I’m focusing on keeping everyone calm, but I feel this pull, this hook in my chest, and I can’t stay downstairs playing babysitter. Out of everyone, I should be the staid one. I should be the one that is constant – that follows orders – but it’s me who breaks rank first and heads upstairs before anyone can grab me. For some insane reason, I take the stairs instead of traveling, and when I open the doors, I think I’ll probably regret that sixty-second trip for the rest of my life.
I don’t remember growling. I don’t remember moving, but when Mena looks up at me, I’m already trying to get to her – trying to get her away from that darkness clutched in her fist. I see the decision cross her face as soon as she makes it, she’ll do anything to save the people she loves, and somehow that includes me.
No, no, no!
“Mena!” I roar, forgetting my purpose, forgetting my oath to John, only knowing that I’ll follow her down to the depths of hell if I have to.
It takes less than a millisecond to process the room. I see it, but then again, I don’t. Everything is on the periphery of my mind. I know John and Olivia are there. I know she’s breathing. I know John is alive. I know Aurelia and Rhys are gaping in shock at the broken window. I know Rhys is now standing and moving to help, but I’m not sure what good a Phoenix with clipped wings is going to do.
I pass them all like they’re standing still, and dive out the window behind the woman who holds all that is left of me.
I feel my power rise to my skin like a flash flood – rumbling, rushing, surging through my pores. The blackness of the smoke coating my skin like an oil slick is at odds with the morning sunshine cutting the shadow of the mountain like a knife. She is falling fast, the fabric of the drapes she took with her floating away on the breeze like a ribbon in the wind. She twists and tumbles in her decent, but I don’t hear her scream or cry, and still she plummets.
I’ve never felt as helpless in the three hundred years I’ve walked this earth as I do at this moment. I follow her as she falls wondering if I should try to catch her or if I should attempt to grab her, if it will kill us both. As I’m pondering our imminent death like a spineless pussy, she decides to save herself.
The bright blue light of Mena’s Aegis shines like a beacon as she phases mid-air, her wings sprouting from her back with a great wrenching scream of agony – the first sound I’ve heard from her through the wind rushing past us – and my stomach twists. Her wings catch the air, buoying her, and I fall past her for a moment before I travel to the bottom of the gorge. At the base of the sharp, craggy cliff is a thin ribbon of a stream slowly widening to a small river as it descends over the rest of the mountain. River rocks of every shade of teal, amber, and magenta cover the shore.
I watch her as she flies. Her wings are beautifully fragile and match her better than I could have imagined. The feathers are a vibrant turquoise at the tips darkening to rich cobalt and then to the softest blue-black I have ever seen in my life. I’ve never seen wings like hers. Most adult Phoenix wings are red or orange or yellow, but never blue – and their flames are never this color.
Mena doesn’t fly straight to me; in fact, when she lands several feet away, the frustration on her face tells me she wishes I hadn’t followed. If I wasn’t sure of her feelings at the moment, when I step closer, she growls at me to get back, her wings fluttering in agitation. Her windblown hair flows wildly down her back, and her ripped sweater hangs from her shoulders exposing the black camisole underneath. She drops the locket that was once clutched so tightly in her fist to the rocks at her feet, shaking out her hand as if she’s trying to get feeling back into a sleeping limb. I feel the pull again; the need to go to her, but her growl turns feral.
“I told you to. Get. Back. This is poison. I have to destroy it. Now, back up, Asher,” she grits out through clenched teeth.
I realize now she’s barely holding onto her Aegis. I move back another fifty feet, and even though that might not be enough, I can’t make myself move another inch away from her. The veining of her shield glows brighter as she focuses and white bolts of light surge from her fingertips, hitting the locket with enough heat and energy, I stumble back on a foot so I don’t fall from the strength of the blast. River rocks fly like shrapnel from a bomb as her bolts of energy slam into the ground. The debris falls all around, but nothing gets within five feet of her before it roasts to a cinder from her shield.
