on to someone else? What would happen to him if no one came for him?

  Picturing him screaming in his baby bed all alone, slowly dying from hunger made her stomach turn. Wiping away an errant tear, she made herself stop thinking. She would worry about such things when they happened. She wasn’t going to ruin the life she had focusing on dark thoughts, no matter how probable they were.

  Caleb had finished his juice, she had noticed, as she was chasing away bad thoughts, and now he wanted to play.

  “It’s all right if you want
to get him out for a while. I will help you watch him,” Andrea remarked, noticing his agitation and Eve’s hesitant looks around the room.

  Eve decided that that was a good idea, considering he might be cooped up in a vehicle all day. Although, she did take one quick, good look around them before she pulled him from the carrier. She held him sitting up on the table in front of her while Andrea played peak-a-boo with him. He had warmed up to her enough that he would play with her, but not enough to let her hold him.

  The two women did their best not to make eye contact with anyone while they waited, mostly because Eve couldn’t stand the longing looks the others gave them. At seven on the dot, a group of about six people came walking into the room with an important looking military officer. Kyle was with the six. As they entered, everyone began to sit and quiet down.

  “For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Captain Ryherd from the United States Army. I see a few new faces. That is heartening. Unfortunately, it seems that we are missing a few people. Do any of you have any information on any of those who aren’t here?”

  Eve looked around and saw that at least ten other people had come wandering in since they had. No one spoke up with any information on the missing.

  The Captain assigned the ‘newbies’ to existing groups. Most groups consisted of about six to seven people. Caleb and Eve were obviously with Kyle and the group that she had met the day before.

  In their groups, they were led out to the parking garage. Eve cringed in fear, but said nothing, though she did try to make sure she had an easy escape route in her line of sight.

  Every word, every movement made by the group was choreographed and routine. They were just going through the motions.

  “Each group is assigned a van and a garbage truck. The trucks are in the main parking lot with your group numbers painted on them. Your group leaders have your assignments, so I will leave you to converse with them,” Captain Ryherd said and reentered the building.