“Is it dead yet?” I call, but she doesn’t answer. Only when she drops her shield – her body sagging slightly in the process – do I go to her. I don’t go slowly – one second I’m a hundred feet away and the next there is barely a foot separating us. The heat from her flames should burn at this distance, but they don’t. I stare into Mena’s blazing amber eyes, and I want to hold her. I want to kiss her. I want her to know I’m hers. Her expression is worried and unsure and slightly relieved at having me near, but she doesn’t break her gaze.
I know it then. Her flames won’t burn me. Her Aegis won’t hurt me. I’m in her heart just as much as she’s in mine. This clawing need fills me, and I can’t hold back anymore. Doing my best to go slowly, I cup her face in my hands, grazing the soft skin of her cheeks with my fingertips. Her eyes close and I press my mouth to hers, her mouth opening with a gasp at just the right moment. When our lips finally collide, I slide my tongue into her mouth to taste her. She tastes like mint and woman and the longer I kiss her, the more I want her – the more I need her. She moans, and I feel it spear through me straight down my spine to my dick.
Jesus.
Mena’s hands curl into my shirt at my waist, and if my eyes were open, they’d be rolling back into my head. Wrapping my arms around the small of her back, I tug her closer. Our chests collide, pulling a soft gasp from her lips, and I can’t fathom a better sound. Her fingers find their way to my cheeks, and then some wall in her crumbles because the kiss goes wild – all lips and teeth and hot gasping breaths. Our hands start roaming, and before I know it, I’ve hoisted her up and her legs are around my waist. I find my hands on her ribs just under her breasts, and I have to fight with myself so my thumbs don’t go rogue and graze her nipples like they’re aching to do. Fuck. This is going too fast. Even though I don’t want to, I break the kiss, resting my forehead on hers for a moment to catch my breath.
Her eyes open after a moment, the irises still glowing amber, and it sends a thrill of satisfaction through me. I did that – I made that secret smile on her face, I made her breaths grow heavy, I pulled that moan from her throat.
She brings her thumb to my lips, rubbing the kiss into the lower one. She seems fascinated with them for a moment before her mouth drops to mine again, tasting where she just ran her thumb, but she’s the one leading this time. I’d let her set me on fire if she keeps kissing me like this. When her tongue spears into my mouth, and the taste of her wrenches a groan from deep in my belly that seems to urge her on. Her legs tighten around my waist, and I feel the softness of her feathers cocoon us. I’m wrapped up like a bow for this girl and it’s the best feeling in the world. She gently breaks the kiss, rubbing her lips across mine back and forth.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you since the second I heard your voice,” I murmur against her mouth, and that pulls her eyes up to mine again. Disbelief colors them as if she doesn’t realize how gone I am for her.
“It was my first,” she admits shyly, her head ducking into my shoulder so she doesn’t have to say it to my face. I’m glad she can’t see the smug satisfaction on my face. I probably shouldn’t be glad she hasn’t had the affection she so rightly deserves, but I am. I’m glad I’m the first person to love her.
Even if I probably won’t be the last.
That weak thought sobers me and my arms band tighter around her back as if someone were about to tear her away. I wish my brain would stop reminding me that I’m dying. That I don’t get to keep her. I wish it would just let me have these few moments of peace.
“One hell of a first kiss, Princess,” I murmur again
st the bare skin of her shoulder doing my best to keep the sadness out of my voice.
“Really?” she asks as she pulls back, searching my face for a hint of deception – the vulnerability stark on her face – and I know she finds none. That kiss was the best moment of my life.
I nod and the smile I get in return steals my breath. God, I love this girl. Bond or no, mate or not, I realize at this moment that I’d love her anyway, and I can’t seem to keep my lips from hers.
“We should probably stop kissing and let them know I didn’t go squish,” Mena says against my mouth.
“Probably,” I mutter, and even though I don’t want to let her go, I hoist her up so she can unwind her legs from my waist, and I notice that when her wings are folded and resting, the tips drag the ground.
“You want to come with me or on your own?” I ask, and she shudders for a second.
“I’ll go on my own. No offense, but traveling makes me want to vomit. I’m not doing it if I don’t have to,” she admits.
“That seems to be the usual Phoenix response.”
“I’ll meet you up there,” she says as she takes off with a giant sweep of her wings. She is beautiful as she flies. Her spirit seems free and that is something that I crave – that I need to build on. I want to give her more of that, whatever way I can. She circles and climbs until she’s perched in the window she crashed out of, and only then do I go back up there, smoking in right beside her.
When I get to that I room, I wish we’d never come back.
11
Escape
MENA
I feel it all around me, the fear, the resentment, the rage. It fills the room, clawing me, choking me, making it hard to breathe, making it hard to think.
Everyone is so angry.
They are angry at me for jumping out of the window. Upset with Asher for following me. Livid that Olivia was poisoned right under their noses and no one noticed. The room is empty except for my sister and Cam. Olivia is being tended to, and I can’t imagine what this room would feel like if even one more person were here. Aurelia is screaming at me, Cam and Asher are at each other’s throats like they are three seconds from having a death match in the middle of the King’s bedroom, and I'm finding it difficult to be in a room with so much hostility. I wish I’d never set another toe into this room. I wish I hadn’t phased back. I wish I hadn’t broken that last kiss.
I should have just kept kissing him.
I haven’t let go of Asher’s hand since he appeared next to me at the broken window, the wind whipping around us in the maelstrom of voices screaming at the tops of their lungs – their words lost as they tumble over each other. I’d already felt lambasted by Aurelia’s tongue by the time he got there, and it only got worse when he showed up. My Aegis keeps spiking, and the louder Cam yells at Asher, the more agitated I become. I can’t explain why, but someone threatening Asher makes me territorial and so angry, a thick, red film covers my eyes. I feel my body heating up, and without letting him go, I somehow find myself in front of Asher, my teeth bared, and I can hear an ugly hissing sound – the first real sound to break through the thick buzzing in my ears. It takes me a second to realize the hissing is coming from me.
Cam’s expression goes from murderous to wary in a second, and Aurelia’s eyebrows shoot up her forehead so hard I think her face will break. In unison, they both take a generous step back.
“Stop. Yelling,” I snarl, and they both nod. I turn to Aurelia and growl, “What, exactly, would you have had me do? You said it was poisonous. I took care of it. Stop bitching at me. And you,” I say as I look at Cam, “Stop acting like an asshole. For all anyone else knew, my wings could have been clipped or cut off entirely by Iva. I could have gone splat protecting you all, so excuse me if someone gave a shit about my fucking life. I didn’t see anyone else at the bottom of that damn gorge, so if you have a problem with Ash making sure I lived, you can kiss my ass. Now, we all know my abilities are volatile at freaking best. I’m holding on by a thread here, so I would appreciate a moderate tone of voice from here on out. Is that understood?”
Aurelia nods, appearing appropriately chastised, and Cam looks like I slapped him across the face.
“I’m sorry, Mena,” he says, contrite and the change in his tone is remarkable. “You did us a kindness, and I… I am proud my cousin was brave enough to make sure you were safe.”
I nod in acceptance, deciding I’ve said enough, but it isn’t until Asher whispers in my ear do I realize my fingers are sparking like downed power lines.
“Princess,” he says as his hands find their way to my waist, “Everyone is calm, you can drop your shield.”
His warm hands on my body when no one should be able to touch me turns a key in my chest. I have to fight the urge to run my fingertips over my lips. I want to run away with him, I want to get out of this room and this house and just go.
Even if that is the worst plan I’ve ever had.
I want to get away from all these people and hostility and death. Because I feel death coming, I feel it in my bones that something awful is just around the corner and I want to grab Asher’s hand and run.
“Right,” I mumble and try to focus on calming down. Before it drops, though, Aurelia catches my sparking fingers. She’s just as immune to my Aegis as Asher is, and it feels strange to have such gentleness after so long without it. I don’t know what to do with it.
“I’m sorry I yelled. I was worried and felt useless because I couldn’t get to you. You did the right thing, even if I yelled at you for doing it.”
“It’s okay,” I say with a small wan smile and pull my fingers from her hands. “How is Olivia?” I ask, changing the subject from apologies and my shortcomings to something we should actually be worried about.
“She’s awake,” Aurelia murmurs, but I can see on her face that isn’t the good news we were hoping for. Their anger and fear make more sense now, and I can’t help but feel an unexplained clawing sadness for this woman I don’t know.
“Do you know who poisoned her?”
Aurelia’s face screws up as she closes her eyes, reviewing whatever hell she saw. “I see blackness as an entity in my mind, but it keeps changing shape. They flicker and morph into someone else every few seconds; their faces are covered in black smoke. I think it could be several people, but I feel Iva’s footprint here in the magic. It might be a group, but Iva was at the helm, and that scares the shit out of me.”
That scares the shit out of me too, and I can’t stay in that room. I can’t be in that house. I can’t be anywhere near here. I bolt from the room, through the tree of life door and hit a warm wall of a chest. When Asher’s strong arms wrap around me, it is a war in my body over whether to run from or relax into his embrace. My brain says run, but my heart is driving this train and my shoulders go slack.
“She’s dead, Princess. She’s not coming for you. You’re safe,” he murmurs soothingly into my ear, but he doesn’t know. He couldn’t have any idea what she’s like. He’s only heard the stories, but he hasn’t seen.
“She’ll come back. She always comes back. You think she’s done, but no. She’ll poke and prod and needle. She’ll tie you in knots only to unravel you and start all over again. She is the master of torture. And the worst agony in the world is making someone think they’re free only to steal the rug right out from underneath them. You don’t know. You don’t. You think you do…” I end on a shriek when I know I started with a whisper. His hands are gently holding my wrists, forcing them away from my face, and it’s only now that I realize he’s been trying to keep me from gouging my skin with my nails. My chest tightens and I can’t breathe.
I can’t breathe.
“Shh, Princess. Breathe, baby,” he murmurs trying to calm me, but all it does is make me want to get as far away as fast as I can. She’ll come. She’ll take everything away from me again and then I’ll kill him just like I killed my parents. I can’t be with him. I can’t be with anyone. I can’t stay.
>
“Let me go. Let me GO!” I scream, yanking out of his arms, my body vibrating with fear.
“Mena-girl, I need you to calm down,” Aurelia says at my left, and I have no idea when she got there. She sidles in next to Asher and somehow the room is filling up with people, and I can’t breathe. I’m surrounded, and that flips a switch in me turning me from terrified to livid.
“I’m leaving this room and this house, and you’re not stopping me. Get out of my way or I’m going through you. All of you,” I growl, shaking.
The circle around me loosens, and I make my escape down a rustic spiral staircase, my feet going so fast I have to grip the railing so I don’t bust my ass on the wood. Asher smokes in at the bottom of the staircase, and the growl that erupts from my chest makes him step back.
“I’m not stopping you. I just want to take you back to the lake house,” he almost pleads, holding his hands up to stop me. His eyes very nearly beg me, and in their sadness, I can’t seem to tell him no.
“Okay,” I whisper as I take the last few steps into his arms. He doesn’t wait for me to change my mind and cups my face, dropping his mouth to mine, rubbing his soft lips against my mouth startling a gasp from me. The traveling doesn’t hurt this time, and I am uncertain if it is because I’m used to it or if his tongue dancing with mine kills the pain of every ailment I’ve ever had. It isn’t until our mouths part that I realize we’re back where we started at the door to the room I woke up in.
“I know you’re thinking about leaving. I feel it. Don’t… just don’t, okay?” he implores as his arms band around my back, pulling me into the best hug I’ve ever had. I can’t help but rest my forehead on his shoulder and breathe him in. He smells like fabric softener and soft leather and the subtle, clean scent of man. The natural scent of his skin makes me want to run my teeth over his pulse point and nibble the skin there. It makes me want to bury my nose in his neck and breathe him in. It makes me forget, and forgetting is a luxury I’ve never had.
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